Jump to content

"women perfer men who are within their leagues,men just tend to choose the best in town"

cursedgirl

By cursedgirl
in Dating Advice

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 393
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Fudgie Grand Master

Fudgie

Posted
Posted

I thought you were looking for a relationship, Lightbulb, not just sex. I'm confused now...

 

I lack all those things you mentioned but I'm sure I'll have some of them someday, just not now. I'd like to think that my boyfriend is with me because he loves me, not because of superficial traits.

Link to comment
LightbulbSun Rising Star

LightbulbSun

Posted
Posted

Well, my sex drive is going crazy at the moment. I'm even having a hard time keeping boners down whenever I see a pretty/hot girl at college. My sex drive is actually higher than 10 years ago, and did I mention that I'm going crazy?

 

There's only so much porn can do. I need an actual living, breathing woman in my bed in order to feel completely satisfied.

 

So right now, sex is the priority. The only problem is that I don't look like a player, or act like a player. So I can't just get random sex. I don't even like sports, so I can't pretend I'm a jock. If I acted like the stereotypical player, looking like I do, women would write me off as a creep.

Link to comment
t3nder_v1ttl3s Rookie

t3nder_v1ttl3s

Posted
Posted

I thought this was pretty insightful. What I found interesting was the fact that these women left seemingly good looking men their own age for older men who from the poster's perspective anyway are less attractive in almost every way. It really makes you wonder what these women are really after and what it is they really want.

Link to comment
t3nder_v1ttl3s Rookie

t3nder_v1ttl3s

Posted
Posted
Well, my sex drive is going crazy at the moment. I'm even having a hard time keeping boners down whenever I see a pretty/hot girl at college. My sex drive is actually higher than 10 years ago, and did I mention that I'm going crazy?

 

There's only so much porn can do. I need an actual living, breathing woman in my bed in order to feel completely satisfied.

 

So right now, sex is the priority. The only problem is that I don't look like a player, or act like a player. So I can't just get random sex. I don't even like sports, so I can't pretend I'm a jock. If I acted like the stereotypical player, looking like I do, women would write me off as a creep.

 

Honestly Lightbulb, I've been feeling kind of the same way. Part of my problem is some women say accusatory things to me as if they are suggesting they think I am a player or maybe I only want one thing. I've picked up on this tone a couple of times. I have no idea where that vibe could come from because nothing could be further from the truth. I don't have the self confidence to be a player.

 

But I am starting to consider the whole 'one thing' thing just because of human nature and because loving and caring about someone seems to be too hard and seems to turn too many women off. A lot of them seem to want you to want them but they don't want you to fall in love with them. They actually seem to get turned off once they see that you are actually falling for them. And love is what I really would prefer. But maybe if I get the abs I can at least have the sex huh?

Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Collaborator

Sparkly Eyes

Posted
Posted
I thought you were looking for a relationship, Lightbulb, not just sex. I'm confused now...

 

I lack all those things you mentioned but I'm sure I'll have some of them someday, just not now. I'd like to think that my boyfriend is with me because he loves me, not because of superficial traits.

 

Honestly in my experience, for most men (and a lot of women if not most), sex comes first. I don't think it's only because of human nature that we feel that way. It's also due to the very sexualized society that we live in. You're never blamed or feel ashamed if you've never been in love, but you are ridiculed if you haven't had sex. It's ridiculous! Even our romantic movies nowadays are more about sex than romance. Of course people are going to be affected by this culture and have sex as their priority.

Link to comment
Fudgie Grand Master

Fudgie

Posted
Posted
Honestly in my experience, for most men (and a lot of women if not most), sex comes first. I don't think it's only because of human nature that we feel that way. It's also due to the very sexualized society that we live in. You're never blamed or feel ashamed if you've never been in love, but you are ridiculed if you haven't had sex. It's ridiculous! Even our romantic movies nowadays are more about sex than romance. Of course people are going to be affected by this culture and have sex as their priority.

 

I suppose you're right. You're definitely right about the whole "Not ridiculed if you haven't fallen in love, but ridiculed if you haven't had sex yet." Gahhh double standard.

 

My boyfriend and I are romantic but do not have sex due to health reasons and low libidos on BOTH ends. I'm coming close to a year since I last had it with him. I have been told (not on ENA, thank goodness) elsewhere that our relationship is pretty much DOOMED to fail because we don't have sex or that somehow we are less "valid" as a couple because of our choice not to have sex, or that somehow we are "weird". Say what?

 

Everything is so sexualized, it's always "sex this, sex that". Too much emphasis, if you ask me. Makes people lose sight of what is important, as compatibility as a couple can't be measured simply by sexual chemistry.

Link to comment
missberlee Apprentice

missberlee

Posted
Posted

If you see a hot looking guy on the street, then you look at his girlfriend and you go "Oh!" that doesn't sound too good, isn't it? Personally, I would not want to date someone better looking than I am because then I will always have to worry he's finding someone new, because he could. Granted, I am satisfied with how I look and the guy I'm seeing is good looking himself. If I have to rate how I look, I would say I'm a 9. If I have to rate how my guy looks, I would say he's an 8.5. That's perfect to me.

Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

Posted
Posted

It's called being exposed to too much internet porn at a young age. haha. Honestly, the guys who are the worst off when it comes to women are the ones who have the highest standards for women (as far as looks).

 

I know far too many personal examples and it's kind of sad. One of my guy friends will only ask out 9's and 10's (even though he is very overweight, has a unibrow, and doesn't take care of himself whatsoever). And, he cares nothing for brains either even though he's quite intelligent himself. He will never get a gf with his attitude yet likes to constantly blame women for their shallowness.

Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Collaborator

Sparkly Eyes

Posted
Posted
It's called being exposed to too much internet porn at a young age. haha. Honestly, the guys who are the worst off when it comes to women are the ones who have the highest standards for women (as far as looks).

 

I know far too many personal examples and it's kind of sad. One of my guy friends will only ask out 9's and 10's (even though he is very overweight, has a unibrow, and doesn't take care of himself whatsoever). And, he cares nothing for brains either even though he's quite intelligent himself. He will never get a gf with his attitude yet likes to constantly blame women for their shallowness.

 

Seriously, what is with this sense of entitlement some guys have? I have seen some guys here saying exactly the same thing. "I'm attracted to pretty and slim women and I want to just ask them out, but I don't want "some shallow girl" who cares about me being overweight and not playing sports". Just doesn't make any sense.

Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Collaborator

Sparkly Eyes

Posted
Posted
If you wouldn't date opposite gender version of you, your standards are too high.

 

Or at least if you don't want to date them, realize that those pretty girls who reject you are just like you and if you think they are shallow then you are shallow too. At least they are in good shape themselves and want the same.

Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Collaborator

Sparkly Eyes

Posted
Posted
This is an awesome way to think of it, lol.

I've had dreams of meeting my "opposite gender of me" and being stupid in love.

 

lol, I probably wouldn't wanna date my male version. I'm a very skeptical person (which I like about myself) and a little pessimistic at times, although I like to think of myself more as realistic. I like to be with a more hopeful, optimistic person that can balance me out a little.

Link to comment
BriarRose Community Regular

BriarRose

Posted
Posted
If you see a hot looking guy on the street, then you look at his girlfriend and you go "Oh!" that doesn't sound too good, isn't it? Personally, I would not want to date someone better looking than I am because then I will always have to worry he's finding someone new, because he could. Granted, I am satisfied with how I look and the guy I'm seeing is good looking himself. If I have to rate how I look, I would say I'm a 9. If I have to rate how my guy looks, I would say he's an 8.5. That's perfect to me.

 

I agree, I am the same way. I am about a 5/6, but I once dated a 10 and it was a nightmare. Just constant drama and competition.

Link to comment
Fudgie Grand Master

Fudgie

Posted
Posted
well..........ever wonder why a 10 would like to go out with you? if your 5/6..

 

Maybe he liked her personality?

 

I've dated a "10" before. Didn't work out but it wasn't because of his looks or whatever.

 

I don't know how I am on the "number" scale, honestly. People have rated me anywhere from 4 to 9. I tend to get higher "ratings" from older people though, and the lowest come from my peers.

Link to comment
Philos Enthusiast

Philos

Posted
Posted

I don't know. I've been rated from 6s up to an 8.5 once lol. I think 6-7 is the average and that's fine. I honestly would be happy as hell to end up with any girl thats a 6-7. I'm attracted to the types that most guys aren't though. I find glasses to be really really hot, and I don't like particularly skinny or short girls (whereas a lot of guys do for some reason).

 

The best way I can tell my own personal attraction to someone is to look at her face and if I like it, and then imagine hugging her.

 

A lot, lot, ton of girls have nice faces (and I find my attraction to faces grows as I get to know almost all women), and then I couldn't stand to hug a little tiny frail person! I want someone I can bear hug lol. Not too big or not too small I guess. Probably a 1/3rd of girls are too tiny (I'm 6' 2" too so).

Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

Posted
Posted
i cant even image a male version of me,looking wise. how'd this work?!

as for personality...i think i'd go with someone more optimistic than myself.

 

I don't mean "you with an X chromosone", I mean a guy with the same general appeal of face and body. And, I don't mean the exact same personality as some like to date complimentary personality types.

 

If you're out of shape, but wouldn't date others at the same level as out of shape as you, your standards are too high. If you don't keep your hair neat, tidy, and fashionable yet expect a man with a sharp haircut and great care in aesthetics, your standards are too high.

Link to comment
ProtestTheHero Enthusiast

ProtestTheHero

Posted
Posted

lol...yeah, I suppose there are some trends. Most guys I know do tend to overrate themselves than not.

 

Which is interesting, because as much as I'd like to think I'm a "normal" guy, if you asked me to rate myself on a number scale I would give you something in the 2-4 range -- not the 5 - 8, so I guess I get to play the role of female here.

 

I don't really dwell on the number I'd give myself, though. I'm just at a place where I go for women I like and let the chips fall where they may. If a rejection occurs, so be it, but it won't be because I rejected me for them.

 

It's an ok philosophy to operate under. It's productivity without pride.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...