Girl with a boyfriend has been flirting with me but sending mixed signals

I'm in my freshman year in college, been here for about two months. There is this girl that came up to me and asked for my number while I was at work. I gave it to her of course, then after texting for a couple days she came over and we just hung out. The most we did was she leaned back in my lap while I played in her hair.

Then about a day later we went to a party, she got high and was sitting on my lap and was just over me the whole night. I was drunk but I didn't make any advances in worry that they'd be rejected and Id make things awkward. So the next morning she text me and says "I'm sorry for being all over you last night. It was inappropriate cause I have a boyfriend". Yadadada, then later that day she said she knew I liked her but "I cant show you I like you back cause I don't wanna send mixed signal and we cant be friends anymore." But came over three more times including yesterday.

So basically, me and all my friends think she is completely beautiful but she only ****s with me. She is a great person but Id love to sleep with her(not a misogynist or player just a regular 18yr old boy) but I feel like she is sending mixed signal. Can you guys help interpret the situation? The REAL problem is I think I found myself liking her, that's bad. Because if I was her boyfriend and she was going to parties with hella guys and visiting some random guy on a regular basis Id be pissed. I really would rather just have sex with her.

P.S: I brought up kissing her one day and she said she'd be mad if I did it. I'm not sure about that though, but I'm not going to because...consent. But I think she was just saying that as the "right thing to say" if I kissed her I think she'd kiss me back. If it doesn't work out I don't have a problem because I have no trouble with the ladies.

P.P.S: The other day I said I wanted her to cuddle with me and then she just said she couldn't answer that question. Then I said “If you wanna say no just say that then.” She then said “The answer isn't no, otherwise that's what I would say.” And Ill attach the texts too just for extra context.

Question: Do you think she likes me but is trying to stay loyal or she is flirtatious with nothing else as a possibility? Should I kiss her? When we hang out, I always catch her just staring at me sometimes. And she always makes sure her lips are glossy.

Um, she has a bf. Of course you shouldn't kiss her. Leave her alone.

Geez, people just don't respect relationships.

She is a great person but Id love to sleep with her(not a misogynist or player just a regular 18yr old boy) but I feel like she is sending mixed signal. Can you guys help interpret the situation?

What part of "I have a boyfriend," and "we cant be friends anymore," did you not understand? It's very crystal clear what she told you.

She's off limits. She end it so there will no longer be any "mixed signals." Move on. Respect the fact she is in a relationship with another person.

...she knew I liked her but "I cant show you I like you back cause I don't wanna send mixed signal and we cant be friends anymore." But came over three more times including yesterday.

What part of "I have a boyfriend," and "we cant be friends anymore," did you not understand? It's very crystal clear what she told you.

 

She's off limits. She end it so there will no longer be any "mixed signals." Move on. Respect the fact she is in a relationship with another person.

To be fair, Snny, OP did just literally say that she said they couldn't be friends and then hung out with him three more times. I don't think that's very crystal clear, at all.

Sure, kiss her. She might kiss you back, she might kiss you AND be mad at you, ignoring the fact that she kissed you too. Kiss her if you want to further invest in this young woman who is all over the map. It will lead to needless drama, no matter how it goes down.

Seriously, don't kiss her. Don't let her come see you. Grow tired of her inability to say as she does and do as she says. When she gets herself straight, then she is worth kissing.

Is she in an open relationship with her bf? What does she want with you? fwb? hookups? dating? Have you asked her?

"I'm sorry for being all over you last night. It was inappropriate cause I have a boyfriend". "I cant show you I like you back cause I don't wanna send mixed signal and we cant be friends anymore."

 

Id love to sleep with her but I feel like she is sending mixed signal. The other day I said I wanted her to cuddle with me and then she just said she couldn't answer that question.

she leaned back in my lap while I played in her hair.

Hmmm.... erm.....

Sounds like she's doing the usual "I wonder whether other men find me attractive, why don't I grab one and flirt with him even though I have no intentions and have a boyfriend" stuff that women do.

If she's lucky, you won't tell her boyfriend, right?

Also, move on, man. Women like this aren't worth bothering with. They'll waste a lot of your time.

She will waste a lot of your time, and her boyfriend's time, for sure.

Agree she's being a tease for the attention. If you want to get laid...not going to happen in a carrot and stick situation like this.

"I wonder whether other men find me attractive, why don't I grab one and flirt with him even though I have no intentions and have a boyfriend"

Or, if you want to get laid, find someone else and don't mess with other people's relationships to do so.

She's got a boyfriend, she's not that into you. She'll break your heart if you continue to play with her. I'd cut contact.

If they say they have a boyfriend, they are out.

Usually I take mixed signals to mean she likes you but doesn't know what she wants, or she just wants attention. Either way I'd cut her off and move on to better things. If she didn't have a BF I'd say take your shot and kiss her, but the potential baggage and drama isn't even worth it.

Girl with a boyfriend has been flirting with me but sending mixed signals

What's in that for you beyond a front row seat to witness her disloyalty. Someone who would be disloyal WITH you will just easy easily be disloyal TO you.

If you 'win' this girl, it will feel great for about 5 minutes before you start wondering who else she has on deck.

I'd skip her.

You guys are looking at this thing from a very grown-up point of view. The individuals involved in this are 18 years old. Sex is the main driving force in their lives at this time. She is most likely seeking attention, but if OP is there in the right time, she may have sex with him. Nothing serious can come out of this anyway, but as far as I can tell, something serious is not what OP wants.

OP, if you want "serious stuff" with this girl, look away. If you want sexual relations, there is no harm in trying even if it leads to rejection. You are not going anywhere anyway. At least rejection will help you get a definite answer to your situation and move on. If she doesn't reject you - all the better.

Some (most in my experience) girls do look for a serious replacement when looking for a way out of a relationship. She may be one of those girls, but you should not count on it.

You guys are looking at this thing from a very grown-up point of view. The individuals involved in this are 18 years old.

You know? It never occurred to me that there might be an age too young to learn how to be smart.

Sex is the main driving force in their lives at this time.

Since it's a driving force in most people's lives long after 'this time,' and for some, long before 'this time,' it might make sense for this to be a time of learning how to handle some of the unintended consequences that can go along with it.

If that's of no value to you, OP, then please play through. I may have missed the point of your question.

The best way to learn the consequences of something is to experience it yourself. Better when you are 18, than when you are 30. The consequences will be much less severe.

You guys are looking at this thing from a very grown-up point of view. The individuals involved in this are 18 years old.

Yes, well that's one of the things that grown-ups do: raise and guide young humans.

But grown-ups should also know that unless the younger humans have some kind of incentive, they will try to touch fire until they get burned. People telling him not to is not incentive enough so in the end, he will read between the lines and do it. Might as well tell him what to be careful about.

OP started the topic, because he was unsure and seeked encouragement. They are still young. They need to experience those things now and not when they are married with children.

The smart person does not not make mistakes. The smart person knows how to learn from them and identify similar situations in the future, so he can make the right decision without first getting burned by fire in order to make sure that "Yup, it's fire.". How will OP learn if he does not experience it?

There is a high chance that the girl is looking for a way out of a relationship but just needs something secure to "transfer" to.

There is also the chance that she is just looking for attention.

I have been in a similar situation just last year. A girl was in a "relationship" but one could tell that this was the case only if someone told him. Even her friends were not sure if the relationship was still on. She was obviously very confused and looking for a way out of this mess. I was the way out, but I was also a "good boy" and did not want to do anything physical (even kissing) while she was still involved. I got tired of her confusion at the end and backed up. 2 months later she dumped him and started going out with another guy. If she wants to do it - she will. Better be with OP if this brings him no harm in any way.

The dude asked for advice. He got it.

Yes. And now he can pick what he wants from all the posts, interpret it himself and act on it. Wanna bet who's post he will read carefully?

You and me both know that he wanted encouragement and positive interpretations because he clearly knows what he wants to do. Don't be so harsh on the guy. This situation is like taken from a harmless jolly teen movie.

Yes. And now he can pick what he wants from all the posts, interpret it himself and act on it. Wanna bet who's post he will read carefully?

You and me both know that he wanted encouragement and positive interpretations because he clearly knows what he wants to do. Don't be so harsh on the guy. This situation is like taken from a harmless jolly teen movie.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Too much speculation for me. Sorry.