The Death of a Friend - a Murder Unsolved

[Scout]

Avman, read the new details, and I am just so angry. I can only imagine how you must be feeling, as this was a close friend of yours.

 

Thank you for posting this in the abusive relationships forum. Please, to anyone who is in an abusive relationship, you can clearly see how the violence escalates. You don't have to become a victim. There is a lot of help available to you, and I believe that a decade later, the laws are much more stricter against abusers.

 

Please, please seek help if you need it.

[Itsok]

I offer my deepest sympathies to you Avman, and my prayers are with you.

[Hope75]

Avman,

 

This story is just so upsetting. I'm in tears as I read this.

 

I hope that you can find some solace in knowing that by letting others know what happened to your friend, that perhaps with your help, she can save another person from this fate. If so, her death was not in vain.

 

My prayers are with you and her family.

[avman]

Thank you all so much for your support. I've forwarded this thread to my friends and asked them to forward it on to others in the hope that it reaches those people who need to see it most.

 

As I absorb this more and more I am turning more towards resolve than anything else. If her death can save one person who is reading this right now then it is not in vain - as Hope75 has so eloquently put it. It does indeed give me some solace and hope for the future. It is what she would have wanted and I know she's watching this even now.

 

I do wish you all could have known her. She would have brought a smile to your face and sunshine to your heart.

[DN]

I do wish you all could have known her. She would have brought a smile to your face and sunshine to your heart

 

Through your words she just did.

[Hope75]

I do wish you all could have known her. She would have brought a smile to your face and sunshine to your heart.

 

Ditto here. I hope that through her daughter she still will.

[Relationship Coach]

Avman,

 

I'm very sorry for your loss and I respect your efforts to ensure that her daughter will know how beautiful and loved her mother was. There is not a statute of limitations for murder and there is always a chance that justice will be served. Unfortunately this seldom is an isolated incident and violent crimes such as this can create habitual offenders. If it was her husband, he more than likely will continue his abusive ways and hopefully will be caught before he goes too far again. Getting away with murder is in itself a life-long sentence of looking over your shoulder.

Best Wishes,

 

RC

[ilovecats]

Avman,

I am so sorry for your loss! Reading this just makes me want to cry.All I can say is hang in there.Be strong.I am so sad right now that this has happened.I just don't understand why people have to be so cruel.This is just awful! I'll pray for u and your friend.Her daughter as well.

[ShySoul]

Something similar happened in my family. A cousin was found dead years ago, presumably her boyfriend had something to do with it as they were mixed up in drugs. She had a two year old and a baby that was a few months old. I don't believe the case was ever solved. He mother took custody of the kids, but they have had to live their whole lives pretty much without there mother.

 

Avman, I'm thinking of you and hoping you are ok.

 

Let this be a lesson to each of us to treat each person we meet with kindness and respect, because we never know what they might be going through. A kind word may help encourage them to fight and get out of the circumstances they are in. And if you know of anyone in such a situation, get them help and do what you can for them.

[sonjam]

Oh Avman, I am so sorry... Time is not relevant when a person is grieving, and the fact that you only found out now, means she only died for you now. Having kids of my own, and having been in an abusive relationship, I feel it so much more.

 

Make the little girls mother live through all of you that knew her, send photo's and letters, telling her about her mother, oh, I'm so sad, right now!!

 

And yes, like hope said, spread the word, help even one soul to get out, and you made a difference in a lot of people's lives!!

 

I will light a candle for her, her child and you tonight, you are in my thoughts.

[Shadows Light]

Aveman.. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It is truly a tragic story.

Seredipity being what it is... I'm currently doing much soul searching and research into VERBAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, that leads into PHYSICAL abuse. I hope that your post does trigger or spark people to think. And tell people that they NEED not keep silent. Or NEED not keep secrets to themselves. These type of secrets are NOT thier shame... and shouldn't be hidden.

 

A very good website for VA and EA is link removed I found it very helpful. Many artilces for men and women on what constitutes abuse and what to do about it. How to protect themselves and thier children.

 

Again... my prayers go out toyou AVEMAN and to your friends little girl.

[sidehop]

I'm very sorry to hear avman. That would crush me if any close friend of mine died in such way.

 

I wish you the very best and all the people including her family and anyone that was close to her

[HaloDestroyer]

Surreal, isn't it?

 

My condolences.

 

Hope this helps...

[dgn85girl]

avman - I don't know who you are, but I am from the DGN class of '85 also and I knew Tami. I also learned of her death shortly after our 20th reunion. I found out after sharing Tami's address which was listed in the reunion book with another friend so that she could write to Tami. This friend was a college roommate of Tami's but they had lost touch over the past many years. Well, this friend was horrified after doing a google search to find more info on Tami, to come accross the web articles you mentioned regarding Tami's murder. She emailed me back to tell me she was devastated. I was completely shocked that her life could have ended so tragically, most likely at the hands of her own husband. I was equally amazed to realize that no one in our class knew about Tami's death. So I contacted our class reunion organizer to tell her. She was also a friend of Tami's in high school and was deeply saddened to hear about it. She then decided to start the fundraising efforts on behalf of Tami's daughter.

 

Anyway, I also live in Minnesota and since I was not able to tell your identity from this post, I just wanted to contact you and say that this tragic loss has touched all of us in some way. It's not possible to make sense of it. Just cherish the special memories you have of Tami. Remember her that way, and pray for her daughter. Hopefully justice will be served some day - if her murder is ever solved. I too, would love to see closure here and have her husband serve jail time if he is indeed the killer....Hang in there, and hello from a fellow DGN class of 85 student!

 

 

 

______________________________________________________________

Thank you all for your kind words. I don't know what else to say except I truly appreciate your support and understanding. I have never had anything like this happen before so I'm just having a lot of trouble coming to terms with this.

 

mgirl, I really doubt there is anything I can do to get her case re-opened. I know nothing about the details of the investigation and I certainly don't have any new leads for them to look toward to solve things. But thank you for your words. I can only hope and pray that someday the person responsible will be brought to justice.

[avman]

I sent you an email. I'm sure we probably know each other since it was a fairly tight knit group back then. But even if we don't I'm so glad you found our website and got in touch.

 

If google has indexed this then the word is being spread and her memory will live on. She has not died for nothing.

[NewsGuy]

To Avman

You may be interested to know that today - Jan 19/07, the Oakland County Prosecutors office announced it is charging Daniel Pittao with killing Tamara. Daniel was arrested yesterday at Detroit airport. He's to appear in court today.

[Palexa99]

Hi Avman,

I am also a friend of Tamara's living in Novi MI. Yes, Daniel was arrested yesterday at DTW and was arraigned today in Novi district court. I was at the press conference this afternoon and the detectives did a brilliant job. In the end it was Tamara's simple mistake of leaving him as beneficiary on her insurance policy at work. The detectives had the insurance company contact Dan to ask if he would be collecting (eight years later) or they will turn the money over to his daughter who is in the care of Tamara's parents (I was also at the custody trial).

 

When we was depositioned for the money his inconsistencies were "grossly contradictory" of prior testimony regarding Tamara's murder. Because of that he is being held without bond awaiting trial this summer, early fall.

 

Justice has been served while it's been long in coming. Danielle is beautiful and just made the basketball team.

 

It was a glorious day in Novi today! The tradegy is Tamara is not here to share in our happiness.

[avman]

Thank God for that. I did find the article and I'm so glad to see that justice will be done even 10 years later.

 

Now the challenge is convicting him which I do hope closes the chapter on this brutal event.

 

I'm so glad to hear that Danielle is doing well and I have no doubt she is beautiful.

 

Thanks to both of you for posting and letting me know about the recent events. I'll be following the trial closely.

[avman]

Well as promised I have been following the trial of the murder closely. Sadly, the trial ended on Friday Feb 8, 2008 with a hung jury. So there has been a mistrial and everyone will have to go through it all again.

 

For those who have followed the story, here is a link to the mistrial notice:

link removed

 

Anyone who is still involved in an abusive relationship should leave immediately. I know it is hard but you must be strong and get out while you still can. My friend left too late and her husband may never truly be punished. But it is not too late for you.

[BellaDonna]

Sadly, the trial ended on Friday Feb 8, 2008 with a hung jury. So there has been a mistrial and everyone will have to go through it all again.

 

I am so sorry to hear that. It's a shame that her killer has not been brought to justice yet, and that her family and friends can't get a tiny bit of closure from justice.

[jsuzanne]

I thought you might want to know that the second trial ended last week and the jury came back today with a verdict. Daniel Pittao was found guilty of pre-meditated, first-degree, murder. My thoughts are with Tamara's friends and family. It's been a terrible journey and I hope that this brings some sort of closure.

[avman]

I had heard the jury was deliberating today but did not know they reached a verdict.

 

Thanks so much for posting this. I will rest much easier knowing this man will finally face justice!

[avman]

Here is the press release of the guilty verdict.

 

link removed

[Gibney girl]

he was convicted today of 1st degree murder. Finally, justice.

[avman]

he was convicted today of 1st degree murder. Finally, justice.

 

I did Gibney Girl. Another person was good enough to post and let me know. I am so thankful for this.

 

It does not bring her back but at least this man will never be able to bring harm to anyone else.