Relationship Dispute

My partner and I have been together 5 years and have plans to be getting married within the next year. We plan to go to Niagara Falls for our honeymoon which is super special to me cause I have never been there and she hasn't since she was a kid, but now, she's making plans to go visit Niagara Falls with others, and I can't help but feel like that kinda ruins what is special about it.. I tried to bring this up with her, but she told me I was a big baby and she can go whenever she wants she doesn't need me.. I'm not sure what to say to her to help her understand how I feel and why I don't want her going where we have special plans before we even get to experience it together..

I think you are sweating the small stuff!

Who outof her and her friends organised this?

She has already been, your honeymoon can still be special as it is your first time there with your wife?

How do you normally resolve arguments? Do you usually get your way or does she? Or do you compromise?

Do you regularly argue about this or something bigger?

Well the fact I've been called an idiot and a moron for the last day perhaps you're right and I should just back off. Not sure if I'd still want to go there though, I'm unsure why but for me, her going with others when we have plans there kinda kills the special vibe with the place.

Well then choose another destination.

It's not that big a deal. And if you can't handle this how are you going to handle real life marriage issues! ?

Why not organise a trip there with your friends (ooo! How about your stag do??) and go somewhere else for your honeymoon . What ever you do, don't make a huge deal out of it...

I kinda understand how you feel. (Maybe I'm an idiot too)... I'm very sentimental and believe the honeymoon should be a mutual place where you can start the rest of your life's on a happy loved up footing.. last thing you need is resentment or disappointment at a beautiful time of your life.

I guess you both need to talk about it rationally.. maybe find a compromise (another place you haven't been)😊

Goodluck

Together5Years, I agree with you. It's fun exploring new places with your partner and having new experiences together. And I think a honeymoon should be a very special trip that just you two share.

I also think her reaction to you explaining your feelings was quite selfish and downright rude. Regardless of her opinion, you're entitled to your own feelings and she completely dismissed them.

You'll have to find a compromise you're both comfortable with. 1. She doesn't go to the falls with friends. 2. You go somewhere else on your honeymoon. Or 3. You find a way to be okay with it, maybe plan different outings for your honeymoon that she didn't do with friends.

And have a talk with her about respecting her partner's feelings instead of dismissing them.

I wanted to add that it's not okay for your fiancé to call you an idiot or a moron. Why do you tolerate that?

Sorry to say, but to me she sounds like a brat who doesn't care about your feelings at all and shows total disrespect for your thoughts and feelings (but maybe that's just me). Then she further shows disrespect by calling you names, a moron and an idiot.

I can't help but wonder how SHE would have reacted if you did this to her. I somehow get the feeling she would not be very happy about it.

Unfortunately I have no idea how you can sort this out seeing as she ignores the issue when you raise it. Maybe time to re-think this relationship.

I agree with Indea and Capricorn.

I actually AGREE with you. If you two are planning to go for your honeymoon, and she hasn't been since she was little (and YOU haven't been at ALL) why does she have to go NOW? Why can't she wait a little while longer so you guys can go TOGETHER? You mean to tell me there's NO PLACE ELSE her and her friends can go for a vacation? I'd have an issue with it too. In fact I might even change the honeymoon location to another place that we'd both like to visit. Not Niagra Falls tho. Not after this.

Tell her to go to the American side. It sucks. Then have your honeymoon on the canadian side wich is a lot better. Problem solved

I would go to Niagara Falls with your friends too and pick a different honeymoon place. I would also tell never to call you names again. Does she usually resolve issues like this?

And yes ,the Canadian side is better and that's not just because I'm Canadian. I have been to both sides.

It would be nice if she understood but your honeymoon will be special whether you've been there 100 x or never.

Well the fact I've been called an idiot and a moron for the last day perhaps you're right and I should just back off. Not sure if I'd still want to go there though, I'm unsure why but for me, her going with others when we have plans there kinda kills the special vibe with the place.

I'd skip worrying about the honeymoon, and I'd question instead why I'd even want to date, much less marry, someone so hostile.