Did I overreact to the situation?

[GEC0upl3]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year. The relationship has been good besides some minor disagreements which I feel is normal. I started losing a little bit of trust in her and I have expressed it to her. I told her that my gut tells me that she wouldn't make the right decision when she is faced with an opportunity. 

My outlook is: guys will flirt and approach girls they find attractive and vise versa. We can never stop that but what we can do is not entertaining it. I feel like small things like a text and flirting can lead to other things so why even start it. When you think about cheating or any kind of betrayal, the betrayal never starts without smaller other steps that leads to the betrayal. 

My girlfriend got a text from a local number with a picture of a girl. She told me about the wrong number text but never went any further. I was surprise to know a few days when she told me that she texted the number back asking for more pictures. She tried to clean it up and say it was from a same gender person but to me it was the overall picture not the gender. The number ended up being a scam/spam but that doesn't change the fact about it because she didn't know that at the time.

I told her that opportunities like that will come up all the time and it's for us to make the right decision. I see a relationship as a contract or home between two people. Board put all the doors, windows and etc. because its our responsibility to protect it and we can't count on outsiders to people something they hold no investment in. Why entertain such and put our relationship at risk. So my gut was right she failed to make the right decision. My thing is what happens if that was a real local person? Now you are possibly putting the relationship at risk. 

I can say that I've lot a bit more trust in her. My walls are up not because I am being mean but rather as a defense. We both want to work it out and build trust again but neither of us know where to start. 

Did I over react to the situation? 

How and where do we start to build the trust again?

[boltnrun]

Yes, you overreacted.

Do you think she should cut off all her friends? Maybe not spend time with her family? Maybe she should change jobs or even stop working because men work there or are customers? Do you think she should only leave home if you're with her? Should she cover up when she does go out in public in case men look at her?

If you don't trust her and want to put her on some kind of lockdown, why bother being in a relationship with her?

[Coily]

You definitely overreacted. I can understand being concerned, but this is a level of control and guilt tripping that was not warranted. She mentioned this incident openly, which showed she was nothing but honest with you.

Yes building a solid relationship requires a defense against the cold hard world, but this is not a healthy way to go about building it.

For the sake of your relationship, learn to trust her more and let the foundations grow with both of you laying the stones.

[MissCanuck]

Yes, you overreacted. 

This text was a nothing burger. She followed up to see what it was about it. That's it. It was not opening a proverbial door to nefarious behaviour. This is your fear and insecurity speaking. 

If you really have that little trust in her judgment, you need to not date her. Just end it now. 

[DarkCh0c0]

4 hours ago, GEC0upl3 said:

I started losing a little bit of trust in her and I have expressed it to her

What led to that? Was there something concrete she had done that provoked the lack of trust?

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, GEC0upl3 said:

. I told her that my gut tells me that she wouldn't make the right decision when she is faced with an opportunity. 

How old is she? You seem condescending and controlling.

What's this talk about "making the right decision when faced with an opportunity"? That sounds like dad talking to a teen.

Stop it. You're jealous of spam and robocalls, what is up with that? You shouldn't be obsessed with her phone anyway.

 

[smackie9]

If you have to look at their phone, and them be scrutinized to earn your trust, then you are not mature enough to be in a relationship. Being controlling due to your insecurity is not very flattering. You are the one that is jeopardizing the relationship not her. If she is the type to find any opportunity to be flirty with other people, you simply dump her and move on. By the sounds of it tho, there is no proof she is doing anything bad. Let me guess...the arguments were started by you. 

[Seraphim]

Yes, you overreacted. 

[Cherylyn]

Yes,  you overreacted.  Don't create drama nor stir up trouble when there isn't any for argument's sake.  Don't stir the pot otherwise you will cause an unnecessary fight.  Pick your battles.  Let it go. 

[catfeeder]

Falling for a phishing scam doesn't equal a deliberate attempt to deceive a partner.

Sounds as though you're conflating those things.