Asking before the first kiss?

[stopit]

Personally, I would think it weird and a bit cliche if a guy asked me. Whether he asked me just generally before or immediately before whether he could kiss me, I honestly wouldn't know what to say ("Oh yes, may you please do?"). I think there are a lot of subtler ways to "ask permission" - just leaning in and seeing how the person responds before going for the plunge, for one.

 

But I'm curious as to how many people have actually asked the person they were with whether it was okay to kiss them, and what their experiences were like. So yes, this is a share-your-experience thread!

[Slagar]

Hmm, I think it depends on the individuals involved.

I know some girls who think that it is very cute if a boy asks before he kisses them. Those girls seem to be quite okay with the whole shy-guy thing in general, and even like it.

 

Well, I asked my first girlfriend before I kissed her for the first time, on our first date. Our "relationship" pretty much ended that day, lol

With the girls I've met since, it just kind of happened when the time was right.

[adahy]

I've done both. Things should be fairly comfortable though leading up to a kiss...body language, etc. So, it's no big deal to ask. I just try to phrase it in a way that sounds sweet...or subtle. Things are generally only strange/awkard if there aren't any vibes going on. A guy should KNOW the answer before he asks...or gal for that matter.

[Jayar]

I don't mind being asked in that bold sort of "I'd love to kiss you right now" kind of way (as opposed to a "may I kiss you right now?" way)

[adahy]

Actually, lately I've just been saying "I want to kiss you". It's kinda like a question in that it's giving her a moment to respond in some way, but more aggressive than a question. It's in the middle I suppose of asking and "going in". However, I say it as I'm going in...so she has maybe 2 seconds to stop me

[laboheme]

I've done both. Things should be fairly comfortable though leading up to a kiss...body language, etc. So, it's no big deal to ask. I just try to phrase it in a way that sounds sweet...or subtle. Things are generally only strange/awkard if there aren't any vibes going on. A guy should KNOW the answer before he asks...or gal for that matter.

 

I was going to write basically the same thing! If two people have been cuddling for a while now and it's obvious that the other person will not object to a kiss, it CAN be cute if you ask before going in for the kill.

 

But in general, I agree that body language is the best way to ask permission...

[karvala]

I don't mind being asked in that bold sort of "I'd love to kiss you right now" kind of way (as opposed to a "may I kiss you right now?" way)

 

Exactly. From the other side of that, I can say that sounds infinitely better as well; on those occasions where I have felt the need to get some sort of permission first, it's always been in that positive way, an expression of desire, rather than a tentative question.

[RayKay]

My boyfriend and my first kiss kinda came around in a funny way.

 

We were playing pool, and he was winning all the games. We placed a bet that he would get a kiss if he won again. Wouldn't you know it, that was the one game he lost when he scratched!

 

He went in a few minutes later for a kiss anyway...I of course was all for it!

 

I am not so much into the ASKING, but I don't mind when someone lets it be known they want one!

[sophie274]

My first boyfriend asked, and it made the moment really awkward for me. I didn't know what to say, blushed a whole lot ... honestly more awkward than cute.

 

My now boyfriend and I kissed at the end of our second date. We were clearly into each other, and after the bad experience with the first boyfriend I was glad he didn't ask and just went for it (actually it was a bit more mutual). Anyway he went slowly enough that if I had NOT been into it, there would have been ample time to duck and run! But again, it was pretty obvious I approved ...

[pinkelephant]

i always THOUGHT it was cute... but it made me feel really awkward as well. that was my first kiss, my bf asked me if he could kiss me. lol.

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

my guy just leaned in and was like i wanna kiss. so i giggled and gave him one. but he didnt let go..lol

[vote4james]

Just do whatever feels best; try to be assertive though. Rather than asking her whether she wants to kiss you, tell her you want to kiss her!

[timboo]

oh god, my first kiss was so awful, i still shiver with embarrassment.

i am hopeless at reading body language, i have aspergers syndrome which basically means i dont know how to respond in social situations.

we were in this girls flat, we had talked for ages and had 'been out' a couple of times. but i just didn't know what to do next. we were both silent, slowly leaning together but neither person willing to make the move. half of me was screaming 'get out of here you silly ****'. eventually we kissed, more by accident than design, i dont remember anything about it because it was so poor and i didn't fancy her.

 

i'd rather the girl came onto me personally, because i find making that move really embarrassing, not to mention risking a slap in the face.

[J6hn]

I always found that think cute in that Adam Sandler movie, can't remember what it was where he gave a note to the girl saying "First kiss time?"

 

Me and my girlfriend didn't ask either, we both knew we wanted to. It was adorable enough without asking.

[EvaGina]

From memory it has only happened once... my friend and I were drunk at my house, he just kept moving closer and closer... I said something funny, he laughed and just goes "oh my god, can i PLEASE kiss you!?" I said somthing stupid like "sure" then that was that

 

it was very sweet, but I think he only pulled it off becuase of the kind of guy he is (nerdish D&D gamer

[blemished]

Somehow I can remember the first time kissing any of the men I've dated and liked, but I can't remember first kissing the ones I didn't! (How's that for selective memory?)

 

Anyway, the last first kiss I had came about in the opposite manner of a question! He went to give me a hug but somehow it was a frenchy kiss instead. I think it was unplanned but I have no idea. It was not awkward, it turned hot, and thankfully he had to catch his ride momentarily. I was not offended, but I do think it depends on the person-- because all other first kisses in recent memory WERE awkward, asked or not. Which now makes me wonder, how much information does a first kiss yield about future compatibility?

[Aurian]

I've only kissed two...

 

My ex was a long distance relationship. He asked me via email before we met if he could kiss me when we first met at the airport. I said yes.

 

My current boyfriend, we just kinda leaned into each other and kissed at the end of the first date

[Gus Almighty]

I generally have best results when saying "so......d'ya like, wanna make out?"

 

Works like a charm

[Leonhart]

Asking is lame. It's supposed to be one of those things that just 'happens.' Unfortunately, not everyone thinks that way about it.

[schizo]

I always found that think cute in that Adam Sandler movie, can't remember what it was where he gave a note to the girl saying "First kiss time?"

 

Me and my girlfriend didn't ask either, we both knew we wanted to. It was adorable enough without asking.

 

That was Click! lol

 

Anywho...I think asking is "cute" but not "sexy". I've only had one guy ask me ((It was his first kiss so he was nervous I guess lol)) He just plain out asked, "Can I kiss you?" How romantic

 

I definantly agree that the asking by means of body language is better. It gives you that excited nervous feeling...like... "Are we going to kiss now? "

[EvaGina]

my ex goes "kiss me" when we were cuddling on his couch, I just laughed at him and yelled "YOU GET NOTHING"...

 

... he got everything