Yep. I'm pregnant. Oh well.

[cichlid]

My question now is just should I tell the father? He's a senior in high school and was already accepted to a college and I don't want to mess up his plans for something that was my fault.

It's his fault too...he put his penis in you.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

well don't start planning anytihng yet, you don't even know if your pregnant or not

[Ians Mommy]

I know. I guess I should tell him and give him the choice if he wants to be a part of this baby's life.

 

This was the main reason why I posted this thing. Just to get advise on if I should tell him or not.

 

Anyway, it's 11:22 (eastern time) and I have to get up for school in the morning so I'll answer whatever anyone posts tomorrow when I get home.

[Ians Mommy]

I took 2 tests and they were both positive so I'm pretty much sure that I am pregnant.

[Serendipity1607307077]

 

My question now is just should I tell the father? He's a senior in high school and was already accepted to a college and I don't want to mess up his plans for something that was my fault.

 

It's difficult, but I would definitely tell him. Every father has the right to see his child. Having said this, the father should put in effort as their mother does. My sister-in-law to be has problems with her ex and custody issues and it's not pretty!

 

The other decision you need to make, is if you tell him about your child, are you going to make the choice to raise this child on your own? Will the father be there and/or move in with you or pay child support?

 

Things can be a bit overwhelming when it comes to babies, but from what I have heard and seen, being a mother is a wonderful experience. Someone mentioned in here before that you will have to be careful seeing you have had a miscarriage before as it now makes your pregnancy a high risk one.

[friscodj]

Have you considered adoption? I sense this isn't something you'd consider but I think it might be a viable option for you nonetheless...

[Meow18]

Ok, the point is not that she was trying to get pregnant last year. The point is that she is most likely pregnant now. There's no need to lecture her on how it's "wrong" of her to be pregnant now. She's obviously willing to deal with the huge responsibilities, so let's not lecture her on why she shouldn't have a child and focus on the fact that she is going to have a child.

 

I would wait til you tell the dad. He for sure should know, but not until you know for sure. There's no need to tell him that you are pregnant when you aren't for sure. But I would tell him soon after you find out.

 

I hope you have a lot of support with all this. THat's so important, and especially at such a young age. Have you told your parents?

 

You obviously seem to know that having a baby is a huge huge huge responsibility. Basically for the next 18 years your life is going to revolve around this child. It will no longer be about just you. You can't really prepare for it either, so that's why support is helpful.

 

But you know what, no matter how old or young, having a baby is hard work. As long as you are happy about having this child, and you really want the best for him or her, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure this baby has a good life, then I think you will be just fine.

[Ians Mommy]

I'm keeping my baby. If my parents force me to either have an abortion or adopt the baby out, I'll move out.

 

Thanks Maggie18, atleast someone gets why I posted on here.

 

I have an appointment on Friday so after I find out what's going on, then I'll probably tell my parents.

[Meow18]

I'm keeping my baby. If my parents force me to either have an abortion or adopt the baby out, I'll move out.

 

Thanks Maggie18, atleast someone gets why I posted on here.

 

I have an appointment on Friday so after I find out what's going on, then I'll probably tell my parents.

 

 

What do you mean you will "probably" tell your parents? Honestly, they might get mad or upset, but they are your parents. They need to know. Once they get over the shock, they will suport you. At least they will if they are caring parents.

Don't wait too long to tell them, cause it would only be normal for them to be in shock at first. It's always better to get that over with sooner than later.

[Ians Mommy]

I'm going to tell my parents eventually. I never told them about the baby when I was pregnant last year.

 

My mom is having her L4 vertebrae fused today and will be in the hospital until atleast Saturday at the earliest and I'll tell her once she's healed some because stress can't be good on her back.

[Ians Mommy]

Well, I went to the doctors on Friday. My due date is October 22nd and I'm 8 weeks. I got the hear the baby's heartbeat. It was faint (that might just be because I have really bad hearing) but it was definitely there. They said that the baby seems healthy and I have an appointment again in a month.

 

I'm planning on telling my parents in a couple weeks. I called the father and asked him to pick me up later on Friday and when he asked what was wrong, I told him. At first he didn't know what to say but then he grabbed me and gave me a huge hug and said that we'll get through this together. We're not together as a couple but we're going to raise this baby together.

 

Now just onto telling my parents eventually.

[Hope75]

Glad to hear the baby is healthy and that you have the support of the father and are on good terms with him.

 

Mind if I ask how old he is?

 

Does he have a stable job?

 

How do you think your parents will take it? Will you be able to finish high school? I hope you can, it's so important for you and this baby to get your education- no one can take that away from you.

[Ians Mommy]

He's 18, he'll be 19 in August.

 

He does have a job but lately he hasn't been working a lot because he was on his high school wrestling team but it's over now so he'll probably start picking up more days again.

 

My mom, eh, she'll probably be okay. She was teen mom herself so she really can't judge me. My dad on the other hand, will probably want to murder me. I really can't tell you what's going to happen because even I don't know. and thats why I'm waiting to tell them.

 

Yep, I'll be able to finish high school. My district has an alternative high school where you go from only 2:30 until 6:30 and work during they day and the have a free babysitting thing.

[GottaLetItBurn]

Girls that get pregnant at an early age have VERY low self esteem.

 

One of my friends had a baby his senor your with a girl that was a junor. His life is over, she owns his * * * for the next 18 years. She is nasty and goes out to clubs cause no guys want her.

 

My brothers EX tried to get pregnant so she could get him for money she thinks our family has. Girls that get pregnant young are looked down apon as desperate and after something.

 

My cousin has 3 babies and is 23. She has no money and is always asking my huge family for help. Luckily we give her lot's of clothes, and she is barely making it on her own.

 

You don't want to have a baby. You will regret it. That is not something that you can say. "Gee im sure glad I had a baby at 16 and enjoyed my years while I was young"

 

 

HAve sex all you want, have sex everyday. Have as many boyfriends as you ca get, then have sex with them. Just make them use condoms, and take the pill. Be a safe girl.

 

Don't have a baby, with some guy you think as all great right now. You will waste your life away. You say your mom was a "teen mom". That is not something to be proud of, and not something to follow the foot steps of.

 

Good luck with life.

[Hope75]

Gotta,

 

Girls that get pregnant at an early age have VERY low self esteem...Girls that get pregnant young are looked down apon as desperate and after something.

 

That is a pretty gross and ignorant generalization based on a few people that you know. While it is not always the best choice and at times it is an accident, and I am sure that SOME young girls fit your cookie cutter description, that does not mean that EVERY girl who becomes pregnant young is "after something" or has low self esteem".

 

The fact is that young people ARE having sex, for many reasons, hormones, the "adult-like" feeling and responsibility that comes with it, misguided feelings of attraction or affection, the novelty and yes, peer pressure as well.

 

And while I agree that in all likelihood there are teens who are not ready for the responsibilities that come along with sex (i.e. the risk of pregnancy, potential STD's, etc) the fact that some do get pregnant is a consequence of sex at ANY age, there are plenty of 30 year olds who get pregnant when they are not expecting it or prepared for it as well.

 

As for them being looked down on, there are teens who are raising babies on their own with very little outside help and still going to school and getting an education, working and being a role model for these babies and again while that is not IDEAL...is works for some teen parents, and to those parents I look UP- I couldn't imagine raising a child at 16 or 17- giving up my youth and freedom so early and surrendering my life over to my child.

 

Through all this I am not condoning teen pregnancy. I agree that in the long run a family has a better chance if the parents are a little older, have a college education under their belt, are married or in a committed and stable relationship, have a safe home to provide their child (preferably not their parent's..) the finances to provide comfortably for the child and themselves, and life experience that only comes with age, but if and when it happens, teens need support and not insult.

 

Please think before you speak next time.

 

One of my friends had a baby his senor your with a girl that was a junor. His life is over, she owns his * * * for the next 18 years. She is nasty and goes out to clubs cause no guys want her.

 

And your friend layed down and made this baby with this so called *nasty* girl who is the mother of his child- she does not "own" him- this is not about her. They are co-parents of a baby- that they created together.

[Ians Mommy]

Thanks Hope. I was about to say half of that stuff myself.

 

I'm 16 years old and A LOT more mature than most 16 year olds.

 

 

Just so you know, I WAS ON THE PILL. I'm not a * * * *. I have been with 3 people and I have known all of them for over 2 years before I ever did ANYTHING with them. As for self-esteem, it has nothing to do with why I am pregnant right now. I never turned to having sex with guys to prove to myself that I can get someone.

 

Before you tell me "why" I got pregnant, get to know me first.

 

Thank you Hope for saying something before I even had a chance to.

 

Oh yeah, and I'm definitely not desperate and looking for money. I have a job and I'm going to raise this baby on my own money. If you read the post, you would have realized that because the post was mainly about if I should even tell the dad because I didn't want to ruin his plans for college. Yeah, I don't think that's self-centered and looking for money.

[yeawutever]

Ok, good to hear the father is supporting you. So have you told any of your parents about it because they definitely need to know.

[Ians Mommy]

Not yet. My mom had major back surgery and is still recovering and the stress of telling her wouldn't be good so I'm just going to wait until she heals more and can take the stress better.

[didyoumissme]

Any new updates lately on anything? Have you told your parents , yet?

Good Luck!

[Ians Mommy]

No, I haven't told them yet.

 

I have morning sickness like crazy except for half the time, it lasts all day long.

[Scout]

Well...you're definitely in for some challenging times ahead, but I do have to say you come accross as remarkably strong for someone so young. I sense you'll be a very loving and protective mother.

[Ians Mommy]

I can say now that I'm only going to be a protective mom to a point. Growing up, I was so sheltered that I had to go behind my parents back to do basically anything.

 

To put it this way, I was never allowed to go out or to a friends house until I was 13. I never slept over anyone's house (even family) until I was 14.

 

I don't want my baby to grow up with the same kind of parents that I had, plus, it's not like I won't be able to figure out on my own what he or she is doing considering I have played every trick in the books to get away with stuff.

[Scout]

Right, but just be sure you don't try to be a "friend" more than a parent. Kids need and want appropriate boundaries.

[latina07]

Hey, Im 24 Years Old And Got Pregnate When I Was 20. It Was The Hardest Thing For Me. It's Still Super Hard. The Father Is In Jail And I Get No Help At All. A Baby Is A Life. What Are We Females Thinking Sometimes. Now Ur Pregnate U Cant Do Anything About It But To Asume Ur Responsibilty Like A Grown Woman. I Did And Im Very Proud Of It. But It's The Hardest Journey That Ive Ever Had To Travel. Honey, You Gotta Grow Some Balls From Now On. Sorry To Say That, It's Not Easy. Good Luck

[Ians Mommy]

I know that having and raising this baby is the hardest thing I'm ever going to do. I've fallen in love with him or her already and I'm ready to do whatever I had to to give it the best life I can. I might only be 16 but I'd give my life for my son or daughter and honestly, I think I'm going to be a pretty good parent.