Is he into me?

[BreeStar27]

Last night I went out on a date with a guy off Tinder. We both wanted a serious thing. He seemed a little nervous (as was I) but we had a nice conversation over some drinks and the date went well! There just wasn’t that much flirting going on, I think because we were both shy. At the end of the date he looked visibly nervous. But we hugged (he hugged me tightly) and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I said if you want to do something else then just text me. When I got home I waited an hour and messaged him again thanking him for the drinks. He said no problem, I had a great time. I responded with me too :). I haven’t heard from him at all to plan another date. Not sure if he’s ghosting or if he likes me. Usually in my experience if a guy is into me he will ask me out as soon as possible.

[kctiger]

Just be patient. There may be a number of reasons he hasn’t hit you up for another date, so just enjoy yourself and let things play out naturally. If you don’t hear from him after a few days, maybe a week, then that could be a sign he wasn’t feeling you. But I’m a guy, and I typically wouldn’t ask a girl out on another date the day after our first date. 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, BreeStar27 said:

Last night I went out on a date with a guy off Tinder. I haven’t heard from him at all to plan another date. 

Last night? Take a deep breath and relax. Try not to overtext. Asking you out again asap is not by any means a standard. 

Lay back and let things unfold. Try to stay a bit detached to an outcome after just a first meet. If he texts you again for another date, great, if not, don't worry.

[Batya33]

How is this ghosting? He responded to your text and even if he hadn't after a first meet do you really want a response like "you are SO beautiful and amazing -any guy would be lucky to have you!!!! I am not ready for a serious relationship and I can tell you are so I don't want to lead you on.  All the best to you and hope you find your Prince Charming!!!"

Please.  After a first meet assume that if there is no plans for a next date there is no next date unless and until he asks you for a real first date.  Also why did you text to thank him?? Did you forget to thank him on the date and if so why? Seems to me it was a transparent thing to shout to him "please please please ask me out again!! respond with an invitation, ok?? I know I thanked you earlier but this is a great excuse to text again!!

Also please don't be so eager on a first meet.  He knows if he wants to see you again what to do -and you hugged him so he knows you would say yes. Simply say with a confident tone "I really enjoyed meeting you!" And then either ask him for an official first date if you like -that you suggest with a time and suggested place/activity - or simply make good eye contact and please know that if he wants to see you again and you've shown interest and thanked him if he paid - that's all - he doesn't need pushing from you to know he can ask you for an official first date. 

I don't think it's any sort of sign if there's no specific plan at the end of the date at all -just assume for reality and sanity purposes that if there isn't there is no next date unless one is planned in the future, and move on with your life. 

No he didn't ghost you - if he doesn't ask you out (and you told him how available you were -all he has to do to "do something" is text you and you'll jump to attention - look - be a wee bit less available -your time is valuable -if he wants the privilege of seeing you again then he can suggest a time and place and then you will tell him if you are free that day. If you are not free you will suggest a time you are free but please don't tell a near stranger that you're always free just text me -that's the impression you gave IMO).  

Also whether he was attracted to you is a different matter from whether he wants to go on a date with you.  I declined dates with a number of men who I was attracted to and "into" in that way.

[catfeeder]

Sometimes my calendar is in a state where I can’t add to it easily at a given moment. It’s a combo plate of filled plus a few things still up in the air that I’m waiting to land or open up the time.

Allow for this with others, and don’t consider it a reflection on you.

 

[lostandhurt]

One of two things going on here.

One he is playing it cool so as to not look to eager and desperate.

Or

He met you and wasn't feeling it like he hoped.  I am sure it has happened to you before right?

You were really clear with him to let you know if he wanted to do something else again so if you don't hear from him in a few days forget about him and move on.

Most first meets don't turn into something.

Lost

 

[Jaunty]

The only one who knows whether he's "into" you is the man himself. 

You'll know the answer soon enough.  He will ask you out, or he won't.    I know it's stressful and anxiety provoking but that's what we get when we date.  

 

[Kwothe28]

I am going to be blunt: If he hasnt initiated at least something already, his interest is not there. Meaning that if he hasnt at least messaged to even ask how youve been, there is a very low chance he is interested in continuing anything. I know you make excuse for him being shy, but even shy ones can text and make an interest. He just wont. You gave him a hint that he should, the rest is up to him. Dont message him anymore, even your first message after was too much when you clearly passed the ball in his court to contact you for another date if he wants.

[kim42]

Wait at least one day to see if he sends you a message, however, if he doesn't text you by tomorrow, I would assume he's probably not that interested. 

I'm from Europe, so maybe it's different over here, but usually when a guy likes you and wants to see you again, he will either text you right after the first date, or the next day.

[Wiseman2]

On 11/5/2022 at 8:00 PM, BreeStar27 said:

. I said if you want to do something else then just text me. When I got home I waited an hour and messaged him again 

Don't chase this hard or repeatedly text. Try not to let anxiety drive your dating steps. It's very important to be relaxed and not come across as a clinger.

Maybe he is busy or wants to breathe. Same day/next day asking for the next date is not standard and does not mean there is no interest.

 

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I know you make excuse for him being shy, but even shy ones can text and make an interest.

My husband was incredibly shy and this was pre internet so he had to call me to ask me out for lunch -and we worked at the same company.  You showed him a lot of interest in dating him so it's not about shy in this case IMO.

[Batya33]

36 minutes ago, kim42 said:

Wait at least one day to see if he sends you a message, however, if he doesn't text you by tomorrow, I would assume he's probably not that interested. 

I'm from Europe, so maybe it's different over here, but usually when a guy likes you and wants to see you again, he will either text you right after the first date, or the next day.

Yes- common sense -you were interested, OP so right on the spot you told him actually you'd be available for anything and all he had to do was text -so it's totally fine if he waits a couple of days (I didn't have a cell phone when I dated and they were new so usually the guy called within a few days to set up the next date and had plans in mind typically days in advance for a weekend night not "let's do something later today"

So if you were up for showing your interest in dating he should show his interest hopefully in the next few days.  but again -no "waiting" -tell yourself if there is no time/place plan for a next date (the first date -as this was just a first meet) then there is no date and if things change you'll know!

[kim42]

I also agree with what others have said - you already showed him that you're interested so it's his turn now, I wouldn't text him again. Try to stay busy in the meantime - I know, easier said than done, but I'm sure you have more interesting things to do than just to wait for his message! 🙂 

[smackie9]

He went through the date, and really didn't make any steps to nail down another date. You were the one that initiated everything...the hug, asking to hit you up for another date, thanking him for the date. He just reciprocated very lightly. He was just being a gentleman/manners, responded politely. He's not interested.

[Cherylyn]

It was only last night.  Give him a chance to ask you on another date.  Wait a couple of days.  Or, why don't you become bold by asking him about getting together soon?  The man doesn't always have to initiate every date.  These are modern times!  Plan a date, set a date and do something.  Some guys are shy and it's up to you to think of a plan.  Meet for lunch, coffee, dinner, take walk, figure out some sort of enjoyable outing and the like.  If he's not interested or declines repetitively, there is your answer.  He's not serious about you and will fade away.  Then follow suit and do likewise.  Don't play guessing games. 

I remember when I dated my husband.  We went out to dinner a lot, movie theater, theaters for plays, attended musical theater,  attended ballets, symphonies,  attended friends' backyard BBQ's (barbecues), went on picnics at parks and lakes, went boating for the afternoon on the lake, went miniature golfing, visited museums, got together with friends, went for walks and there were so many enjoyable ideas and activities to suggest from both of us.   

[Spawn]

Don't chase now chase after 3 days:) go binge watch Manifest season 4 for a change...

basically you need to relax and don't worry on the whys for now.