rayah Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 DAY 5 boooooo i really broke NC...i texted him/then called him/then tried to vid chat w/ him hahaha...its like when i break the barrier i lose all composure. why is that? im an obsessive person regardless though. it definitely messed my day up my defense mechanism toward this issue is sleep, im sure of this now because i feel my body trying to retreat. i need to be studying but all i want to do is lay down. i think iono what i think actually. i miss our f-ship more than anything. i cant remember the r-ship much. i would love to know what's going on in his head, but i wont ever know. so i dont think about it much. i told myself 'self, you have until 7 p.m. [its 5 p.m.] to get this/him out of your system...then you're going back on NC. i just want SB to be here no i want May 2010 to be here [GRADUATION]!!!!! i dont feel down on myself for contacting him either. i do, however, feel as though NC is key. time is patience patience is key. we have characteristics to have a successful r-ship, if that is in our destiny, but who we were who we are now and who we are becoming are so very different. but our characteristics will never change. but my heart isnt holding on to him, i am comforted by that. i cant worry about anybody but myself. God really has been there for me, like he won't allow me to get too worried or distraught about the situation. Like it feels like I may but then he comforts me and lets me know that everything will be okay. I don't regret anything that has happened but I do wish that I had listened to God from the beginning of the break up and did NC instead of waiting 7 months. well anywho i say all this to say...back to day 1 blahhh Link to comment
Sev Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Days 2,3,4 & 5 Hi, I decided this time to not keep a dailt journel due to the fact i feel it is slowing down my healing rather than helping it due to thinking about it each day when i do it daily! So, suprisingly 2,3,4 & 5 have been fine so far, yes i thought about things a little and had the occational moment were i have felt a bit down but other than that im fine. I hope im through the worst of it now, i keep getting worse and then alot better alot quicker now which is good. I seem to have had a epithany(spelling?!) and reaslised she wasnt as good as i thought she was. I think it helped when i tried to be friends with her and she just seemed to belittle me all the time and make out she was only staying friends for me, to a point were i just walked away from her as i wasnt having anyone giving me friendship out of pity and i resent her for it now. Like she hadnt hurt me enough to then throw my friendship back in my face in the worst possible way. One day it will come back to haunt her, or not, but either way i dont care. Well i got a date on friday too! So yay me! I fiannly think im coming through this. I still have feelings for her dont get me wrong. Its just i know truthfully now i couldnt go back to her now even if she asked. The trust has gone, also so has the respect. I guess i was too clouded by just wanting her back to actually see this. She made a fool of me for her own reasons, sheleftme for someone else. This is a deal breaker, even if she never comes back, i wouldnt want her back. Thats the difference thats making me feel better kind of. I feel like a fool and i had a ego bruising but however, im glad that i found this out about her as now i know what she is like. If she could say she loved me, share a house, my bed, make plans for the future then walk away when someone better came along, what kind of person does this? The women i loved was a illusion, this is her showing her real side, selfish. And dont say she isnt as if she wasnt, why did she lead me on up until finding someone else. There was no signs. Nothing. No talk just her walking out, out of the blue into another guys arms. So to hell with her, i can do better and deserve better. Im looking forward to day 10000 of no contact as i never want to see her again. Sorry for turning into a mini rant! Link to comment
lady g Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I have been in NC now for 5 weeks, he has sent me 3 emails in that time trying to find out how I am - this one is the latest.. Can you please help me - not sure what I should do.. 'Hi, How are you doing? I hope things are looking up for you and that you are starting to feel better. It would sure be nice if one day you could be friends with me again. I find it very odd and sad that you would want to cut someone completely out of your life who played such a significant part of it. But if that is what makes you feel better and most healthy then it is for the best. I am still considering moving to Vietnam and working towards it. If I do go, most likely it will be in about 2 -3 ish months. Do you still want to take Zulu if I go? Are you living with Ritchie? If you take Zulu where will you go? I do think about you and worry about a lot. I hope you are finding happiness and life is getting a better' Thanks so much - just need some guidance as this has thrown me Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Ignore this message. You've made it clear that you want reconciliation or nothing at all. The question he should be asking is how could he break up with you after being together through so much. He can't have his cake and eat it too. Link to comment
lady g Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Thanks John, he has a new GF so I'm not really sure even if we were friends what kind of relationship it would be? I still love him deeply and told him that the last time I contacted him 5 weeks ago so surely that should register with him? I think he just wants me in his life for support as I was a huge emotional rock throughout all the hard times he went through. Link to comment
redreine Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 My ex is out on a date...and he totally posted so much as his facebook status (which he never does, he's so lazy about facebook) I think he's trying to make me jealous. Funny thing...I thought I WOULD be jealous...but I'm NOT. I've been talking to a bunch of different guys all day today. Two of them seem like definite prospects. I know how my ex works, and he can't keep a relationship together to save his life. Hopefully this works out for him. Hopefully one of these guys works out for me. Link to comment
arghgirl Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 7 days NC. I am feeling really good. Of course, I miss him but have moved on! Of course, I love him and wish him the best... and of course, I would be happy if he comes back. Most importantly, I want the best for him even if that is not with me. I was in a bad place before we broke up... and now, I am doing much better. I found a new job opportunity and started dating these past couple of weeks. And I already am crushing on someone I recently went out with... not a rebound, but I genuinely like him. And to think that I would never meet someone again just several weeks ago! There is hope! It is just a matter of perspective... always the hardest to change. Things do get better... it is just a matter of time and making sure you take care of yourself. Link to comment
abigail Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 OK dave.. I'm taking you up on your challenge... Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Day 13. Still miss her but coming to terms with differences between us. I still don't think they were anything we couldn't have dealt with, but it takes two to make something work. Link to comment
philove Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Day 12 - I don't know how I feel anymore, I guess I feel numb. I'm not thinking about her as much as I use to and I have stopped dreaming about her but I can feel somewhere deep inside me there is still a connection I have with her. I just need to break that connection and I will feel much better. It's been 8 days since she last contacted me and I just ignored her. I am still checking my email every hour to see if she has emailed me but I don't know why. I don't want a relationship with her anymore I think I just get comfort on knowing she is thinking about me. I don't have urges anymore to break NC and I have completely stopped cyberstalking her but I just can't completely let go which is the frustrating part. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I've been talking to a bunch of different guys all day today. Two of them seem like definite prospects. I know how my ex works, and he can't keep a relationship together to save his life. Hopefully this works out for him. Hopefully one of these guys works out for me. That's great to here redreine, I hope one of those guys works out for you Day 29 for me. I have to say I'm really envious of those of you who have managed to start healing or even moved onto dating new people after only a short space of time. I wish I could do the same but my feelings for my ex have only gotten stronger and I miss her more each day. No other girl interests me and I can't even begin to think about dating. I'm just not interested, so the fact that my ex is already dating makes everything doubly hard for me! I really wish I could stop wondering about what she's doing, I spoke to my Mum last night and she rightly said it was a waste of time. I know it is, all it does is bring me misery so why can't I stop? I miss her friendship so much, we always shared the same silly sense of humour. The other day I was in the supermarket and I saw this stupid slogan on some washing up liquid I know she would have loved, but I couldn't show it to her and it just made me sad. Four days until my birthday, I wonder what that will bring... Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I have to say I'm really envious of those of you who have managed to start healing or even moved onto dating new people after only a short space of time. I wish I could do the same but my feelings for my ex have only gotten stronger and I miss her more each day. No other girl interests me and I can't even begin to think about dating. I feel the same way. I was supposed to go on a date last week but I cancelled. I just couldn't bear the thought of having to do small talk with some other guy who I know would have tried to flirt with me, etc. Blah. I don't even enjoy the attention other guys might give me at this point. It will get better....it is just too soon for now... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Day 15 - Sometimes it seems like it's getting easier and he isn't the source of my sadness, sometimes, I just miss him SO much and wonder what he's doing. =[ Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Day 2 Much easier day today, mainly because I was kept busy with my uni course and managed to sneak a few lunchtime beers in with a friend. Heading out with a couple of the guys tonight for some pool and beer, it could go either way. I'll either maintain my happy state or end up in a bad mood with all the in-your-face couple action going on. Link to comment
rayah Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Day 12 - I don't know how I feel anymore, I guess I feel numb. I'm not thinking about her as much as I use to and I have stopped dreaming about her but I can feel somewhere deep inside me there is still a connection I have with her. I just need to break that connection and I will feel much better. . I have a question...can a connection really be broken? I mean I feel like even with NC that connection will still be there if the two ever decided to see each other again. Also, I feel like the connection can diminish or 'seem' like it, if the partners are forcing it too. My ex is doing this. It's horrible because he acts so different towards me like when we [well this is b4 i was doing NC] would initially see each other he would be so off and then after 5 minutes it was like old times, each meeting was like this. It's really annoying. But if he's so determined to block whatever out his mind then so be it. I do feel it is sort of disrespectful. But the thing is we're friends and he always tells me how we have a 'genuine friendship' then why be so standoffish? Anywayyyys! Link to comment
and again Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 This in not sure of, i always thought me and my ex would always be fine next time we bumped into eachother, but i broke 5 wks nc sat thought she was in real trouble and had reason to believe it true. She wasnt. She was quite offish, more or less questioning why i should care. And also saying i should move on and wished i would go with some one else. Why she thought she had the need to say that i dont know. I havent contacted her since break up, and she wuld have no way of knowing how ive been feeling. But at the same point she said i`ll tell you what ive been up to, i havent had any one in house since you left, i wont ever have a one night stand, and i will never ever have a relationship again. But the way she was speaking you would never have thought under two months before she was saying , I love you, thanks for understanding me, your the best thing to ever happen to me apart from kids. We never had a row or anything, she just wants to be on her own. So as for me i dont know if the conection will always be there. Unless she`s pushing me away because her head has gone with the whole relationship thing, and she just ran. Anyone else got any ideas on this?? Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I feel VERY weird today about not knowing anything about my ex for 15 days. It's like I'm grieving the loss of someone who died. Very weird. Oh well, keep walking and keeping NC. Link to comment
androidmj Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I went 39 days NC...then today I im-ed her...I would say it went as expected. She said two sentences, and one of them was yes...time to restart I guess. Day 0 Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I feel VERY weird today about not knowing anything about my ex for 15 days. It's like I'm grieving the loss of someone who died. Very weird. Oh well, keep walking and keeping NC. It is totally like a death, at least it seems that way to me. Not knowing or not seeing someone who was part of your soul for any amount of time is almost worst than death, as you know they are still alive and breathing but you can't see them. At least death is final. There's no hoping they'll come back, no possibility for a reconciliation and nothing to hold onto apart from their memory. I would be so insanely happy to see her smile at me again. The best I can hope for is that we can become friends far in the future, but will she have forgotten about me to such a degree by then that she won't care to even know me platonically? The fact that everything that made me happy in my life is now out of my control is too much to bear, sometimes. 30 days tomorrow. Link to comment
redreine Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I agree with the death sentiment. I told my ex to just try and forget that I existed, and he said he could never forget someone that made such a huge impact on his life. It's like these people don't think about anyone but themselves. If I truly made such a huge impact on your life, if you truly loved me as much as you say you did, we wouldn't be in this mess. Get a clue. You need to shut up and grow up. And for the love of everyone in the dating world, fix your dumb self before pushing your nonsense and heartache upon others! HMPH! Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 It's like these people don't think about anyone but themselves. If I truly made such a huge impact on your life, if you truly loved me as much as you say you did, we wouldn't be in this mess. Get a clue. You need to shut up and grow up. And for the love of everyone in the dating world, fix your dumb self before pushing your nonsense and heartache upon others This made me smile, I wish I could be angry at my ex (and believe me I've tried!) but I just can't. She's just moving on with her life and I can't begrudge her that, especially as I broke her heart first. What goes around comes around and all that... Link to comment
smurfHSC06 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 OK, so day 1 of NC starts today, the "I want to go on a break stage" started January 10th. Have been dealing with reading the eBooks and all of that. Hasn't really helped. So Count me in. Put all of her numbers, IM, blocked facebook, pictures and things that remind me of her in THE BOX, put THE BOX in the closet under a blanket and suitcases behind the door. Remember the only way she is going to come back is with attraction, not me begging for her to do so! Staying strong and busy! Link to comment
redreine Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 UK, I'm not angry at my ex for moving on. I do love him, and I wish him all the happiness in the world. Heck, I've moved on! (His name is Matt...*beams*) I just want him to be still for a moment. Work on himself. I want him to quit hurting others, and to be able to have a real relationship with someone, not only for his sake, but for the sake of his beautiful little girl. I don't think it's ever good to have any real feelings of animosity towards an ex. Never regret something that once made you happy. Lessons were learned, love was had...it just wasn't meant to be...at least not right now. *hugs* Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I really dont understand my ex, I've been reading through everyones posts and it seems like everyone is saying the same thing... their ex's seem to be cold, and detatched when the see or speak to them. Mine seems to be the complete opposite everytime I see her she seems genuinely happy to see me, always smiling, laughing and joking, we still get on great I just dont understand... if even after this she stilll enjoys my company, why are we not together???? We had a good 5 years, we had a beautiful wedding, we still get on great, I'm in the best shape i've ever been in my life and she hasn't moved on nor is she interested in moving on... (so she says... but seems genuine). I just dont understand. Link to comment
philove Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Day 13 - I had a terrible night last night. I must have had at least 3 dreams about my ex ironically after I mentioned not having them anymore yesterday! I woke up very upset and I felt nothing but pure hatred towards her. Link to comment
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