Former flatmate texted me out of the blue then ghosted

[RuedeRivoli]

My former flatmate (male) suddenly wrote me on Friday night saying they were thinking of me and wanted to drop a line. I moved out two years ago and hadn’t heard from them since. I responded politely and they’ve remained radio silent.

I’m now suspecting it was a drunk text and they just realized what they’d done when they sobered up.

Why disturb my peace if you can’t be bothered to respond.

Should I just block him?

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, RuedeRivoli said:

Should I just block him?

Was there ever anything there? Yes block him.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, RuedeRivoli said:

Why disturb my peace if you can’t be bothered to respond.

Interesting choice of words. 

Did it bother you that he decided to say hi? If so, why? What's the backstory with this guy?

If not, I wouldn't think anything of it. Maybe he will write again soon. Maybe he was drunk.  I wouldn't care much if it's someone I haven't spoken to in 2 years. Just a random hello. 

[Lambert]

1 hour ago, RuedeRivoli said:

Should I just block him?

Yes. 

If they bother you, protect yourself. 

[Rose Mosse]

1 hour ago, RuedeRivoli said:

My former flatmate (male) suddenly wrote me on Friday night saying they were thinking of me and wanted to drop a line. I moved out two years ago and hadn’t heard from them since. I responded politely and they’ve remained radio silent.

I’m now suspecting it was a drunk text and they just realized what they’d done when they sobered up.

Why disturb my peace if you can’t be bothered to respond.

Should I just block him?

That’s up to you. I’m not sure why you’re bothered by one text. Did this person make your life difficult? 

[Kwothe28]

I dont think there is a reason to block. Block is for exes, somebody rude etc. For somebody that suddenly remembered that you exist, shoot a message and forgot in the morning? Eh, I dont even think that you should be bothered to block. That is an aquitance level friendship and basically somebody that would maybe just say "Hi" in the street and move on. Where you "offended" that he did not respond again?

[Cherylyn]

I wouldn't block him unless both of you are estranged from a history of bitter, heated arguments.   

If it was a random "hello," let it go. 

Follow his cue.  If he contacts you again and if you're in the mood to engage in a friendly dialogue or see each other again in the future, then see where this conversation takes you.  If you have permanent zero interest resuming friendship, then yes, block him.  However, know what you're doing because once you block someone, it is very final. 

[Batya33]

Stuff happens.  Who knows.  He didn't ghost you.  He simply randomly texted you and didn't follow up. What peace did he disturb?   No biggie no need to do a darn thing at this point except maybe ask yourself why this level of focus on a random text? I'm not sure why you identify him as male and they -does this have to do with your prior interactions with him?

[boltnrun]

3 hours ago, RuedeRivoli said:

My former flatmate (male) suddenly wrote me on Friday night saying they were thinking of me and wanted to drop a line. I moved out two years ago and hadn’t heard from them since. I responded politely and they’ve remained radio silent.

I’m now suspecting it was a drunk text and they just realized what they’d done when they sobered up.

Why disturb my peace if you can’t be bothered to respond.

Should I just block him?

Is this someone you had a "more than flatmate" relationship with?

[RuedeRivoli]

1. I mentioned "male" because from experience men text differently than women. 

2. There was never any romantic inclination on my end or his. 100% there will never be one. We were just "friendly" flatmates who got along. We never fought or had arguments during the 4 years we shared that flat. 

3. I simply find it rude to text someone then ghost once you get an answer regardless of who it is. He did not forget he texted me since he read my message. It's happened to me with a few people before and it honestly is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you're not going to continue the conversation or have no real purpose in texting me then don't text. It's even more rude when it comes from people you never hear from. It's just bad etiquette and always annoys me regardless of who does it.

4. We shared a flat for 4 years sharp. It's quite a long time. It doesn't have much relevance to this thread, but just to say he's not a random.

[Rose Mosse]

15 minutes ago, RuedeRivoli said:

1. I mentioned "male" because from experience men text differently than women. 

2. No there was never any romantic inclination on my end or his and 100% there will never be one. We were just "friendly" flatmates, 

3. I simply find it rude to text someone then ghost once you get an answer regardless of who it is. He did not forget he texted me since he read my message. It's happened to me with a few people before and it honestly is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you're not going to continue the conversation or have no real purpose in texting me then don't text. It's even more rude when it comes from people you never hear from. It's just bad etiquette and always annoys me regardless of who does it.

Oh I hear you. If it happens a lot, it can be annoying as it just shows lack of presence and general meaningless. It’s much better to keep in touch with people who make time or want to engage in meaningful conversation. 

On the other hand, I tend to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they’re on vacation, going through an illness or helping a family member. Life is way too short to hold grudges against someone I’d barely know. I don’t know if I’d spend another second thinking about it.

It’s completely up to you. Ignore it or block him. No hard and fast rule here. 

[Cherylyn]

If you truly do not like him and offended by his habitual ghosting rudeness, then block him.  

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Block is for exes, somebody rude etc. 

And... block is for drunk texters.

[RuedeRivoli]

9 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Oh I hear you. If it happens a lot, it can be annoying as it just shows lack of presence and general meaningless. It’s much better to keep in touch with people who make time or want to engage in meaningful conversation. 

On the other hand, I tend to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they’re on vacation, going through an illness or helping a family member. Life is way too short to hold grudges against someone I’d barely know. I don’t know if I’d spend another second thinking about it.

It’s completely up to you. Ignore it or block him. No hard and fast rule here. 

We shared a flat for 4 years sharp, so "barely" know is a huge stretch. I get your point though.

[RuedeRivoli]

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

And... block is for drunk texters.

I'm suspecting he was indeed drunk. He wasn't an alcoholic, but he certainly liked to drink.

[Kwothe28]

20 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

And... block is for drunk texters.

Just dont think it warrants such a big reaction from OP. What are they gona do? Not text and ask how he/she/whateverpronoun is doing for another 2 years? I think OP will have its peace regardless. If it bothers OP that much, then OK. Just dont see why. I would be bothered if maybe a long time friend does it. But aquitance that you havent heard in 2 years? Who really cares? Again, they are just people who say "Hi" on the street. Or in this case somebody already relegated to that.

[SooSad33]

6 hours ago, RuedeRivoli said:

My former flatmate (male) suddenly wrote me on Friday night saying they were thinking of me and wanted to drop a line.

I guess they just wanted to do so.. 'drop you a line'.

I agree,, don't disturb your 'peace'.  ( If it hurts you, then yes. remove them totally).

 

[RuedeRivoli]

People are so hung up on the "disturb my peace" part - it was just a sarcastic comment. It's not that deep really.

My reaction is not "big" at all. I'm suspecting it is a drunk text since he hasn't answered hence the question about blocking him potentially.

I've been through a lot lately so trust me, I'm not super hung up on this. I've bigger things going on.

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, RuedeRivoli said:

I'm suspecting it is a drunk text since he hasn't answered hence the question about blocking him potentially. I've been through a lot lately so trust me

Yes block him. You have no reason to be in contact and background noise like this is unnecessary. It's like car alarms going off in your neighborhood. Not a 'big deal' but annoying.

I never understood the "blocking is "mean" or "immature" mentality. It's like saying locking your car or home is "mean or immature" because it makes it harder for unwanted people to enter your property and your phone is your property too.

In this case however the onus is on you to secure your own phone appropriately including deleting blocking dead weight and negativity from popping up.

[Batya33]

Since you have bigger things going on I'd block him since it annoys you so much.  Of course it's annoying but it's not ghosting -that's when a good friend stops responding to texts when you've been in touch for a long time.  With no explanation.  It hurts! I agree with Rose - he may have thought he responded but forgot to click send, etc.  I think you were more annoyed than typical because life is stressful for you now -so yes block him. I'm sorry you're going through a lot otherwise.