Terrible break up with my gf - Mentally ill?

[Wiseman2]

35 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

She blocked me on social and after 2 weeks she unblocked me asking me to wash her clothes.

You seem to be doing a lot of injustice collecting.  Sort of keeping a diary about how crazy she is.  So it doesn't seem like you want to stay friends with her to "help" her, but more so enjoy the drama .

[boltnrun]

18 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

2 of her so called friends told her to see a therapist. 

I think dignity, self respect and self love are missing! 

No, I would never ever treat a person like this even though he or she acted as an a$$. But then again she told me that because of my behaviour she acted this way 

Again, even if one of your friends or loved ones did something hurtful to you would you hit them or call them terrible names?

If not, why is it OK for her to do it?

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, LiakosN said:

What do you think? Is it possible that she has some kind of mental disorder?

She sounds certified crazy. And you not only sticked your D in crazy(never stick your D in crazy) but also are having an abusive relationship with her. She is already phisically abusive with you. Ditch her before you need a therapy because of an abuse you suffer.

[LiakosN]

11 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

This is not how it works, ever. 

Another metaphor: 

While driving I cut someone off by mistake—nothing drastic, the sort of annoying thing that happens. I wave my hand to apologize and the person waves back to say, "All good." 

A week later I make the same mistake with a different driver, but this time when I wave my hand the person drives into the side of my car, pulls me out of it, and punches me in the face. 

Neither of those reactions have anything to do with me and my behavior. They are reflective of the people I accidentally cut off, their character. 

This woman you are describing? She is the one who drives into the side of the car and starts hurting you. That is someone to stay away from. If that is not clear as day to you—and it's okay if it's not—then you should see this as a moment where life is telling you that you need some help clearing your lens.

 

 

Really your metaphorms help me like! Thank you bluecastle 😊

 

Need another one for this : I told her that I never felt that you want a relationship with me. And she replied that I did not treat her as a man nor I displayed manly enough behaviour for her to be in a relationship with me. 

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, LiakosN said:

Really your metaphorms help me like! Thank you bluecastle 😊

 

Need another one for this : I told her that I never felt that you want a relationship with me. And she replied that I did not treat her as a man nor I displayed manly enough behaviour for her to be in a relationship with me. 

Please see my response above. Abusive behavior has no excuse. If someone is mentally ill they see a doctor. If someone is mistreating you, you stay away.

I asked before, but what is missing from your life that you want someone who abuses you to be your 'friend'?

[LiakosN]

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You seem to be doing a lot of injustice collecting.  Sort of keeping a diary about how crazy she is.  So it doesn't seem like you want to stay friends with her to "help" her, but more so enjoy the drama .

Trauma bond or mazochism?! Hm! 

14 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Again, even if one of your friends or loved ones did something hurtful to you would you hit them or call them terrible names?

If not, why is it OK for her to do it?

I would not do that for sure! Ι think she has some anger issues 

[LiakosN]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Please see my response above. Abusive behavior has no excuse. If someone is mentally ill they see a doctor. If someone is mistreating you, you stay away.

I asked before, but what is missing from your life that you want someone who abuses you to be your 'friend'?

A human that I can discuss and have a good chemistry with in discussion. Never found one...

Could you elaborate on this? I told her that I never felt that you want a relationship with me. And she replied that I did not treat her as a man nor I displayed manly enough behaviour for her to be in a relationship with me. 

[boltnrun]

7 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

A human that I can discuss and have a good chemistry with in discussion. Never found one...

And you think this woman who insults you, calls you names and hits you will fulfill this need? How???

[LiakosN]

This happened in the past.. Hopefully it does not happen again.. That's how I am thinking of 

[bluecastle]

15 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Need another one for this : I told her that I never felt that you want a relationship with me. And she replied that I did not treat her as a man nor I displayed manly enough behaviour for her to be in a relationship with me. 

How dare you! I can't believe you just implied that my family are amoral crooks! How can you even expect me to answer this question after being so rude? You should be ashamed of yourself for using that kind of language with me, when all I've been doing is trying to help you! 

I'm not serious, but hoping to make a point.

Had I been serious? I would have shown you that I am a poster to ignore, because something is up with me that is only going to make you crazy. This woman is that to you. The reasons don't matter. The way it makes you feel is what matters.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, LiakosN said:

 she told me that she wanted an open relationship. Well, this kind of... "relationship" lasted 4,5 years.  the rest from distance. 

How far apart are you? How often do you see each other in person? 

Unavailable people choose other unavailable people. You're on/off, long distance and complain about how crazy and abusive she is.

However you don't even live in the same area no less the same house so it's a matter of just not talking to her anymore. You're not "stuck" in an abusive relationship, you're pursuing it.

[boltnrun]

6 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

This happened in the past.. Hopefully it does not happen again.. That's how I am thinking of 

What are you basing this "hope" on? 

The entire time you've known her she has abused you. Maybe not constantly but she always has. She does it because she likes it, BTW. She loves to see and hear you cower and beg and apologize and declare your love. It's a major power trip.

Someone like that isn't interested in being nice to you.

[SooSad33]

She is Toxic.  Learn that word.

NO excuse for her behaviour!  

Don't look into 'why or how'.  Fact is, she is abusive.  Did you like it?  Did it make you feel okay?

She is manipulative, she is physically abusive and she portrays her actions onto you!  Like it is YOU who's the bad one.

Somone who IS good for you is someone who is decent, kind, understanding, supportive etc.  Is she any of this?  I'm pretty sure you can admit the negative outweighs the positive with this... nasty woman!  ( My ex's oldest daughter was like this, and she ended up trauma bonding her BF, to where she has not lost all of her kids and he's sadly a lot like her 😕 ).

Keep away from Toxic people!  Simple.  Save yourself, think for yourself on what you DO deserve.  And never play their head games!

[Wiseman2]

28 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Trauma bond or mazochism?! 

Possibly some BDSM thing or trauma bond. Because in the time it takes you to write one post here you could text her "I'm sorry it's not working out", then delete and block her and all her people from ALL your devices, contact lists, social media and messaging apps.  It's not as if she's around the corner waiting to slash your tires. You're activity reaching out and participating.

[LiakosN]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

How far apart are you? How often do you see each other in person? 

Unavailable people choose other unavailable people. You're on/off, long distance and complain about how crazy and abusive she is.

However you don't even live in the same area no less the same house so it's a matter of just not talking to her anymore. You're not "stuck" in an abusive relationship, you're pursuing it.

Nowadays we are 45 min by car but normally after summer 2 airplane flights apart. Maybe 3 4 times per year was our contact 

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

What are you basing this "hope" on? 

The entire time you've known her she has abused you. Maybe not constantly but she always has. She does it because she likes it, BTW. She loves to see and hear you cower and beg and apologize and declare your love. It's a major power trip.

Someone like that isn't interested in being nice to you.

She was on and off abusive.. One day you are a star the other she was talking trash. Btw she was always saying that other people...and especially men are afraid of her constantly.. Like that it satisfied her to feel others are afraid of her. But she insisted on that she wants a fearless man. 

True. I was apologizing for my bad behaviour more that she did (maybe 2 times she did) 

1 hour ago, SooSad33 said:

She is Toxic.  Learn that word.

NO excuse for her behaviour!  

Don't look into 'why or how'.  Fact is, she is abusive.  Did you like it?  Did it make you feel okay?

She is manipulative, she is physically abusive and she portrays her actions onto you!  Like it is YOU who's the bad one.

Somone who IS good for you is someone who is decent, kind, understanding, supportive etc.  Is she any of this?  I'm pretty sure you can admit the negative outweighs the positive with this... nasty woman!  ( My ex's oldest daughter was like this, and she ended up trauma bonding her BF, to where she has not lost all of her kids and he's sadly a lot like her 😕 ).

Keep away from Toxic people!  Simple.  Save yourself, think for yourself on what you DO deserve.  And never play their head games!

Projection! Yeap, I m sure she was doing it.. Lots of people said this 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, LiakosN said:

Nowadays we are 45 min by car but normally after summer 2 airplane flights apart. Maybe 3 4 times per year was our contact 

Why is she only there in the summer?  It takes a lot of money and planning for being 2 plane rides apart. So you're deliberately investing in this drama. It's unclear what you might be avoiding in real life or in your full time local life, but reflect why you're choosing this drama compared to finding and dating real-life "sane" local women.

[Jaunty]

I hope you get the help you need to have a functional life with positive people in it.  

You don't have to hold a grudge and you can forgive - that takes place within yourself, it has nothing to do with her.    Reveling in all of this sick drama, though, is ... sick.  

[LiakosN]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why is she only there in the summer?  It takes a lot of money and planning for being 2 plane rides apart. So you're deliberately investing in this drama. It's unclear what you might be avoiding in real life or in your full time local life, but reflect why you're choosing this drama compared to finding and dating real-life "sane" local women.

Because we both work on different cities and we come back on our parents home for summer (as we don't work then) 

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, LiakosN said:

Because we both work on different cities and we come back on our parents home for summer (as we don't work then) 

Interesting you didn't answer his harder questions -you don't have to -here - but ask yourself what game you are playing with yourself to rationalize being in touch with a toxic and physically abusive person.

[LiakosN]

Hm! Do not think it is a game I am playing with myself.

Mostly it is a person that I do admire (despite what happened), I see lot of positive traits and I believe that in a friendship-like context it might be better (non violent / abusive). We can have great discussion topics and good chemistry in there. 

[Batya33]

10 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Hm! Do not think it is a game I am playing with myself.

Mostly it is a person that I do admire (despite what happened), I see lot of positive traits and I believe that in a friendship-like context it might be better (non violent / abusive). We can have great discussion topics and good chemistry in there. 

She's a package deal.  She's a person who has been physically violent and not apologized for it.  You don't get to parse out the "positive traits" - and if you're close friends and you argue she will likely resort to physical violence to "get her point across".  

[boltnrun]

18 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Hm! Do not think it is a game I am playing with myself.

Mostly it is a person that I do admire (despite what happened), I see lot of positive traits and I believe that in a friendship-like context it might be better (non violent / abusive). We can have great discussion topics and good chemistry in there. 

You "admire" someone who hits you, insults you and calls you terrible names and says you're "not a man"?

Wow.

[LiakosN]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

She's a package deal.  She's a person who has been physically violent and not apologized for it.  You don't get to parse out the "positive traits" - and if you're close friends and you argue she will likely resort to physical violence to "get her point across".  

I do not demonize her of course. She acted from fear, unconsiousness, selfishness and need for love. She has positive traits, as anyone. But yes, there were times we argue and she was offensive, expressing frustration. Seemed she didnt like that someone had another opinion. 

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

You "admire" someone who hits you, insults you and calls you terrible names and says you're "not a man"?

Wow.

Better word : appreciate for her good traits. 

[LiakosN]

Also, she didn't like to give her my opinion. Only if she asked me to.. Otherwise she got angry 

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

, she didn't like to give her my opinion. Only if she asked me to.. Otherwise she got angry 

No one likes that. You seem to antagonize each other quite a bit considering this is nothing more than an on/off summer romance when you're both staying with your parents. 

You both have completely different lives elsewhere, 2 plane rides apart. The problem is you're holding each other up with moving forward in life.

Why don't you have a local GF where you live and work?  

It's kind of silly to go to your home town for 3 mos only to get into fights with her. Do you even have plans for going anywhere in this relationship?

You depict her rather poorly in general but maybe the sex is good?