Guy I’m dating hasn’t been in touch on holiday.

[MagicRooster]

I’ve been reluctant to post here as I wouldn’t be sure of the response but I’m really unsure about how to proceed. 

I’ve been dating this guy for around 5 months now. It’s been a rocky road as he told me he’d been hurt before, so I’ve tread carefully and let him take the lead. The last time we met he took me to an upmarket restaurant for my birthday and told me how he thought we had chemistry. 
 

He went abroad on the other side of the world for business/vacation and has been gone for around a month and a half. I reached out twice to make sure he was ok and having a good time and he would respond with pictures and messages; also asking me how things were at home. 
 

His last message was that he was looking forward to seeing me when he got back. 
 

It’s been 3 weeks, he gets back on Saturday and he’s been mute. I decided not to send another text as I had reached out 2 times already and didn’t want to inundate him. 
 

I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this, I don’t know if I’m supposed to wait for him to get in touch and move on if he doesn’t bother, or reach out to greet him when he returns. 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, MagicRooster said:

or just reach out either way to greet him when he returns. 

Let him reach out to you. That not only solves the issue of not wanting to inundate, but it's also a good way to assess his level of interest.

[Coily]

Depending on where he went, it could be expensive for him to text much. Or he’s the type to disconnect from electronics when on a grand adventure.

Since you know when he’s supposed to get back, relax and hopefully he will spin a yarn of his travels.

[Jaunty]

I would probably take a 3 week silence after 5 months of dating as a pretty sure sign of low interest.  I'm sorry.  

If you're still into him, I advise letting him reach out first and then taking it from there.

[MissCanuck]

He’s not they interested, OP. 

I would stop putting yourself out there with him, and instead work on finding someone who shows a lot more enthusiasm for you. 

[poorlittlefish]

WiFi is available pretty much anywhere. Nobody is too busy 24/7 to send messages to the person they're supposedly in love with. He's been in a relationship for 5 months and there is zero excuse for his failure to maintain contact. He could have done so, but has chosen not to. It's like he forgot about you as soon as he boarded the plane and has likely been enjoying himself with others. I would not accept his behaviour and would move on.

[MagicRooster]

Thanks for the opinions.
Of course, I’m unhappy that it suggested he’s not all that interested. Things were left at such a high I’m surprised it’s come to this. 
 

I guess I’ll wait to see if he gets back in touch around Saturday but will keep my expectations low and start focusing on moving on. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, MagicRooster said:

Thanks for the opinions.
Of course, I’m unhappy that it suggested he’s not all that interested. Things were left at such a high I’m surprised it’s come to this. 
 

I guess I’ll wait to see if he gets back in touch around Saturday but will keep my expectations low and start focusing on moving on. 

He told you all you needed to know up front. Haven't we all been hurt before if we're over 18 or so -or at least most of us? Why did you go for him -was part of it the kind of thrill of the challenge of winning him over? That's safer than someone who is open to getting to know someone without feeling this overwhelming need to share negative baggage up front.  

It's easy to take someone to a nice restaurant.  You're excited because he shared that you two have chemistry? I mean that's kind of a low bar on your part.  Shouldn't that be obvious if he's going on more than 3-4 dates with you? Something is not right here on both your parts IMHO.

If he wanted to reach out he'd find a way -he'd send you a letter by expedited delivery, have flowers delivered with a note, he'd find a way.  I see this as low interest too and I'm sorry.  I'd move on unless heaven forbid he had some sort of health crisis -I hope not!

If he contacts you when he returns I'd be reserved. I'd agree to see him in person if he makes a plan in advance, seems really really excited to see you and also makes sure you know exactly why he wasn't in touch without any lame excuses. Otherwise I wouldn't waste my time.

[smackie9]

After 5 months of dating and all he said was he thinks you two have chemistry? You should be getting that on a first/second date. Don't expect much from someone you have to handle with kid gloves or it will be kinda rocky. You deserve better than that don't you think? This guy is lame. 

[Cherylyn]

Don't text.  Wait until you see him on Saturday and have a calm, peaceful discussion about this in person.  If his explanation is unsatisfactory, then perhaps he's not for you.  He doesn't sound that invested in you.  I'm sorry.

[JustMeMyselfI]

Definitely, he ghosted you. Perhaps he found someone and felt so guilty about it and decided not to reach out to you though he's already back. And I agree, nobody is too busy unless something happened (God forbid).

[limichelle]

I’m sorry OP. It sounds like he strung you along for five months only to loose interest. I would leave the ball in his court now. I however, would not wait for him. Live your life and find someone else. It does sound like he ghosted though. 

[OliviaJJJ]

No one is having that good of a time on vacation or business that they don't take a second to text if they're interested in someone. I'm away for a few months and find the time to text friends even to send a photo or a quick hello. If I had someone back home I was involved with, I would be keeping in touch. Also, I get reception in the jungle so any idea that they're cut off from the world is disingenuous. Wifi is literally everywhere. No one is cut off from the world for an extensive length of time.  I would see what happens when he returns if that's what you want or just make the decision to move on now.