[Confused] Girl went radio silence but got angry when I removed her

I've been talking to this girl that I've met through Tinder, everything went well and we shared our phonenumbers after that. We had a nice conversation for some time and she showed a lot of initiative in the beginning: calling me, asking if I was ever interested in meeting her, asking lots of questions about my life. I showed just as much interest in her and was very interested in meeting this girl.

Here is the 'but':

I heared nothing from her quite awhile (a week maybe). I knew she was busy for a exam but a week after that: not a single word from her. Now I've gotten used to this in the datingscene and most of the time I came to the conclusion that the other party lost interest. So I automatically thought this girl lost her flame for me. At this point I felt it would be best to delete her number and block her and put the focus back on me. I also deleted tinder and wanted to take some time off from it. This decision honestly felt good.

Now today in the morning I received a angry message from this girl telling me: "I see you've blocked me! Thanks a lot !!! Don't worry I'll delete your number."

Now for me, this is the confusing part. I think that I might've been quick in judging the situation and that was my mistake. But a part of me is still not so sure. How should I have handled this? Or maybe this was the right decision?

Sorry for my bad Ingurish.

When's the last time you met a woman who was content to not have the last word? Just kidding... kinda.

You should have handled the situation by asking her out on an actual date. Other than that, it really shouldn't be much skin off your nose. Next time you start talking to a woman, cut to the chase and meet in person. You'll avoid this false sense of investment you're feeling having never actually met this particular woman.

Preemptive blocking is not worthwhile it comes from insecurity and a defeatist approach.. Online dating takes patience and perseverance. Assume people are multidating. Try to meet asap. And don't take anything personally.

If she wasn't contacting why block her, delete her and no less delete Tinder? Relax and just move on to those interested in meeting asap.

I knew she was busy for a exam but a week after that: not a single word from her.So I automatically thought this girl lost her flame for me. At this point I felt it would be best to delete her number and block her and put the focus back on me. I received a angry message from this girl telling me: "I see you've blocked me! Thanks a lot !!! Don't worry I'll delete your number."

Less with the damn texting already, more with the meeting up.

Seriously, I see this stuff and just have to shake my head. Neither of you should be getting upset with the other when you haven't even met for one date, not even coffee!

Too much drama already, block and move on. Focus on getting women to actually meet with you and find out if there's anything there to begin with instead of creating false intimacy with over-texting.

It's confusing, because you're trying to "read" emotions when it's all just zeroes and ones on a tiny computer. You don't even know each other, you are more than allowed to talk to other women, and yes to ask them out. And you should. I'm going to caution you right now, you need to give anyone possible a 1-2 week at best time to meet for coffee. If they can't manage that then either they don't want to date you, but want chat buddies to pass the time with (why this is a thing I do NOT understand) or they're catfishing you OR they really are so busy that dating them is going to be like throwing darts out the window of a moving car while someone else drives beside you holding up the bulls eye target. (Folks DO NOT try that anywhere, let alone home.)

You need to move on. Put this down to a learning experience, because online dating has a learning curve to it and you didn't really do anything wrong, but start investing in something before you even knew this person. Ditto to her too. She has zero right to be upset, so do you. It didn't work out is all, and lots of times it won't.

You're going for the ones that do and they are out there, so don't get discouraged okay?

I've been talking to this girl that I've met through Tinder, everything went well and we shared our phonenumbers after that. We had a nice conversation for some time and she showed a lot of initiative in the beginning: calling me, asking if I was ever interested in meeting her, asking lots of questions about my life. I showed just as much interest in her and was very interested in meeting this girl.

 

Here is the 'but':

 

I heared nothing from her quite awhile (a week maybe). I knew she was busy for a exam but a week after that: not a single word from her. Now I've gotten used to this in the datingscene and most of the time I came to the conclusion that the other party lost interest. So I automatically thought this girl lost her flame for me. At this point I felt it would be best to delete her number and block her and put the focus back on me. I also deleted tinder and wanted to take some time off from it. This decision honestly felt good.

 

Now today in the morning I received a angry message from this girl telling me: "I see you've blocked me! Thanks a lot !!! Don't worry I'll delete your number."

 

Now for me, this is the confusing part. I think that I might've been quick in judging the situation and that was my mistake. But a part of me is still not so sure. How should I have handled this? Or maybe this was the right decision?

 

Sorry for my bad Ingurish.

 

I think you can still handle this. Apologize and say you got the impression she was done with you because you didn't hear back a week after her exams were over. And then ask to meet up if she's still interested.

I know I'd have lost interest in someone I'd never met after a week of silence, don't sweat it.

I wouldn't bother trying to rekindle anything with her, I agree w/ ParisPaulette, way too much drama from someone you've never met. You dodged a bullet.

I've seen a lot of great points. Thankyou all for that

Now this is a mistake I do quite a lot. I should just cut to the chase and go for the meetup. This is the part where I dwell a lot. I usually spend a lot of time in talking and messaging while what I should've done is just go for the meetup or everything will just dwindle down the longer it takes. Who knows the other party might've thought the same thing about me because I've never taken much initiative in the meetup.

I want to take up all your advices and change this for the better. I'm curious where this will lead me to I'm thinking about sending an appology to the girl and whatever comes out of it, I leave that up to her. I think that this is all I can do now, not to let my own guilt off my shoulders but because I might've hurt her a little. That message might've been send out of ego. And honestly I allways delete the numbers because I don't want to feel too much invested in them when I feel there is no progression, It's true that I also do that out of my own ego. Sometimes I do feel rejected while that might've never been the case at all .

Don't send an apology, she's a train wreck! Who sends a nasty text like that to someone they've NEVER met and went silence on for a week? A drama queen. Don't bother.

Texting before meeting is not a relationship, no need to apologize. If you are still interested, simply ask her out...But wait, you can't even do that now...she blocked you, in a response to your knee-jerk reaction, remember?

Don't apologize. Look another thing I learned in dating was when you don't them, they don't know you, and they get all upset and defenisve and snarky on you about nothing that is a red flag.

Seriously, this is the type of person who goes on a date then you are in a carwreck or lose your phone or just fall asleep 'cause you know, you have to go to work in the morning. And then when you look at your phone you find 50 hysterical messages followed by hate-filled snark about what a terrible person you are, because you were not glued to your phone waiting for their text.

If she were a rational individual she'd have thought, "Hmm, I haven't spoken to him in over a week, he probably thinks I've lost interest. I see his point, better send him a text apologizing and see if he's still interested." Not her getting all upset, because you chose to move on when she went silent for an entire week. The "thanks a lot" was sarcastic and completely unnecessary.

No, you aren't the one who should have been apologizing. But also realize you don't really need to block someone unless they bring up a red flag. Now that she's brought up a red flag, uh yeah keep her blocked.

Or this my friend will be just the beginning of a serious headache for you. Live and learn, but don't keep repeating mistakes.

P.S. After you've been texting and/or talking on the phone--in fact if it progresses to the phone at all--THEN is when you ask them out. Right there, right then, and do coffee dates in the middle of the day, because that's fairly inexpensive, comfortable for both of you, and from there you can decide if you want to do more. I wince when I see or hear these guys spending big bucks on a date for someone who turns out to look like a "When bad dates happen to good people" on Reddit or some such place.

Just my tips as an OLD old-timer. Yes, I was doing online dating, when online dating wasn't even cool.

Her nasty message to you about being blocked is a red flag. You are free to block her and move on whenever you want - you two never met. Why does she care so much if you're on her friends' list? Major red flag. I wouldn't apologize to her (I would have responded with something like "shrug, no skin off my teeth, good luck to ya") and I DEFINITELY wouldn't meet up with her.

Don't send an apology, she's a train wreck! Who sends a nasty text like that to someone they've NEVER met and went silence on for a week? A drama queen. Don't bother.

I have to say jjkk It does feel uncomfortable now I just hope she doesn't have a evil plan for me

Texting before meeting is not a relationship, no need to apologize. If you are still interested, simply ask her out...But wait, you can't even do that now...she blocked you, in a response to your knee-jerk reaction, remember?

I don't know Wiseman2 it's true that I've also been responsible for it but this is all I can do now. From her pespective I might've come off as rude. Now if she has blocked me or put me out of the equation, then so be it. Whats done is done.

Don't apologize. Look another thing I learned in dating was when you don't them, they don't know you, and they get all upset and defenisve and snarky on you about nothing that is a red flag.

 

Seriously, this is the type of person who goes on a date then you are in a carwreck or lose your phone or just fall asleep 'cause you know, you have to go to work in the morning. And then when you look at your phone you find 50 hysterical messages followed by hate-filled snark about what a terrible person you are, because you were not glued to your phone waiting for their text.

 

If she were a rational individual she'd have thought, "Hmm, I haven't spoken to him in over a week, he probably thinks I've lost interest. I see his point, better send him a text apologizing and see if he's still interested." Not her getting all upset, because you chose to move on when she went silent for an entire week. The "thanks a lot" was sarcastic and completely unnecessary.

 

No, you aren't the one who should have been apologizing. But also realize you don't really need to block someone unless they bring up a red flag. Now that she's brought up a red flag, uh yeah keep her blocked.

 

Or this my friend will be just the beginning of a serious headache for you. Live and learn, but don't keep repeating mistakes.

ParisPaulette that sounds like a serious case of BPD. You're right about this, it does come off as a redflag because fact is: we still don't know eachother. I do want to be cautious with this because me appologising also sounds like her needing constant validation from me.

Agree. Forget this one, just move-there are plenty others to choose from. Maybe be a bit more patient and message a few more girls and meet asap next time.

I don't know Wiseman2 it's true that I've also been responsible for it but this is all I can do now. From her pespective I might've come off as rude. Now if she has blocked me or put me out of the equation, then so be it. Whats done is done.

From what I can tell, she asked you if you wanted to meet up with her. You said yes but never asked her out. You didn't hear from her in a while and then you blocked her.

If this is correct, I can see why she is ticked off!

From what I can tell, she asked you if you wanted to meet up with her. You said yes but never asked her out. You didn't hear from her in a while and then you blocked her.

 

If this is correct, I can see why she is ticked off!

This is true MS Darcy. She asked if I ever wanted to meetup in the near future and I told her I was interested in meeting up. There was some hesitation because of her exams and I was allready making plans for a roadtrip to Venezia. Sounded like we both wanted to be cautious with choosing a date. She asked if I had a girlfriend and I said no I don't want to be that guy. Maybe she allready put me in a catagory? Or was afraid I was someone like that?

In the meantime we messaged quite often and after a while it felt like she responded less and less and I was still invested. I thought nothing to worry about, she's busy with her exams or not in the mood. But a week after her exams I was still hearing nothing from her and thought maybe she wasn't really that interested in me as I thought. Now that I think about it. It's not all about me and I should've atleast tried again and ask her how she's doing. If it still went nowhere only then it might've been best to conclude that it wouldn't lead anywhere.

To be honest, this is a very weird question 6601748]She asked if I had a girlfriend

To be honest, this is a very weird question

 

Unless OP had something on his profile to make her think that he had a girlfriend, it is a weird question. Makes me wonder if she's the sort of woman who thinks that "all men are cheaters" or some nonsense like that. Then again, I haven't been on Tinder (not into hook-ups) but I was under the impression that Tinder was mostly full of single individuals looking for a quick lay.

It was a question that also confused me :s. But no I don't have a single women on any picture. If that were the case then I would understand where she was coming from. =[

At the very least there was a valuable lesson to be learned here and I think going forward you might give a second thought to a preemptive strike like that again.

One year, on the 3rd of July I dropped my phone in the bay. Seriously!

The following day is a holiday and I couldn't get a new phone. 2 1/2 days later, I have a new phone. Along with that several agro messages from some guy I had one meet and greet with. They were disturbing. He was livid and letting me know.

Shame on me that I called him and made it all better. We went out one more time.

I get `I lost my phone' is a sketchy excuse in the scheme of things.

But you have to be very careful because people do actually lose their phones in real life!

He got to see my new shiny phone as proof of my integrity and word.

He ended up being a weirdo anyway.

I should have gone with my gut instinct on this one.

. . yah . . I can say that I should listen to my gut about most of my experiences though.

Someday I'll learn.

Hmmm, I don't think it's a weird question at all! I read somewhere that a high number of tinder users are already in relationships. I just did a quick google, and found 42%. I've also experienced it myself; have had more than a couple of married guys messaging me (I cut them right off once that piece of information dropped). It doesn't sound like you did anything in particular to raise her suspicions, but women have to be cautious. Lots of guys looking for hookups and looking to cheat on their girlfriends.

Maybe she wanted you, as the guy, to take more initiative, and backed off to see if you would? I don't know.

Blocking her could be seen as a bit drastic, rude, and unnecessary.

Sounds like a lot of miscommunication to me.

YIKES, lostlove, I didn't know that the percentage of partnered people on Tinder was so high. That's crazy!!

YIKES, lostlove, I didn't know that the percentage of partnered people on Tinder was so high. That's crazy!!

I know! Very depressing!!!

Here's one article with the statistics:

"the research claims that 30% of Tinder users surveyed are married, while another 12% are in a relationship"

In the future, you need to go for the meetup. If she had exams, and you were going away, would it had hurt to have said

"let's have coffee/ice cream after your exams are done for the day so we can meet before I go away". Next time if there is an interest level, meetup very early on and if its not a match after the meetup, move on. Also, lots of people join Tinder to hook up, so may mean that some people are a little nervous when they have someone else suggest a meetup thinking they want sex.

This is true MS Darcy. She asked if I ever wanted to meetup in the near future and I told her I was interested in meeting up. There was some hesitation because of her exams and I was allready making plans for a roadtrip to Venezia. Sounded like we both wanted to be cautious with choosing a date. She asked if I had a girlfriend and I said no I don't want to be that guy. Maybe she allready put me in a catagory? Or was afraid I was someone like that?

 

In the meantime we messaged quite often and after a while it felt like she responded less and less and I was still invested. I thought nothing to worry about, she's busy with her exams or not in the mood. But a week after her exams I was still hearing nothing from her and thought maybe she wasn't really that interested in me as I thought. Now that I think about it. It's not all about me and I should've atleast tried again and ask her how she's doing. If it still went nowhere only then it might've been best to conclude that it wouldn't lead anywhere.

I still think you are missing the point. You should have said, would you like to go out on X date at Y location? If she hesitated or said after the exams, then I would have followed up after the exams with would you like to go out on Y date at Z location?

You are far too focused on the texting back and forth and not focused on initiating a meet up.

Reinventmyself, abitbroken and MS Darcy you all have made good points and honestly I started to feel guilty. I've send her an apology letter and told her that she didn't need to accept my apology. I was quick to judge her and I shouldn't have done that. That's all I said and wished her well. I think at this point that is all I can do.

But most importantly, I don't want to repeat my mistakes and I hope I can prevent this in the future. I reflected this case on myself and I was quick to judge the situation. I shouldn't have done that.

Ms Darcy and abitbroken I really do need to be more forward and straight to the point in these cases and focus on the meetup not so much on the texting. That is what I lack now. Like said before I should not dwell much in the initial messaging and just cut to chase, set up a date and be specific about it.

I did suggest a place where the distance would be fitting for both of us but I still wasn't specific about when and where and still too much focused on the conversations.