Family and Life Updates

[boltnrun]

Yeah, but if my coworker was exposed he shouldn't be in the office. That was drilled into us. He might just have a cold or something and is bring considerate. 

My cousin is back in the ICU. I did a quick Google search and many, many people have recovered from sepsis even when they had been ventilated. So I'm hoping for the best. And the hospital will not disclose any info to me. Even if I was to go there in person. Immediate family only. I already asked. 

[Batya33]

Hoping she recovers soon and is better tomorrow!

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Hoping she recovers soon and is better tomorrow!

It's likely she is going to be hospitalized for at least three more weeks. Her doctor told my other cousin this is a long haul illness. That aligns with everything I read. But however long it takes to get her better. That's all we want, for her to heal and recover.

Thanks for the kind words. 

[boltnrun]

Just got an update on my cousin. It's not good. I texted my brother to tell him. He's either been giving me snarky responses when I send updates or he ignores them. I'm not going to say anything to him about his snarky, two word reply because we're all upset enough as it is and there's no need to start an argument now. But his way of dealing with illness is to pretend it isn't happening and that kind of makes me crazy.  

Everyone deals in their own way. 

[Seraphim]

I am so sorry. Hugs . 

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Just got an update on my cousin. It's not good. I texted my brother to tell him. He's either been giving me snarky responses when I send updates or he ignores them. I'm not going to say anything to him about his snarky, two word reply because we're all upset enough as it is and there's no need to start an argument now. But his way of dealing with illness is to pretend it isn't happening and that kind of makes me crazy.  

Everyone deals in their own way. 

I had a similar situation with a cousin who was his father's caretaker (father passed away a few months ago) -I'd text an open ended "how are you doing" and maybe a response that was meaningful and then right away weird jokes/references to pop culture and weird emojis - I wasn't "prying" or "pushy" to "get him to open up" but the way he in particular jokes is to put up a wall/create distance/change the topic.  I love banter -this quickly becomes crazy making so I reach out briefly so he knows I care.. then leave the ball in his court (meaning now with all the matters he has to handle on behalf of his dad plus work crazy work shifts)

I think you are doing your best in reaching out and keeping him informed. Hugs.

[boltnrun]

My brother just will not deal. He thinks doctors are evil and that they cause illness and injury. And sickness upsets him terribly so he just sticks his head in the sand and pretends it isn't happening. He refuses to see a doctor and will wait until he is so bad off he needs hospitalization or surgery and then blames the doctors for "making" him go through procedures. He does admit his attitude about doctors is messed up but he doesn't want to adjust. We've had this conversation a few times but I know better than to try to convince him to take care of his health by getting regular physicals. He won't do it. And he would rather just not hear anything about any loved ones who are ill. It makes me crazy because I feel he has the right (and I feel I have an obligation) to be informed but he either just ignores me or gives a short, sarcastic response. But if I don't tell him he would probably be upset at that too. Just don't know what he wants me to do. 

I just want her to get better. No matter how long it takes. 

[boltnrun]

Just trying to distract myself to get through the day. I feel guilty for doing "normal" things but I know that's not logical. 

[boltnrun]

My brother is definitely Mr. Cranky today. It could be because he's worried about our cousin. I was texting him about something completely unrelated and he was giving responses like I didn't know what I was doing or that I was being deceived and couldn't even tell. He tends to do that when he's in a bad mood or someone has hurt him. I usually leave him alone when he's like this. It's the main reason I moved out of his house. He had been picking on me about trivial things and even had gotten to the point where I had to keep my cat closed up in my bedroom because he kept finding fault with the normal cat things she was doing. 

I love him and will support him to the end of my days but that doesn't mean we think each other is perfect! 

[Seraphim]

42 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

My brother is definitely Mr. Cranky today. It could be because he's worried about our cousin. I was texting him about something completely unrelated and he was giving responses like I didn't know what I was doing or that I was being deceived and couldn't even tell. He tends to do that when he's in a bad mood or someone has hurt him. I usually leave him alone when he's like this. It's the main reason I moved out of his house. He had been picking on me about trivial things and even had gotten to the point where I had to keep my cat closed up in my bedroom because he kept finding fault with the normal cat things she was doing. 

I love him and will support him to the end of my days but that doesn't mean we think each other is perfect! 

I would probably chew my brother’s backside for being nasty with me. That kind of stuff really sets me off. My mom’s brother is like that. He called her stupid and started telling her she was senile and dumb because she is moving and he doesn’t want to lose her . 

[boltnrun]

11 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I would probably chew my brother’s backside for being nasty with me. That kind of stuff really sets me off. My mom’s brother is like that. He called her stupid and started telling her she was senile and dumb because she is moving and he doesn’t want to lose her . 

Oh, no, no , no.  He has never, ever called me names or used insulting language toward me. He just "mansplains" because he thinks I don't see what's in front of me sometimes. But in this case he was misinterpreting what I told him and made assumptions based on his misinterpretation.  So I told him what the actual situation was. 

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Oh, no, no , no.  He has never, ever called me names or used insulting language toward me. He just "mansplains" because he thinks I don't see what's in front of me sometimes. But in this case he was misinterpreting what I told him and made assumptions based on his misinterpretation.  So I told him what the actual situation was. 

I get it now. I am lucky my brother doesn’t mansplain to me or get irritated. He knows better 😂 He just lets me have my role as oldest sibling and he is much quieter than I am. 

[boltnrun]

He is definitely more moody than I am. When I'm upset or anxious I tend to turn it inward while he tends to "pick on" those closest to him. No insults or degrading language, more of nitpicking and being irritated by normal, everyday things. He told me when I was living with him a few years ago that I was closing the microwave door "too loudly" and it was disrupting him.  He closed the door to the room I was using during an online work meeting because he said it was "too loud" and as a result I lost the Internet connection and got dropped from the call in the middle of a presentation. Things like that. And that's why I chose to move out. 

But I know that if I was in a dire situation he would help immediately. And despite his extreme aversion to anything medical he brought me to the hospital, stayed during the surgery and sat with me in the hospital room until I was awake when I had major surgery.  

So I guess it's typical siblings. We annoy the piss out of one another but also love one another dearly.

I'm lucky to have a close network of cousins as well. 

[Seraphim]

My brother and I don’t see each other often but we love each other to death. He would do anything for me and me for him . He is more diplomatic than I am. I am more the kind to get up someone’s snoot if they bother me . His ex wife tried her best to split him up from us . But we do love each other a lot . I am glad it is the same for you and your brother . 

[boltnrun]

As far as I know my cousin is still in the ICU.  Her husband reported a couple of days ago she is in critical condition.  But this morning he was on Facebook posting a funny meme and a meme about his favorite sports team.  So I don't know if he's just trying to distract himself or if he's just carrying on as usual.  This is the cousin with the husband who has all of the mental health issues and attempted suicide last year.  So it's hard to know if he even knows what's appropriate in this situation.  I guess, who really does?  I just don't think I would be posting funny memes about overweight people while my spouse is in the ICU fighting for their life.  But it's not right to be judgmental even though I do have these thoughts.

I am hoping that since she seems to be continuing to fight, it's a good sign.  I believe fighting for your life at least gives you a little bit of a better chance.

[itsallgrand]

I'm so sorry about your cousin. Sending healing energy her way. 

[Seraphim]

Still praying for her . 

[boltnrun]

Thank you so much, all of you.  I appreciate it very much.

[boltnrun]

A different cousin is now at the hospital diagnosed with pneumonia. She just got over Covid about a month ago.

WTH is going on with my family 😥

[Seraphim]

Wow, I am sorry. 😓

[boltnrun]

My cousin in the ICU is apparently in some type of coma. Her husband has said if anyone wants to see her they should come ASAP. I'm checking with my manager to see if I can work remotely tomorrow so I can go see her right after work. 

I don't understand. She's not even 50 years old.

Everyone, please take care of your health. If your doctor gives you advice and a treatment plan and medication please follow it and take it. No one wants to lose you. 

[Seraphim]

I am so so sorry. 😓

[boltnrun]

Thank you.

I feel like I need to at least go speak to her even though she is not at all responsive or even conscious. 

I'm pissed as hell, I'm heartbroken, I'm confused, I'm worried and I'm terribly sad. 

[Seraphim]

Go and talk to her on some level she can hear you as that is the last sense to go. All the big hugs and good thoughts and prayers from me to you. 

[boltnrun]

I got up at 6:00 am to tell my manager I am taking a sick day. Then I went back to bed because I am legit not feeling well. I slept until 9:00 am which I NEVER do.  I'm drinking my morning tea then I'm getting dressed and going to the hospital. I'm just going to stay for maybe 20 minutes to assure her that if she does go on we will all rally together to make sure her child and her brother (who has Down's Syndrome) have what they need and receive lots of love. 

Honestly anxious about being in a hospital where there are surely Covid patients. But I'll spray disinfectant on the soles of my shoes before I get in my car and spray the inside of my car down when I get home. And then scrub myself in the shower. Hate to even have to think about those things.