PutYourBackIntoIt Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 The guy I've been seeing shocked me the other night. We were getting it on, and as soon as he was about to climax, he pulled out and ejaculated on my back. I was completely shocked. I didn't know how to react so I said "Um ok." I felt like a {mod edit}. I don't really know what to make of it, and I haven't talked to him since and honestly I don't care if I ever do. Am I overreacting? Link to comment
Closure Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 To a degree yes you are, to a degree you aren't. It's very odd, has it happened before? Have you spoken about birth control? Is he worried about this? Why aren't you using condoms? If you haven't spoken to him since it's strange as well. It's not very sexy is it, seems a bit degrading to me but some people would find it sexy, i'm not sure how much to read into it. Link to comment
MrKawabata Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Maybe he didn't want to get you pregnant? Link to comment
PutYourBackIntoIt Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 He had a condom on. He pulled out, took it off, and did that. I am so offended, I cried over it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 well, maybe it was something he wanted to try. perhaps he should have asked you first. just tell him you don't like it when he does that and to please not do it again. Link to comment
MrKawabata Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Peeing over your back could be some sort of sexual domination / gratification perhaps? Link to comment
southerngirl Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Yeah, like the others have suggested maybe its something he wanted to try. Talk to him, let him know you didnt like that. Could be he didnt mean to offend you. I would think that was weird too if someone did that to me with no discussion about it. Link to comment
PutYourBackIntoIt Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 LOL if he peed I wouldn't feel as bad. I would chalk it up to him being a freak and nothing to do with me lol. Link to comment
kellbell Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Talk to him about it. Do NOT let this fester. Use the assertive approach: 1. This how I see it... 2. This is it makes me feel... 3. This is what I need from you... By using the *I* approach, you are stating your needs and feelings without being accusatory. He may not have meant any harm but unless you talk to him about it, he is never going to know. Good luck. Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Personally I think you are over reacting to this but, that is my opinion. I could understand if he wanted to cum on your face or something like a pornstar but, he shot on your back. Sometimes I have to admit that finishing up in a condom is not as pleasurable as finishing myself outside the vagina without to condom. I would recommend you talk to your guy and have a discussion about this. Since it bothers you so much I would recommend communication. It is not worth getting yourself sick over this when there is an easy way to resolve this. Link to comment
Closure Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Why didn't he just cum in the condom? Does he plan to re-use it? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 I agree with hubman....How long have you two been seeing eachother? Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 I agree with Hubman as well.....I wouldn't worry about it and if you didn't like it...you should tell him. Link to comment
life_hard Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 You cried over it???? You're taking it WAY too personally...Geeez.... listen... I will try my best to explain some of my experiences and try not to let you know perhaps you're a bit of a prude. I had men who couldn't come at all inside of me, they have issues, not sensitive enough etc etc... it's ALL a mental game... sex is very mental. Just cos he pulled it out doesn't mean he is degrading you, he may find it relieving to take the condom out, he may not want to impregnate you... etc etc... but for crying over it???? I am sorry, you really need to understand the ejaculation mental state of men, there ARE MANY MANY state and variation of what they are thinking, some are complex and some are degrading and some are just very simple.... but please please don't cry over it, it is not about YOU, if you think it is all about YOU, then you're too self centered.... Hey, I know this sound harsh... but I just want to give you a different perspective on this.. sorry if I trully offended you.... Link to comment
robowarrior Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 That with your screenname "PutYourBackIntoIt " this sounds like a parody. Link to comment
missmebaby Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 i think you are definitely overreacting about this. i know plenty of guys that have pulled out and ejaculated on the girl's back or stomach. its a turn on for them and i dont think you should make it into any kind of big deal. ive known good guys that have done it to serious girlfriends that they were in love with, i mean its not like he was trying to disrespect you. hes definitely not the first guy in history that have done that, lots of guys do. if it really bothers you that much then ask him not to do it again, im sure he didnt even know that you would care. Link to comment
Spawn Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 why not communicate with him in a calm yet firm manner that you didn't like it and that perhaps you would have liked it this way Sometimes talking it out helps a lot cause understanding eachothers likes and dislikes is also important. Let him know this but don't make it an issue...take it easy. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Well since you said that you dont care to talk to him any longer then I dont see why this is an issue. He obviously thought it was something that he could get away with doing and you didnt like it. I dont know if something like this should make you feel like a woman of ill repute. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 What he did (in general) does not seem too strange or out of the ordinary, especially if a condom was used. However if he didn't "ask" or "warn" you and just surprised you with it then I could see how it would be unnerving. :splat: (sorry I could not resist the convenient use of the corny icon) In a way you probably felt like your trust was violated since he didn't ask, he just went ahead and did that while your back was to him and you could not see. That is a little bit rude..... if nothing else. If it was in the context of a relationship and/or you plan to sleep with him again I think you should talk to him about it and let him know you're not a big fan. If it was causal sex and you don't plan to talk to him again then I don't think you should worry too much about it. BellaDonna Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Hi there, An old b/f used to like to climax over various bits of me, really hope this isn't too much information! Anyway, I think it was a combination of things, possibly better sensation, but I think he really really liked the visual. It was never degrading, possibly something that has been erotised through porn films (where men *always* are shown to climax visibly, it's the money shot), and that might be why men associate it with great pleasure. But I'm not a man, I don't know. I don't think it means much either way - just tell him that you don't like it. If it upsets you, you should talk about it. But I don't think it's particularly unusual, or degrading, or negative. Sex is such a playground of earthy delights, it's not worth crying over, it's worth finding out what turns each other on and what really *really* doesn't. Was it the surprise factor for you? I'm sorry you feel bad, but don't worry about it too much. Cheers! Link to comment
Beec Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Before telling him anything about how you feel, I would ask him why he did what he did. If you don't like his answer, you can tell him you did not like it. But, maybe he gives you some answer that changes entirely how you feel about what he did. I doubt it, but it's possible. And once, he tells you why, then tell him you did not like it. If you still don't and are sure you don't. Because once you tell him you don't like it, it will probably never happen again. Link to comment
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