Would you bring that up? (early stage)

[mylolita]

Hey Sindy! 
 

Absolutely fab news - sounds like he just didn’t give it a second thought! You did very well! 
 

Also the exclusivity after the 3rd date is very telling. From what I hear on this site and just generally, it seems to be hard to pin a man down, or get people to commit in general. This is a really great sign in my opinion of his feelings for you, his principles, and his character. All seem great! 
 

I mean, would I rather sit and have dinner rather than go swimming? Yes 🤌🤣

 

x

[kim42]

Hey Sindy, I'm glad he was understanding and it seems you enjoy spending time with him 😊

I think we all have our insecurities, for example I have quite a strong voice, so not the soft feminine voice one would expect, and I do get insecure about it sometimes, but the funny thing is that men compliment me on my voice a lot. So I believe in most cases it's just in our heads.

[mylolita]

10 minutes ago, kim42 said:

Hey Sindy, I'm glad he was understanding and it seems you enjoy spending time with him 😊

I think we all have our insecurities, for example I have quite a strong voice, so not the soft feminine voice one would expect, and I do get insecure about it sometimes, but the funny thing is that men compliment me on my voice a lot. So I believe in most cases it's just in our heads.

Kim! 
 

This is funny you say this! 
 

My husband loves a woman with a deeper voice! I wouldn’t be shy about it - husky or low is actually pretty sexy in my books! 
 

x

[kim42]

4 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Kim! 
 

This is funny you say this! 
 

My husband loves a woman with a deeper voice! I wouldn’t be shy about it - husky or low is actually pretty sexy in my books! 
 

x

Hey Lolita!

See, I never thought about it like this. I think I mentioned in my thread that I don't like phone calls, and one of the reasons is that I'm insecure about my voice. 

Maybe that will change one day! 😁

[rainbowsandroses]

43 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Hi! Thank you all for your gentle responses. They all helped me a lot!
He came to my place yesterday in the evening. We have been talking about the baths, which one to choose etc, he asked again whether I wanted to go and I simply replied yes, then I said joking something like but don’t be surprised if I jump from one swimming pool to the other, as I told you I still have my veins issues and don’t really like to show my legs in public for the moment. He then said, your legs are good, look at me, I’m far from perfect, and I don’t care. We agreed to go and I was feeling good about it. But we went to sleep very late yesterday, had sex multiple times, and this morning also. At noon we were exhausted (we are both 40 lol) and damn hungry. that’s why I suggested we go eat a burger instead. We agreed to keep the baths for another date. 

Today he noticed joking in a cute way how my face blushes after sex. It’s because I have a sensitive skin, and the rubbing and kissing doesn’t help at all… maybe also caused by blood circulation idk. 

I know I’m not perfect, and he neither is. Outside of my personality, he does compliment me a lot. And his answer yesterday was perfect for me. Somehow he always does and says the perfect thing… he asked for exclusivity on our 3rd date saying that he was attached to me and didn’t want to suffer. And we are very compatible. it’s kinda scary but great… will see how this develops.

@rainbowsandroses I have been opening up to him about another topic today. I really want to be true this time. Either he embraces it, either he’s not the one…. 

Have a beautiful Sunday! 

What an awesome update!  And it would appear my initial assessment of him is correct- he sounds like a keeper!! 💛

[mylolita]

21 minutes ago, kim42 said:

Hey Lolita!

See, I never thought about it like this. I think I mentioned in my thread that I don't like phone calls, and one of the reasons is that I'm insecure about my voice. 

Maybe that will change one day! 😁

I’m not keen on my voice either Kim and I love chatting on the phone but for the same reasons as maybe yourself, I wouldn’t want to hear myself back!!! 
 

It probably will! I think I saw some video’s on YouTube about learning to like your voice, but I never clicked on them. The worst is when I watch video’s back with the kids and me and I can hear myself and I’m like… CRINGE!!!!

 

When my husband met me, I was 18 and used to get to tonsillitis like clockwork every year. It ended when I got to about 25, but I had a really husky voice when I met him. He thought that was my actual voice and complimented me on it but; I was just ill - LOL! I lost it for a few days and had to write him notes 🫡🤣

 

Anyway, we all have our insecurities! Things aren’t so stand out to other people. I suppose we live and see ourselves 24/7 so these niggles become heightened and more obvious to us. 
 

I read something once that said, people perceive themselves as less attractive on average unlike strangers who perceive you as slightly more attractive than you own perspective of yourself! 
 

x

[rainbowsandroses]

33 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I read something once that said, people perceive themselves as less attractive on average unlike strangers who perceive you as slightly more attractive than you own perspective of yourself! 

I've read this too, and it's definitely true for me!  I've researched why and one reason is because when we see ourselves in a mirror, our image is reversed from how others see and perceive us.  Our reflection in a mirror is in the opposite direction, reversed.

Or something like that. 

@Sindy_0311it's funny, until dating my new guy (two months), I disliked talking on phone too!

I felt pressured and forced to respond on the spot and also wondered how I sounded. 

Now, with him, he loves my voice so much, he can get an erection from talking with me on phone and we've had some rather 'erotic' conversations as a result! 😉

Perhaps it will be the same for you and your guy!  

 

[mylolita]

I’ve heard that too  @rainbowsandroses! I think in the article, it was a psychology article, it said that the familiarity we have with ourselves breeds an ultra criticism and also a dulling of impact. I think people get this with their own houses as well. We see every minor fault where someone new comes in and takes on the home as a whole and is much less critical!
 

I’ve read you can buy a “true mirror”!

 

I think they are expensive (around £250) but this apparently lets you see yourself how everyone else does! 
 

I think we are all so used to our flip sided reflection, it might be quite strange seeing yourself the “right way!”

 

x

[mylolita]

I think Sindy the fact he has asked you to be exclusive and so quickly is a perfect sign he is totally into you, and in a big way. 
 

Men who really love a girl and think she’s special will want to take them “off the market” and make them their girlfriend straight away! You both sound so happy and great for each other! 
 

This is really nice to hear by the way because often of course, it’s just problems and issues on here! 
 

It’s refreshing! 🥰

 

x

[Batya33]

I loved your update Sindy -made me smile wide. Enjoy!

[Starlight925]

Re:  "True Mirror":

You can get this effect by holding up 2 mirrors at 90° angles.

Try it....pretty freaky.

This is the way you look to someone else, not to yourself in a mirror.

[Batya33]

Just now, Starlight925 said:

Re:  "True Mirror":

You can get this effect by holding up 2 mirrors at 90° angles.

Try it....pretty freaky.

This is the way you look to someone else, not to yourself in a mirror.

I think it's more important how we look to each other internally -our energy, spark, vibe.

[Starlight925]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I think it's more important how we look to each other internally -our energy, spark, vibe.

I was responding to the discussion about the "true mirror".  Wasn't saying it's more important than internal energy, etc.  Just pointing out something interesting.  Sometimes I'm sorry I respond...

[Batya33]

Just now, Starlight925 said:

I was responding to the discussion about the "true mirror".  Wasn't saying it's more important than internal energy, etc.  Just pointing out something interesting.  Sometimes I'm sorry I respond...

Ahh ok I wasn't sure what this had to do with her quandary and why drawing more attention to physical features was the answer to feeling self conscious about one's looks.  I know if I did what you suggested I'd either feel neutral or more self conscious.  I didn't think you were saying it was more important.  I wondered how it contributed to the OP's concerns.

[Starlight925]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Ahh ok I wasn't sure what this had to do with her quandary and why drawing more attention to physical features was the answer to feeling self conscious about one's looks.  I know if I did what you suggested I'd either feel neutral or more self conscious.  I didn't think you were saying it was more important.  I wondered how it contributed to the OP's concerns.

And I just realized how snarky I sounded....so sorry!

This whole thread started with a discussion of feeling conscientious about one's varicose veins, and by the end, it turned out, the guy likes Sindy so much that not only is it not an issue, but it's turned out that he's shared some of his physical insecurities as well.

Sindy, there's a saying that I love:  With the right guy, you won't do the wrong thing.

In other words, either way (thermal bath or not), he likes you so much, that any option would have been great!

Looking forward to more updates in this....vein...lol.

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

And I just realized how snarky I sounded....so sorry!

This whole thread started with a discussion of feeling conscientious about one's varicose veins, and by the end, it turned out, the guy likes Sindy so much that not only is it not an issue, but it's turned out that he's shared some of his physical insecurities as well.

Sindy, there's a saying that I love:  With the right guy, you won't do the wrong thing.

In other words, either way (thermal bath or not), he likes you so much, that any option would have been great!

Looking forward to more updates in this....vein...lol.

Yes I wrote how lovely it was to read the update -all of it!

[mylolita]

20 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

I was responding to the discussion about the "true mirror".  Wasn't saying it's more important than internal energy, etc.  Just pointing out something interesting.  Sometimes I'm sorry I respond...

This is very interesting Starlight!! Thanks for the tip!!
 

When it comes down to it, I’m not sure I’d want to see 🤣 

 

x

[Sindy_0311]

29 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

In other words, either way (thermal bath or not), he likes you so much, that any option would have been great!

Yea thank you! but hey, we known each other for only 3 weeks now, so I'm still cautious. I prefer not presuming he is so into me that he would accept me 100% you know... We barely know each other, I haven't met his family or friends yet, didn't went to his place, this is just the "beginning".  So I was wondering whether it was appropriate to bring that up, or if it would kill the attraction. But apparently it didn't...So I'll keep my fingers crossed... 

According to the "true mirror", I'm not sure I would want to see how people see me... I prefer staying in denial for now 😆

[Starlight925]

I saw the "True Mirror" effect of myself many years ago at an optometrist's office, where they had one so you could see how their different frames really looked on you.

I. was. horrified.

My face, as it turns out, is asymmetrical!  😄

I've read that our minds "correct" any asymmetries and/or abnormalities that we see in a mirror, so we do not ever see our true selves, I guess so that we don't beat ourselves up about it.

But yes, you can look into any mirror and hold another mirror to its 90° angle, and....voilà.

[Sindy_0311]

4 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

I. was. horrified.

OMG! I will never do it 🤣

[ShySoul]

Sindy, things seem to be going great. Don't stress yourself out over little things. Just enjoy each other's company and take things as they come. So far, sounds like a good match.

11 hours ago, mylolita said:

The worst is when I watch video’s back with the kids and me and I can hear myself and I’m like… CRINGE!!!!

I don't think most people like the sound of their voice. I know how we hear ourselves differs from what everyone else is hearing.

8 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

My face, as it turns out, is asymmetrical!  😄

I've read that our minds "correct" any asymmetries and/or abnormalities that we see in a mirror, so we do not ever see our true selves, I guess so that we don't beat ourselves up about it

I've never liked that whole thing about symmetrical people being more attractive. One, who actually looks at a person and is internally measuring their symmetry? Two, how do all the asymmetrical people end up with people who think they are the most attractive person of all? I've always believed in another saying: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone's tastes will be different. And when you like who the person is on the inside, you'll find them beautiful on the outside, abnormalities and all.

[catfeeder]

13 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

...Looking forward to more updates in this....vein...lol.

Okay, there... she's going to do it... she does it...she did it...YES! ... a lovely drive out there to the field!

 

[mylolita]

Your vein can have its own fab club now Sindy! 
 

🤣 

 

Can I get one for my stretch marks too? ☝️

 

x

[Sindy_0311]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

Your vein can have its own fab club now Sindy! 

Can’t wait to get rid of them though 😅

Maybe I will putt them in a jar and expose them on my chimney 😆

[boltnrun]

13 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Can’t wait to get rid of them though 😅

Maybe I will putt them in a jar and expose them on my chimney 😆

I had surgery to remove a portion of my diseased intestines. I asked the surgeon to show me the section he took out after the surgery was over and I woke up. You should have seen the look on his face when I asked. 

I didn't get to see it though. I had a severe allergic reaction to the anesthesia so they were busy treating that. Bummer.