Terrible break up with my gf - Mentally ill?

[LiakosN]

I don't get angry when someone gives me an opinion. 

Sex was good back then.. But, I do not want to have sex anymore, nor I want to return to a romantic situation. 

We would be 1 more year apart and then we could stay together in the same place (guaranted)...

Didn't want to break up, because I really liked her as a person.. I have met so many girls, that if I wanted to have a new gf, I could. But se was the one that fullfilled me in many ways. Thats why I stayed. 

[boltnrun]

You consider her hitting you and telling you you're "not a man" just giving her opinion?

Do you hit people and insult them when you give your opinion?

[LiakosN]

She also told me that she would like to keep contact with me, because she appreciates me as a person as well. 

[boltnrun]

Yeah, no one else would stick around after getting punched and told they're "not a man". She wants her kicking toy to be available.

This is just sad. 

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Didn't want to break up, because I really liked her as a person.. I have met so many girls, that if I wanted to have a new gf, I could. 

But it's over now so you can move forward. She's just comfortable like old slippers. But you really don't get along and to the level of volatility that is destructive to both of you.

[LiakosN]

No, of course not. It's an act, not an opinion. 

Insulting and hitting is (according to her) a follow up to my bad behaviour. Part of me thinks maybe I WAS the person that cause her to act this way.. But, I am blaming myself with no reason and having sometimes trouble sleeping at night, thinking of the situation. 

With the way she speaks I was doubting my sexual identity. 

[boltnrun]

So again, if someone upsets you, do you react by hitting them, insulting them and calling them terrible names? And then blame them?

If not, why do you "admire" her?

And yes you do, you said so yourself. 

[LiakosN]

No, I would never do that. Because I do not get that furious/angry.

Admiration is for other facets of her personality. 

46 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Yeah, no one else would stick around after getting punched and told they're "not a man". She wants her kicking toy to be available.

This is just sad. 

I think the same. She told me once that: she is a woman and I am a child. But she was staying in this "relationship" with a child...

So you mean, as soon as she found another guy suitable for her she would have kicked me out?

Also she told me that I want to take advantage of her that's why I am speaking to her. But she did not elaborate. 

 

[Batya33]

39 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

No, I would never do that. Because I do not get that furious/angry.

Admiration is for other facets of her personality. 

I think the same. She told me once that: she is a woman and I am a child. But she was staying in this "relationship" with a child...

So you mean, as soon as she found another guy suitable for her she would have kicked me out?

Also she told me that I want to take advantage of her that's why I am speaking to her. But she did not elaborate. 

 

Even if you got angry with someone would you react with physical violence ? She will know you’re ok with being beat up if you continue to let her be near you. Do you have a good hospital nearby and solid health insurance ?  Because if she hits you and you’re not ready for it you can fall get a concussion or worse.  Heaven forbid. 

[boltnrun]

43 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

So you mean, as soon as she found another guy suitable for her she would have kicked me out?

What?  That's not even remotely close to what I said.

What I said is she keeps you around to hit, insult and call names.  No person with any shred of self-esteem would stick around for that treatment.  And that's what I think is sad, that you think you deserve to be hit, insulted and called names.

[Wiseman2]

57 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

 She told me once that: 

Also she told 

Here you go listing all the egregious stuff she allegedly did to you, then state how much you love her and want to be together.  Are you sure you're not listing all this because of sour grapes that she finally ended this mess? Somehow you don't portray your role in this collapse especially threatening her repeatedly. You two need to stay far apart. You're toxic to each other. Let go.

[LiakosN]

35 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

What?  That's not even remotely close to what I said.

What I said is she keeps you around to hit, insult and call names.  No person with any shred of self-esteem would stick around for that treatment.  And that's what I think is sad, that you think you deserve to be hit, insulted and called names.

She could easily find other toys

34 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Here you go listing all the egregious stuff she allegedly did to you, then state how much you love her and want to be together.  Are you sure you're not listing all this because of sour grapes that she finally ended this mess? Somehow you don't portray your role in this collapse especially threatening her repeatedly. You two need to stay far apart. You're toxic to each other. Let go.

No, I did not said I want to be together. No! Because she will be violent again and the risk is high. And I am welcoming the same behaviour again. 

She ended the mess in a violent way, because she said I am a liar, and I do things with other woman (and all those stuff I listed). I said to her that I tell white lies as everyone and she was insulted because she thinks she never lies. I don't go with other women. 

[LiakosN]

41 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

What?  That's not even remotely close to what I said.

What I said is she keeps you around to hit, insult and call names.  No person with any shred of self-esteem would stick around for that treatment.  And that's what I think is sad, that you think you deserve to be hit, insulted and called names.

And why all this behaviour? Which is her need to hit, insult and call me names? 

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

And why all this behaviour? Which is her need to hit, insult and call me names? 

That's for a health care provider to figure out if she chooses to seek input or if she gets herself into legal trouble and is forced to.  She doesn't need to do anything -she chooses to react to her feelings by using physical violence and insults. It's a choice.  

[boltnrun]

12 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

And why all this behaviour? Which is her need to hit, insult and call me names? 

Let's see...you let her, you keep coming back for more mistreatment, you apologize, beg, grovel, ask for forgiveness and tell her you love her.  So what conclusion is she supposed to reach?  You respond to abuse by saying you love her, therefore you love abuse.

What else is she supposed to think?

[LiakosN]

15 hours ago, Batya33 said:

That's for a health care provider to figure out if she chooses to seek input or if she gets herself into legal trouble and is forced to.  She doesn't need to do anything -she chooses to react to her feelings by using physical violence and insults. It's a choice.  

Yes! But she says I AM so immature that their bad self comes out only to me. 

[Batya33]

33 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Yes! But she says I AM so immature that their bad self comes out only to me. 

I see- so if you act immature you deserve to be beaten up and it's your fault she can't "help herself" but beat you up.  Does that make any sense to you?

[boltnrun]

33 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Yes! But she says I AM so immature that their bad self comes out only to me. 

So when someone is "immature" you also respond by hitting them, calling them names and insulting them?

That's not nice.

[LiakosN]

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I see- so if you act immature you deserve to be beaten up and it's your fault she can't "help herself" but beat you up.  Does that make any sense to you?

Actually no, it's not justifiable. She acts immaturely and projects it on me. 

5 hours ago, boltnrun said:

So when someone is "immature" you also respond by hitting them, calling them names and insulting them?

That's not nice.

Nope 

[LiakosN]

She was having sex with an immature kid..

She was staying because of my good traits. 

It doesn't make sense. 

[Batya33]

24 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

She was having sex with an immature kid..

She was staying because of my good traits. 

It doesn't make sense. 

Your thoughts of staying in touch / does that make sense to you ?  I mean actually acting on it?? Would you play with a dog who bit and attacked you and the owner took no responsibility?

[boltnrun]

If you go to a takeout restaurant and get food poisoning, go there again and again get food poisoning, go a third time and get food poisoning again will you keep getting food from that restaurant? Would you tell yourself "well, their fries are good" and keep going back?

[LiakosN]

13 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Your thoughts of staying in touch / does that make sense to you ?  I mean actually acting on it?? Would you play with a dog who bit and attacked you and the owner took no responsibility?

Hope the dog never bites in a different context. 

13 hours ago, boltnrun said:

If you go to a takeout restaurant and get food poisoning, go there again and again get food poisoning, go a third time and get food poisoning again will you keep getting food from that restaurant? Would you tell yourself "well, their fries are good" and keep going back?

You think that in a friendly - like context she would act the same? 

[Batya33]

36 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

Hope the dog never bites in a different context. 

You think that in a friendly - like context she would act the same? 

I think you should not try to find out because of the high risk of severe harm to you including physically.

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, LiakosN said:

You think that in a friendly - like context she would act the same? 

Yes.

The fact that you even want to be "friends" with your abuser is extremely concerning.