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redreine

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Everything posted by redreine

  1. redreine
    I used to post in the original version of this thread a looooong time ago, and I thought I would come in and tell everyone my story. The ex I was supposed to be taking this challenge over, kept asking me back, and I kept taking him back. We did this 8 times. EIGHT TIMES. Then, he ended contact with me, and I moved on. I was with this new guy for almost a year. It was not a good relationship emotionally, and it ended tragically. However, a few months into the relationship, my old ex made contact. I ignored him for awhile, then finally decided to just be friends with him. We ended up becoming really good friends. Then my new boyfriend and I broke up, and my ex was engaged. Fast forward 3 months, and the original ex and I are back together. He did a complete 180, and has become the perfect boyfriend. We're looking at a house, and planning our wedding. Now there is another problem. Somewhere along the line, I fell out of love with him, and now I've met someone else. I'm caught in between the two guys. I think what I'm trying to say is, don't sit around and wait for your ex. Move on, and find happiness with someone else. Not only that, but once you do move on, do it 100%, and never look back, no matter what.
  2. redreine
    Hugs go out to all that want them.
  3. redreine
    *hugs* to ash and brazil...everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I promise.
  4. redreine
    I'm so proud of all of you. Just accepting this challenge takes a lot of willpower. I found out trying to take it...what? 3 times? (lol) That I just couldn't do it. That last time I went NC for almost a week! Hahaha. I always say what's meant to be will always find it's way. He and I are just meant to be. The other night, he told me he can't even look at ranch dressing without thinking of me. Obviously you all don't understand because it's an inside thing between he and I, but I'm sure you all understand the sentiment. My point in saying that is, we all have these little things with our ex's that remind us of them. And vice versa. So just remember, if it's meant to be, love will do all the work for you. You don't have to contact them, or facebook stalk them, or anything else. Happy NC everybody!
  5. redreine
    And here we are. I'm back together with my ex. Everyone thinks I'm desperate and pathetic and all that...but sometimes you just know you need to be with someone. I don't know how to explain it, and I don't really care if I change anyone's opinion on me or my guy...I just know we can't live without each other. At least, not very well. Thanks ena, for always being there for me.
  6. redreine
    I know, John. I've tried to explain to the new guy what was going on, but he won't have it. I don't know what else to do, at this point. This is two major blows in a row from my ex. If I don't get over him on my own soon, he's going to make sure I'm over him. Acting like this, anyway.
  7. redreine
    OH MY GOODNESS AM I LIVID. I get home from work yesterday, and my ex has been trying to contact me all day. His best friend's fiancee is having her baby. So, I call him, and we talk awhile since he's in the waiting room alone. I have to go babysit my best friend who is on bedrest and 8 months pregnant, so she and I txt him from her phone, and he txts us back. I get home late, between 1 and 1:30, and call him, and we talk while he's driving home. He says he's home, he'll talk to me online. So we're talking online, and at some point we land smack dab in the middle of a conversation that lands him the opportunity to tell me he still wants to father my children. I've realized that I am still in love with my ex, but this was enough to push me over the edge. I broke up with my new boyfriend, telling him I'm still in love with my ex. Then a few hours later, my ex tells me he just said that out of horniness. I bursted into tears. At one time, he and I were trying to start a family. How could he outright lie about something like that? Then he tells me that maybe I was right, and we shouldn't talk at all, because obviously every conversation we have turns into something beyond friendly, and it's affecting my dating life, and that I deserve to make some guy happy and I deserve to be made happy, blah blah blah. What in the hell, ena, was THAT all about? Anyone have a clue.
  8. redreine
    My thoughts exactly. He told me he just started thinking about her in the past few days, too. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'd certainly hope no one would take part in the relationship we shared while wishing to have another. I can't even explain how hurt I am, though. He told me he would always be here for me. The thing is, I want him to always be here with me, too. I need to be alone.:sad:
  9. redreine
    My ex and I spent all last night talking. I opened his IM window, and the instant I did, he IM'd me. We both dreamed about each other the night before. He said his date went well. He also said he couldn't physically be around me right now because he knows that would lead to other things. He even told me how beautiful I am. He also sent me some bumper stickers on facebook, and was telling me how he's always reminded of me, and how he does/says things like me now. He promised not to watch "our movie" with any other girl. Then, he dropped a bombshell on me. He told me he had dated a girl 5 years ago, and she has ignored him for the past 5 years. For the past 5 years, he has hoped every day that she would come back to him. My heart shattered, ena. He claims he never thought of her while we were together...but my God. I was supposed to marry him! We were trying to start a family! I cried and yelled at him and he let me and told me he understood. We ended up talking through it and we're ok now, but... ...I'm not sure if we can ever get back together in the future, now that I know that. And that kills me. After talking last night about the fact that I want him to be happy and everything, he said he knows for sure that I truly love him. And he knows that other girl never did. I just...*sigh*. I'm so...sad, about the whole situation.
  10. redreine
    Very recently. Maybe 3 days ago? Possibly 4.
  11. redreine
    I talked about him a lot today. I wore his boxers last night, and his jacket today. He told me last night he wanted me to keep his things. Our friends situation is so odd. It's like we're bf/gf without the label. I would say I was letting him have his cake and eat it too, if it wasn't for the fact that we aren't sexually involved, and I have a bf, and he someone he seems to be seeing exclusively. He's sure to tell me about their 2nd date tonight, so we'll see how that goes. I love him and miss him immensely, though. LC makes me feel like a better person. Not only that, but he was with me when my life was bad. Now that it's good, I feel it only fair to share that much with him. Knowing I'm happy makes him happy, and vice versa.
  12. redreine
    We were NC for about 2 weeks. We both do better when we keep each other in our lives, so I'm just doing LC. Enough to be a comfort, and not so much as to make us want each other back. He seems really excited about seeing this other girl, and I am honestly happy for him. All of my other ex's I've been irritated or made fun of their new gf's, but not him. I think that means it must've really been love.
  13. redreine
    IM'd my ex this morning. I'm never online in the morning, but since I have a new job now (YAY!) I'm up and excited. He was online, and we talked. It was good. He seems happy, and I'm happy for him. He seemed happy for me, and I'm happy for me, too. I still miss him sometimes, but I don't have this undying flame in my heart for him, as it were. I just want him to be happy. He did mention noticing my relationship status change back to single on facebook, but I decided not to read into that, or the fact that he made note of it. He's trying to set up a second date for tonight or tomorrow with his ex. Typing this I miss him a lot more than when I was actually talking to him. I'm not sure what it is. I've dated a million guys. (Ok, I exaggerate, lol) However, he is the only one that I can't 100% get over. Everything reminds me of him. I can still feel him. Smell him. Taste him. I still love him. I told him always and forever, and even though we aren't together anymore, I still mean it. I won't ever stop loving him. And I'm ok with that.
  14. redreine
    His mom posted the Christmas photos on facebook today. I have literally been aching to have him back all day. I did contact him, but he didn't respond. Thank goodness. I'm still not out of the frame of mind to contact him every time something exciting happens, and today was full of excitement. #1. I got a job today. #2. I got a call from a talent agent in LA, and I've been offered a spot in two commercials. I wanted to share it with my baby! But he's not my baby, and he wouldn't care anymore, right? Right. Also. Unless he's talking to that ex of his on a messenger, he's not talking to her anymore. They were strictly talking on facebook outside of their date, and they haven't made visible contact on facebook since their "date". Not to mention his status is still single. I felt fine before! Why am I falling apart now?!
  15. redreine
    Anon~Thanks. I'm working on my issue by myself for now. If it gets worse, I'm going to find someone to talk to, definitely. It's so hard to be so vague, but it is pretty personal. I sent an IM to my ex last night saying pretty much thanks for his concern, but I decided I needed to deal with this on my own. He never responded. Then just now I got online and there was an offline message from him saying he was back...meaning he must not have gotten my message. So he will most likely try to talk to me today when he gets off work. I must admit I'm wanting to talk to him just out of habit, but not out of caring about what is going on in his life or anything. I find it odd that when I first started NC I had no issue with feeling the habited need to talk to him, but now I do. Either way, it can't happen. When we talk to each other, we fall in love all over again. I don't want to hurt the person I'm with now, and even though he is still single, I know he has spent some time with an ex, and if that could go somewhere I don't want to ruin that for him.
  16. redreine
    He hasn't gotten back online yet, so I'm thinking of just telling him thanks but no thanks. In a very polite way, of course.
  17. redreine
    It's not so much a health issue, as a safety issue, and as much as I hate to say it, he is really still my rock. I 100% don't feel comfortable confiding in anybody else about the entire situation. I'm thinking more along the lines of, he would be able to take care of said situation for me, should the need arise...I need a man in this situation. It's hard to explain without divulging...and I don't want to jump to any serious conclusions about the situation just yet.
  18. redreine
    I broke NC. lol It was really lame. I have a personal issue that quite honestly, I feel like the only person I can talk to about it is my ex. He completely ignored me. Had it been some random stupid thing, I wouldn't have cared. But it's something very serious involving my health and safety. I have never lied to him before, not even so much as a little white lie. I don't lie...everyone knows that just isn't my style. I don't know what to think...I'm pretty disturbed at his lack of a reaction. **EDIT** My ex just IM'd me saying he'd be online later, and he would talk to me then. *sigh*
  19. redreine
    UK, I'm not angry at my ex for moving on. I do love him, and I wish him all the happiness in the world. Heck, I've moved on! (His name is Matt...*beams*) I just want him to be still for a moment. Work on himself. I want him to quit hurting others, and to be able to have a real relationship with someone, not only for his sake, but for the sake of his beautiful little girl. I don't think it's ever good to have any real feelings of animosity towards an ex. Never regret something that once made you happy. Lessons were learned, love was had...it just wasn't meant to be...at least not right now. *hugs*
  20. redreine
    I agree with the death sentiment. I told my ex to just try and forget that I existed, and he said he could never forget someone that made such a huge impact on his life. It's like these people don't think about anyone but themselves. If I truly made such a huge impact on your life, if you truly loved me as much as you say you did, we wouldn't be in this mess. Get a clue. You need to shut up and grow up. And for the love of everyone in the dating world, fix your dumb self before pushing your nonsense and heartache upon others! HMPH!
  21. redreine
    My ex is out on a date...and he totally posted so much as his facebook status (which he never does, he's so lazy about facebook) I think he's trying to make me jealous. Funny thing...I thought I WOULD be jealous...but I'm NOT. I've been talking to a bunch of different guys all day today. Two of them seem like definite prospects. I know how my ex works, and he can't keep a relationship together to save his life. Hopefully this works out for him. Hopefully one of these guys works out for me.
  22. redreine
    I told my ex the last time we talked to just forget I exist, and he said he could never do that, that I made too much of an impact on his life. I also told him that we were meant to be together forever, we just weren't meant to be together right now, and he never acknowledged that statement. Knowing him, it was because he knows it to be true, but he's too proud to admit it. The longest it's ever taken him to come back to me has been 2 weeks. I need to figure out how to be strong and tell him we need time to grow before we get back together, assuming he does in fact come back. I just don't know how. I love him, and I know he loves me, but the two of us together right now? Bad juju.
  23. redreine
    UK~I am SO proud of you! As for me. Again, I've lost track of the days. I'm on day 4 or 5. I went out on a date last night and thought about my ex the entire time. My date took me everywhere my ex used to take me, so that was tough. It's tough. Today is the first day since I started NC that I've had the urge to contact my ex. Honestly, I can't believe he hasn't contacted me yet. I think that may mean that he's over me for real this time. I'm afraid to move on.
  24. redreine
    UK, I hate seeing you so sad. You know the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. You need to face your fear, or it will never go away. Get a group of your buddies together, maybe even a female friend, and go where she's going to be, and stare fear right in the face with a big ol' EFF YOU. It'll be hard, but I promise it will make you feel good about yourself. Not only that, but your ex will start to wonder about you and your life.
  25. redreine
    Ok, I know this wasn't addressed to me and I am not a guy, but THIS is a lie. A new girl might make you feel a little better for a minute, but if you aren't over your ex, here's what will happen: 1. You'll compare this girl to your ex, CONSTANTLY. 2. Everything you do with this girl that was something you did with your ex will be awkward. 3. You'll get frustrated with this girl for not doing certain things the way your ex did. 4. You'll get frustrated with this girl FOR doing things the way your ex did. Until you have went through a proper grieving process for this past relationship, your future relationships will suffer. I don't know about all guys, but a good percentage go for that quick rebound relationship to feel good, and it just isn't worth it. In the end you feel worse, you make the rebound girl feel bad, and you make your ex pissed off at you.
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