TeeBell Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 I need some help finding a new perspective on my responsibilities as a mother and housewife. So for some back story my boyfriend and I have been dating for 14 years, we have a 10 year old child together and he did propose to me two years ago. I put off planning the wedding because it seemed really daunting trying to plan a wedding by myself (hes not really the type to join with that kind of stuff). Anyways at the beginning of our relationship we split everything 50/50. We both had full time jobs and we both split the rent and everything in half. After about 3 years of dating i got pregnant and i was really scared, we talked about it and he agreed that he would step up and pay my half of the bills (so now hes paying everything) while I was out of work due to having the baby. It was hard for me to get back to work and he had to continue to support us while I was home since i had to have an operation that didn't go very well so I was laid up for a while. Once I got better we kind of decided that he would pay the bills and I would do all of the domestic things like laundry dishes taking care of the baby and grocery shopping cleaning and all that. Well that was fine while I wasn't working but then I got better and we got childcare so I could go back to work. I paid for childcare while I was working but that was what most of my check was going to so I knew I needed a better job, we moved shortly after into a house instead of an apartment so my household duties got more intense taking care of a whole house now instead of just a tiny apartment. well fast forward 10 years to now, the last couple of years I have been so burnt out. I work from home now I have a good job that pays decent and he works a night shift. I pay both our phone bill, and food bill and whatever our 10 yr old needs for school and etcetera and whatever else we might need. He still pays 100% of the rent and the electric bill and gas bill. Lately I have been getting so burnt out, having trouble managing my emotions and just feeling overwhelmed, I always have so much to do with doing all the laundry and cooking every night for everyone I also make his lunches for work and make sure he has everything he might need. I also take care of the house and groceries and all that as well as now driving our daughter to after school events and sleepovers and anything that involves her I do. I basically do everything... he works and comes home and plays video games then goes to bed. I feel like I'm starting to have some resentment towards him but I shouldn't because I'm the one who agreed to this. And yes I have tried asking him for help but he DOES NOT like to help at all. He will put off tasks until I just do it because I cant wait all day on him so at this point I just don't even ask anymore. I just feel like an empty shell of myself, we cant even go out cause its too expensive, he sleeps all day cause he works at night so I never see him or get to talk to him and our daughter goes to school and I work from home alone all day in the dark (my work desk is in the bedroom where he sleeps so I have to be very quiet all day and work with the lights off) and now I'm just feeling like my brain is breaking. I'm constantly in charge of everything, when they eat, what they eat, what clothes they wear (i buy everything that's not related to bills so i buy everyone's clothes and all that kind of stuff) I have to manage my time so that when I get off work I can either go get our daughter or bring her somewhere and also make sure that I have time to make dinner and that everyone is taken care of and all their needs are met. All of this really makes me feel like a single mom and I feel horrible about whining because lots of single moms do this every day. I need to find a way to be more happy in my life, I feel so stressed out all the time especially while trying to plan a wedding as well! I just wish I could be everything they need me to be and more but I'm just... mediocre. I never do the laundry regularly cause I'm always busy, I burn dinner ALOT. I'm late picking up our daughter for her after school programs and I over spend when I go to the grocery store. I don't know what to do I need to be more efficient and just better overall. if you read this far thank you so much for reading this and please if anyone can help me, I would really appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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