I need help! My cheating almost ex-husband is back!

[mgirl]

Just dismiss him as a scummy loser. Jerks like him do whatever fits their fancy without regard for anyone else. You'll never understand why because you're not like him, so don't waste your time with why.

 

Yes, and yes.

[AWomanScorned]

I've decided to continue on with the divorce proceedings. I'm not going to make any attempt at salvaging this relationship. There was nothing to save in the first place. Right after I logged off I telephoned my attorney. He found out quite a few things that I was completely unaware of.

 

 

**While we were married my ex-husband set up an offshore bank account. This was prior to the affair. So I believe he was going to leave me had there been no other woman. He made several investments (behind my back, of course) and they all turned out to be very lucrative. His net worth is estimated at around two and half to three million dollars. So not only did he have millions stashed away in a foreign bank account he cleaned out our savings account leaving me with practically nothing.

 

 

**I discovered that his mistress was 18 weeks pregnant. She and the baby died in the accident. Apparently they had traveled back to the states to go through all the formalities of an official divorce. They were going to marry in the USA and live happily ever after. They also built a house together in Barbados. It hurts the most because Barbados is where we honeymooned.

So as it is, I don't want this snake slithering his way back into my life and heart. I don't care what happens to him now.

 

 

My attorney told me that I am entitled to approximately half of his earnings. Since, legally, I am still his wife I deserve compensation for emotional duress; not to mention losing the house and my job. Right now our lawyers are in talks with one another. I could possibly get a settlement out of this and avoid a court battle, I don't know. All I know is that I'm going through with the divorce no matter what.

 

I just wish I could kill the part of me that is still in love with him.

 

Thank you all so much for your advice.

[avman]

Well I'm glad to hear that AWomanScorned. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing. I do feel it is tragic that the baby was lost in the accident. Regardless of the circumstances the child was innocent and deserved a much better fate than the one it was dealt.

 

You should be proud of yourself for your strength and resolve. You are certainly entitled to half his worth especially since he tried to hide it so go get it.

 

And the love you still have in your heart is something you can't help. Don't feel bad about it. I too still have love for some people that treated me very badly. I know they don't deserve it, but it's there and I just have to live with it. The important thing is that you are being strong and continuing the divorce proceedings so you can move on with your life.

[annie24]

wow! you are doing the right thing. and yes, you are definitely entitled to half his earnings. I think you have definitely earned it. He has definitely put you through enough emotional distress.

 

Hang in there!

[yeawutever]

Yea you're doing the right thing with the divorce proceeding, never look back. Not only is he a lying cheater, but he might have "antisocial personality disorder" (a complete sociopath) but along with it also be a narcistist.

[AWomanScorned]

Is there a year in here when things were not so good between you. If so, may I ask what happened?

 

Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. Before he left me I saw the writing on the wall. They were very subtle clues but they were there.

 

One day he came home late and said that he had met up with some old "friends" from high school. He would go out with this old "friends" to shoot pool and eat dinner. He never allowed me to meet this set of "friends" either. He also began working overtime more frequently as well. This didn't bother me because he's a structural engineer. A career that demanding often requires some over time.

 

And, of course, the times he answered his cellular phone and immediately excused himself from the room to do so.

[kellbell]

I am so glad you are proceeding with the divorce. I am so sorry about everything you have been through. Karma got him good. Let us know how you are doing.

[FoxLocke]

Why in the hell do people like AWS' husband even get married?! What a low down rotten scoundrel!

 

AWS, I know it hurts. But please take all of our advice. You are better off without him. In fact, do yourself a favor and take out a restraining order when he's up and at em again.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Looks like you're getting some great advice, insight and just general comments. I don't know where you're at as it's been a couple days since you've posted this... I'm sorry for all you've been thru and sorry for his accident.

 

I do agree with most here who said, it's tough, but it's not your problem. You are NOT obligated to take care of him and I hope you don't feel like you are. He will find other arragements and life will go on for him.

 

And life will go on for you as well. You've pulled yourself together and have lasted this long. You do not need that man and all the emotional crap he brings.

 

Please keep posting here.

[rajabah]

Break my heart once shame on you,

Break my heart twice shame on me.

[doyathink]

I think he's very lucky that you didn't put a kink in his IV tube when you left the hospital! This man got his fate handed to him three fold and has done you a favor, he has been very busy building YOU a nice little nest egg that you didn't even know about.

 

Go enjoy the money he has worked so hard to keep from you and wish him luck with his new wheel chair!

 

I can't imagine how this may feel having someone you love just pack up and leave w/o any sort of goodby, I think I would probably want to ask 'why' also, but it will most likely be lies anyway.I hope time heals all of your wounds and now you can rest that he has been paid back in full.

[AWomanScorned]

Thank you all so much for the advice

I am in a much better state of mind since I began posting here. Believe it or not, the day I created my enotalone.com account I was going to allow my ex back into my life. I did not tell you all but I had actually consented to taking him in, while he recovered from the injuries. I was fully prepared to nurse him back to health. Now, that isn't even an option for me. My feelings were primarily motivated by my fundamentalist Christian mother who believes in standing by her man(she still thinks we can salvage the relationship). But my ex isn't mine and he sure isn't a man!

 

On Saturday night my best girlfriend got me to stop moping and we went dancing at a gay club. For once I got to have fun without having to meet any guy's expectations. It really helped me to relax and not think about the situation. I needed that.

 

This morning I got a phone call from the hospital again. They needed me there because they were going to release him. But, I told them that I am divorcing him and would not be able to provide him with care. The nurse on the phone did not give me a hard time about it. With the exception of physical injuries he is perfectly fine. He just needs somewhere to lay up basically.

 

My lawyer also called. It turns out that my Husband's attorney wants to settle. He doesn't have a leg to stand on (how ironic that both his legs are broken) in court. The only thing is that my husband and his attorney want to see me in person. My husband wants to have some time to just "talk" before we finalize the whole thing. I know he'll just be full of lies. But I'd rather do this then go through a court battle.

We'll be meeting later this week. He's attending the funeral(s)of his mistress and unborn infant. Then we'll finalize the divorce.

 

Wish me luck.

[yeawutever]

Good to hear you're proceeding with the divorce paper. You're right, you don't have to meet any man's expectation nor salvage a marriage out fo force, there's nothing to salvage. If you do meet with in person, just say you really have nothing to discuss about b/c the divorce is on the way, don't listen to none of his BS.

[doyathink]

I wish you all the best! Congrats on your new life, You have so many open doors to choose from now try to find the things in life that you enjoy, go and indulge, you owe it to yourself.

 

If you don't feel like seeing him in person, then don't! The ball is in your court and you do want you want to do. Good luck!

[annie24]

wow. I really wish you luck and strength!

 

I believe in "standing by your man" also, but there's a difference between "standing by your man" and being foolish to an extreme. He left a long time ago, he decided he wasn't your man.

 

good for you for telling the nurse, you are right, he's fine, just needs to get some rest. if he has that much money, he can hire a nurse for a while and a maid and a cook.

 

you have your gay clubs to go to aren't they the best???

 

(((HUGS)))

 

we are always here for you!

[ChrissyV]

Good for you for taking a stand against the scoundrel once and for all.

You are a strong and courageous woman. Don't ever look back and have no regrets!!!

[Blured]

Your an amazingly brave woman. This story almost seemed like the sort of things you see on daytime soap operas.

[AWomanScorned]

As of now I'm a free woman! thank you all so very much.

[yeawutever]

You're very welcome and glad to hear you're finally divorced, it's good that you're were every strong and never looked back!!!!!!!!

[yeawutever]

Oh and you may post here again if you need more help or have problems, you're free to come here as many times you want to.

[kellbell]

Congrads!! I am so happy things worked out for you. Check in from time to time and let us know how you are doing.

 

(((hugs)))

[coollady1957]

Saw your other thread about ,,,,,,that it was over and done now. I know you are glad of that