Family and Life Updates

[boltnrun]

12 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I am so very sorry. I remember about 20 years ago I had a long commute and I had to be at work standing ready to work at 6 AM. Like you I got up at 4:30. It IS soul crushing . I am so sorry. 

Thanks.

It makes no sense given that the company reported we had our most productive four quarters while working remotely. So...they decide to make us come back into the office?

I want to see the productivity numbers for this quarter once they're calculated. Everyone is walking around looking glum. They don't seem so happy to be able to see their coworkers in person they forget about their long commutes. 

[Seraphim]

14 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Thanks.

It makes no sense given that the company reported we had our most productive four quarters while working remotely. So...they decide to make us come back into the office?

I want to see the productivity numbers for this quarter once they're calculated. Everyone is walking around looking glum. They don't seem so happy to be able to see their coworkers in person they forget about their long commutes. 

Long commute is a major issue in job dissatisfaction and leads to burn out and lack of work/life balance and really you’re still on the clock unofficially coming and going . I will concede if productivity is really good there probably isn’t an issue working from home . I know you are an honest worker, it is just some won’t be . 

[boltnrun]

25 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Long commute is a major issue in job dissatisfaction and leads to burn out and lack of work/life balance and really you’re still on the clock unofficially coming and going . I will concede if productivity is really good there probably isn’t an issue working from home . I know you are an honest worker, it is just some won’t be . 

Yeah, like I said the company reported productivity was the highest in company history in the two years prior (2021 and 2022) and other than the shop assemblers and QC we were all remote.

Also, the mandate is being selectively applied. One department manager told their employees to feel free to continue working remotely. And the woman who initially hired me said she refuses to come in more than two days a week because the commute is too long. So that's frustrating. 

[boltnrun]

Well...my depression is definitely back. I don't feel like eating (which is extremely unusual for me) and I'm just wanting to lay on the couch. I am still going for walks and I still have been going to local events and having the occasional snack at local cafes. But I haven't felt like cooking (also unusual since I love to cook). Lately dinner has been cereal or frozen waffles. 

It's this mf-ing commute. I have to go into the office the next two days and I'm miserable about it. 

[boltnrun]

Insomnia also back. Only got 3 hours sleep and have to drive into the office today. Today is really going to suck. 

[boltnrun]

I slept fantastic last night. I got about 6 3/4 hours which is phenomenal for me. I had a strange dream about someone I haven't seen in about 17 years, but I did think about her the other day so I get why. In the dream I was test driving a truck (passenger, not commercial) and the brakes weren't working properly. She was standing outside and I was yelling that the brakes didn't work. Very weird. But I'm grateful for the good sleep. 

[Seraphim]

I am glad you got a great sleep . It  helps so so much ! 

[boltnrun]

I'm bummed because my four day weekend is over in three days 😆

Most of the state is experiencing very hot temps but where I live on the southern coast it's a lot more mild.  Still a bit hot but nothing like where my brother lives, where it's forecast to be 93 degrees (33.8C).  Here it's supposed to be 78 degrees (25.56C).  I bought a new desk fan and some bungee cords so I can have my windows halfway open.  I need to have the landlord send someone to either replace the screens or reposition them as there are big gaps between the screen edge and the window frames that allow in all sorts of flying critters.

[boltnrun]

I was scheduled to have a virtual consultation with a doctor.  It's a second opinion service my insurance offers.  They sent me a gazillion reminders telling me to be on time and to have my equipment ready.  I was on time and had everything setup.  Ten minutes AFTER the scheduled start time a technician shows up and says the doctor wants to reschedule.  I basically told them to go pound sand.  Very inconsiderate and rude.

I didn't want to get up this early as I felt I needed more sleep, but I got up specifically to be on time for this appointment.  And the rude MF-er no shows.

And...now my BP is up because I'm angry. 

[boltnrun]

OK, there is zero reason to talk to me like I'm stupid. "Do you still have the instructions?" No, I deleted them just because 🙄 What's funny is SHE was the one who was wrong, not me.

That woman needs a good session in the sack because she is way too cranky and miserable. 

[boltnrun]

My brother asked to come stay with me for two nights while work is being done on his house. 😬 I suggested he ask my son because he and his spouse have a spare bedroom and a spare bathroom and a pull out couch/bed and I live in a 400 square foot studio apartment. But my brother said basically "um, no, I'm not comfortable". I mean, is he worried they'll do something intimate or affectionate in front of him? Just because they're a gay couple doesn't mean they grope one another constantly. I've never even seen them kiss! But my brother isn't comfortable staying with them. Kind of weird, but whatever. 

He will not be allowed to smoke his pot inside my apartment and he will remove his shoes before coming in, and not walk outside in his socks like he usually does (because if you walk outside in your socks they'll get dirty!)

 I'll have to get fully dressed in the bathroom and wear a stupid bra to bed so I don't jiggle in front of him. And sleep literally two feet from him. I go to bed really early and get up fairly early. He might not enjoy being woken up at 6 am on Sunday morning, but oh well!  

I of course am going to allow him to stay. It's just hard to share such a small space. 

[Seraphim]

I would just think two days two days two days . 

[boltnrun]

7 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I would just think two days two days two days . 

Circumstances changed so he's only staying one night.

Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoy spending time with my brother. He's a great guy. It's just that I live in such a small space. And since it's a studio I don't have a bedroom where I can dress, etc. I usually walk around the living room/bedroom nude or partially dressed before and after showering. That is a definite no go if someone stays over!

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Circumstances changed so he's only staying one night.

Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoy spending time with my brother. He's a great guy. It's just that I live in such a small space. And since it's a studio I don't have a bedroom where I can dress, etc. I usually walk around the living room/bedroom nude or partially dressed before and after showering. That is a definite no go if someone stays over!

I hear you. Small places are hard especially when they are for one person and you are used to freedom of your space . 
 

You wear no shoes in the house , most Canadians don’t wear shoes in the house. That is very common here. 

[boltnrun]

The other thing is I have to work in the office tomorrow. On office days I don't make my bed like I normally do and my apartment tends to reflect how I feel about my long commute. Which is chaotic and anxiety producing, and I get home in a vile mood. The last thing I want to have to do is rush to shower and then have to make my bed, put away the clothes I'd decided not to wear and get a towel, washcloth, a blanket, etc. ready, wash the mug from my morning tea, fill my water pitcher and somehow find time to feed myself dinner. Uh uh, nope. So thankfully he will be arriving Saturday afternoon instead.

I just hope he doesn't text me tomorrow afternoon saying he decided to stay with me after all. He does have a tendency to change his mind at the last minute. 

[boltnrun]

And, insomnia is back. I have to get up for work in three hours and I have slept a grand total of 30 minutes.

[boltnrun]

Got a total of two hours of sleep. Driving on the freeway for 2 1/4 hours is going to be just awesome. 

[boltnrun]

2 1/2 more hours. 

I would cut out and finish the day at home but my manager's manager is here and she certainly knows I'm supposed to work in the office all day today. And I'm taking a half day off next week so I don't want to bugger out early today.

Oh, and I've been here for six hours and I've peed five times. Pooped twice (sorry, TMI). I'm spending half the day eliminating my bodily waste.

[boltnrun]

So many bathroom visits needed today! I feel like I spent half the day in the bathroom.

I'm about to change doctors and maybe the new doctor can run some tests to figure out why I pee a dozen or more times a day. 

[boltnrun]

I slept close to 7 1/2 hours.  I feel so much better today.

Brother is arriving late this afternoon to stay over.  That's a relief because I can do my thing and still have time to clean a bit before he gets here.  My apartment is never dirty but I always like it to be sparkling.  Especially if someone is visiting.

[boltnrun]

OMG

It's a good thing this was a one time thing.  Because everything I asked for to accommodate my wishes to keep my home free of dirt and grime was basically disregarded.  Even after I asked to please, please not do that, it was done again just hours later with the excuse being "Oh, I didn't know you didn't want me to do X".  Um, I just told you a few hours ago and you "don't remember"?

It's going to take a long time and a lot of effort to get the dirt and grime out of my home.  Plus I slept lousy because I'm not used to hearing someone in the room with me.  And I was badly triggered (not going to get into why, but apparently I have some deep-seated lingering trauma that I'll need to address).

Other than that, it was a nice time with family.  I do treasure that dearly.  

[boltnrun]

So nice to have my home to myself again.

The only ones I've ever been able to live with were my husband and my children. Everyone else felt like I was an unwelcome squatter even though I paid rent or there are too many differences in how we choose to keep our homes (mainly having to do with cleanliness, neatness and general appearance). I feel such a great sense of relief that I'm alone again!

Sorry, family members.

[boltnrun]

Moral dilemma! Well, not really but sorta?

My friend gave me an e-gift card for my birthday to a store that I deliberately stopped shopping at on moral grounds. I haven't made a purchase there since just after the new year and I used to shop there a few times a month. But I know I have to use the gift card or her money would have been wasted. Just the idea of walking in there makes me feel icky. I could order online but that would mean paying shipping charges. Ugh. 

[boltnrun]

I used the gift card and had the items shipped to my home. It's the same thing, I know, but the idea of actually walking into the store and seeing what they did recently would have put me off big time. 

[boltnrun]

I just took a fall at home. I was reaching from just outside my back door into the kitchen to grab my laundry basket, lost my balance and because I will NOT step inside my home with shoes on I went down instead. Not hard, didn't hit my head or any limbs or joints. But I've been feeling dizzy ever since. 

Not going to call 911. I'm obviously well enough to type on my phone and I've been completing work tasks. Plus, who wants to go to a hospital unless it's absolutely necessary?

One thing that bugs me is I texted my brother to tell him and his response was along the lines of "yawn, I fall too and I don't broadcast it". OK, thanks for your concern? I live alone. He doesn't. I have chronic medical conditions. He doesn't. But I shouldn't "broadcast" that I fell. Alrighty then. 

My left knee and ankle are a bit sore. Probably going to be sore tomorrow.