Innotech

well Im not experienced at all about any of htis, but for what its worth... At least hes trying to get over his past and present a new self to you. To me that shows he may quitel ikely like you enough to change his old habits and become a different person than he was. Dont focus on it unless similar things start to surface in your own relationship. If they dont, then hes very much trying to forget his old self and become a new person for you, so appreciate that fact and enjoy your time with him. It takes al ot of love and dedication to someone to change so drastically. So it would be good to be as supportive and open minded about htis as possible. He seems to be quite sincere about changing, and If I were you I would simply put it behind me and lt it go. Remember, human beings arent perfect.

she has suggested that I do that because she wants me to be happy too, but honestly I am happy being single. Its just that I met her and shes the girl I would forgo my single status to be with. Right now Im not actively looking for any girl at all. Thats probably why this happened in the first place, but Im always keeping her in mind no matter what I do. As busy as she is, she feels very guilty when she doesnt spend a lot of itme with me but shes also got hometown friends (she lives about 15 miles away in a nieghboring town) who are about to go to Iraq and understandably shes also hanging out with them in case she never sees them again (they have Gfs already in case youre wondering). She also reminds me we've still got a couple years to work things out so Im definitely keeping her in mind. Its a waiting game, and I guess youre right, the best hting I can do is continue to be myself. a nice confident funny guy who will not abandon her. Becoming confident is very much an important step to getting girls to even notice you. I used to be one of those people wondering if a girl would everl ook my way, because I never psoke up. Now I pretty much stand out at parties and gatherings, making everyone laugh and showing my artwork and htings like that. I am well liked, so not having a Gf isnt going to kill me or make me go emo. But Im just thinknig it would be nice if she finally did open up again. And she definitely knows that I am a nice guy already. I hlep my friends out al ot. its just me. It isnt TRYING to be nice. I am just nice. I guess it runs in my family. In any case, thanks again for all your hlep. I appreciate it. Im going to take my chances with her and wait it out. But if she never opens up to anyhting again, Im still one of her best friends, so thats not a bad place to be. I can still deal with that.

I dont htink I made it clear enough if thats the way it sounds. She has told me quite clearly "I would love to start dating you, but I think Im "broken"" Broken meaning she would love to go out with me and such but she is emotionally scared to have a relationship with ANYONE. but if she ever got comfortable with it again she would start dating me. Thats basically whatI m saying. she isnt just dodging my "hooks" she has genuine feelings, but shes just not ready to commit after being so badly hurt. Im hoping she will eventually open up again. That is my situaiton. Right now everyone is a friend to her. She loves her friends. However she thinks a bit differently of me. Shes just not at ease with her past enough to take the next step. And Im not going to rush her into a relationship now because that would be damaging to her. Thats how it is. Its not a case of seeing love where there is none. Well, seeing as htis seems to get misconstrued as another "friend-zone/nice guy problem" then I guess I cant really post much further on it because its far more complex than that. the girl would honestly love to go out with me exclusively as an item, but hse is simply scared. to. death. of committing herself to anyhting at htis itme. So In a way htis is more of a rant and venting frustration than a question at all. I appreciate your advice diggity, but Ive been down those roads before and get put on the frields list al ot so its not exactly new to me. Ive wisened up and had confidence in myself and self respect and as a result htis girl is interested in me. But its just a very odd case where shes probably still getting over her past problems and itsj ust too soon to try anything new. That I understand. I appreciate anyone who read htis and gave advice though. Ill just wait and see what happens. Thats life. Shes worth the time and effort though. I dont have much to lose from just waiting and living my own life out in hte meantime.

First off, Im a 23 year old, and the girl is literally just turned 18. I have always felt that there is no age in love so thats not the issue. What is the issue is this. This girl is very special to me. We have been friends about a year since I first met her online at a forum and later hung out with her at an anime convention and more recently hanging out with a large group of like minded anime/japanese culture fans around town. In any case I have found myself falling extremely hard for this girl. She knows it too. I was not shy about telling her exactly how I felt and how much Id like to be with her. Now comes the problem. The problem is, there is a lot of uncertainty and trust issues involved. The trust issue isnt with me, but her problem with relationships herself. You see, she was VERY badly screwed over in her past, in unspeakable ways I really dont want to discuss in detail, but to get to the point, she was raped. She really wanted to save herself for marriage but that was stolen from her by an ex boyfriend out of selfishness. She has also recently broken up with a more recent Boyfriend who cheated on her 7 itmes. He called her a psychotic *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and everything. Now my problem as you can probably tell is that she trusts me, but she doesnt trust relationships. I know thats a bit odd to say, since if she trusts me, she should trust any relationship with me, but she sitll says "I just dont want to fall ino the hole again and repeat hte past. Im scared to death" I fully understand she needs itme to heal, but then comes hte next problem. Shes not sure exactly when, but within the next few years she is moving out of state to attend a college. Perhaps Im an idiot for even wanting to start a relationship knowing it could end htat day but for me, its so worth it. Besides, if our love is strong enough by that time it really wouldnt matter how far apart we are. So I REALLY really want to show this girl that I am not like those guys. In fact, Im a Christian, very considerate of womens needs and wants and how they should be treated. I dont worship this girl or anyhting, but she has managed to fill an empty space in my heart that is really impossible to just ignore. I love her from the depths of my heart and she loves me back. I mean a lot to her and she means quite al ot to me. Its not a case of "lets be friends" its more of a case of "Id love to take it further but Im terrified" How can I ease her worries and fears and show her how much I truly care for her and wouldnt allow bad htings to happen again to her in the small time weve got to be together? Maybe Im a hopeless dreamer, but I just love this girl so much and I want to make her happy. The most frustrating hting is, shes always mentioning how her other friends are always with hteir GFs or BFs and shes hte odd one out. Ive told her Id love to fill that spot, but shes still scared to death to open her heart to a relationship again. So should I wait it out, and hope for hte best? How do I cope with htese feelings Ive got? This is really the first time Ive ever fallen for a girl and had her love me back. If anyones been through this sort of thing, please tell your stories as well.

Actually thats not always true. I loved a girl so much I broke up with her because hse was honestly happier alone htan with me. Had I hung onto her I would have made her miserable. I love her far too much to do that. So the door swings both ways. Now if hte person wants ot resolve differences and keep it oging, its still not an indication that htey dontl ove you anymore, they possibly just are not compatible and you have to accept it and move on.

all I can tell you, is to keep your head up, stay confident, dont dwell on yourl oneliness. fill your days with activity, if you get lonely hang out with friends. Trust me, Im introverted as hell, my only relationship was al ong distance one that has just ended, on pretty good terms, but it still hurtl ike a bitch. Shes a sweetheart though, I could never hate her. I dont know why most guys cant see the beauty inside of a girl, not just hte appearance, but hte personality of a girl, the emotions, the wonderful things about them that can bring joy and happiness. For one hting, a girl not expecting to get laid or osmehting, someone who just wants to be respected and loved for who they are. But Ill be damned if most guys ignore that and want a quick lay. True love is certainly a reality. But skin deep false love, it pisses me off. So basically I say to you, keep your mind off the loneliness and make sure you know a guy before dating, make sure he isnt a sex hungry prick for one. I wish you good luck. Dont give up hope

I gave up on ever being with star. That reason being she doesnt want to be with any guy at all. Period. she wants to be aone. however I just wanted to remain friends with her, because she for a itme made me the happiest guy on Earth and indeed she at least used to bring joy to everyone. She is still I believe a very outgoing person. As forl ove triangle, dont bet on it, like I said hses not interested. shes just friends with him. a little background on her. It may explain why hse is so jaded aboutl ife ot htis day. Well when she was younger, she wanted to ice skate. she was dman good at it. then one day it all came crahsing down, literally and she ruined her back. She landed in a hospital and basically lost hte one hting she ever truly wanted to do. when I first heard about htis it broke my heart. It really did. Id sacrifice myself if it meant hse could skate gaain and be happyl ike she was. Man I dont know I just cant never tlak to her gaain. I cant just drop herl ike hse never existed. Its too hard, it hurts too much.

Well, this is a very sensitive sore subject for me right now. I just went through sort of a LDR, but it turned out to be one sided. She (Ill call her star, because to me she iwll always be a beautiful shining star no matter how how she feels about me back) has always been independent,. but little did I know, when she said she loved me, she was kidding herself, she was certainly TRYING to love, but it just didnt work because of her inability to love in a romantic way . Somehow we still remained friends through it all, until one day, star had this hatred for one of my friends( Ill call her helen to save her identity). I couldnt even guess WHY she would hater her so much, but star said it had somehting to do with what helen did to another of my friends (helens husband, Ill call him joe) Well Ive always had the affinity to want to hlep people. I enjoy it, its just osmething I do, its my personailty. I dont haste people It led me to try to find out WHAT helen did to piss off star so bad. Well I told star if she didnt tell me Id have ot ask Joe because I just have ot find out. However for osme reason or other, Star (who I really do love unconditionally despite her hatred of me) saw my statement there as both a betrayal to Joe and a threat, which I really didnt ever think of it as that, I just wanted to find out about if Joe was OK, because he's a friend of mine also and I was worried about how he was taking this. However in my foolish attempt to help Joe I really somehow hurt Star Now I have decided to back off for a while and not speak to her for at least 3 months, but I love her so much, for one example , I accepted the breakup because she is happier alone and I want her to be happy even at my expense. However I just cant live with not ever speaking to her again. please give me advice on how I can fix htis. I am truly sorry I did it, it was to me a misunderstanding of intention. I could never hate star either. Joe on the other hand doesnt hate me at all. he knows I wanted to help him he says I should have just asked him without telling Star I would. I feel like I ruined a friendship with someone I love dearly. It really hurts.

our LDR certainly has that. Katie and I certainly have communication, trust, and commitment down. But shes been through so much before, its hard for her to truly believe we will be together. I know she wants to be, she just thinks that something will happen and it wont work out . Of course, Im not about to let that happen. Actually the first step to proving how serious I am is a flight up there for 3 days in August. She is an absolute bundle of pure joy

I have to say, thus far, this relationship has been extremely successful. I feel like we both have a very deep understanding of each other, and what we want in htis relationship. However a few htings are getting to me. Well if you recall she's been through several not so good relationships, and that left her really really untrusting of love itself. She truly does love me (trust me on that, though she doesnt say it directly because she doesnt trust the word itself, she has fallen hard), but she hates herself. She has a specific reason for this, something Id really rather not discuss. but wht is problematic about that is because she hates herself, she feels like she doesnt deserve me. Its good to know I am that special to her, but she is actually terrified that she will do osmething to make me leave her. I cant leave such a wonderful girl, there really is no reason that would make me. Unless she were to commit a felony or osmethingl ike murder, but Katie is christian and thts just not her. So there really isnt anything she can do to maek me leave her. I am not looking for an easy relationship, htis has proven to be very difficult because of her stomach ulcer and her past. But Ill be damned if Im gonna give up just because its so hard. Thats just not me, and my love for her overpowers all cares for myself. Well thats the story htus far. Curently she is working towards a trip to meet me sometime htis year.

I have a bit to say on this subject. I recently got into a online relationship with a girl from a messageboard. Incredible girl, funny, intelligent, artistic, LOVes anime (a definite plus), loves animals, shes so sweet. Anyway, I stayed clear of being anything but a friend until one day, something just clicked between us. Now shes had a hell of a rough life, battling ulcers and back injuries, tonsillitis..lots of htings..but shes definitely a fighter. Anyway, I got sidetracked. I was trying to say basically that our love is definitely genuine, we both act true to ourselves (I AM a hopless romantic at heart and I love her for who she is not what she looksl ike (though she Is pretty)) and both have an idea of what the other is like IRL. It also hleps that we trust ech other, though She still sort of trying in that respect, because her previous 2 relationships almost made her quit trying altogether. She wants to completely trust me, its just a bit difficult considering her past. I understand that and Im working with it. Now I also believe that moneyand materialistic things are of little importance. Ill go wherever I have to spend whatever I have to to be with my sweetheart. Thats not a problem. So I think my relationship has a very great chance of succeeding. I think actually that if both people give it their all, that this sort of relationship WILL work out.

Ive known a lot of depressed people. Can you PM me te details as to exactly what causes your depression? I'd love to help any way I can. I know life is a bunch of bullshit at itmes, but you have to focus on the good htings rather than the bad. but Id really like to tlak with you about it, maybe help you change your mind. Depression saddens the hell out of me really. I hate it. I hate what it does to people

thank you for the support. One thing both of have is a very deep faith and trust in God. So I believe in my heart he iwll guide both of us to a happy life together. I see you noticed my sig. It reminds me that even though I am not yet confident and independent, I WILL be at any cost. It is a reminder of what I need to do to make htis work. oh, and about my father. recently Ive sort of started laughing when he yells at me about somehting,. Firstly it makes me feel better, secondly, its sort of me beginnig to take matters into my own hands. Ill take it a step at a time, but just questioning my fathers authority is already a huge step for me.God knows I love my dad but enough is enough, especially if it would ruin my chances with KAtie. Im just not going to stand for that anymore.

Name here is Jeff (21 years old). First and foremost I will tell the story of how I met Katie (19) online. This story is a bit lengthy because of my natural affinity to write essays when I post lol. Always a lover of anime, I looked up "fanart" on google one day. Little did I know that would lead to this. Well I found a fanart website, and browsed it for a while and happaened accross their forum. Its home to so many great people, and the whole forum isl ike a family almost, but one girl stood out. I mean REALLY stood out. Well I started tlaking with her and she even tried to hook me up with someone else, though I found out that actually she really liked me and it actually hurt her to hook me up. thts just one example of how truly selfless and caring Katie is. Well to make the story shorter, shes had several very crappy relationships in RL, one being a plain jerk, one wanting to get into her pants all the time (Im saving myself for marriage, and she is the same way). so after these 2 failed relationships, shes been left with a really scarred heart, and an actual fear of the word love. However I am pleased to say I earned her trust well enough that she has said she loves me numerous times. But this is very heartfelt love we feel for each other. In my case so much I can think of nothing more than how badly I want to take that trip. Now, The problem is, my father is against it. First off, he thinks the whole relationship is impractical and a waste of time. Hes right about it being impractical, but the best htings in life are impractical. Im not interested in a relationship that is easy or practical. I just want ot be with Katie. Well my father is a perfectionist, and EVERYTHING has to be near perfect or perfect for him. Its driving me up a wall and Im htinking of moving out eventually anyway. Therein lies MY OWN problem. My father has called me a failure so many times I myself feel like I cant do anything, and it has really killed my self esteem and independence and confidence. I want to live up there with Katie, but my own dependent nature will make htis VERY difficult. However I am more than willing to take any job or opportunity I have to to make it work. On a good note, Katie is herself planning a road trip down here to meet me (shes in baltimore and commutes to Philly for college) and that will make this seem all the more possible. ONe thing is for sure though. I am deeply dedicated to her, because this is the first time I have ever felt like this, and I dont EVER fall for anyone in this way. This feeling I have is that she is the one Ive been waiting for all these years. On the other side, she is also dedicated, and has told me so, and I believe that she will not stray. Firstly because I trust her, and secondly because shes been burned so many itmes by love its me or its no one. Katie is a VERY hard worker. Poor girl even got a small ulcer because she stresses herself so much. She is on the path to a very good career, and she wants me to be there with her. She will actually pull some strings if I cant make it up there. So I am confident the relationship can hold out until we finally are together permanently, but this is my story and if any of you have any suggestions on how I could develop more confidence or any advice on how to deal with this, or just plain wish me luck, everything is greatly appreciated!