I am quite certain that my soulmate and I have crossed paths, but she has kids and man.

[Cherylyn]

9 hours ago, Citizen89 said:

What makes this tricky is that she has two small kids, so I'm asking the good folks in here what that means for me, if anything. Will I be part of that?

She has been with her husband for over 10 years.

Discussion: Can the kids be kept separate from this mega romance that blossomed? I don't mind kids at all, it's more the fact that their ages are critical.

Since she has no qualms with cheating on her husband even if it's emotional cheating,  it's up to you to pump the brakes. 

No, you will not be part of that regarding her two small kids.  If you want part of that,  wait until she is officially and legally divorced. 

No,  kids can't separate from this dalliance.  Kids are confused or will become confused because there's three people in this marriage arrangement and not two. 

Date women who are single which is safer for everyone. 

[boltnrun]

Just now, Cherylyn said:

Since she has no qualms with cheating on her husband even if it's emotional cheating,  it's up to you to pump the brakes. 

No, you will not be part of that regarding her two small kids.  If you want part of that,  wait until she is officially and legally divorced. 

No,  kids can't separate from this dalliance.  Kids are confused or will become confused because there's three people in this marriage arrangement and not two. 

Date women who are single which is safer for everyone. 

@Cherylyn, none of this has actually happened.  It's clear from the responses on the thread (if you read them it will be obvious).  There is no relationship.  It's a fantasy he's created in his own mind.

Which is sad, honestly.  

[Cherylyn]

Just now, boltnrun said:

@Cherylyn, none of this has actually happened.  It's clear from the responses on the thread (if you read them it will be obvious).  There is no relationship.  It's a fantasy he's created in his own mind.

Which is sad, honestly.  

@boltnrun Thank you.  Well then,  his fantasy is just that:  a fantasy.  It's time for him to wake up!  😏

[itsallgrand]

Wow this has escalated in a lot of ways since I responded this morning! .

[Tinydance]

8 hours ago, Citizen89 said:

No words uttered about him. I knew she was married before the ring was taken off. She doesn't need to do it. I see love in her eyes and she gets subdued, bordering on sad, when her private life is brought up. 

Anyway, assuming she does divorce, where does that leave me in relation to those two kids? What is the norm in terms of small kids?

Sorry but you sound very deluded in all aspects of this. What do you mean: "Can the kids be kept separate?" You mean not live with her or she not see them? They're her children and they're small. Do you expect her to just adopt them to someone else? You sound crazy.

[Tinydance]

8 hours ago, Citizen89 said:

 

Barrie Levine

J.D. (retired) from Boston College Law School (Graduated 1981)

"As a divorce attorney (formerly), I gave many initial consultations.

If a person came in without a ring, it meant the marriage was over and they wanted to advertise their availability as a single. "

Wow that's so profound lol Just because someone took off their ring doesn't mean anything. Maybe they just want to have sex on the side but have no intention of leaving their spouse.

[Tinydance]

7 hours ago, Citizen89 said:

Do you see any reason why I should say no to start dating her if she divorces? If so, please state why and what I can expect. And will the inclusion of two kids make this problematic?

It does make it problematic if you don't want to be the stepfather of two small children, which you will have to be if you date her.

[adviceplease2]

You're in for a lot of emotional pain as this continues.  Good luck to you.

[Jaunty]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

Wow that's so profound lol Just because someone took off their ring doesn't mean anything. 

Especially in this context.  The OP just started working there, supposedly.  If she wants to have sex (or, apparently, explode her life to start anew with this fellow) she is not going to get the ball rolling by removing her ring.   What difference would that even make to the outcome? 

[Tinydance]

6 hours ago, Citizen89 said:

Yeah it's fine. What I want to know is IF that's going to happen. She has been with her husband 11 years. I would be surprised if the takes a hike and ditches the kids..

No he wouldn't ditch his own kids, why would he? So yes he'll still be around in some capacity.

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

It does make it problematic if you don't want to be the stepfather of two small children, which you will have to be if you date her.

There is no relationship.  If you read through all the responses you'll see that he has basically invented the entire thing.  He thinks because she removed her wedding ring and wore perfume to the office one time it means she wants to leave her husband and date him.  Even though they have never even seen one another outside of work or even exchanged messages or phone calls.

I hope this turns out to be just a way to while away a Saturday afternoon rather than someone suffering from delusions.

[Jaunty]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

It does make it problematic if you don't want to be the stepfather of two small children, which you will have to be if you date her.

Maybe the two inconvenient children will handily disappear ... like the wedding ring?  

[Tinydance]

1 hour ago, Citizen89 said:

I never said we are in a relationship, I said that my status as single reached her, and she suddenly started wearing perfume and chat me up to flirt with her body language. I'm not naive.

And this means she's getting divorced? What evidence do you have she will get divorced? Is this a real post or a joke?

[Seraphim]

Normal sane people don’t toss their kids away. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[boltnrun]

2 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Normal sane people don’t toss their kids away. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

They won't.  Turns out all of this is just a fantasy created by the OP.

[Citizen89]

6 hours ago, boltnrun said:

They won't.  Turns out all of this is just a fantasy created by the OP.

Never claimed she's sane.

[Citizen89]

6 hours ago, Tinydance said:

And this means she's getting divorced? What evidence do you have she will get divorced? Is this a real post or a joke?

Stop wearing her ring means that, according to people who specialize in the field. And it's usually an ugly outcome.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Citizen89 said:

Stop wearing her ring means that, according to people who specialize in the field. 

Have you spoken to any jewelers about this? You could also ask at a department store if changing perfume is a sign of soulmates and impending divorce. 

It's possible the new perfume was a gift from her husband, but if you feel it's another signal that she's planning to elope with you,  perhaps try to research which perfumes are most associated with soulmates, affairs and divorces. 

Do you think her perfume and jewelry signals may be intended for that other guy at work who she talks to?

 

[Citizen89]

 

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Have you spoken to any jewelers about this? You could also ask at a department store if changing perfume is a sign of soulmates and impending divorce. 

It's possible the new perfume was a gift from her husband, but if you feel it's another signal that she's planning to elope with you,  perhaps try to research which perfumes are most associated with soulmates, affairs and divorces. 

Do you think her perfume and jewelry signals may be intended for that other guy at work who she talks to?

 

4. She Wears a Sexy Fragrance

"To discern whether this is a sign or not we’ll have to think back to your previous dates. Do you recall her wearing a pungent perfume during your first or second dates? If after getting to know you better she now dolls herself up, it means that she’s making a concerted effort to win your attraction"

[Citizen89]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Have you spoken to any jewelers about this? You could also ask at a department store if changing perfume is a sign of soulmates and impending divorce. 

It's possible the new perfume was a gift from her husband, but if you feel it's another signal that she's planning to elope with you,  perhaps try to research which perfumes are most associated with soulmates, affairs and divorces. 

Do you think her perfume and jewelry signals may be intended for that other guy at work who she talks to?

 

There's no other guy she talks to, no

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Citizen89 said:

 If after getting to know you better she now dolls herself up, it means that she’s making a concerted effort to win your attraction

It seems like after hiring you, she's looking for a promotion at work.   She's on the phone all day with a bunch of other male coworkers and of course her husband.

It's unclear whose "attraction she's trying to win", could it be the guy in the other department or the guy at the gym?   Perhaps wait until you actually have a coffee break together and more than just passing work politeness until you decide what to do.

[Citizen89]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

It seems like after hiring you, she's looking for a promotion at work.   She's on the phone all day with a bunch of other male coworkers and of course her husband.

It's unclear whose "attraction she's trying to win", could it be the guy in the other department or the guy at the gym?   Perhaps wait until you actually have a coffee break together and more than just passing work politeness until you decide what to do.

The thing is we can't speak romantically to each other since there's the risk of someone catching us or even hearing us. Can't touch each other. Sucks... But I'll think of something..

[Citizen89]

Maybe at the party when we're drunk. Can always blame it on that.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Citizen89 said:

 there's the risk of someone catching us or even hearing us. Can't touch each other. 

So that's the real reason she's just acting like a coworker?

[Citizen89]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

So that's the real reason she's just acting like a coworker?

She flirted once with her body language in the warehouse when everybody was behind her and nobody in there.