Would you bring that up? (early stage)

[MrMan1983]

On 1/22/2024 at 3:34 AM, ShySoul said:

I've never liked that whole thing about symmetrical people being more attractive.

That would be me buggered with a 4 times broken nose 😂

[mylolita]

1 hour ago, MrMan1983 said:

That would be me buggered with a 4 times broken nose 😂

I am curious as to why you ended up with a broken nose 4 times Mr?! 
 

x

[MrMan1983]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

I am curious as to why you ended up with a broken nose 4 times Mr?! 
 

x

1x smacked with a rounders bat (slipped out of someones hand when they were batting), 1x a mugging in a rough area, 1x a football to the face and last time was face planting some concrete on inline skates. It's had quite the journey.

[Sindy_0311]

Hi y’a all! Just wanted to update a bit. Last time the guy asked me to go to the bath we finally changed plans. But he brought it up again. He told me he wanted to surprise me to go to a private spa on Monday (it’s in a hotel I mentioned a few days ago) but unfortunately they are booked on Monday and we won’t be able to see each other this weekend because of the kids… so he suggested going to a public one on Monday, its really beautiful and all new. So I agreed. Still waiting for my surgery planed in march and I wanted your insight… do you think I should put my black compression sleeve in order to feel better in regard to other people there, or should I just go without anything on my leg. I really can’t decide. We are both exited about going, this is something we share, we both enjoy thermal baths. 

For the context, he already noticed that sometimes I’m not really comfortable with being naked in front of him, somehow I need time to feel at ease on that level. Would that be a turn off for a man at this early stage (6weeks in) ? 

[catfeeder]

6 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

… do you think I should put my black compression sleeve in order to feel better in regard to other people there, or should I just go without anything on my leg. I really can’t decide.

I'd review the website or contact the management of the bath to learn whether it's allowed, and if so, sure. I often see perfectly athletic people with something around a knee, ankle or shin. It's no big deal.

Quote

... he already noticed that sometimes I’m not really comfortable with being naked in front of him, somehow I need time to feel at ease on that level. Would that be a turn off for a man at this early stage (6weeks in) ? 

That's a subjective thing, some people find it endearing. When you say he noticed, how do you know this?

[Sindy_0311]

8 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

That's a subjective thing, some people find it endearing. When you say he noticed, how do you know this?

He noticed that once we get out of the bed I put my pijamas trousers directly, or I tend to hide my intimate part with my hand when he is lower… he asked why are you hiding it, I just replied I’m not hiding it… i don’t think this part of my body is esthetically attractive, idk… see men tend to sent *** picks all the time, but in reality I don’t know if my part is beautiful… sounds so silly. 

[ShySoul]

Always do what makes you feel comfortable. It's your body, it's your feelings. The only person's opinion on it that matters is yours, so do what makes you comfortable and happy.

I'm a guy and I'm not comfortable showing skin either. I don't even like wearing shorts and will have jeans on walking on the beach. And I don't have any specific skin issues, I'm just shy and modest about my body. So I wouldn't be turned off if a woman is also shy or feels insecure about her body. It's not silly, it's simple how she feels. If anything, I would find it endearing and want to help her to see herself as beautiful, just as I find her beautiful... "imperfections" and all.

[catfeeder]

35 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

He noticed that once we get out of the bed I put my pijamas trousers directly, or I tend to hide my intimate part with my hand when he is lower… he asked why are you hiding it, I just replied I’m not hiding it… i don’t think this part of my body is esthetically attractive, idk… see men tend to sent *** picks all the time, but in reality I don’t know if my part is beautiful… sounds so silly. 

Awww, no, you don't sound silly. Women don't tend to be the visual creatures that men tend to be, with some exceptions. Maybe it can help you to relax a bit if you make some fun of yourself--like, the next time you go to hide it, laugh and say, "Okay, yes, I'm hiding it." Then just tell him you feel shy, and see what he says. By taking your defenses down a tad, you may end up feeling pretty fabulous and comforted by how he responds to that.

[ShySoul]

44 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

he asked why are you hiding it, I just replied I’m not hiding it… i don’t think this part of my body is esthetically attractive, idk… see men tend to sent *** picks all the time, but in reality I don’t know if my part is beautiful

If he is asking why you are hiding it, odds are he doesn't want you hiding it. That would seem to say he finds the whole package attractive and would find all parts beautiful. Do what makes you feel best, but he at least seems to be okay with it if that makes you feel a little less self conscious.

Also, just because I guy sends a pic like that, doen't mean he should or that his part actually is attractive. Some people have too high an opinion of themselves. I'd take someone modest any day.

[rainbowsandroses]

Sindy hope you don't take offense but what do you find unattractive about it? 

Have you considered a bikini wax?  Just a thought without knowing what the real issue is. 

JMO but when a woman loves her body, that is an incredible turn on for most men.  It also makes for some extremely hot and intimate sex! 

Your guy sounds like he thinks every part of you and your body is beautiful.  Even your leg.  And I'm sure your lower too.

Embrace that and learn to love yourself too?  

I do not agree with hiding it and/or laughing about it. You demean yourself by doing that and him for desiring it.

A woman's body is to be embraced, not laughed at. 

JMO.

 

[Batya33]

I hope this is related to this discussion but I've been seeing way too many posts on my FB mom groups -women in their 30s and 40s - even early 30s - asking about how to get work done on their post-birth bodies - stretch marks/c-section scar (I have one!!), tummy tuck, wrinkles you know.  I mean I've just been seeing more and more - some I suppose are single moms who are dating I guess? Some are married.  FWIW - it makes me SAD!  I wish I could not feel this way I mean they're entitled to be happy with their bodies -entitled to get work done whether or not I would and I just feel sad they have so little acceptance of these flaws and imperfections!!

By contrast I'm a big fan of health and fitness. I truly believe that focusing on hydrating more than ever - as you get older - makes your skin glow, helps with maybe that sort of bloated tummy look right? Working out or walking or dancing in the living room like no one is watching I truly believes helps a woman embrace her body so much more and accept the skin sag/wrinkles/pesky hair whatever.  You get more in tune with your body without being so nitpicky.  And I also think it helps us aging women carry ourselves with more confidence too.  I mean for one thing a lot of exercise also improves posture so you literally carry yourself better.  

All of this is not to say -OP -that you need to feel comfortable parading around naked this early on  - especially this early on - you do you!! - but I hope it's not because of what I wrote above.

[Sindy_0311]

9 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Sindy hope you don't take offense but what do you find unattractive about it? 

Have you considered a bikini wax?  Just a thought without knowing what the real issue is. 

JMO but when a woman loves her body, that is an incredible turn on for most men.  It also makes for some extremely hot and intimate sex! 

Your guy sounds like he thinks every part of you and your body is beautiful.  Even your leg.  And I'm sure your lower too.

Embrace that and learn to love yourself too?  

I do not agree with hiding it and/or laughing about it. You demean yourself by doing that and him for desiring it.

A woman's body is to be embraced, not laughed at. 

JMO.

 

To be honest I always did the bikini myself. I never went to an institute. I waxed, shaped etc all by myself… maybe the reason why I’m not sure about it being “done properly” I don’t have much hair so it’s pretty easy to do it by myself. I don’t want to go every two weeks to do it… I have other priorities according to my physical appearance. I workout a lot, I go to the hairdresser every month, I even got a few injections to prevent wrinkles… I can’t do it all and I don’t want to… 

He said my lower part was beautiful, and frankly I cannot remember another men telling me that… 

[rainbowsandroses]

5 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

He said my lower part was beautiful, and frankly I cannot remember another men telling me that… 

He sounds awesome!  Definitely a keeper and I truly hope it works out the way you hope!  💛

[Sindy_0311]

7 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I hope this is related to this discussion but I've been seeing way too many posts on my FB mom groups -women in their 30s and 40s - even early 30s - asking about how to get work done on their post-birth bodies - stretch marks/c-section scar (I have one!!), tummy tuck, wrinkles you know.  I mean I've just been seeing more and more - some I suppose are single moms who are dating I guess? Some are married.  FWIW - it makes me SAD!  I wish I could not feel this way I mean they're entitled to be happy with their bodies -entitled to get work done whether or not I would and I just feel sad they have so little acceptance of these flaws and imperfections!!

By contrast I'm a big fan of health and fitness. I truly believe that focusing on hydrating more than ever - as you get older - makes your skin glow, helps with maybe that sort of bloated tummy look right? Working out or walking or dancing in the living room like no one is watching I truly believes helps a woman embrace her body so much more and accept the skin sag/wrinkles/pesky hair whatever.  You get more in tune with your body without being so nitpicky.  And I also think it helps us aging women carry ourselves with more confidence too.  I mean for one thing a lot of exercise also improves posture so you literally carry yourself better.  

All of this is not to say -OP -that you need to feel comfortable parading around naked this early on  - especially this early on - you do you!! - but I hope it's not because of what I wrote above.

Thank you for sharing. I completely agree with you. I truly think my body looks good, I had a child, have no marks, I’m skinny and gaining muscles due to my workout. I don’t think some extra hair would be an issue. The guy I’m dating is hairy, he removed the ones of his back someday hoping I would like it. But frankly I don’t care if he’s got extra hair, I just like him. And I hope his interest in me is genuine enough to not ask me to change anything. Take me as I am… ( or leave 😂) 

[Batya33]

5 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Thank you for sharing. I completely agree with you. I truly think my body looks good, I had a child, have no marks, I’m skinny and gaining muscles due to my workout. I don’t think some extra hair would be an issue. The guy I’m dating is hairy, he removed the ones of his back someday hoping I would like it. But frankly I don’t care if he’s got extra hair, I just like him. And I hope his interest in me is genuine enough to not ask me to change anything. Take me as I am… ( or leave 😂) 

Yes.  I agree. I have my c section scar and I do not care at all.  I hate surgical procedures and having oral surgery, colonoscopy, getting my mammogram (which I just had 2 days ago -ouch!!!) - is more than enough procedures for me.

[Sindy_0311]

14 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Yes.  I agree. I have my c section scar and I do not care at all.  I hate surgical procedures and having oral surgery, colonoscopy, getting my mammogram (which I just had 2 days ago -ouch!!!) - is more than enough procedures for me.

Exactly. Just set priorities. I remember the first time we met, he noticed my nails and asked if they were fake, because I always had long nails and paint them. I told him they weren’t fake, I don’t loose my time with such things… I have other things in my life I want to concentrate on rather than my extra hair or go doing my nails … my health and my inner world, my creativity, these are more important to me… 

[Sindy_0311]

32 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

He sounds awesome!  Definitely a keeper and I truly hope it works out the way you hope!  💛

Idk yet. But I can sense that he might be developing feelings. He says I’m making him happy. He texts in the morning when he wakes up, during the day and when he goes to bed. He sometimes calls me “my love” ans often calls me to hear my voice. He regularly comes to see me at the gallery when we have our children’s custody just to share a few minutes together. We also have so beautiful dates together.. but I’m still trying to be realistic, we don’t know each other for long… we will see how this develops through time. 

[Cherylyn]

Tell the truth.  You will determine if he's for you long term dependent on his reactions. 

[Sindy_0311]

5 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

Tell the truth.  You will determine if he's for you long term dependent on his reactions. 

The truth about what? 

[Kwothe28]

16 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Would that be a turn off for a man at this early stage (6weeks in) ? 

Again, you would still be semi- naked in front of him. Dont think he would care about anything else lol

Also, it does seem its going nice for now. Good luck.

[Batya33]

16 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

But I can sense that he might be developing feelings.

Maybe wait until you are more certain that both of you care for each other - not just "developing feelings" or guessing that he might be by the sort of attention he is paying to you (you may be right but you shared it and didn't say you were going to talk to him about if that's the case/future intentions -totally up to you -sounds like you like exactly how you're spending time with him!)

If that doesn't happen -if it's two people in this fun, enoyable situation but not going to get more serious -why go there with the conversations that might make you feel too vulnerable - and if you're not going to be a potentially long term couple why bother -simply tell him "oh - I'm good with how things are and I'm glad we're enjoying each other!" something like that.  

[boltnrun]

OK, this is a gross generalization, but I read somewhere that men aren't hyper focused on the details of a woman's body, particularly when he cares for her or is attracted to her.  I may be thinking "OMG, one of my breasts is slightly larger than the other, he's going to be so turned off" and he's thinking "OMG, BREASTS!" 

I know I wrote this before, but I have a large, disfiguring scar on my abdomen.  My ex would go down to the scar and kiss it and tell it to not hurt me.  He wasn't saying "Ick, big ugly scar".

[Sindy_0311]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

OK, this is a gross generalization, but I read somewhere that men aren't hyper focused on the details of a woman's body, particularly when he cares for her or is attracted to her. 

I did that experience today. I had a little accident. I was cooking and my pressure cooker exploded. I had hot sauce all over my face, my arm and my shoulder. I had to go to the hospital, I hard first and second degree burns.

I called my guy right after it happened, but my phone went out of battery and couldn't call him back during the whole time I stayed at the emergencies. before leaving to the hospital I told him not to worry that my mother would take me to the emergency and that I would call him when I can. 

when I arrived home, he called me saying he was about to go to the hospital, he was worried, and I told him I just arrived home, there he was at my door outside. I had sauce all over my hair, I was smelling bad, had cream all over my face and my arm and some bandages, I was looking terrible. He asked whether he could do something, I told him that my mom would stay with me, so he said that he would come back tomorrow and help me wash my hair, my kitchen, my laundry or whatever needs to be done.. I replied, "well this it not exactly the date that we were hoping for". And he said, I don't care if you look ugly or smell bad or have no makeup on, I just want to be with you tomorrow. I guess my legs are no longer an issue at that point...

 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I did that experience today. I had a little accident. I was cooking and my pressure cooker exploded. I had hot sauce all over my face, my arm and my shoulder. I had to go to the hospital, I hard first and second degree burns.

I called my guy right after it happened, but my phone went out of battery and couldn't call him back during the whole time I stayed at the emergencies. before leaving to the hospital I told him not to worry that my mother would take me to the emergency and that I would call him when I can. 

when I arrived home, he called me saying he was about to go to the hospital, he was worried, and I told him I just arrived home, there he was at my door outside. I had sauce all over my hair, I was smelling bad, had cream all over my face and my arm and some bandages, I was looking terrible. He asked whether he could do something, I told him that my mom would stay with me, so he said that he would come back tomorrow and help me wash my hair, my kitchen, my laundry or whatever needs to be done.. I replied, "well this it not exactly the date that we were hoping for". And he said, I don't care if you look ugly or smell bad or have no makeup on, I just want to be with you tomorrow. I guess my legs are no longer an issue at that point...

 

I am so so sorry about your accident. How are you feeling now?? I'm glad he was so supportive, thoughtful, and caring.

[Sindy_0311]

6 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I am so so sorry about your accident. How are you feeling now?? I'm glad he was so supportive, thoughtful, and caring.

thank you for asking. I'm felling better, I'm taking painkiller, and have to apply cream every 2 or 3 hours. I have another appointment in a specialized hospital on Tuesday. I was lucky I didn't burn my eyes.. but I guess I will have some scars on my nose, my right cheek and my shoulder who have been burned more severely. I was shocked and afraid when it happened. But I feel more relaxed now.