My house-maid is pregnant - Ooh my God..

[annie24]

It is possible but not easy - there are procedures to be followed involving government responsible sector, there will be a lot of questions however!

she will also needed to bring her father's letter of acceptance. To get a letter from her family is also not easy. ](*,)

 

what country are you in? is being married to more than one woman at a time allowed? can it be "forced?"

[blindfold]

you are the father to this kid, and he/she deserves to have one. it was YOUR mistake and irresponsability, so you should now do everything you can to support your child. tell your wife - she has the right to know.

[southerngirl]

I am also interested to know where you are living. This may help to give you better advice?

[Hope75]

what country are you in? is being married to more than one woman at a time allowed? can it be "forced?"

 

A good point. Is bigamy legal where you are?

 

And do you think that your 'first' wife will stay once she finds out about the affair and pregnancy?

[Miss Firecracker]

Mo,

 

Where do you live? It's certainly not the US. They can't make you do a thing but pay child support here for a child conceived outside your marriage.

 

Where are you, Mo?

 

I used to want a housekeeper, but now I'm sorta glad I could never afford one.

[JadedStar]

Mo,

 

Where do you live? It's certainly not the US. They can't make you do a thing but pay child support here for a child conceived outside your marriage.

 

Where are you, Mo?

 

I used to want a housekeeper, but now I'm sorta glad I could never afford one.

 

Me too Miss Firecracker. Me too.

[annie24]

Mo,

 

 

I used to want a housekeeper, but now I'm sorta glad I could never afford one.

 

and this is why I will never get a housekeeper!!! or if I do, they will need to be ugly. (sorry if that sounds mean, but I don't want my future husband getting tempted by the hot swedish au pair!)

[Miss Firecracker]

I wouldn't hire an unattractive one either.

 

You should see me, and men are still all over me. I can only go outside now because my 75(?) year old neighbor moved away. He was always drinking and asking me to go to Home Depot with him.

 

And you can imagine how men are tempted when walking by and seeing the maid bending over the bathtub, bending over the bed, bending over mopping. I mean, it's probably pretty tempting if their wife hasn't been very affectionate for awhile. And imagine if he's had a few beers!

[mo]

maybe I've missed the answer to this somewhere, but..

 

Which woman do you want to be with? Follow that..

 

Hazey, of course is my wife and kids - but also I can't dump this poor young girl, (She and I enjoyed our relationship) - I'll have to support her and our baby (like what others advised me!). There are a lot of consequences facing me - what shall I do? I've to keep both of them. I can not afford to lose one.

[mo]

you are the father to this kid, and he/she deserves to have one. it was YOUR mistake and irresponsability, so you should now do everything you can to support your child. tell your wife - she has the right to know.

 

You wanna make me blind-fold too..

 

You think is that simple to tell my wife - agree is my responsibilities to find the best way to avoid conflict (un-easy) and to support my maid. That's why I am looking for advise from you friends.

[mo]

A good point. Is bigamy legal where you are?

 

And do you think that your 'first' wife will stay once she finds out about the affair and pregnancy?

 

That's a BIG question on my head - I hope/pray for good, you too pray for me Hope..

[mo]

I wouldn't hire an unattractive one either.

 

You should see me, and men are still all over me. I can only go outside now because my 75(?) year old neighbor moved away. He was always drinking and asking me to go to Home Depot with him.

 

And you can imagine how men are tempted when walking by and seeing the maid bending over the bathtub, bending over the bed, bending over mopping. I mean, it's probably pretty tempting if their wife hasn't been very affectionate for awhile. And imagine if he's had a few beers!

 

Hahahaaa - very true, you ladies became worried now isn't it. Not a joke really..

[Miss Firecracker]

No, it is certainly not a joke, Mo. This is a serious subject to me. But I'm able to laugh at most anything, I don't know why. It's my way of survival I guess.

[BellaDonna]

Doctor in her place gave her medications to remove pregnancy but refuse to do abortion, the medication did nothing and she came back home -

 

What kind of medication was this exactly?

 

Maybe she did not actually take it because she could not go through with it....

 

But if this medication was to cause an abortion, and she took it- did it end up harming the baby in any way? Has she been seeing a doctor since then- is the baby developing normally?

 

BellaDonna

[rocio]

Hazey, of course is my wife and kids - but also I can't dump this poor young girl, (She and I enjoyed our relationship) - I'll have to support her and our baby (like what others advised me!). There are a lot of consequences facing me - what shall I do? I've to keep both of them. I can not afford to lose one.

 

It's commendable that you feel an obligation to the housemaid and her unborn child. After all, you are responsible for creating that life and the child, if born, deserves the world. It sounds like you might live in a country where it is difficult for single mothers to raise their children independently.

 

Based on what you've written, I would say that you need to end your relationship with the housemaid. Even if you feel you love her, you need to put those feeling aside. Following them is selfish and destructive for everyone involved. Be kind and warm to her. Make sure that her basic needs are cared for. Get her a home of her own (remove her from your home as soon as possible.) If she has the child, be a good father to him. Take care of his financial needs, as well as his educational, emotional and spiritual needs.

 

As for your wife, you need to spend the rest of your life making it up to her and your children, whom you have deeply betrayed. Don`t expect her to forgive you tomorrow, or next year, or the year after. She will forgive when she`s convinced that you are a changed man and would never cheat on her again. Thus, your first step needs to be ending ALL affairs you may be having with other women. Let yourself be satisfied with your wife and the life you`ve chosen for yourself. Don`t become greedy because that is how you will lose everything.

[scarew]

Mo, I am so confused. Do you actually think that you can keep both women? I think that might be an unrealistic goal, but I suppose it depends on where you live (if polygymy is legal).

 

 

Obviously you must support the house-maid. But you need to choose one or the other. Unless of course, both women are totally secure with you having two women and two families. I think you should talk to your wife right away. Tell her that not only have you had an affair, but you have gotten a woman pregnant, and that you want to continue your relationship with this woman, while continuing the relationship with your current family. See how that goes over (please note a hint of sarcasm in my previous statement).

 

Seriously, I am confused. Do you honestly think that your wife would allow you to continue a relationship with the house maid? If you do, then I don't really see why you are asking for advise. It appears that your mind is already made up.

[This Little Lady]

I agree with Scarew. You have to choose. You obviously want the maid more than you want your wife. You may as well just leave you wife and run off with the maid! Since you have said before that you feel madly in love with her. Honestly I don't think you deserve either of them if you are thinking about keeping both of them.

 

You have two choices. Stay with your wife, support the child. Leave your wife, raise a family with the other woman. It may not be the choices you'd like but you have basically set yourself up for them. You are an adult, you must do the responsible thing. Keeping both women in your life will cause a large complication. You will begin to see that you want one more than the other if they are both around. I mean you had an affair with the maid. I think that says precisely what may happen.

[scarew]

I think it is clear that Mo is from a country that has a different legal system than mine or any that I am used to. Mo, if you could tell us where you are from or perhaps the legalities regarding polygymy, marraige, child support, divorce, it would help us give you advice.

[glegend]

Listen boss you made a mistake. There are 2 outcomes of this. (1) your wife will kick your sorry [butt] out of the house and file for divorce and get half your stuff and like 1500+ in child support. And she will tell you to go live with your mistress and your [edit] kid. (2) She will somehow forgive you but your marriage will never be the same.

In the end your screwed. The real question you should be asking yourself is, why did I mess around with her (and please post the answer)? For you to have been fooling around with your maid there has to have been a reason for you to be doing that, maybe you felt insecure and she comforted you

[JadedStar]

He has been back since being asked his locale several times, guess he does not want to answer. maybe that means it is NOT legal where he is.

 

i think his locale at this point is very important to this discussion.

[mo]

Thank you Hazey - this is a great advise - Thanks again.

[mo]

What kind of medication was this exactly?

 

Maybe she did not actually take it because she could not go through with it....

 

But if this medication was to cause an abortion, and she took it- did it end up harming the baby in any way? Has she been seeing a doctor since then- is the baby developing normally?

 

BellaDonna

 

I'm not sure what kind of medication she took when she went home. Yesterday, I asked her if we can go see doctor to see how the baby is developing - Thank you Bella.

[mo]

Scarew, Little Lady & Jadedstar..

 

First (as many of you wanted to know) I'm living in Middle East and I'm African origin - Second, I love my wife so much and I have never been committed any wrong doing. I had house-keepers before and I had no relationship with any of them.

 

Recently, my wife loose interest on sorry (sex) - So, when I employed this very attractive woman, is the time my wife has lost about 85% of her sexual desire. Believe me guys, I had no intension of having affair/relationship with this girl - but due to my circumstances and the way this maid act in my house - I was just attracted and fallen in love - the first day I has sex with her, it was wonderful and much enjoyed, this was the beginning of our relationship. Indeed, I felt insecure and she comforted me (like what glegend said above)

 

Now, I'll take some of advises of yours to end this relationship immediately and to put full support to the lady with our child. Again my worries, I don't know how to tell my wife and what will happen if she will come to know.

 

Sorry my english is not that good.

 

Thank you all.

[scarew]

So do you mean you are going to end the relationship with the house maid but still support her financially? Or are you ending the relationship with your wife?

 

Thanks for filling us in mo.

[mo]

So do you mean you are going to end the relationship with the house maid but still support her financially? Or are you ending the relationship with your wife?

 

Thanks for filling us in mo.

 

Sadly - with house-maid and I'll have to support her financially. Her side also worried about her family - I wish I/we shouldn't have done this. Feel for me Scarew - I'm just in deepsh**

 

God Bless You.