love_junkie

thanks for the tips............

yeah thank you so much for your kind words. they impacted me like you'll never know. i feel as if i have lost my mind. it's a strange floating feeling, and i'm really sad. i wish i had been that smart in the beginning. my instincts to pull away were correct, but what did i do. jump in like an idiot. i try to like myself, but just when i'm stable enough, someone comes along and does this. it's hard to stay strong when you meet someone you wanna give your heart to. i want someone to smile about. this single life is sad.

LOVE IS A LIE! NOTHING IS FOREVER! IF THEY MARRY YOU, YOU CAN'T EVEN TRUST THEM! THEY'LL JUST LEAVE YOU! NO ONE STAYS, NO ONE EVER REALLY LOVES! I HATE ALL MEN FOR ALL ETERNITY!

HE IS A BIG-FAT LIAR! who does this crap? a guy who is 35 (pushin' 40!) and just becomes a cold fish to me! WHY? WHY GOD WHY WHY WHY GOD WHY?

yes, i do need all those things. but the thing is, i really thought that this guy had great potential for happiness! he is a complete liar! everyone wants someone to spend their life with, why the heck did he lie and throw me every line and convince me to date him when in the end he rips out my jugular??? makes no sense! i tried texting him and he refuses to answer the text message and only wants to talk on the phone. i don't wanna talk to him because all he does is make me feel awful...he sounds angry. i don't get it. how does someone say that garbage and then change their dammmmmmmmmm mind. i can't think! i'm topsy turvy. i will never ever date another person for the rest of my life! men are here to do one thing and that's make ME miserable! Make me feel like i am within an inch of my own life! WHY GOD WHY ME? i was good to him, that's all i was. i was just good. i was so nice to him, and by the way, i was NEVER needy. he even said i wasn't a needy person. i was so sound in everything i did. i waited weeks for him and let him have his time and all that i get is to be treated like GARBAGE! WHY? WHY GOD WHY?

because i sure did like him when he liked me!

go look at my old post 'what is wrong with my boyfriend' and please analyze it...i feel like garbage. i need someone to tell me what is wrong! i miss him so much and i feel like he doesn't care about me at all!

anyone have any responses to make about what must have happened on his end?

i am also very insecure from past disappointments. that is why i have decided to leave him because i can't take another one. this whole thing has been enough-- just ridiculous, he's the king of hot-and-cold. prior to his thesis he said, 'i love you' 'i want to marry you' 'when we get married we will have a huge house...' 'let's get married on an island' 'i'll never leave you' 'where have you been all my life' 'i plan on marrying you' 'don't be afraid to be with me, i'll never hurt you' wtf? now he sounds aloof, cold and distant. like kissing a brick wall. he tells me all of that rushing into this was 'unhealthy' and put a lot of pressure on him. oh yeah? how about my feelings. i told him i was terrified of this relationship thing, he asks me to open my heart and then he sh**s all over it! but he pushed me to do it. now look at me! i opened my heart to have it torn out!

well, i couldn't take it. i decided to end the relationship for my own sanity. no more self-sacrifice. he told me things went to fast anyways and that when school resumes, he wont' be able to see me but for 2 times a week. it just went from hot to cold and i don't understand why someone would make me open up to them just to send me off again. i ain't a ragdoll. he told me we needed to take it slow and for me that usually looks like not a good sign. i hate men. this is so stupid. i just want one consistent person, but it's impossible. he told me that all of this went so fast it put much pressure on him. he also told me in the past day that he was thinking about his thesis so much he rarely thought of me. what a piece of trash. i can't believe he said something so cold. so i am ending it today. i don't have time for this crap.

okay, this guy and i have dated for like 1 month now. he is working on his thesis right now and it has been 2 weeks of pure hell for me (and him). when we met, we both thought we were each others soul mates. now it don't look so good. any how, i found out he asked my friend if she knew anything about what i do when i go out on the town. i go out a lot with friends and he asked if i did more than just go out--as in cheat. ok, so he doesn't know that i know that he talked to her. before dinner the other night, i asked him if something was wrong and he exploded on me, 'why do you sound so accusatory? i have been at work all day and this is the first thing you hit me with?" so i nearly cried. we met at dinner, the dinner was tense and he was very aloof. he did however hold my hand here and there and gave me a kiss. by the end of the night, i was ready to get hot and heavy and make out. but he refused me. he also turned my cell phone off before we had started our movie. i tried to kiss him and it was like kissing a brick wall. so many guards were up or he wasn't interested. so, it has been 2 days and he has called one time. i get that he is busy, but he's killing me by not calling. when he does call, he sounds grouchy and unhappy to hear from me. is he tired of me? i try hard not to bug him....he has also made a comment about me having another boyfriend on the side, because i got a conversation between my other friend and him mixed up.... i said, 'oh yeah, you want to run a restaurant someday.' and he said, 'no i said a furniture mill, that must be your other boyfriend.' please help me. does he still care? he isn't calling me.

ok... i am kinda getting a little lonely. in fact, i think i've been lonely since i was 20 for someone, so i had perpetual relationships. well i don't anymore and haven't in many years, but my heart is calling. i want to be with someone. i want to get married. it seems illusive. i don't want just anyone, but really i'm 27 years old and i don't wanna wait anymore! i want love soooooooooo bad and i want a real stable committed relationship. where will i meet a good guy and please don't say the internet! this is driving me nuts. my uncle and i were in a store the other day and he pointed at this sign and said 'hey that's you....' the sign said, 'i forgot to get married and have kids'...the thing is---i've wanted those things really bad but they escape me. i am so sad and just feel terrible about myself. help?

no....... he said he's moving away so he doesn't want a girlfriend. i can't blame him, but he is making me so mad with his resistance. i think i'll just call it quits and find someone. this guy is not even hot enough to pursue this much. plus he looks like chewbacca

I GOT HIM! i hung out with him the other night and things went fabulous..... he told me he liked me and i told him i liked him too. it was fabulous and we made out and talked all night! i kid you not, sometimes nice things do happen. yay! are you guys surprised?

damn.......................... i finally got him to email me back today........ he says...... "We are friends. I just tried to tell you that I have a full schedule. Working 10 hour days, painting and refinishing the new apartment, gigs ... etc." and that's what i got so far, but he did acknowledge me there...........