Dako Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 So no little fresnodj, sausalitodj or oxnarddj? What a crime! Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 yeah frisco, you might wanna hold off on the vice. leave that job to your wife. i agreed with what you said about people who obsess over getting married. i've seen some of that on this site (no, never from Elektra) and it seems to me that the time to think about getting married is when you actually have someone particular in mind. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I never thought I would actually get married. Heck, I wasn't even sure I wanted to be married. I'd see married couples around me and none of 'em seemed too happy. My parents, while still married seemed to have nothing in common...and they didn't even seem to like each other very much after 30+ years of being married. About the time I hit my mid-30's (36/37) the idea of building a life with someone became appealing. The legal/societal benefits also started to become more important to me than they had been. I'd been single my entire adult life, I'd dated, screwed around, lived with bf's, lived alone, sowed my wild oats, traveled alone, established a career, had my finances in order...so I was feeling like marriage would be a desirable next step. Unfortunately, I was living with a guy who was trying to make up for being married during the sexual revolution. When I left him there were no suitable marriage prospects on the horizion. So, I had pretty much resigned myself to remaining single...it wasn't what I ideally wanted, but I sure as hell wasn't going to settle. Then I met my husband. We wanted the same things from a relationship. We had a similar outlook on life. We thought in similar ways (which leads to us blurting out the same thing at the same time more often than not). Given the choice, would I want to be married just for the sake of being married? Probably not. Do I want to be married to this specific person I am married to? Definitely. Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 yeah frisco, you might wanna hold off on the vice. leave that job to your wife. i agreed with what you said about people who obsess over getting married. i've seen some of that on this site ( no, never from Elektra) and it seems to me that the time to think about getting married is when you actually have someone particular in mind. I hope you were serious and not mocking me? Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I hope you were serious and not mocking me?100% mock-free. in fact, i mentioned you specifically because i didn't want you to think my post was somehow directed at you, since your name had previously come up in that context in this thread. Link to comment
melrich Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 And after reading this post, I now think I'd rather turn my nuts inside out than get married... If you want to eliminate all risks in life, stay in bed....and even that entails risk. Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 So no little fresnodj, sausalitodj or oxnarddj? What a crime! Well, I didn't say that. What will probably end up happening is I'll find some young, naive, unsuspecting, impressionable young lady, knock her up, make sure it's a boy, convince her to give him my last name, and then proceed directly back to the couch, the 6-pack, and the X-Box with my buddies... Genius...really...pure genius... P.S. Those are all good names! I'm going to use one of those! Link to comment
Scout Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 yeah frisco, you might wanna hold off on the vice. leave that job to your wife. I know this was meant to be humorous. But I gotta say, we hear so many jokes that women become ballbusters once they are wives, and perhaps this is why so many young men are anti-marriage when they've never tried it. Society is telling them that we women basically are shrews who want complete control over "our" men. Link to comment
Dako Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 A great plan, friscy! Methinks you jest... Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I know this was meant to be humorous. But I gotta say, we hear so many jokes that women become ballbusters once they are wives, and perhaps this is why so many young men are anti-marriage when they've never tried it. Society is telling them that we women basically are shrews who want complete control over "our" men.Scout, if you read my posts in this thread, my pro-marriage stance will become as crystal-clear to you as it is to frisco. the subtle meaning behind my balls/vice/wife line was that i do expect that he will one day marry despite his current misgivings. Link to comment
Scout Posted June 22, 2006 Author Share Posted June 22, 2006 Well...I'm not sure if i get a crystal clear sense of your stance on marriage, but that wasn't really the point of what I just said. And I don't mean to pick on you. But, it gets tiring hearing even in jest some of the same old jokes about wives/marriage. Just as I'm sure it's tiring for men to hear certain jokes about their gender. I'm getting - no, leaping - off my soapbox now. Link to comment
Dako Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I see your point, Scout. I have no beef with women. They're wonderful. I'm disillusioned by marriage. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 yeah frisco, it really should be as you describe it. in many happy cases, it is. i still believe in marriage. i like to think that by this time i've learned what warning signs to watch out for, and that one day i will have someone with whom i can exchange vows that last a lifetime. yes, i have some horror stories, but i blame neither women in general nor marriage for them. i falls off my bike, i gets back on... when the time is right. wait, is this is one of "those" touchy subjects? maybe i'd better do... THIS! *leaps from soapbox* Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 yes, i have some horror stories, but i blame neither women in general nor marriage for them. i falls off my bike, i gets back on... when the time is right. wait, is this is one of "those" touchy subjects? maybe i'd better do... THIS! *leaps from soapbox* SB and Scout heck Frisco and Dako let us all join in on a group hug. SHEESH!! Not all women are shrews Not all men are commitment phobes Not all marriages are bad Not all marriages are good Not all are bound to end Not all are bound to last In my little ol opinion how can you knock something until you try it and how can you give up on something after 1 fall? Cheers!! Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I'm not hugging you Scout, that one guy on the right there in your avatar scares me... Link to comment
Lily04 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 hmm. I never read any of the other replies after mine, but I just wanted to point out that I think mine is the VALID response (as always) Link to comment
vesper Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I have to agree with some previous posters that infedility is usually a reaction to something else that is unfulfilling. hmmmmm It is very very difficult to say *honey, I love you so much, but I just don't feel like being married to you anymore* It is very very easy to commit an *act* that crystalizes the problems of the relationship. It is a challenge. It is just another test. As for marriage, I am all for it. I think it is truly the best way to tell the *world* that you love someone. I don't think it should always be forever as that to me seems sometimes unrealistic and fairy tale like thinking. The worst thing about marriage is that everyone thinks that its all over when you get married. That somehow you don't have to worry anymore and that you live *happily ever after* That in fact is the farthest thing from the truth. There is never one act that frees you from the responsibility of life, living, caring, loving, working, and being. Exept *death* I am happy that I got married, having a wedding is like having a big party with all of your favorite people there to celebrate a love that you share with someone so deep that you want everyone to know. I do think that it is ok if it happens multiple times. Be glad that you shared your life with someone. My view of marriage has completely changed after I got married. It is like you go to the 'other side' all of a sudden and you are not allowed to still be who you are. You have to be able to stay *you* above all else. Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I'm not hugging you Scout, that one guy on the right there in your avatar scares me... Well then how about you give me a hug? I wont bite ;-) lol Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Well then how about you give me a hug? I wont bite ;-) lol You got it...here it is... Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I have a question for the people who were married and have experienced divorce...... Why is it you say your happy/healthy, doing things for you, and have moved on from that time? Although in the next breath you are finished with marriage or the word marriage sends you running the other way???? I have known a few divorced people and they all seem to have that POV. I guess it's just how much he has pissed me off that day or what I have found out that he has done-again-. Sometimes being in the dark is bliss cause when you step into the light you don't always like what you will see (what he hath done this time)! Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I won't remarry because my faith in marriage is gone. I really hate to admit it, but I think your right Dako. Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 And after reading this post, I now think I'd rather turn my nuts inside out than get married... If I had any (didn't last time I looked anyway) I think I would opt for this also before I would re-marry! Maybe I'll try growing some in the garden this year, pass the pliers! Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Maybe I'll try growing some in the garden this year, pass the pliers! Link to comment
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