"women perfer men who are within their leagues,men just tend to choose the best in town"

it's just a TV show i watched today and i find it quite interesting to share..

on a street survey,women generally rate themselves(looks) 5-6,while men are actually more confident with a self-rating of 6-7,even some 8s..

and as for boy-friends,those women also choose the ones they think is 5-6,or 7,but they dont go for the 8s or 9s cuz they dont feel secure. however men, without exception,all choose wooping 9s..

lol

and it;s true on my girl friend.she used to date outstanding guys and she hated when there were girls asking him number as if she,the gf, wasnt there. and she's now dating a less-outstanding guy. she said it feels so much better and safer cuz she doesnt think he''s good looking..hehe

I have always been told I date down... but I don't see it, I always find the guys I date very attractive in one way or another, as personality and confidence count for a lot.... but I do believe that feeling secure and comfortable is far more important that dating someone outstanding looking!!

My take on this is that men are traditionaly the assertive one in the relationship, or are expected to be. I would imagine it would be hard to be confident and assertive enough to pursue relationships, while being modest at the same time about your looks and other qualities. I'd imagine a woman that initiated relationships would have results that looked similar to a mans.

Hard to get a catch if you don't consider yourself one.

Gosh, I can totally see this. Some men always rate themselves up, and then turn bitter when the super hot women aren't interested.

Some women I know only date those exciting accomplished guys (doesn't much matter how hot they are, so long as they have a resume of kickassedness) that pretty much have their pick of women. The sad thing is these guys know that there is always another women right around the corner so they've never had to learn relationship skills. When things settle in, or conflict arises, they simply dump and move to the next one. My girlfriends that date these guys are constantly miserable/heartbroken. When I try to push them in the direction of the mellow/stable guy, they think he's 'boring' and won't have anything to do with him.

I've got other girlfriends who simply won't date men unless they are a 9 or 10. There aren't many 9 or 10 men out there, and most of them are gay. So these girls simply don't date.

Sad, funny, sad...no wonder there are so many lonely people.

LOL I agree. My bf is in the same league of attractiveness as I, and he is also on the same financial path, amongst other things. Unfortunately I wouldn't date a man that was less attractive than I, or that made less than me, that had no goals, and that had a weird personality.

I've got other girlfriends who simply won't date men unless they are a 9 or 10. There aren't many 9 or 10 men out there, and most of them are gay. So these girls simply don't date.

 

Sad, funny, sad...no wonder there are so many lonely people.

Um, WHAT? Haha. I was never aware that sexual preference had any influence over attraction. Maybe a want what you can't have scenario?

It makes sense as a general thing. I remember very distinctly, a lesson when I was learning weight training/body building on a simple level.

My friend, who was helping guide me since he had experience in it galore, told me, it was very common for men to overestimate how good of shape/how good they look/how strong they are - when evaluating where they were in terms of their body.

And women....the opposite. We tend to underestimate how good we look/our shape/our fitness.

Watch, and you'll see this trend is pretty prevalent a lot of times. Personal trainers must see this all the time. lol.

Um, WHAT? Haha. I was never aware that sexual preference had any influence over attraction. Maybe a want what you can't have scenario?

These girls like very pretty men. Well put together, smell nice, great skin. I know I'm stereotyping here, so forgive me. But by and large the only men in this small mountain town that put that much effort into their appearance are in the gay community. Almost everyone else just wears flip flops and t-shirts (women too).

These girls like very pretty men. Well put together, smell nice, great skin. I know I'm stereotyping here, so forgive me. But by and large the only men in this small mountain town that put that much effort into their appearance are in the gay community. Almost everyone else just wears flip flops and t-shirts (women too).

It doesn't surprise me in the least that people think that way these days. Culture now seems to push femininity in men as the new 'hot'.

As a male, I do agree with this survey. Men are visual, and we prefer attractive women, or rather women we find attractive. Everyone's taste is different. One man's 9 could be another man's 5.

However, women are choosier because they put more emphasis on other criterias like financial security, social standing, height, fashsion sense, race, etc etc etc.

Yes, men overate themselves and prefer dating up appearance wise.

Women have more criterias so you can say it's even.

and it;s true on my girl friend.she used to date outstanding guys and she hated when there were girls asking him number as if she,the gf, wasnt there. and she's now dating a less-outstanding guy. she said it feels so much better and safer cuz she doesnt think he''s good looking..hehe

Doe this mean that only ratings of 8's and 9's are "outstanding guys?"

it's just a TV show i watched today and i find it quite interesting to share..

on a street survey,women generally rate themselves(looks) 5-6,while men are actually more confident with a self-rating of 6-7,even some 8s..

and as for boy-friends,those women also choose the ones they think is 5-6,or 7,but they dont go for the 8s or 9s cuz they dont feel secure. however men, without exception,all choose wooping 9s..

lol

and it;s true on my girl friend.she used to date outstanding guys and she hated when there were girls asking him number as if she,the gf, wasnt there. and she's now dating a less-outstanding guy. she said it feels so much better and safer cuz she doesnt think he''s good looking..hehe

really? * * * is wrong with me then? I think I'm an 11 and I go for 12's

The way I see it, I can call myself a 10 if I'd like, and that's great for self-esteem, but attraction is in large part one's behavior, and I can't quantify that. I am very confident in myself and like how I look, but that goes beyond any number. I know how to talk to women and get on a woman's good side, and I've come into my own scoop by learning how to do that. Not all men are a high-rated number by a society standard, yet are in meaningful relationships and are capable of experience intimacy, sex, and romance. Numbers mean there is some ideal, some attainment that would require me to reject how attractive I can be within my OWN essence because there is more value in expressing someone else. I only have control over how well I present myself and how much I have taken care of my internal s**t. If someone calls me a 4, so what. I rock, but I can only be the best at who I am.

I also don't believe in leagues. I think there are people of the opposite sex whose beauty we are not used to being around, regular social environment adjustments that would make intimidating beauty become ordinary. A little league baseball player (who owns at the game on his own team) subbing in the major leagues is going to get his a** KICKED because he is not used to being thrown a 100 mph ball at 60 feet away, longer distance between bases, larger park size, and much faster running speeds, but after years of training, he'd be cool. Every major league baseball player started somewhere. I'm sure if I were to hang out a lot with supermodels on a regular basis, then no model, after a while, would be out of my "league". If you want to go for the "big leagues", I suppose you would have to hang in their park. Not saying I can easily approach any woman and PURSUE any woman, but leagues are made up because of movies and pop culture, in my opinion. I've met some really pretty women and am friends with some who I would consider extremely attractive, but I can hang with it more now than before I conditioned myself to their presence. And just because a woman is very beautiful to me does not mean we have similar alignment of wants, needs, and values.

Leagues, to me, are a perverted way to look at attraction. It ignores how the human condition works (to one's ADVANTAGE ), and really strips away opportunities to learn, grow, and adapt because of resignation to contempt. That's quite defeating. Humans are adaptive creatures by nature, and there is nothing fundamentally getting in the way from experiencing the desired sense perceptions.

My two cents.

Doe this mean that only ratings of 8's and 9's are "outstanding guys?"

no point is she'd rather date guys who she thinks is less great,cuz she wont worry all the other admirers.

And I will also add, I think that people who use the numbering system run the risk of ending up really shallow. Both in the sense of not wanting to open up themselves from "lower numbers" and meet different kinds of women and learn to appreciate every woman's unique characteristics, and of having so of high standards that they seek someone who is flawless. If I'm given lemons, I try to make lemonade, instead of just tossing them out if they're not perfect, voluptuous lemons.

I'm just looking for somebody that's got their head on right so I don't really go by the numbering system. At the same time, I would like to date someone that I'm at least attracted to. But above all else, my biggest concern of all is that we have to be able to talk to each other. When you get older and the looks fade, the weight starts to pack on and gets harder to take off, where would we be if we can't communicate? If we can't have a simple conversation? That's what really matters at the end of the day.

I don't really get all the rating stuff. The people I'm attracted to are 10's to me.

I don't really get all the rating stuff. The people I'm attracted to are 10's to me.

Amen! Was about to say that.

I rate myself about a 5 or 6 at best. If I'm overrating, that's kind of scary...

Men do go for better looking girls, but they don't necessarily get them. I agree tho, women are way more intimidated by good looking men than men are by good looking women. Personally, looks are important to me, I'd date people who I can have great sex with and I don't think I can have that with someone's money or status. Those don't exactly get me wet down there!

I'm just looking for somebody that's got their head on right so I don't really go by the numbering system. At the same time, I would like to date someone that I'm at least attracted to. But above all else, my biggest concern of all is that we have to be able to talk to each other. When you get older and the looks fade, the weight starts to pack on and gets harder to take off, where would we be if we can't communicate? If we can't have a simple conversation? That's what really matters at the end of the day.

Yes. That's right, and that is how I feel also.

I am a keen observer of all these wonderful heterosexual mating rituals, which is one of the reasons I like ENA so much: people are far more honest here about what's going on in their head/heart/naughty bits than, say, at the office.

Living by the very practical and helpful principle of always paying attention to what people do, and not so much to what they say, I have noticed an interesting number of things as I have grown up.

- It is rare that a frumpy, oily, unemployed, video-game obsessed, average-looking woman will moan and complain and get down in the dumps because she is not getting hit on by male underwear models. It is relatively more common that her male counterpart will wallow and shriek about "how shallow women are" because he is not getting any attention from female teen actress-lookalikes. (see: three or four daily ENA threads).

- My three female best friends are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, highly educated and possess incredibly layered personalities. They get hit on *constantly* and I am yet to meet a straight guy who doesn't want them. This is not an exaggeration. The three of them could literally walk up to whoever the hell they wanted and pick them as their partner, no restrictions whatsoever. Each one of them has broken up with a long-term boyfriend of their same age, who was very cute and very sweet and treated them very well, and gotten together with a much older (40+) ugly arrogant self-important jerk who is all about "drive" and "ambition".

- People will always try to come up with pseudo-scientific trends and traits differentiating between men and women when it comes to dating, love, relationships, work, family, sport and whatever. The scientifically-backed bottom-line is that none of this has anything to do with gender whatsoever, and everything to do with power -- real or perceived. Men AND women who perceive themselves to be in positions of relative powerlessness will tend to act in ways that foster compromise, unspoken facts, risk avoidance, and what may seem like emotional manipulation. Men AND women who perceive themselves to be in a position of power tend to act in direct, assertive, risk-taking manners.

It's not because X has a penis and Y has ovaries. It's because X has an entire socio-cultural system behind his back telling him what he deserves, and Y has one telling her what she needs. As the system gets (slightly, slowly) less gendered, Xs and Ys end up behaving in the same bizarre odd counterproductive ways

I am a keen observer of all these wonderful heterosexual mating rituals, which is one of the reasons I like ENA so much: people are far more honest here about what's going on in their head/heart/naughty bits than, say, at the office.

 

 

really? i always think people here are too nice,while the reality is way crueler.

really? i always think people here are too nice,while the reality is way crueler.

That's true, although we try to come up with solutions. In the real world, most people don't try to come up with solutions, they only care about themselves.

Someone wants to get laid...