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Vicky89

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  • Birthday 12/05/1987

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  1. Living like that will give you tons of anxiety and stress. I totally get it, if someone is complementing you, being nice to you, it's flattering, how can you tell them, " I'm not interested" when they are being so nice/ kind to you and praising you ? After the praising is done, of course you won't feel comfortable turning them down, you will feel like you are being rude, mean, unappreciative etc. I had this problem and still somewhat have this problem too ! And like you, I don't find myself attracted to that many people at all, when I finally meet someone that am actually attracted to mentally, emotionally and physically, they tend to be taken (married or in long term relationships) or they are not interested, or only interested in casual sex. I am dating someone now though, I met him at a cooking class of all places ! lol, it's been going pretty well with some minor hiccups that we have fixed. Try being less approachable, keep to yourself and if a guy comes up to you, be polite, but don't be smiling too much or keeping the conversation going for too long, that can give the impression to the guy, that you like his company, are attracted to him, and then he sticks around like glue. The few and far in between men that you DO actually like and are attracted to, THOSE are the men you need to be smiling at, conversing with, laughing together, have a good time with. Don't feel bad or apologize for not being attracted to someone, we can't help who we are attracted to, we simply like what we like. And also, any guy that aggressively keeps pushing you for a date or makes you feel bad for turning him down, is someone that's pretty egotistical and aren't interested in you anyways because when you like someone, you want what's best for them and for them to be happy, even if that's not with you, forcing them to date you when they clearly don't want to is not love on your part it's selfishness and that's what those men do and are so do NOT feel bad to say "no". How else are you going to find the right guy for you if you say yes to the wrong ones that you don't want ? You can't right ? So don't feel bad.
  2. Your marriage has nothing to do with you having kids, that's a separate thing, staying JUST because you have kids together is not a good idea, unless the lesson you want to teach your kids is that when you have kids your life changes for the worse and now all the crap you wouldn't put up with while childfree you have to put up with when you have kids, like staying with a cheating husband who has no consciousness. I like how he cheated for an entire month on you with your friend, and then when you find out he fires the friend, means he doesn't care about anyone at all, only what's convinient for him. He knows that as a stay at home wife, if you were to divorce with three kids, he would have to fake his death and leave the country, because child support for three kids plus alimoney for you, will leave him living in a studio apartment in a bad part of town, so to save his behind, he fires her ( no never mind that she won't have an income, what does he care ? He was using her for sex, all to save his money. This guy is trash anyway you look at it. Oh, and I really like how he says it was "only" a month, gee honey, I was only having sex with her in every position imaginable for 30 days, hope you can just sweep that under the rug babe, I have fired her, because well, why should I be the one to lose my job ? So I fired her instead, aren't I just a stand up guy ? "
  3. The thing is, unless the woman is 400 pounds and/ or just really ugly, men will say yes to a date. Women on the other hand tend to be much more picky when they say yes to a man. So if a woman approached a guy, how will she know he is with her because he wants her, or he is with her because she was the only one to approach him ( even if subtlety) and he just took the first thing being offered to him ?
  4. He is religious and is on the pro-life boat, where as am more on the pro- choice boat.
  5. Ran into a bit of a problem in how we see things. topics like religion and abortion we don't see eye to eye in, and am not sure if this is something that will be a deal breaker or not. It's a shame because we get along in every other aspect, but the thought of me being pregnant on accident and how I'd handle it versus how he'd handle it, makes me a bit nervous and uncertain.
  6. She IS just a girlfriend, so you can leave her whenever, she accepts money from this guy which is trashy of her, she needs to support herself not be taking money from him, and men don't just give money because they are being kind, she's doing something in exchange for that money. You can always visit the kids if you have a bond with them, but you don't stay in a relationship that's not working out just so you can be close to her kids which aren't your kids anyways. Sorry this happened to you, but she sounds like bad news to me.
  7. UPDATE: We have now gone on several dates and have kissed a couple times, things are going pretty good.
  8. Did you know that they have sites online that cater to people with bipolar disorder ? They have dating sites specifically for people with bipolar, just google " Bipolar disorder dating sites" Back 100 years ago, you had autism, you had bipolar, you had schizophrenia, you had anxiety attacks, you were introverted, whatever, and there was no one that understood you, now... well, now everyone can find their own place among others who actually get them because they are facing the same issues ! There's a niche for everyone So, your breakups are probably because regular extroverted people or people without depression just don't understand when someone has it, or why they have it, and even if they did understand it, they don't want to be around someone they just aren't clicking with. But, if you dated a woman with depression or bipolar, she'd get you, and you'd get her. I think you should focus ahead on what you can do to help yourself and also to find that one partner that you can share your time with. Don't dwell on this ex, moving on is for your own peace of mind, because she's already moved on. And I don't see my failed relationships as a waste of time or get upset over them ending anymore, I see it as where one door closes, another one opens up.
  9. The thing about online dating is that these people are meeting multiple people and talking to several people, not just you. They have what they are looking for on their minds and they are just out to find that. It's entirely possible that she was talking to another guy that interested her, and that they had been talking for some time, things finally progressed to where she wanted them to and so she no longer needed to talk with you. The questions you asked where fine, they are normal questions to ask or things to talk about, she just wasn't interested, move on to the next one.
  10. You said he did wear a condom and you only slept with each other one time, this greatly decreases the chances that he has it, plus you weren't breaking out, that doesn't mean he doesn't have it, it just means it reduced the chances. However, never do this again, ever. Honestly, this guy doesn't seem to care too much about his sexual health himself, I mean, he slept with you on the second date and he didn't want to wear a condom.... do you know how many other women he has slept with if he is that careless with you ? He may have gotten stds in the past, heck, he may already have herpes. You had to insist he wear a condom. Scary... For your own protection, wait much longer than a second date to have sex with a guy you don't know that well at all. Tell the guy BEFORE sex, that you have herpes, and then use protection. But, what's done is done so now just tell him you have herpes and wait for what he says, he may be angry, bitter, resentful, upset, he may refuse to see you again, or he may continue to see you. But he does deserve to know what you have.
  11. While I didn't try out the store thing, I think as well it's not a terrible idea, since you are single, try Hobby Lobby or Michaels, lots of women at these craft stores, are you into artsy crafty women ? Maybe you can try the cooking classes yourself, they are a bit pricey so it's NOT something you can do every week but, you can attend a couple of them, good luck !
  12. UPDATE : Oh Lord, so he had continued to contact me asking what's going on, I said that I am not interested in going out on anymore dates with him, he was quiet for a minute and then he said, "why not ?" So I told him I had an issue with the way he was looking at other women on the second date we went to, again he was quiet for a minute and then he said he wasn't aware of staring at anyone on our date, I told him that while he wasn't out right staring at anyone in particular, he was eyeing up other women and I just wasn't comfortable with that and don't want another date. He then tells me he found he had a lot of chemistry with me and that he enjoyed our dates very much and this is just simply a misunderstanding. He said he honestly doesn't remember looking at anyone or leering/ staring and that he wants another shot. I said ok and yesterday he invited me over his house. He didn't make any moves on me, he just cooked us some food we watched a movie and walked around his neighborhood, he lives out on a lake so the walk was nice. I think I will let this play out and see where it goes.
  13. You are right. I attended two cooking classes and got a date out of one of them, and cooking classes aren't even for dating ! So actually, it went pretty well considering those things. He has contacted me again asking me for another date and that he enjoyed our last one. I haven't replied back. Am on the fence of whether or not to tell him the reason I don't want another date is because he has a roaming eye. I feel like perhaps to help him out in future dates with other women, that I should tell him to be more tactful in public about looking at other women when he is out on a date, or should I just say a simple " While I did enjoy our dates, I don't think we are the right match for each other." and leave it at that ?
  14. UPDATE: While the first date was good, the second was not so good. He spent a lot of time "eyeing up" women in the restaurant and then I realized he just has a naturally flirtatious personality which isn't what am into, no wonder he felt open enough to ask for my number at the cooking class, he has the practice of asking for numerous numbers. So, am back to square one, sigh.
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