"women perfer men who are within their leagues,men just tend to choose the best in town"

[Fudgie]

 

Don't you think one of the reasons is because some women can be too picky?

 

Nah. I don't.

 

I've seen nasty, disgusting, HORRIBLE men end up with women...without being rich too. The single men that I know of here aren't bad at all.

There are people out there for everyone.

[kirk]

Nah. I don't.

 

So, basically, the majority of men on this forum who are having problems attracting woman have only themselves to blame (using your ABC points as examples)?

 

The single men that I know of here aren't bad at all.

 

They're not, which is why I honestly find it hard to believe there are so many of them.

 

There are people out there for everyone.

 

I don't believe that.

[Cognitive_Canine]

So, basically, the majority of men on this forum who are having problems attracting woman have only themselves to blame (using your ABC points as examples)?

.

 

Blaming most women vs. blaming one man for an inability for that one man to get a date. Which one seems more realistic?

[greywolf]

So, basically, the majority of men on this forum who are having problems attracting woman have only themselves to blame (using your ABC points as examples)?

 

If I'm looking for a relationship and I fail over and over again, I have no one to blame but myself.

[Fudgie]

So, basically, the majority of men on this forum who are having problems attracting woman have only themselves to blame (using your ABC points as examples)?

 

They're not, which is why I honestly find it hard to believe there are so many of them.

 

 

I don't believe that.

 

Well, I do believe that. I've seen it happen. The thing is, you have to GET OUT there and make it happen.

 

And you can't blame women for why guys are single. There are SO many different women out there, it's not like we are all the same and you can blame us when you're single. It doesn't work that way.

 

I feel the same way about women being single too. It's not to say that they are bad people, but they may be not getting themselves out there enough to meet someone.

[kirk]

Blaming most women vs. blaming one man for an inability for that one man to get a date. Which one seems more realistic?

 

The latter.

 

My point being is that the issues some men on this forum may be having may not necessarily be because of them. Fudgie's ABC examples only pointed out problems with the men, not taking into account other factors. Though they were only examples so perhaps I read into them a bit too much.

 

There are a lot of women who are very fussy when it comes to their preferred partner, but don't get ridiculed for it. Replace "women" with "men" and it's a whole different story.

 

Well, I do believe that. I've seen it happen. The thing is, you have to GET OUT there and make it happen.

 

And you can't blame women for why guys are single. There are SO many different women out there, it's not like we are all the same and you can blame us when you're single. It doesn't work that way.

 

I feel the same way about women being single too. It's not to say that they are bad people, but they may be not getting themselves out there enough to meet someone.

 

I'm not saying these men (or women) don't have issues they need to sort out. I'm just saying there may be other, external factors in regards to their lack of success.

 

EDIT

 

I'm not very good with discussing topics like this so I'll just shut up now.

[Cognitive_Canine]

The latter.

 

My point being is that the issues some men on this forum may be having may not necessarily be because of them. Fudgie's ABC examples only pointed out problems with the men, not taking into account other factors. Though they were only examples so perhaps I read into them a bit too much.

 

There are a lot of women who are very fussy when it comes to their preferred partner, but don't get ridiculed for it. Replace "women" with "men" and it's a whole different story.

 

There are probably instances of this but I don't entertain double standards and would quickly tell a person when they are being too picky (regardless of sex).

 

And, I'm the kind of person who has a very strong internal locus of control. If I was having an issue, I only blame myself unless it was someone directly doing something malicious with my life.

 

I've written about it before but I don't exactly have the best social skills. I've had to identify and adjust my habits to be more normal. I could have blamed the world for not accepting me but instead I changed a bit and made life easier for myself.

[Fudgie]

The latter.

 

My point being is that the issues some men on this forum may be having may not necessarily be because of them. Fudgie's ABC examples only pointed out problems with the men, not taking into account other factors. Though they were only examples so perhaps I read into them a bit too much.

 

There are a lot of women who are very fussy when it comes to their preferred partner, but don't get ridiculed for it. Replace "women" with "men" and it's a whole different story.

 

 

 

I'm not saying these men (or women) don't have issues they need to sort out. I'm just saying there may be other, external factors in regards to their lack of success.

 

EDIT

 

I'm not very good with discussing topics like this so I'll just shut up now.

 

We all have factors (obstacles) within ourselves that can make it a little more difficult to get a date. This goes for women and men.

For example, maybe someone looks below average...maybe someone has some bad habits....or has bad health problems.

 

But none of that dooms them. I think it's kind of BS to be yelling at the opposite gender because they won't date you because of one of those factors. It's all about getting up and finding someone who CAN deal with them and wants to be with you.

 

I have no problem with either side having "standards". If you read my advice to people on this forum, both women and men, you'll see that I always say the same thing: look on the inside first. Because that is the best shot you have at finding a good partner for you.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Haven't dated a rich guy. Honestly, it's never a factor for me. A guy with goals, yes. But I've had a lot of ridiculously rich guy friends that I would never date.

[kirk]

I have no problem with either side having "standards". If you read my advice to people on this forum, both women and men, you'll see that I always say the same thing: look on the inside first. Because that is the best shot you have at finding a good partner for you.

 

Fair enough, I can't say I disagree. In fact, I very much agree. It's quite often internal factors that are detrimental to our chances of dating. I was just trying to acknowledge the fact that's it's not always the unsuccessful person with the problem.

 

Me? I just choose not open myself up to a woman. 'tis not worth the risk.

[newwave]

Well, I do believe that. I've seen it happen. The thing is, you have to GET OUT there and make it happen.

 

And you can't blame women for why guys are single. There are SO many different women out there, it's not like we are all the same and you can blame us when you're single. It doesn't work that way.

 

I feel the same way about women being single too. It's not to say that they are bad people, but they may be not getting themselves out there enough to meet someone.

 

Yep this. I see a few women on this site that bemoan the lack of men, but when asked where they meet guys they say they don't or just do online. This is the wrong attitude. I've found that when I'm not actively looking I don't find anyone, but when I look, I find several. Contrary to what people think, you have to seek out people as you get older.

[newwave]

Haven't dated a rich guy. Honestly, it's never a factor for me. A guy with goals, yes. But I've had a lot of ridiculously rich guy friends that I would never date.

 

I once dated a guy with lots of money but not sure if he would be considered rich. He had a huge house including a basement studio. He had a huge collection of music and everything. Several fancy cars. He owned a successful security business and before that was a successful music producer and before that was a successful actor who guest starred on many popular shows (including a show I own complete on DVD). He went on vacations all the time, etc. He was also a self absorbed jerk who thought little of insulting my looks. He would put me on a scale and if weighed more than 100 pounds would order salads for me. He was also trying to date my best friend. At first I thought it was cool to date a guy with money, but after meeting him I realized money wasn't important.

[avman]

Thread re-opened.

[BriarRose]

I once dated a guy with lots of money but not sure if he would be considered rich. He had a huge house including a basement studio. He had a huge collection of music and everything. Several fancy cars. He owned a successful security business and before that was a successful music producer and before that was a successful actor who guest starred on many popular shows (including a show I own complete on DVD). He went on vacations all the time, etc. He was also a self absorbed jerk who thought little of insulting my looks. He would put me on a scale and if weighed more than 100 pounds would order salads for me. He was also trying to date my best friend. At first I thought it was cool to date a guy with money, but after meeting him I realized money wasn't important.

 

That's terrible. But that doesn't mean just because someone has money that they will treat you like that. Many poor people are abusive, too.

[newwave]

That's terrible. But that doesn't mean just because someone has money that they will treat you like that. Many poor people are abusive, too.

 

True, I've met all types of people who treated people like dirt. It just so happened this guy had money and was a jerk.

[LightbulbSun]

I once dated a guy with lots of money but not sure if he would be considered rich. He had a huge house including a basement studio. He had a huge collection of music and everything. Several fancy cars. He owned a successful security business and before that was a successful music producer and before that was a successful actor who guest starred on many popular shows (including a show I own complete on DVD). He went on vacations all the time, etc. He was also a self absorbed jerk who thought little of insulting my looks. He would put me on a scale and if weighed more than 100 pounds would order salads for me. He was also trying to date my best friend. At first I thought it was cool to date a guy with money, but after meeting him I realized money wasn't important.

 

Sadly, a lot of guys think they can 'buy women.' I see it all the time on another forum I won't name. Guys think that money is the solution to all of their dating problems; however, they don't recognize that the unappealing qualities that kept them from getting a woman BEFORE they got rich, are what is going to drive the woman away eventually.

 

I listed Stephen King as an influence because I look up to him. He's not all that attractive, even as a young man, and when he and his wife got together, he was dirt poor. That is why I named him as an example of someone who married outside of his league, because the dude has an awesome personality, and that makes up for any flaws he might have in the looks department.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Sadly, a lot of guys think they can 'buy women.' I see it all the time on another forum I won't name. Guys think that money is the solution to all of their dating problems; however, they don't recognize that the unappealing qualities that kept them from getting a woman BEFORE they got rich, are what is going to drive the woman away eventually.

 

I listed Stephen King as an influence because I look up to him. He's not all that attractive, even as a young man, and when he and his wife got together, he was dirt poor. That is why I named him as an example of someone who married outside of his league, because the dude has an awesome personality, and that makes up for any flaws he might have in the looks department.

 

The thing is, some women can be bought (as can some men) but they won't be quality.

 

I really dislike the show "millionaire matchmaker" because of the premise.....however, it's living proof that money isn't enough. A few men on there have been trying for years to get women and are completely loaded. However, the flaws they have (and, some of them aren't even that bad. just little things here and there) make it hard for them to get women.

 

Also, my grandfather had the pleasure of meeting stephen king at an All-star baseball game. He said he was a strange but interesting man. This was after the car accident though, so he was a bit off.

[LightbulbSun]

But regardless, if you like a girl and she likes you, who cares what rating you are or she is? That's the thing that's offensive about throwing people in a box...women get offended if you rate them, but it's JUST as offensive to rate men and say "OK, you go off with this girl, because you both rate the same"...how is that not offensive?

 

Again, leagues don't exist, only preferences. And if someone thinks you're out of their league, then you'd be better off finding someone who doesn't feel that way.

[johndoe02]

I've changed a lot from when I first started college to now (I've graduated, looking for a job). My attitude on girls have changed a lot. There really are no leagues to me in terms of attractiveness, what really matters is compatibility, what life experiences you share (so you can relate to each other better), and kind of being "cut from the same cloth". It's definitely possible to date people from different backgrounds than you, but I do feel that if there's something shared, it makes it a lot easier to get involved. The current girl I'm talking to (we aren't official yet) shares a lot of these with me, and I didn't realize that until I started talking to her a lot more and got to know her better. I'm still young so maybe I don't understand all of it, but I do feel like you should be naturally attracted to those that kind of have that "same cloth", sometimes you can tell within the first 5 minutes you talk to someone if they are, and I'm not talking about just relationships, but even friendships. That won't make or break the relationship, but I think it helps a whole lot in keeping it together.

At least, to me, I feel that people should be looking for that over attractiveness, when it comes to a long-term relationship that'll actually last. Looks can only go so far in a partnership, there can be a spark but it won't go far. One day, both of you will be old, out of shape, and your looks will be gone. Will the spark still be there?

 

To me, looks don't even matter that much anymore. Of course, I'd be lying if I said they don't matter at all, they do, but only at a very basic level. If a girl proves she's down to earth, friendly, and doesn't come with baggage, that goes a much longer way for me than if she's a "10".