"women perfer men who are within their leagues,men just tend to choose the best in town"

[The Wire]

well..........ever wonder why a 10 would like to go out with you? if your 5/6..

 

Maybe the '10' thought she was also a '10'. Seriously, this numbering scale thing really is nonsense.

[Day_Walker]

Perception of our own attractiveness is a determining factor on the people that we find attractive. I think that is all that the survey said, people who view themselves at being less attractive go for a less attractive partner. I think that is true of both sexes and not just men or women. Men may strive for 9s and 10s but just because they go after that doesnt mean he will end up with it.

[missberlee]

I saw a 10 dating a 6 before so it is possible. He's probably the most gorgeous guy alive and she was just this short, average looking girl, they have great chemistry though. Now thinking about it, I think I rated my guy a little low, maybe he should be a 9 instead of an 8.5. He dated a girl who is probably a 7/8 before so guys don't necessary go for 9s all the time. I would've rated myself 10 but too bad I'm short, if I have longer legs then I would. lol.

[Cognitive_Canine]

To him, that 6 was probably a 10. I've had girls tell me I could do better than my boyfriend but he's a 10 in my eyes. I'm sure some people see me as ranging anywhere from 1-10. But, the only rating that matters is my boyfriends.

 

I don't like the rating system, honestly. It's too subjective. There are a lot of "10's" I don't like and a lot of overlooked guys I just die for.

[LightbulbSun]

Seriously, what is with this sense of entitlement some guys have? I have seen some guys here saying exactly the same thing. "I'm attracted to pretty and slim women and I want to just ask them out, but I don't want "some shallow girl" who cares about me being overweight and not playing sports". Just doesn't make any sense.

 

I guess you're talking about me.

 

First off, I'm not that overweight. Secondly, I do do some sports (yoga is a sport, or at least a physical activity.)

 

I don't blame women who are fit, who only want to date a fit man. That is why I'm trying to get fit, or at least improve my eating habits, because I A.) want to be healthier, and B.) want someone who reflects that positive attitude.

 

I am overweight, but I walk to school and back without breaking a sweat. I also am in very good health. I hate the attitude that just because I'm a little round around the middle, I don't have a heart...or that my heart or body isn't healthy.

[newwave]

I have to agree with many of the posts. I think men in general have this entitlement attitude of they can get any girl. We see it here and in real life too. We see overweight guys who are unattractive (not talking anyone specific) think they can get anyone. I once dated a slob of a guy who thought he was an 8 or 9. The reality is he was a 4 at best and more likely a 2. He was 5'8, over 350 pounds, a con artist and just a nasty guy. Yet I've seen this loser on online sites saying he's a "business owner" (I suppose, since he's a pimp) and saying he's good looking. Btw I did NOT meet him online.

 

I will admit I've dated below my standards and even the guy I want really is below my standards. When I am dressed up nicely I am easily a 9-10. Even not I'm above average. That's not to brag just stating the fact. However I've suffered from low self esteem a lot because guys often rejected me because I didn't look like Pamela Anderson. Unfortunately as women we are told to take anyone while men are told to go for what they want. This is true in everything, not just dating. Women in careers are told this too.

[Lamour detruit]

I have to agree with many of the posts. I think men in general have this entitlement attitude of they can get any girl. We see it here and in real life too. We see overweight guys who are unattractive (not talking anyone specific) think they can get anyone.

 

Same goes for plenty of women who have a sense of entitlement regardless if it's deserved or not. They believe just because they are females, they should be able to get any guy they wish, and the guy should treat her like a queen. Even if she is grossly overweight, does not take care of herself, etc. I wouldn't just put that on men.

[newwave]

Same goes for plenty of women who have a sense of entitlement regardless if it's deserved or not. They believe just because they are females, they should be able to get any guy they wish, and the guy should treat her like a queen. Even if she is grossly overweight, does not take care of herself, etc. I wouldn't just put that on men.

 

You're right, but I was speaking from my personal experience. Years ago I met this really gross woman and she would cry because she couldn't get a date. However she never brushed her teeth, didn't work, and was obese. She would reject guys just like her and want the hot guys. I've had to tell her that they would never pick her. Also, in general I've seen many women expect the man to spend all his money on her. That I think is outdated because if women can work they can buy the things they want.

[cursedgirl]

I will admit I've dated below my standards and even the guy I want really is below my standards. When I am dressed up nicely I am easily a 9-10. Even not I'm above average. That's not to brag just stating the fact. However I've suffered from low self esteem a lot because guys often rejected me because I didn't look like Pamela Anderson. Unfortunately as women we are told to take anyone while men are told to go for what they want. This is true in everything, not just dating. Women in careers are told this too.

i dont understand when you say you can easily be a 9/10 but guys reject you for not looking like Pamela Anderson?

[LightbulbSun]

Pamela Anderson isn't that attractive. All that plastic makes her very, very ugly. You don't know what's real and what's fake.

[newwave]

i dont understand when you say you can easily be a 9/10 but guys reject you for not looking like Pamela Anderson?

 

Yep I've had that happen. I have a more exotic look (dark hair, eyes, and skin) but because I'm not plastic or blonde I've been rejected.

[BriarRose]

I think that men want an attractive, warm, self-assured woman - she doesn't have to look like a goddess or only women who looked like goddesses would have bf's. When I was younger (like 20 years ago), I could probably have been considered "hot". I had no trouble getting men. I did have trouble keeping them. And I know it had nothing to do with my looks. I was insecure and damaged from things in my life.

[BriarRose]

Yep I've had that happen. I have a more exotic look (dark hair, eyes, and skin) but because I'm not plastic or blonde I've been rejected.

 

I can assure you, not all men want a plastic blonde. Many men love dark, exotic women. This I can promise you!

[newwave]

I can assure you, not all men want a plastic blonde. Many men love dark, exotic women. This I can promise you!

 

Yes they do and I've had many guys. I'm glad those guys rejected me because they were all about the looks and probably would have dumped me if we married.

[Sparkly Eyes]

I guess you're talking about me.

 

First off, I'm not that overweight. Secondly, I do do some sports (yoga is a sport, or at least a physical activity.)

 

I don't blame women who are fit, who only want to date a fit man. That is why I'm trying to get fit, or at least improve my eating habits, because I A.) want to be healthier, and B.) want someone who reflects that positive attitude

 

I am overweight, but I walk to school and back without breaking a sweat. I also am in very good health. I hate the attitude that just because I'm a little round around the middle, I don't have a heart...or that my heart or body isn't healthy.

 

Well I quoted you when in the last sentences....I didn't say you are unhealthy. You just said before what you are attracted to and you called girls who want almost the same thing shallow.

 

I think that men want an attractive, warm, self-assured woman - she doesn't have to look like a goddess or only women who looked like goddesses would have bf's. When I was younger (like 20 years ago), I could probably have been considered "hot". I had no trouble getting men. I did have trouble keeping them. And I know it had nothing to do with my looks. I was insecure and damaged from things in my life.

Not all men want the same thing, there are a lot of men who solely go for looks or have that as their main criteria. But not all men are like that either. In fact, I think many are way more forgiving about our flaws than we are. At least that has been the case with the men I dated and I've been the shallower person in my relationships.

[LightbulbSun]

I had to quote Cognitive Canine here:

 

If you wouldn't date opposite gender version of you, your standards are too high.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by opposite gender version of me. Do you mean an artsy chick? Someone who's really musical? Someone who looks nerdy and is a bit chubby?

 

I'm a bit confused by this statement, because I don't know whether you mean personality traits or physical traits. And if it's physical traits, how come I always see mismatched couples, in terms of looks?

 

If an average looking girl wants to date Taylor Lautner, then she's being unrealistic, too.

[BriarRose]

Not all men want the same thing, there are a lot of men who solely go for looks or have that as their main criteria. But not all men are like that either. In fact, I think many are way more forgiving about our flaws than we are. At least that has been the case with the men I dated and I've been the shallower person in my relationships.

 

That was my point - that not all men are looking for a super model, that you don't have to be beautiful to have a bf (although that would certainly improve one's chances).

[LightbulbSun]

That was my point - that not all men are looking for a super model, that you don't have to be beautiful to have a bf (although that would certainly improve one's chances).

 

I get criticized for my preferences a lot, but I don't want a supermodel, either. I just want someone I find pretty.

 

It seems like that gets misinterpreted A LOT around here.

[BriarRose]

I get criticized for my preferences a lot, but I don't want a supermodel, either. I just want someone I find pretty.

 

It seems like that gets misinterpreted A LOT around here.

 

I would think all men want someone pretty, nothing wrong with that. The problem lies when people aim for people significantly more attractive than themselves. Then they say, "I can't get dates". They have every right to do this, but then they can't complain.

[Fudgie]

I get criticized for my preferences a lot, but I don't want a supermodel, either. I just want someone I find pretty.

 

It seems like that gets misinterpreted A LOT around here.

 

That's all you gotta do, find someone that you find pretty.

 

As for people criticizing you, well, keep this in mind (quoting CognitiveCanine here): "if you would not date the opposite-gender version of yourself, then your standards are too high." Perhaps people feel that you're breaking this?

 

I like that rule a lot.

[LightbulbSun]

That's all you gotta do, find someone that you find pretty.

 

As for people criticizing you, well, keep this in mind (quoting CognitiveCanine here): "if you would not date the opposite-gender version of yourself, then your standards are too high." Perhaps people feel that you're breaking this?

 

I like that rule a lot.

 

The problem is I have a hard time judging how attractive I am. I mean, girls I find utterly repulsive (massively overweight) have made fun of my looks, and stereotypically pretty girls have flirted with me. So I dunno, maybe I'm a geek, but a good looking one?

 

My biggest problem, though, lies in my social anxiety. Because if I can't APPROACH these girls, due to how pretty I find them, how in the world am I supposed to have a conversation with them and find out if we have anything in common?

 

That's kind of like what happened in the "Creepy thread" I started a few mins ago. I didn't find that girl who made me horny attractive until I found out that we like the same movies, like the same kind of food, and that she is kind of musical. I actually didn't notice her until I sat down and had a conversation with her...then she suddenly became more attractive than the other girl in class (that I said looked like a celebrity), simply because...I actually know I have something in common with this one! And then I noticed her hot body, and pretty face, and...etc.

 

Like I said in the other thread, I certainly hope I didn't screw all that up. Because she is someone I'd like to get to know better.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I had to quote Cognitive Canine here:

 

 

 

I'm not sure what you mean by opposite gender version of me. Do you mean an artsy chick? Someone who's really musical? Someone who looks nerdy and is a bit chubby?

 

I'm a bit confused by this statement, because I don't know whether you mean personality traits or physical traits. And if it's physical traits, how come I always see mismatched couples, in terms of looks?

 

If an average looking girl wants to date Taylor Lautner, then she's being unrealistic, too.

 

I mean physically and also attitude.

 

If a 40 year old man who lives with his mother (out of laziness, not being laid off), doesn't own a car, doesn't take good care of himself, hasn't aged well wouldn't date a woman in the exact same position...his standards are too high.

[LightbulbSun]

I mean physically and also attitude.

 

If a 40 year old man who lives with his mother (out of laziness, not being laid off), doesn't own a car, doesn't take good care of himself, hasn't aged well wouldn't date a woman in the exact same position...his standards are too high.

 

Okay, but what about a 28 year old man who has never been on a date, has an 18 year old mentality (or young at heart personality), lives on his own, goes to school full time and doesn't work, isn't ready for kids yet, looks young and is often mistaken for being an 18 year old anyways, and is losing weight through exercise (getting fit?) Would he be better off with another 28 year old, who's finished school, has a job, wants a family and wants to get married, and requires financial support?

 

Wouldn't said 28 year old be better off dating someone 10 years younger and also who is a full time college student and doesn't work, since they have more in common?

 

And if you want to get into body types, if said 28 year old is losing weight and is chubby, not overweight, and attracts women who are generally skinnier than he is, does that mean that his standards are too high, or their standards are too low?

[missberlee]

i dont understand when you say you can easily be a 9/10 but guys reject you for not looking like Pamela Anderson?

 

I second this, how can you be a 9/10 and not looking like Pamela Anderson. I think your rating system might be a little off. Besides, I don't think Pamela Anderson is all that hot, she's probably an 8 on my scale.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Why would an 18 year old bother with someone older but not anymore accomplished? Standards are too high if you wouldn't date someone as overweight as you are.