Doesn't like my colored hair?

For the past year or so, I have been dip dying my hair odd colors w/semi permanent dye. I went on a date and I ended up liking the guy. My only concern is that when I pointed out my now blue/purple tips, he told me he didn't like it and kind asked if there was a way I could remove it. I said "I just colored it, so no I don't want to get rid of it". He didn't say anything else, I found it strange though. Thoughts? btw the colored hair doesn't hold me back from anything, not against my job dress code or anything.

Nothing wrong with you colouring your hair the way you like it, similarly nothing wrong with him not liking it. Just means you're not a match. And yes something as small as hair colour could be a turn off for someone you just met once, no big deal as long as it's not an ongoing issues you seem to find with most people you go on dates with.

Nothing wrong with you colouring your hair the way you like it, similarly nothing wrong with him not liking it. Just means you're not a match. And yes something as small as hair colour could be a turn off for someone you just met once, no big deal as long as it's not an ongoing issues you seem to find with most people you go on dates with.

Thing is I don't really care about my hair color, just wanna make sure that this isn't someone controlling.

Thing is I don't really care about my hair color, just wanna make sure that this isn't someone controlling.

What was his exact wording and tone?

What was his exact wording and tone?

Surprise and amusment

You just had one date with him. I wouldn't change my hair for a man I just met and I think you answered him well. Just wait and see if the hair thing is a deal breaker for him or not. It's too soon to access yet. If it is a deal breaker for him or if he keeps nagging you about it then you two are not a good match and time to move on.

Surprise and amusment

Then he could be just joking. Too little information to tell. I'm sure given a couple more dates you can get a better read on him.

When the date ended, did he give you any indication that he wanted a second one? He may very well be put off by your hair colour, but if that's the case then you move on.

Luckily it was only a first date and you found out your incompatibilities early on.

I don't think it is weird to state your opinion. But if it came off as you need to do something about your hair or we can't continue, that sounds controlling. Or if he lacked tack and you were offended then he will probably put his opinion bluntly all the time. Something to consider. But I would personally catalog the response mentally and just watch for controlling behavior. If its a trend run! He might just be blunt. But if that bothers you then you might want to discontinue the relationship too. Could also be a sign of not being able to let the little things go.

Not enough information to judge whether he is controlling or just blunt about expressing his opinion and preferences. It's something to file away and keep an eye on if you choose to go on more dates with him, assuming he will even ask. It's really not that unusual for people to have pretty strong preferences for hair color, looks in general, etc.

Ultimately, keep in mind that you want a guy who likes you as you are including your whimsical side.

Don't change anything for one date with someone or really probably ever. What that says about you is "I have no opinion and want others to like me, so you can control me all you want." Don't even go there. If he doesn't like it he is free to not date you. And one date in you may like what you see, but you don't know this guy at all. Personally I think it's really pretty when people color their hair like that. And it's kind of a red flag if someone who just met you doesn't like something about you that is to you a form of expressing your own aesthetics and personality. We aren't talking the guy said, "Please don't drink so much," or even, "Can I ask you to move your purse, so that lady can get by you?" Those are things someone tells you that are about what you're doing that they may not like and if they're valid, hey they can knock themselves out.

But someone unless it's a person I've known long enough to know if they don't like something it's because it really doesn't look good on me, and I trust their opinion enough to know they will still love me regardless if I like it (And maybe I'll change it 'cause they have never been wrong about colors that go with my complexion) - then I do not listen to people I barely know say "I don't like how you dress/look/your hair/your makeup/your speech/your religion/your skin color/your anything that makes up who I am at the heart of ME. Because they have not earned that right and it is a right.

I know people will say, "What's the big deal? It's only hair color, right?" Except it's your freedom of expression. It's what you like to do to feel pretty. You get pleasure from doing it right? So at what point do you draw a line when someone tells you that you need to not do something that you enjoy, that you feel makes the world a bit brighter for you? Is that when they tell you they don't want you to wear so much makeup? Or when they tell you that you shouldn't wear your choice of clothes, because the wrong type of woman only wears those or cowboy boots/short skirts/tops that shown any skin/fill in the blank are only worn by a woman is a (fill in pejorative term).

This can then escalate to your friends, your family, your job, how you walk, talk, eat, breath, you name it. At what point do you decide to tell someone else, "Too bad, this is ME and if you don't like it there's the door?"

And this is where I'm telling you that the time to say that is the first time they do any sort of "I don't like something about you that is a part of you and expression of yourself that's not hurting anyone or anything." So no, I would not go on a second date with the guy. Or maybe I would and I'd show with multi-colored hair just to p88s him off, because I'm a rebel like that when it comes to people telling me I can't or I shouldn't. And maybe you need to look at that, because blue tips is a very mild thing here. Heck shave your head and get a face tattoo of a tiger if you want to.

The right guy, the right people, will accept all of you, and pretty much from the start. Find the guy who likes it or won't judge. And if they criticize how you dress or your makeup, get up, walk out after tossing money on the table, get your way home that you hopefully arranged in advance and no didn't tell them where you lived. Safety tips.

Oh well, he was honest but he's clearly not into you, your hair, whatever...that's his problem. Telling you how to look, dress, etc. on the first meet is a red flag.

Didn't he see a recent picture on your profile?

I pointed out my now blue/purple tips, he told me he didn't like it and kind asked if there was a way I could remove it.

He's allowed not to like it, and depending on your age, I'm sure he's quite far from alone with not being a fan of purple frosted tips. I know I'm not. That said, I do consider it a red flag for him to bring it up. I admit that I, somewhat prejudicially, judge bold aesthetic expressions as compensations, so they're generally a turnoff. But I'd probably just not ask you out again. It doesn't sit right with me that he elected to give you completely unsolicited criticism on a first date, not that it would have been any better had he done so on a 3rd or 4th. Now if you'd been together a year and you showed up with some purple tips without warning, I could understand a reflexive, "WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE???"

Sorry, didn't notice this bit:

My only concern is that when I pointed out my now blue/purple tips, he told me he didn't like it and kind asked if there was a way I could remove it.

So to cut him a tiny bit of slack, it wasn't completely unsolicited. He'd actually be perfectly justified saying outright and outloud that he doesn't like them. Given he wasn't the one to make them the subject of conversation, I might be willing to give him some benefit of the doubt and assume maybe he meant "can you get rid of it?" as a matter of capability and whether you'd have to wait until you cut your hair and not necessarily that you should hit up the pharmacy and grab some hair dye on the way home.

So, yeah. Instinctively, I still don't like it, but I suppose the context of the conversation matters a bit.

I also hadn't noticed that you pointed it out. If he had said that out of the blue even though he has the right to have his opinion I'd find that rude. If you brought that up then it's slightly less rude, however I wouldn't feel the obligation or pressured to change it for him. If it's controlling or not it's too soon to see I guess.

This wasn't in your profile pic? He's a jerk but perhaps you'll get better results portraying yourself accurately so people like him don't meet you in the first place and only guys who are cool with weird colored hair will bother contacting you.

You need to filter much better rather then continue to go on one-and-done dates by not portraying yourself accurately physically or on your profile and by not filtering whatsoever.

I pointed out my now blue/purple tips

Not enough information to judge whether he is controlling or just blunt about expressing his opinion and preferences. It's something to file away and keep an eye on if you choose to go on more dates with him, assuming he will even ask. It's really not that unusual for people to have pretty strong preferences for hair color, looks in general, etc.

 

Ultimately, keep in mind that you want a guy who likes you as you are including your whimsical side.

We are going out again, I'll see what he says.

Show up with your head shaved, see what he says.

We are going out again, I'll see what he says.

Is this the guy who also complained about hair ribbons? Why not send an accurate pic of yourself representing how you'll looking when you meet before setting up a date to there is no shock value for you?

We are going out again, I'll see what he says.