How can I bring this up to a woman without her being insecure about it.

There is this woman I started seeing and I really like her and things are going great. However, she has kind of a mustache, which I find to be very distracting. I am physically attracted to her apart from that but the hair does get in the way of the physical attraction, quite a bit actually.

So I thought I would tell her about it, since it's a concern, or a mood killer, but it's an easy fix cause all she has to is shave it right? But how do I bring this up without it going really bad?

oh god. honestly i don't think there's a way to say it that will go down well.

i never understood the female stache. shaving it isn't wise, but i mean there's so many hair removal options and it literally takes seconds to remove a line of fuzz.

maybe she's into the "naturalista" stuff and she purposefully leaves it? does she shave elsewhere?

you could try asking whether she has hair removal products you could borrow for, i dunno, come up with a body part you are going to sacrifice. just to see if by realizing you are diligent about body hair removal, she would follow suit.

just...tread carefully.

Not as simple as her just shaving it as far as I know! Men can shave their facial hair but it's a different consistency to the facial hair women have. I believe if a woman shaved her facial hair it would come back worse.

She would either need to wax or have it lasered to reduce the hair growth. Or bleach it to make it less noticeable in colour.

I'd be MORTIFIED if a person I was dating brought this up!

Do you have a grill? An abundance of lighter fluid could do the trick. I've seen people get rid of their eyebrows within a second.

Other then a freak accident I think you are going to have to learn to love her hair. Or maybe play a weird game of truth or dare.

I think the's no good way of bringing this up. You can try what Rainy said and show that you care about your body hair and so it might be that she follows suit. Or you can ask her about what she usually uses to remove hair and her opinions on that and then ask if she usually removes facial hair and see what she says. This is like a hint, but I think it's very obvious and she can be offended too.

Is it that you are particularly detail focused or is it enough that it shows up in pictures, can see it from a distance etc

Does she have good vision? Some people can't see details on their faces and may overlook the random hair etc

If her skin color and hair color are similar, laser is a slow, expensive option. Waxing can be hard on the complexion, and sometimes leads to a change in skin texture there.

Tweezing can be kinder but will take forever.

Thick dark hair as is not uncommon among certain cultures (incl my own) can be harder to eliminate. But it can be done. She may have given up spending the time amd money necessary.

Maybe you could buy a his and hers spa day. Or buy her a spa day and tell the spa?

The only thing I can think of that could possibly work is giving a "weird compliment". THIS IS HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL - TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK - but next time you guys are cuddling/touching each other's face, or kissing on the lips, you could say "I like your peach fuzz it's really wholesome and beautiful just like you". This may have the effect of making her self-conscious about it, and then on some future day she might say "Do you really like it?" and you can be like "it's part of you and I love you" and then she'll say "Maybe I should shave that part of my face" and then you can say something lateral like "It would make kissing you easier and I do love kissing you" and then MAYBE this'll work out... but again, this is highly experimental and this is NOT a recommendation. It's the only idea I can think of.

OP.

"she has kind of a mustache,

Is this a full-blown affair or just a little bit of fuzz. I am assuming it must be very noticeable for you to mention it.

I'd be VERY careful bringing this up with her. And shaving is a BAD idea as the hair will grow back stronger each time. I used to think that kind of hair was only caused by hormonal problems and only much more recently have I seen in salons the number of women having the lip waxed. Ouch.

The only thing I can think of that could possibly work is giving a "weird compliment". THIS IS HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL - TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK - but next time you guys are cuddling/touching each other's face, or kissing on the lips, you could say "I like your peach fuzz it's really wholesome and beautiful just like you". This may have the effect of making her self-conscious about it, and then on some future day she might say "Do you really like it?" and you can be like "it's part of you and I love you" and then she'll say "Maybe I should shave that part of my face" and then you can say something lateral like "It would make kissing you easier and I do love kissing you" and then MAYBE this'll work out... but again, this is highly experimental and this is NOT a recommendation. It's the only idea I can think of.

oh hell naw. unless you want to walk home without your clothes.

I agree with the idea of a spay day or a mini spa day. The professionals at those places will have no problem bringing it up. When you go to get the gift certificate you could even bring it up and see what they say.

What ever you do don't bring it up yourself unless it is the last resort and then you might just want to either accept it or end the relationship. I am curious why she hasn't taken care of it herself though. Could it be a cultural thing?

Try the spa day idea. Way safer but don't look all disappointed if she shows up at your place after her day of pampering sporting a fuzzy lip.

Good luck

Lost

I sort of get it but then again...

I guess if she thought it was an issue she would have taken care of it before now. I can't imagine there is a way to bring it up without her feeling self conscious about her stache. Things could snowball with "what else do you find unattractive about me".

If you bring it up a few things could happen:

-She laughs it off and she gets rid of it.

-She politely tells you all of the things that she'd like you to change about yourself.

-She gets hurt and tells you to get bent.

I would think long and hard before I said anything...

"Hirsutism is characterized by an increase in hair growth on the face, most often on the chin and above the lip. In some cases, unwanted hair growth may extend to other areas of the body, as well. The primary cause of hirsutism is an elevated level of male androgen hormones, namely testosterone. According to the Mayo Clinic, about 10 percent of women are affected by this disorder.

The American Academy of Family Physicians says that hirsutism tends to run in families. In addition, women of certain ethnic groups are more susceptible to developing this condition, most notably those of Mediterranean, Middle Eastern and Asian decent. The academy also points out that some medications may stimulate lip hair growth in women, such as anabolic steroids, hormone therapy and danazol, a drug used to treat endometriosis.

Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia

As the term “congenital” implies, this condition is inherited and involves an excessive secretion of steroid hormones from the adrenal glands, specifically cortisol and androgen. This condition, says the Mayo Clinic staff, may also cause lip hair growth."

From an article on livestrong.com

Maybe you could buy a his and hers spa day. Or buy her a spa day and tell the spa?

This is a good idea. Make sure you tell the staff beforehand.

Thank you LaH

As a woman of a culture given to the extra layer of fur, I iterate what I said in prior post. What is easy for others is not always so easy for the well-endowed-with-hair. But it can be done.

We are often promised results we don't get until we repeat treatments, whereas our friends are done already. We doubt what people tell us. We spend money and are dismayed that we still look almost exactly the same. I have family members who have gotten the whole beard section of the face lasered, because the hair there was so prominent despite it being blond in places and brown in the normal spots like the infamous over-the-lip disaster. Its isn't cheap, it took six or seven treatments, and required staying out of the sun for about a year to avoid damaging the skin. Laser was chosen over waxing, because waxing requires a bit of regrowth, and the whole thing became bothersome. Regrowth is not tolerable when it grows in like a man.

It can be handled. With money, time, and commitment. It isn't necessarily easy.

The spa day is a horrible idea, facial hair grows back on a weekly basis, are you going to fork over 200 dollars a week on spa days so she can wax her upper lip ? You can't just tell her to take 10 bucks and wax her upper lip at the spa... you'd have to disguise it and give her more money to get a facial treatment and then get one of the workers to "suggest" to her that she can wax her upper lip. To much dancing around the issue, money spent, and not to mention, she doesn't strike me as the type to like getting facials, her nails done or removing body hair so she probably won't want to go at all.

At any event, that's not really addressing the issue, it's dancing around it so you don't "hurt her feelings" so she will never know that you want her to remove her lip hair unless YOU tell her so, but then you run into the problem of her getting offended and telling you off or just getting offended. It might affect sex, her confidence will dwindle as she might think you don't find her attractive and then she won't initiate sex or want to get intimate.

So, think about how much her lip hair affects the situation, if you don't want to kiss her, aren't as attracted to her with that hair there, let her know, if she gets offended, then oh well, find you a woman that takes better care of her appearance and actually likes looking feminine.

Also, as women age and get closer to menopause, they sometimes get more facial hair around the chin and upper lip... so imagine if at this stage she doesn't care about it, then what will it look like when she's 50 ? She'd be competing with yours ! That's just gross and off putting.

Nothing wrong with letting her know, if she wants to get defensive and pull away or break up over it, then whatever, plenty of upper lip hair free fish in the sea.

Yikes! She needs that fuzz off her top lip pronto. I would definitely bring it to her attention.

I would break up if she is a grown woman and it turns you off. She already knows about it, trust me.

Okay thanks. Well I've only been a couple of dates so far, but I know her from before, since she was part of a group of friends. I am really into her, and attracted to her, aside from this one significant thing, which is distracting for sure. She does dress nice, do her hair and make up, and has an attractive sense of fashion and style, it's just the one thing really.

She does dress nice, do her hair and make up, and has an attractive sense of fashion and style, it's just the one thing really.

People often stop doing those things too, as they get older. Just a warning that this may be a temporary attraction.