Luciana Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 It nauseating Beec. I am not sure how your "involved relationship" allowed this. And I can't understand how you do not get your kicks from other healthier activities, like sports and arts. You don't see it, but I am sure if you GF liked to have men's penises "shaken" on her face (and in some clubs the women actually put the Ps in their mouths) you would be a bit bothered. if you enjoy the company of very dumb and uneducated women, fine, also fine if you are single and horny, but if you are in a relationship, it's outrageous. It all depends on how yourpartner sees it. If your GF doesn't mind that another woman rubs her p*** in your c***, than all the power to her. But most do. Link to comment
Luciana Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Great answer Vanilla! You are starting your life with self respect. Beec has to find a woman who doesn't mind these things. Or one who works in the sex industry herself. Link to comment
lunatic Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 It nauseating Beec. I am not sure how your "involved relationship" allowed this. And I can't understand how you do not get your kicks from other healthier activities, like sports and arts. You don't see it, but I am sure if you GF liked to have men's penises "shaken" on her face (and in some clubs the women actually put the Ps in their mouths) you would be a bit bothered. if you enjoy the company of very dumb and uneducated women, fine, also fine if you are single and horny, but if you are in a relationship, it's outrageous. It all depends on how yourpartner sees it. If your GF doesn't mind that another woman rubs her p*** in your c***, than all the power to her. But most do. It just cracks me up on how some of you ladies think your OPINION should be law. Not everyone feels the way you do and to berrate a man. Why because he found a woman who has no issues with her sexuality. Sorry ladies remember that this is your opinion not something that is written in stone for everyone. I guess it would surprise you that when I used to go with my ex that all the women who danced there were hitting on her and not me. Try to understand that this is your view on this issue and it is NOT shared with the rest of us here on this site or in real life. This is so much like the religion issue so why can't we all agree to disagree on this piticular subject? Link to comment
kellbell Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I agree with Hubman. I have been to strip clubs and there are plenty of women who go to them and get lapdances. In fact, I have heard from a few strippers that they rather give a woman a lapdance over a man. I mean they have their reasons. It's just money to them...money talks and everything else walks. But your opinions on this is not the law and there are plenty of women whom don't have a problem with their SO's going to a stripclub...or even get a lapdance. I am on the lines with hubman...let's all agree to disagree on this matter. Link to comment
Beec Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 It nauseating Beec. I am not sure how your "involved relationship" allowed this. And I can't understand how you do not get your kicks from other healthier activities, like sports and arts. You don't see it, but I am sure if you GF liked to have men's penises "shaken" on her face (and in some clubs the women actually put the Ps in their mouths) you would be a bit bothered. if you enjoy the company of very dumb and uneducated women, fine, also fine if you are single and horny, but if you are in a relationship, it's outrageous. It all depends on how yourpartner sees it. If your GF doesn't mind that another woman rubs her p*** in your c***, than all the power to her. But most do. If it is nauseating, I would suggest taking some Pepto Bismol. I go to a strip club once a year, it's not a lifestyle thing. I get my kicks from lots of things. I also understand that my woman may not like the idea of me being at a strip club. But for one night a year with my old friends, she can deal with it. And if she chooses to do something similar, so long as it is not more excessive in extent, I will have to deal with it. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 It nauseating Beec. I am not sure how your "involved relationship" allowed this. And I can't understand how you do not get your kicks from other healthier activities, like sports and arts. You don't see it, but I am sure if you GF liked to have men's penises "shaken" on her face (and in some clubs the women actually put the Ps in their mouths) you would be a bit bothered. if you enjoy the company of very dumb and uneducated women, fine, also fine if you are single and horny, but if you are in a relationship, it's outrageous. It all depends on how yourpartner sees it. If your GF doesn't mind that another woman rubs her p*** in your c***, than all the power to her. But most do. wow. there is no need to be such a judgemental person. i think your assuming to much. sad but true...this is the reason why A LOT of men go to strip clubs but would never ever tell their gf/wife. They dont think they are doing anything wrong but they know the reaction they will get. Often, men go to these clubs, sit down, have a beer, and talk with friends. The friends get most of the attention. Its almost like being at a bar with a "good view" or women walking around. No touching of any sort goes on. Thats cheating? I guess I should watch the national geographic channel either. To assume that all strip clubs are brothels and all strippers are "dumb and undeducated" is unfair. Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Nobody has a right to tell anyone else how to feel, or what to think. If you hang out in strip clubs, if you dislike strip clubs, etc. ... is YOUR business. I won't make it mine, because frankly, it doesn't affect my day-to-day life and I don't care about how you live yours. Seems selfish, but the truth is that I don't have the energy to worry about how other people live. Whatever makes you happy -- I would say the same about gay marriages, abortion, religion and politics -- all equally controversial and all boiling down to the same thing: you are entitled to your own opinions. Too many people think that their opinions and views are the "truth". There is no truth when it comes to living life in my opinion, but variations of realities that we choose to believe. I don't mess with that, but I don't want someone messing with my views, either. Luciana, I can appreciate that you have very strong objections to strip clubs, and the sex industry in general. But there is really no need to belittle someone else's ways just because you don't agree. Who cares how Beec lives his life? He's not hurting you or anyone else, and if his girlfriend doesn't mind, then I see absolutely no harm done. Link to comment
Vanilla Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 there is just no sense in discussing these topics because they NEVER get anywhere and most people get into heated discussions. If it bothers you- dont put up with it and find someone who shares your same views and values . these are the things you're supposed to talk about in the beginning to make it clear where the two people stand in all these things. Then there are no surprises! If it doesnt bother you- you got nothing to worry about. thats really all there is to it. its just not right to sit here and try to make someone like strip clubs and tell them its no big deal, because to them it is and everyone has the right to feel the way they do. no one could ever change MY mind about strip clubs, porn etc. NO ONE. however... its not right to get on someones case because they like to go to strip clubs especially since they have no impact in your life. i wouldnt date them so they can do whatever they want. I smoke cigarettes Im sure they'd be mad about that. lol it just happens. I just never get these posts...i guess i just post wont on these topics anymore because they usually all end up the same way. its way too controversial and how ocean eyes said there is just no way to say Im right your wrong. Whatever you feel is what matters. Stick to what you feel, find someone who shares your views on it if it means a lot to you, discuss it when entering a relationship... thats all... Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Whatever you feel is what matters. Stick to what you feel, find someone who shares your views on it if it means a lot to you, discuss it when entering a relationship... thats all... Well said, Vanilla. I think you're probably the type of person who people will like being around if you're not judging everything that you don't agree with. At the end of the day, the only peoples' opinions that should really matter are those coming from the people you love, and who love you. It's a boring concept to assume that we all feel/ think the same way. If this were true, there would be a major shortage of exceptional people in the world, and NOBODY would inspire you. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I don't understand the fierce hostility. Beec was the first to give me advice on this forum, and he's an asset to this place. I'm happy he's found a new lady that lets him be himself. Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 ^ Exactly. Who really cares? lol Moving on ... Link to comment
Scout Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 A lively debate! And between several eNotalone longtimers, no less. It's interesting, the strip club question is one that comes up time and time again, and it definitely sparks some strong opinions every time. Guess I'll go ahead and throw in my two cents...I've actually gone to a strip club or two in the past, and they're kind of fun! Although, I always end up feeling kind of sorry for the dancers, for some reason. I don't think I'd mind if my boyfriend went to a strip club with his buddies once or twice. But if it was every few months or so, I think I'd start to wonder if he ever compares my body with their's...and that would make me accutely insecure. What would definitely bother me would be if my boyfriend did not include me in his birthday plans, no matter what he was doing. That would hurt my feelings...a lot. Link to comment
Beec Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 I don't understand the fierce hostility. Beec was the first to give me advice on this forum, and he's an asset to this place. I'm happy he's found a new lady that lets him be himself. Thanks Dako. Hope things are looking up for you. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 look at it this way, the girl is being paid to do it, she has no interest in him except to get that money, and if she is respectful enough (ahem) she wouldnt go further, and if they did, then they are both disgusting. and im sure you know your boyfriend isnt disgusting Link to comment
Scout Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I still say what would have upset me the most would have been the fact he didn't include me in his birthday plans AND that his friends encouraged him not to (so it appears). Maybe I just have rose-colored glasses because I'm only three months into a new relationship, but I can't imagine my current boyfriend blowing me off on his birthday. Also, his friends don't frequent strip clubs. I wonder how this all worked out for the OP? Hopefully, she and her guy settled things positively. Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I still say what would have upset me the most would have been the fact he didn't include me in his birthday plans AND that his friends encouraged him not to (so it appears). Maybe I just have rose-colored glasses because I'm only three months into a new relationship, but I can't imagine my current boyfriend blowing me off on his birthday. Also, his friends don't frequent strip clubs. I wonder how this all worked out for the OP? Hopefully, she and her guy settled things positively. I believe it turned out they had several other issues (including cheating) in this relationship Scout...have not heard any updates in a while though. Link to comment
Scout Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 lol, thanks. That's the one thing about eNotalone, you get involved in topics that sometimes don't really provide you with an "ending" on how things worked out. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 yeah true, i can see what you mean, but you cannot force your boyfriend to sit in the house with you on his birthday, he has friends and im sure you'd wanna see them on your birthday too, you gonna be pissed if he has a stag night too? Link to comment
dreamweaverdude Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Jay, Admittedly having been to strip club, unless it is one different than i have ever seen, nothing happened. And he surely didn't see anymore than he would have on some public beaches in this country. I have to admit in reading your topic and your reply, without offending you, i hear insecurites coming thru. And i'm not trying to turn the table. He should understand and know how you feel, and i'm not saying him attending a strip club while in a relationship is the right move to make, BUT it does sound to me that you are arn't very secure in where you stand with him, and that him attending such is comparing you to them. I honestly doubt that was the case. Most guys that go to clubs of that nature admittedly go for a visual thrill, NOT to compare. Just another opinion for what its worth Link to comment
spunkykatt Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Ok I felt alot like you when my bf went to a strip club after telling me he was not going to go, and then I found out differently the next day. The thing is tough, that not too long ago I went to a strip club with him, just he and I and its really not that big of a deal. To be honest they are kinda funny, and I dont know of any clubs that allow any type of sexual touching while recieving a lap dance, most clubs will allow touching of the strippers on the back and waist thats it. Also dont feel threatened by the girls who work at the clubs, they want his money not him...trust me, they dont even look at the guys, they look at how much money they can make before he wises up and leaves. If it really bothers you, talk to him, and tell him how you feel. You may even want to go to a club with him just to see for yourself how it really is. I dont think you would worry nearly as much if you went and seen it with your own eyes. Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I actually got into a discussion with some co-workers and their boyfriends/ girlfriends last weekend about strip clubs. I'd say that about half the women would have been okay with it, half not -- and the same thing was true of the men with the idea of their girlfriends attending male strip clubs. Some wouldn't mind, and some definitely would. I guess what I'm trying to say here, is that there are no right or wrong answers here. Our experiences, values, the way we were brought up, all play a role in how we view things like this. I think each individual opinion should be respected, because none of us really know what it's like to BE that other person. The only thing that I can say for sure, is that trying to be 'o-k' with something you're definitely NOT okay with, is the surest way to create wounds within yourself that will haunt you. Link to comment
Unknown123 Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I agree completely with kellbell's posts. Link to comment
Unchained_melody Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 I have been to a strip club because I got curious. I was very close to getting a job there because i heard How big the Money they make can get. At that time I was young and stupid, but the Money was BIG!! Attraction towards the career, the men I couldn't have cared any less. i think personally that, men go to strip clubs to make sure they are not gay. Ahahahaha! sorry. But some couples enjoy going together to a strip club, some enjoy threesomes, others foursomes and what somes. etc. Most couples who are mature end up being very serious and hate places like that. My man has a tendency to look at boobs. I have small boobs and whenever he looks at another woman's boobs that are BIGGER, I start to imagine I am Uma Thurman in Kill Bill... (with that noise in the background) He always denies it, but sometimes he says he is just curious and it's a man thing, he says he wouldn't be with me if he preferred bigger boobs, he says pamela anderson's boobs are nice to look at, but if men come any closer they wouldn't know what hit em. He says he prefers smaller boobs because when he hugs me he can still breathe ok, and that he likes petite women. So men do look at other women, because they are curious but it doesn't mean they would have sex with them or make out with them. I know how you feel, you feel that he might have preffered to touch the dancer because she had a better body? or you feel she is better in pleasing him than you and you are jealous and angry at him and maybe her? Try this, tell him one day that you are going to a Men's Strip Club. HAHAH! See how he reacts then. And if he reacts "What?!! you're doing What?!!"(pulling his hair or following you) IT means he loves you. If he doesn't do that, it could mean he respects what you do and could feel abit uneasy but hides his feelings or that he doesn't love you enough. But if he does react that way, Then you can turn around and say, Now you know what it feels like. Or not say that, and just know that he does love you. Link to comment
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