Why are Men Intimidated by Intelligent Women?

[New_Horizons]

Wow, aren't you just the nicest guy on the block. I should definitly start acting smarter so that I can nab myself a guy like you!

 

Well, a woman of your supreme intelligence should know to appreciate humor Being a nice guy doesn't stop me from getting annoyed when women show their lack of intelligence, coupled with an arrogant snootiness. It's this combination that really irks me. A woman (or man )who is humble and willing to learn is never stupid in my book.

[rocio]

Well, a woman of your supreme intelligence should know to appreciate humor Being a nice guy doesn't stop me from getting annoyed when women show their lack of intelligence, coupled with an arrogant snootiness. It's this combination that really irks me. A woman (or man )who is humble and willing to learn is never stupid in my book.

 

Having violent thoughts toward someone just because they used a calculator is funny?

 

Maybe she makes mistakes when she's under pressure and wanted to double-check her answers.

 

I fail to see the humor from up here in my supremacy.

[New_Horizons]

Well I don't think I have the time to give you the whole background here...it's not just about the calculator. It will suffice to say that women who are intelligence-challenged are scarcely in a position to judge or criticize the intelligence of others. I am far more willing to put up with an arrogant genius than an arrogant shmuck. Lots of women have rejected me because I wasn't dumb enough and I refused to dumb myself down for them. Finding an intelligent woman is tough work.

[moonbeam111]

She might be incredibly smart and might have a learning disability at the same time. So what if she needs to use a calculator to get through the test? You don't really know but you already hate her. Is it an intelligent guess or you just measure everybody by the same standards?

 

A large part of being intelligent is being curious and approach the world with a presumption that you know nothing and want to discover something new.

[melrich]

OK guys..no one is going to win an argument about which gender is more intelligent so let's cut out the sniping.

 

The thread has been very popular and we don't want to have to close it due to flaming.

 

Cheers.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I wrote an exam today and the girl sitting next to me was using a calculator for simple math problems. I wanted to smack her in the face

 

Yikes, remind me not to sit next to you. I happen to be bad at simple math, but can do eigenvectors, Laplace transforms, differential equations and orbital mechanics with no problem, most of my errors on exams are due to simple math mistakes.

 

Is it really stupid to use all the tools you have available? No, its not.

 

Does it really matter how she was taking the exam or was it your personal experiences with her in the past that make you want to do that?

[Spugly Fuglet]

as the dumbist member of ena, I thinks she who had the biggest brain wins,

[Daddy Bear]

hey, them's fightin' words! i'm WAY dumber than you! shall we take it outside, or can we just shake hands and agree that we're both dumber than the women around here?

[CarnelianButterfly]

Oh, please gentlemen, don't you just need a tape measure to decide all "mines ___ than yours"...

Here try this just put this scale at the bottom of the screen and measure report you findings an I will judge.

 

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[Miss M]

SF and SB are kidding, right? It so happens that I've got them both ranked pretty high on the IQ scale, (unofficially of course, but it still counts in my book ).

[Daddy Bear]

Here try this just put this scale at the bottom of the screen and measure report you findings an I will judge.

 

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haha... my monitor is cold.

[Salucious]

Oh, please gentlemen, don't you just need a tape measure to decide all "mines ___ than yours"...

Here try this just put this scale at the bottom of the screen and measure report you findings an I will judge.

 

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Can you use 2 scales together?

[Survictor]

I think that men do prefer to feel superior in a relationship. Genetics and all. And I do feel that whilst there are some super intelligent women, they have to work super hard to find their place in business, adademia etc.

 

I don't consider myself to be highly intelligent, but I am not dim either. I prefer art personally, whilst my husband is a scientist. Sometimes, he does treat me as if I am inferior (sighs and rolls his eyes) but I this is because of his own insecurities, not mine. You put someone down to elevate your own position and if he has to try to make me feel small in that way, then he is beneath me in some respects.

 

Lots of guys are threatened by strong, sexual, intelligent women. They cannot resist rising to what they consider to be a challenge and thereforeeee, any romantic thoughts are quickly quashed in the race.

[rocio]

Agreed. But I also feel like a lot of intelligent women are a little too outspoken. I mean, you can't be too pushy. For example, I have a cousin who always had trouble finding boyfriends because she was so outspoken. She's a great, smart girl and she has a husband now. But she is sooooo pushy. I mean, he can't even drive without her picking on him, and criticizing which road he took. He's not even allowed to have a single thought of his own. So, for men or women, it's great to have opinions, but it's also nice to be gentle about it and let other people have opinions too, ya know?

 

Oh, and that's too bad about your husband. Must be frusterating at times.

[rocio]

Oh, and about the calculator... New Horizons and I were just having a playful conversation.

 

I have seen people do 2+2 on their calculator just out of laziness. ugh

[New_Horizons]

Lots of guys are threatened by strong, sexual, intelligent women. They cannot resist rising to what they consider to be a challenge and thereforeeee, any romantic thoughts are quickly quashed in the race.

 

I guess it depends on how these women use their strength. If they're 'stuck up', or overly critical like Amber's cousin, then men would either be turned off or they'd try to outsmart her. But an intelligent woman who doesn't make a big deal of it is the most attractive woman there could be. Still like I said, a stuck up intelligent woman is still way more attractive than a stuck up not-so-intelligent woman

[CarnelianButterfly]

But what constitutes being stuck up?

 

I've been told people think I'm stuck up because I like to talk and debate and often use my readings and knowledge to form my retorts or views. I don't see that as being stuck up, I see it as being able to engage in good rhetoric. Would the men I'm debating with be considered stuck up?

[rocio]

Personally, I find that people sound stuck up when they just regurgitate stuff they read in an effort to sound smart. Or when they use big words, but they don't know what those words mean or they could have communicated the same message using much smaller words.

 

Those are just my pet peeves.

[vermilion]

Personally, I find that people sound stuck up when they just regurgitate stuff they read in an effort to sound smart. Or when they use big words, but they don't know what those words mean or they could have communicated the same message using much smaller words.

 

Those are just my pet peeves.

 

Ugh, I hate this.

 

My current big crush does this- he actually is a smart guy though. He just tries to impress people. But the only people impressed are the ditzy girls who say, "Oh my god, wow, how do you know so many words?TEE-HEE

 

Also, he used to be interested in me when I was shy and insecure months ago. Now that I'm more confident and say what I think he seems repelled. I've corrected him or out-smarted him during class and debate too many times and I think he's embarrassed because I'm younger and female. So now he's into dumb girls...

 

I guess it's insecure guys that aren't "attracted to" more intelligent women. They want to be seen as the dominant person and feel threatened by intelligence.

[New_Horizons]

I've been told people think I'm stuck up because I like to talk and debate and often use my readings and knowledge to form my retorts or views.

 

No, that sounds fine to me. I just don't like girls who have an attitude, for any reason.

[Miss M]

But what constitutes being stuck up?

 

I've been told people think I'm stuck up because I like to talk and debate and often use my readings and knowledge to form my retorts or views. I don't see that as being stuck up, I see it as being able to engage in good rhetoric. Would the men I'm debating with be considered stuck up?

No matter how NON-stuck up you are, no matter how gracious and spacious you are with your opinions, if you're extremely intelligent there will ALWAYS be someone (sometimes a guy) who will feel you're being overly "stuck up." Yeah, it's really good to give some consideration to if you're being too snooty, but there's simply no way to make enough accommodations in your behavior to soothe every guy's fragile ego. The key is to find what level of humility and self-acceptance is comfortable and suitable for you, and then not let those scared and small-minded types of men get to you. (And yes, I know... it's much easier said than done. Ironically, when you feel completely content with yourself, some of them (but not all) will even feel less inclined to regard you as stuck up. But still, there will always be some that will plaster that "stuck up" label on you. But if you're truly NOT stuck up, that simply tells you more about them and their insecurities than it does about you.

[Batya33]

But what constitutes being stuck up?

 

I've been told people think I'm stuck up because I like to talk and debate and often use my readings and knowledge to form my retorts or views. I don't see that as being stuck up, I see it as being able to engage in good rhetoric. Would the men I'm debating with be considered stuck up?

 

I don't think being intelligent has anything to do with being branded as "stuck up." I think any time an insecure person perceives him or herself as not as bright as someone else, the insecure person may retaliate by using the "stuck up" label. To me someone who behaves in a condescending way is behaving badly and lacks social intelligence. Very often, those who behave that way lack "academic" intelligence as well. By contrast, some of the most humble (but not weak or passive) people I know are the most brilliant.

[New_Horizons]

I don't think being intelligent has anything to do with being branded as "stuck up."

 

Exactly my point. But going a bit deeper, intelligent people at least have an excuse *if* they are that way, albeit a weak and unwanted one. Others have no excuse at all, which is why they (the latter) are impossible to be attracted to.

I don't think any real man would be afraid of an intelligent, independent, strong and humble woman. If you find you're turning guys off, you're either not humble enough or that particular guy was just too insecure and/or egoistic.

[melrich]

If you find you're turning guys off, you're either not humble enough or that particular guy was just too insecure and/or egoistic.

 

I think this thread has lost the plot when we are distilling attraction or relationship success down to who is more intelligent and how the person of greater or lesser intelligence handles said status.

 

There comes a point in any argument where really both sides are talking to themselves.

[Batya33]

Exactly my point. But going a bit deeper, intelligent people at least have an excuse *if* they are that way, albeit a weak and unwanted one. Others have no excuse at all, which is why they (the latter) are impossible to be attracted to.

I don't think any real man would be afraid of an intelligent, independent, strong and humble woman. If you find you're turning guys off, you're either not humble enough or that particular guy was just too insecure and/or egoistic.

 

I don't agree that intelligent people have any basis to justify being "stuck up." While I am not a fan of playing "dumb" I do think that people should use words/vocabulary that are accessible given the surroundings - definitely not in a talking down way (!) but rather with a goal of establishing rapport. No, I am not going to speak in "slang' or curse just because others are doing that around me but I believe in speaking in a concise and understandable way - a one dollar word instead of a ten dollar word even if I "know" the ten dollar word.