Should I leave my girlfriend and live alone?

[xkrizz]

Me 27 and my girlfriend 23 have been together for almost 4 years now but she left me a while ago and ended up in jail facing prison.

so far she’s been in jail for an entire year facing sentencing and me and her got back together about a year ago when she went in and we have been talking again and planning for our future.

We still fight occasionally but overall we are falling in love again and have been trying to get a new home for when she is released.

However,

I just moved into the apartment that we have been planning for and I love the place and it’s actually really peaceful not talking to her, she lost her phone privileges for fighting, so we have been writing to each other.

My lease does not allow felons so if she stayed I would lose my new home and I honestly fell in love with it. I have been thinking about not writing to her anymore anyways she’s really mean occasionally but I really love her.

I decided it might be best to just leave her even though we are engaged, because if she comes back I would have to struggle to pay another down payment and sign off a lease eventually which I’m not too excited to do.

What do you guys think I should do? We are supposed to get married but she’s still in jail for a minimum of 6 months still. Any advice?

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, xkrizz said:

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 4 years now but she left me a while ago and ended up in jail facing prison.

My lease does not allow felons so if she stayed I would lose my new home. I have been thinking about not writing to her anymore anyways she’s really mean occasionally 

Sorry this is happening. How old is she? A felony is pretty serious. Life after prison won't be a picnic for you since being a felon has a lot of problems connected to it as you found out. 

Please trust your instincts that this is not a good situation.  Stop contacting her. Enjoy your home and think of the future. 

[xkrizz]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How old is she? A felony is pretty serious. Life after prison won't be a picnic for you since being a felon has a lot of problems connected to it as you found out. 

Please trust your instincts that this is not a good situation.  Stop contacting her. Enjoy your home and think of the future. 

She is 23 I am 27.

[Batya33]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How old is she? A felony is pretty serious. Life after prison won't be a picnic for you since being a felon has a lot of problems connected to it as you found out. 

Please trust your instincts that this is not a good situation.  Stop contacting her. Enjoy your home and think of the future. 

I agree - it is not worth it or your future to stay involved with her.

[Tinydance]

Um, I'm actually surprised that your main concern is about the apartment. And not the fact that your girlfriend obviously committed some kind of relatively serious crime where the sentence is minimum six months. And that she's mean to you, you fight and she lost her phone privileges for fighting other people. You realise all this doesn't happen in most healthy relationships?

Your girlfriend is actually a criminal and even in jail she continues to fight and to treat you badly. One point if jail is for the person to get rehabilitated and prove they can change their behaviour. Some people even get released earlier for good behaviour and complying in jail. Obviously your girlfriend isn't making an effort to get better if she's continuing to fight.

[MissCanuck]

You need to end this relationship. 

It's going to bring you nothing but huge problems. 

[Capricorn3]

6 hours ago, xkrizz said:

What do you guys think I should do? We are supposed to get married but she’s still in jail for a minimum of 6 months still. Any advice?

First thing to do is to make better choices in partners.  Then my advice would be to not get married, especially knowing her history.  You're setting yourself up for a lot of drama, headaches and hurt ... and eventually divorce, which will cost you a lot of money.  There is no decent future with her. This will not end up being a happy, healthy or successful relationship (imo).  You can do a lot better.

[Cherylyn]

Cancel the engagement and wedding. 

[Coily]

I would say it depends on the charges she is facing. What are we talking here? Assault? Possession? Repeat DUI?

Now my inclination is to move on from someone like that, but sometimes there is more than what we get in a small bit of text. That's not for us to decide. You need to ask yourself more about what possible complications you will have to face with a fiance or wife with that history? Are you ready for the sacrifices that will require?

 

[Tinydance]

4 hours ago, Coily said:

I would say it depends on the charges she is facing. What are we talking here? Assault? Possession? Repeat DUI?

Now my inclination is to move on from someone like that, but sometimes there is more than what we get in a small bit of text. That's not for us to decide. You need to ask yourself more about what possible complications you will have to face with a fiance or wife with that history? Are you ready for the sacrifices that will require?

 

To me though most of those are still pretty serious. DIU even if you didn't actually hurt anyone is very likely to hurt or kill someone. I know some countries have harsher laws than others but if the sentence is minimum six months, it sounds serious. Also even if the person just has drug charges but she's physically fighting people so she's violent.

[Coily]

11 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

To me though most of those are still pretty serious. DIU even if you didn't actually hurt anyone is very likely to hurt or kill someone. I know some countries have harsher laws than others but if the sentence is minimum six months, it sounds serious. Also even if the person just has drug charges but she's physically fighting people so she's violent.

Not diminishing the crime, but if we have a hint as to what the charges are we can get a better understanding of her character. Some people make dumb mistake and get nailed.

As for the fighting, it is jail after all. I have friends who are corrections officers, and they mention that fights can involve usually non violent people. They get wrapped up in something, or are targeted as a show of dominance. My point being, jail/prison has a different set of rules than for the rest of us.

[LootieTootie]

What did she do to make her go to jail?