Fwb ended badly. What should I do know

[Alittlehelpplz]

For about 8 months I’ve been off and on sleeping with this girl. We are friends and one day things just expanded . We agreed that neither of us were in a place to have a relationship or having feelings for anyone else. Plus we work together so we decided to just keep it a sex thing and between ourselves. We agreed not to tell anyway. 
 
She broke rule 1 of our agreement. She told another coworker about us hooking up. A lady I deal with a lot. She got mad at me for telling her that was wrong. 
she told her in the beginning and I didn’t find out until months later. 
 

between this time we have stopped and started up again. I wouldnt be having our  meet ups if I was talking to someone else. 
overtime we became super close friends beyond the sex. We would talk on the phone forever.
about a month ago, she called me. Normally random calls was her asking if I was busy so we could hook up. this time she told me she was developing feelings for me. That she liked me, I told her nicely, I appreciate her feelings but I’m not interested in that way. She said she’s not looking for anything to change so I didn’t need ti say that. She just wanted to tell me. 
I started to distance myself, thinking it was for the best. She called me out on it and told me she was fine. So we started again. 

 

few weeks after that, she calls me and tells me she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. She said she’s going to block me. She said since I didn’t want a relationship with her and since I want to keep things quiet she doesn’t want to be friends or hook up anymore. 
I said ok, I understand. I wish her the best. She continues to want to talk about it. I said it was no worry about explaining, I know how it feels to have feelings for someone and them not being in the same place as you. She said ok and hung up. At work I treated her nicely like any other coworker and went on about my day. She messaged me it was no hard feelings and she’ll keep our past to ourselves. I said ok cool. 

it was probably 3 days later before she was calling again wanting to talk to me. I knew it was only because her sister didn’t care to deal or listen to the drama she has in her life. I was nice but didn’t really add anything to the conversation. 
we became kind of friends again but nothing like before. She asked me if I was free to hook up. You know, the dirty sexy talk kind of thing. I told her I was busy, which I was but really I just annoyed.  been Asking about 2 weeks now and keep saying I’m busy.
A day ago she drops a bomb on me saying she hasn’t had a period yet and just noticed this morning. I’m freaking out, as the conversation goes on, I becoming confused. She said she didn’t want to ruin my weekend with the news. I said, how long have you noticed you were late, she said a couple days. I asked what did the pregnancy test say. She said she hasn’t taken one. I asked did you need me to pick one up. She said no, I asked if something was wrong with why she couldn’t take it. No response. I said I’ll get a test, she said no I’m going to the doctor to get one. I ask again what’s going on. Nothing. 
She didn’t want to talk on the phone. She texted I’m calling them now, I said ok let me know. I didn’t hear from her for a little while. Then she text me that she isn’t. I said, thanks for letting me know. 
I wasnt to worried because everything sounded so odd the way she was texting.  spoke to my sister and she told me she was playing me to get my attention back. 
my sister quoted verbatim what she was going to say and she basically did. She told me to keep my distance from her because I don’t need the drama that comes with her. Since then she’s tried to call me and I haven’t picked up. At work I’m cordial and she is as well. Nothing more. Should I say anything to her or leave it alone. 

the reason I didn’t want a relationship with her 

from the time we started hooking up, I started to notice things I didn’t really care for about her. I understand everyone has their flaws but you have to make a decision on what’s big for you. Big ones for me was her lack of ambition, she’s a crap starter, keeps drama going at work, over dramatic and makes everything about her. But it was just sex so I didn’t care too much. 
real relationship, I would care 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

   At work I’m cordial and she is as well. Nothing more. Should I say anything to her or leave it alone. 

Good idea to stay polite and professional at work. This is too messy to continue. Be straight forward and tell her it's over. Stop stringing her along for sex. It should have ended when she confessed feelings.

Get yourself some condoms if you are going to randomly hookup. Not only to prevent the "I'm late" drama but for STDs. Be polite, tell her it's over then delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

[Batya33]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Good idea to stay polite and professional at work. This is too messy to continue. Be straight forward and tell her it's over. Stop stringing her along for sex. It should have ended when she confessed feelings.

Get yourself some condoms if you are going to randomly hookup. Not only to prevent the "I'm late" drama but for STDs. Be polite, tell her it's over then delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

I agree- sexual arrangements often have a short shelf life for just these reasons.

[Alittlehelpplz]

27 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Good idea to stay polite and professional at work. This is too messy to continue. Be straight forward and tell her it's over. Stop stringing her along for sex. It should have ended when she confessed feelings.

Get yourself some condoms if you are going to randomly hookup. Not only to prevent the "I'm late" drama but for STDs. Be polite, tell her it's over then delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

Thank you, that’s good advice. Oh trust me. I always use condoms and she also told me she took the pill. That’s why it sounded kind weird to me. But I’ll take that advice and just keep it cordial nothing more. Thank you 

[Andrina]

I would block her number now. Eventually when you date someone, you don't want this ex-FWB ringing you up and having a new dating prospect be turned off about what you'd been involved in. She also has proven to be a loose cannon. I'd consider looking for other employment to distance yourself even further. A good learning lesson of the types of people you shouldn't allow into your life.

[Capricorn3]

This is one girl you really need to steer clear of. Keep your distance and stay away.  Lesson learned and bullet dodged.

[Tinydance]

Well I don't think you should keep in touch with her at all probably because you don't particularly like her as  a person. I don't think you could really be friends with someone you don't actually like. I think she was trying to get attention from you by saying her period was late, etc. She could have taken the pregnancy test first and checked but she was trying to reel you in.

Do you think she's getting the message that you don't want to talk to her or see her? Like, if you don't answer her calls, does she call again? If she's not getting the message then I think you should probably just tell her politely that you lost interest. You didn't do anything wrong because your agreement was just sex and you stepped away when she said she has feelings for you. You aren't pursuing her at all so it's up to her to move on if she has feelings.

[MissCanuck]

This isn't diffcult, OP. 

Stop having sex with her and stop all communication outside of work. If she continues to call you, tell her directly that you don't want any more contact between you two since this fling needs to end.

 

[Kwothe28]

10 hours ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

from the time we started hooking up, I started to notice things I didn’t really care for about her. I understand everyone has their flaws but you have to make a decision on what’s big for you. Big ones for me was her lack of ambition, she’s a crap starter, keeps drama going at work, over dramatic and makes everything about her. But it was just sex so I didn’t care too much. 

I am sorry, but you brought all of this on yourself. You entered into a sex agreement with somebody very unstable and dramatic. Thinking how "its just sex, when I dont want it anymore I will leave". Sorry but it doesnt work like that sometimes. Especially with people like her. What is worst, she is your coworker. So even if you want to completely severe the ties, you still have to see her at work. 

You did extremely sloppy thing and now you are paying for it. So now you get an obsessive drama chick stalker who wants you to give her attention to the point she makes up pregnancy scares. Cut the ties with her and dont agree to be her friend or anything else. And pray to God she wont create you troubles at work.

[Batya33]

12 hours ago, Alittlehelpplz said:

Thank you, that’s good advice. Oh trust me. I always use condoms and she also told me she took the pill. That’s why it sounded kind weird to me. But I’ll take that advice and just keep it cordial nothing more. Thank you 

I wouldn't trust she is taking the pill, taking it regularly and being mindful about its interaction with an antibiotic ,etc.

[smackie9]

Sounds like she's not very level headed....those are the ones you break it off quick or never get involved in any shape or form. As we all advise, never get involved with a coworker. It's never a good idea. I agree with everyone. Block/delete her, and tell her to go no contact with you. 

[Sindy_0311]

Just tell her you don’t want to pursue a friendship. Tell her you had good times together but you are no longer interested and wish her well. And if she calls or texts again, then you block her. 
What is your question exactly?? 
 

[catfeeder]

There’s nothing more to say. Be civil and professional at work. Don’t text another word. 

You noticed she causes trouble and is hyper-dramatic, and it didn’t occur to you that she could direct that onto you at some point?

Anything personal you text or email can be used to harm you with your HR department, and consider anything you speak to be potentially recorded.

If this woman turns vindictive, you could have an issue with your job. Is this a place you hoped to build a career?