Are all women crazy?

[Ownerofalonelyheart]

Are all women crazy, or is it just me? Why is it that all these women keep complaining about how there are no nice guys out there, but then when they start dating one, they suddenly feel the need to flee from them? I just talked to a buddy on the phone today- he is going through the exact same thing I am going through. His girlfriend suddenly did a 180 on him, and walked out the door- for no apparent reason. This has now happened to me three times! Here's the classic story: Boy meets girl, girl tells boy he is everything she has ever wanted, girl tells boy about her abusive ex-boyfriend, girl tells boy she loves him, and wants to be with him forever, boy says the same thing (although with some hesitation, for fear of getting hurt). Then suddenly, out of nowhere, girl does a 180 and leaves boy- as if she never really cared in the first place. Why does this happen, and why do I let it happen? How can a person completely change the way they feel about you in a period of 24 hours? One minute they're your best friend, and the next minute they are ignoring you.

 

I need some help here ladies. Can you give me any advice? Why can't women just be normal? Why is there always so much drama? Is there a girl out there who actually knows what she wants? Please, help me!

[tiki]

Hey,

 

I was asking myself the same kind of question but the other way around. I guess some girls expect guys to be the "typical" guy --insensitive, players, selfish etc.-- so when we find a nice one, we think it's "weird" or that they are "clingy"... i guess i agree with you in some levels....some girls can be crazy.

 

It really goes both ways though. A lot of guys are just after the "stuff"...so you can't blame girls for being paraniod.

[Darkshadow]

God I know exactly what you mean. I swear I make sure I'm everything for her but it means nothing..

[jurupa]

Can you give me any advice?

I would guess that your friend and you fell for your ex's to fast or both of your ex's came out of a bad relationship and wanted a rebound boyfriend and once you full filled the role of one both girls where done with you guys. But quite frankly just be your self and not worry about it becuase down the road they [your ex and your friends ex] will see what they had with you guys and most probably regreting the way they treated both of you.

 

Why can't women just be normal?

What is normal? Everyone has a different view on this.

 

Why is there always so much drama?

For the most part girls love drama. Why do you think girls for the most part love soap operas and read magazines that bring gosip and drama into their lives.

 

Is there a girl out there who actually knows what she wants?

Surprisingly enough there are girls that know what they want and do not pull a double standard or say one thing but mean another.

[Cydeways]

wow way to hit the nail on the head...

 

but for real... everyone knows nice guys finish last, and girls love A$$holes

[Echo]

Ok..I am a woman...and for ME, what it comes down to is a having a guy who DOES treat me nice but also has the backbone to put me in my place when it's neccesary. Would you want to be with a girl who allowed you to abuse her or treat her with indifference? Of course not. You would have much more respect for her if she didn't put up with your crap, wouldn;t you?? It all comes down to respect. Respect for you and respect for ourselves.

I think everyone tests each other on a subconscience level to see exactly what that person will put up with. It's hard to feel attracted to a guy who will lay down and let me walk on him. I want a man who is open but who knows how to draw the line. Do I like romance? Absolutely. Do I appreciate a guy who does things for me? Yes!! However...I think it's human nature for most people to like to earn another persons heart...because for whatever reason, anything that is given to us too easily is never fully appreciated. I think that's why the "chase" for men is always so much more gratifying when they GET the girl, than when she pursues him. Somehow it deflates the whole experience. We all want something that is attainable, but yet that seems SO worthy to everyone else. It's like getting a prize.

Bottom line....women don't like drama...they like a challenge (just like men do). Maybe on a subconscience level they create "DRAMA" as a way to test you and what you will put up with.

My 2 cents.

[OceanEyes]

girl tells boy about her abusive ex-boyfriend

 

This might be the root of your problem lonelyheart. If you put yourself in a position to be a rebound, the shoulder to cry on so-to-speak, then I'm sorry to say but I would see it coming.

 

This isn't a condition exclusive to female behaviour - getting involved with anyone coming out of an abusive relationship, not stepping back and letting them heal .. it's just bad news for everybody. I heard a good quote recently that went something like, "dead soil needs a chance to blow away, to give fresh earth time to prepare for new growth".

 

I'm not saying that the same thing applies to every relationship, but it's always a bad idea (everyone knows this, no big secret), that being the shoulder to cry on, and allowing yourself to become a rebound relationship can go either way: A) The person will end up really seeing the light with you, and you'll live happily ever after. B) The person will recouperate and find some strength from you, but then feel the need to move on afterwards.

 

Rebounds are classified as getting together with a person while he/ she is in an extremely vulnerable state. He/ she may not be thinking clearly and especially in cases of abuse, might have suffered damage to self-esteem and confidence. You can help that person build these things back up, but when they feel better, or "normal" again, they may discover that they're not ready to be in a relationship.

 

Not all women will feed you crap and leave. I dislike it when men make claims that "all women are crazy". If you're the ones being left, perhaps part of the problem lies with you as well.

[BellaDonna]

Why is it that all these women keep complaining about how there are no nice guys out there, but then when they start dating one, they suddenly feel the need to flee from them?

 

I know many people that do this. I think it all comes down to low self-esteem and fear of commitment. I have friends that have dated nice guys, and then left them for bad boys or men that treat them like sidewalk trash. I've tried talking sense into these friends- but they never listen. So I gave up. I don't answer my phone when they call to complain about their boyfriends anymore- it's sickening and it's self- created conflict.

 

Sometimes they find "nice guys" and use them for attention and a confidence boost until they can create negative drama for themselves again.

 

Some people (male and female) subconsciously don't think much of themselves and are not happy unless they are surrounded by drama and self- torture. They don't WANT to be "normal" because they don't know what to do with themselves when things are normal. They thrive on conflict and self-pity.

 

Not all women are like this. I, for one, married a "nice guy".

 

Don't let these kind of women upset you. If they have that kind of mentality then they're likely not someone who you'd want to be involved with anyways. Eventually you will find a "normal" one.

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

I for one HAVE an awesome "nice guy", but at the same time he also has a backbone and maintains his identity. He is confident enough to be himself, and not be walked over. He is a "nice guy" because that is whom he IS, not because he is one to win people over. And at the same time, he is able to be attractive by just being whom he is...he respects me no doubt, but is strong enough not to be a doormat. He challenges me, loves me, cherishes me...but I do it ALL in return. It is a reciprocal relationship.

 

I would not dream of leaving him, he's my "one"

 

Not all girls love drama, I for one would not stay where there is too much drama, nor do I chase drama. I have enough self confidence, worth to know that drama is not healthy, nor where I want to be. (And I cannot STAND soap operas and gossip/celebrity magazines..not my thing AT all!)

 

There are plenty of women whom DO know what they want, just as there are plenty of men whom don't know what they want, or also do 180's on the women they claimed to love. You just see one side of it, however many women can attest to being with men whom were just as finicky, or unsure, or flighty. Generalizations that "all women are crazy" either mean you are hanging out or chasing the wrong women, or not accepting your part in the relationships end either. It is easier to blame a general group then accept our own faults sometimes.

 

In the case you described it sounds like the girls went for the "nice guy" as a rebound, before they were healed from their past. Abusive relationships damage ones self esteem, worth and even ability to judge whom is right for them or not. They are vulnerable, and when someone is "there" for them finally, they may enter a relationship out of fear of being alone, or to feel wanted again, but they may not be READY for one, and not ready to give of themselves, or even be "complete" enough to give forth to another person.

[randy]

Are all women crazy

 

YES

 

 

Na just kidding . I think Echo pretty much gave you the correct answer to your question Lonelyheart .

[Day_Walker]

Yes, its true that women are crazy but not just for the whole nice guy thing there are many other things that seem not to make sense about them. What you dont seem to understand is that people as a whole are confused about what they want. Yes females may say that they want a nice guy but what they mean is that they want a guy with those qualities. This doesnt mean that they want a guy like you but a guy they like with a few of those qualities.

[Derek]

Why do men and women have to pretend to not need each other to then finally find each other?

 

 

[shes2smart]

The answer to your question is no, all women are not crazy.

 

That being said, you cannot control the behavior of others, only your own. If you don't want a "crazy woman" learn how to spot 'em & avoid 'em in favor for a sane one.

 

We're out here....us low-maintenance, honest, trustworthy, reasonable females looking for nice guys. When I was single, I had a heck of a time finding a guy who didn't have some sort of relationship deal-breaker "issues."

 

I couldn't change the men. I couldn't make them grow up, or see me, or be normal or anything. What I could do was learn to spot the loonies faster, say thanks but no thanks, and be on my way quickly without looking back, and refuse to allow men to treat me badly.

 

Whaddaya know....a couple months of doing that and I met my husband...a "nice guy" who happened to be looking for a "sane woman."

 

All of us are at least a bubble off plumb. The only Normal there is is a town in Illinois.

 

People do stuff that makes no sense....you can stand there scratching your head and wondering why or just say, "ok. glad it's not my life" and move along.

[darkblue]

Most women go through a phase in their lives where they want the 'bad boy'.

 

Face it; most women don't want a nice guy. Their too easy. Girls like a fight.

 

But, eventually when it doens't work out and they get hurt, they will notice the nice guys and realize how easier life would have been; and how happy they could have been with the nice guy in the first place.

 

Never change; just be patient.

[lunatic]

You want a better insight into the oppisite sex then read Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

 

We are different in gender but, when it all boils down to things we all want the same things. To be loved and to love someone else. Men and women have issues with commitment so it is not very fair to say that "all women are crazy" because I know a lot of guys who are nuts too.

 

Face it men will never understand women so what you have to do is treat them with respect and be yourself. Eventually, someone will come along that will see those great qualities in you. I agree with the ladies that siad that your looking in the wrong places or in the trophy girl. Sorry guys I know we all do it. there are some basic qualities that one must be looking for in the oppisite sex. That is attraction, intelligence, and persona if that person has similar qualities then you may have found a match.

 

Blaming the other sex is not very fair to the good and decent people out there. No I will not generalize either sexes because it is not very fair.

 

Keep looking and your going to bump into her or him someday soon when you least expect it to happen.

[OceanEyes]

Not everything in life should be "easy" with no drama at all. Some drama can add a little 'something' to your life and keep you on your toes. This isn't for everyone, but I know that there is NO WAY that I could be in a relationship with a guy who said "yes" to everything, always agreed with me for the sake of agreeing, and who never told me when he was upset about something I did .. just 'let it slide' to avoid any type of disagreement. I'll say it - I wouldn't be able to respect a man who always yes'ed me to death.

 

Most women do want a man who will say, "hey, I DON'T agree with that, and I'll tell you why". What's wrong with that? Not everything in life has to be drama-free and functional 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sometimes the occasional battle can be exciting and challenging, and it doesn't have to end with tears and broken hearts. The key is picking your battles and always fighting fair.

 

I think that there is a big difference between some occasional conflict of interest and all-around incompatibility combined with emotionally-unstable people. We are not all the same, and most of us have somewhat different values. I see absolutely nothing wrong with couples going through some occasional disagreements, I have no idea why people make it seem like the best relationships are ones where there are absolutely no arguments ever.

[LILI]

Heheh dude, i know ur prolly not gonna read this cuz its at the very end , but the same thing happened to me with some dude...the worst thing is that i see him and he pretends not to know me....now tell me thats not some sick , yep. But when women do this, we are "Crazy" this guy is just a confused son of a b...., yep. I hate ppl who think they are better than others.... a man should only look down on another when trying to help him up ..... dont give too much tought to this issue ... ive learned ppl are all crazy ALL OF YOU ARE!! im tired of dealing with ppl so ive been dealing with myself lately ... at least i know what to expect.

[Ownerofalonelyheart]

Hey Guys,

 

Thank you for the feedback. I just wanted to post a few replys- the girl I was with had been out of her abusive relationship for over 2 years. How much time is enough time to get over one of those? I never really thought of myself as "the rebound guy", but I could tell she still had some anger towards this guy. She persued me, told me she loved me first, and told me I was her "soulmate". We had plans to move in together- I guess things were moving too fast.

 

She is definetely suffering from low self-esteem. She told me she "doesn't know who she is", and is very confused. We really had a great relationship, and friendship. But now she is not talking to me at all. It makes me feel like I've done something terribly wrong- my mind thinks "why else would I be treated this way?"

 

I really don't think I played a role in this break-up. I can recognize when I've made mistakes- but I didn't make any here. I learned from the past, and did everything right this time. She just up and left one day out of nowhere.

 

I guess I made the comment about "all women being crazy" because I seem to keep dating, and falling for, the same types of girls. The thing is, I thought my last ex was different. She seemed self-confidant, and well grounded. But it turns out she was just covering up her true self, and feelings.

 

PS: The girl I was most recently with was not a trophy girl. She was just a regular girl next door type. She was a tomboy when she was younger. I fell for her because we had MANY similarities. We had a lot of the same interests, and felt the same way about many things.

[shes2smart]

I guess I made the comment about "all women being crazy" because I seem to keep dating, and falling for, the same types of girls.

 

Well....you could choose some different types....that'd probably get you a different result.

[frothdog]

Some might call it chauvinistic, but it's still worth looking at.

 

link removed

[darkblue]

Quoted from the above link:

 

And, no, I don't treat women as "lesser beings". That line was just for effect. But, I do treat women in the way that I think is most profitable for my own goals, which is usually not the way they say they want to be treated

 

Manipulative, emotionally deceiving and stereotypical advice given later on.

 

I don't agree with the link's advice or 'tactics'.

[darkblue]

Yes, its true that women are crazy but not just for the whole nice guy thing there are many other things that seem not to make sense about them. What you dont seem to understand is that people as a whole are confused about what they want. Yes females may say that they want a nice guy but what they mean is that they want a guy with those qualities. This doesnt mean that they want a guy like you but a guy they like with a few of those qualities.

 

Some men are also confused and also fall into the same loop-hole; Let's not stereotype or generalize.