Family and Life Updates

[boltnrun]

I had to go into the office today. And since insomnia has been back I took a Trazadone so I would sleep. AND, I've been terribly drowsy all day as a result. I had soup for lunch, my tummy is warm and it's just making me drowsier!

I met a coworker today and he put his hand out to shake. I did even though I prefer not to. Then I went into the bathroom to scrub the heck outta my hands!

[boltnrun]

We have been called back to work in the office three days a week. Starting May 1st. I'm legit not scared anymore but I'm chagrined because I need to buy some clothes that aren't joggers, leggings, shorts, t-shirts and sweatshirt jackets! And I'm going to go from spending about $40 per month on gas to about $150. My electric bill should go down a bit so there's that. It will also be more difficult to do laundry. My neighbor also works from home on Mondays and Fridays so I'll be fighting him for the ONE washer and ONE dryer my apartment complex has. 

I email my former psychologist. I hadn't heard anything from her since our last appointment in November. I figured she'd "fired" me as a patient. Well, she claims she doesn't remember how we left it (she had said she would email me after the holidays to schedule our next appointment, she never did). So we scheduled an appointment for next week. I'm not sure if I buy her excuse. It's important to trust your psychologist. But she knows my history so I want to see her one or two more times. 

[boltnrun]

I'm disappointed in my niece. I offered to buy the makings for Easter dinner and go to my brother's house to cook for him and his kids. I even made sure to make a vegan dish and buy a vegan dessert for my niece. My brother and I cooked for about 4 hours. My nephew and his girlfriend came over and cooked for another hour and a half. This entire time my niece was lying on the couch with her earbuds in, playing on her phone. Then during dinner she played on her phone at the table. After dinner she went back to the couch while everyone else cleared the table, put away leftovers and cleaned up. My brother had to leave for work this morning but he asked me if I would wash some dishes before I left this morning. My niece wasn't asked to clean up 🤔 My brother's kids have all been estranged from him at one point or another so I guess he's worried about it happening again? Just really confused about why everyone else willingly cooked and cleaned up but not her. And to be on your phone at the dinner table? It's not something I would have done. 

Holidays are getting weirder these days. Maybe I'll just step back from doing so much. I might be trying too hard. 

[boltnrun]

It's frustrating seeing how many people perpetuate stereotypes with regard to gays. No, not all gay men "twirl" or wear makeup or dress in women's clothing or are obsessed with design and fashion. And they're not attracted to and trying to have sex with every single man they encounter, just like heterosexual men aren't attracted to every single woman they meet. And most of them are not pedos or "groomers". So offensive. 

[boltnrun]

My apartment was completely filthy, at least by my standards! I wasn't home to clean last weekend. So I spent all day cleaning and cleaning! I'm almost done. Bathroom clean, main room clean, office/eat in kitchen clean. All that's left is cleaning the stove, kitchen counters and then mopping the kitchen floor. 

I had to hold off on walking today. I walked the past three days straight and did three miles yesterday and I woke up this morning with the arthritis in my legs and feet just screaming. It's a shame because it's lovely outside. But I'm getting exercise by cleaning!

[boltnrun]

I was grocery shopping yesterday and as per usual I had a mask on. I suddenly felt like I was going to sneeze. Thankfully I had the mask! I would have felt bad sneezing in the store without something covering my face. One of the store employees was coughing but he also had a mask on. I really appreciate it when people are considerate enough to protect others by masking when they're going to be around groups of people for an extended period of time. I don't view being considerate of others as "annoying" or "inconvenient". It's my civic duty. 

The grocery store is pretty much the only place I mask unless a shop specifically requests one. I always have one with me in case I need it. 

[boltnrun]

Someone unexpectedly knocked on my door the other day. You know what I DIDN'T do???

So much pointless tragedy.

[boltnrun]

Happy 4/20!

I don't smoke pot but many people I know do. I have smoked in the past but it made me stupid. All I could do was sit there going "derrrrrrr duhhhhh" or I'd get the giggles. I don't like it. But many people do! So I hope they have fun on their special day lol.

[boltnrun]

I went way, way out of my comfort zone today.  Although when I got home for good and I "had" to wipe down a gazillion objects I was wondering if it was really worth it.  I am dreaming of the day when I don't feel like I "have" to wipe everything down and shower as soon as I get home.  At least I stopped wiping my groceries down about 18 months ago.  That was stupid.

[boltnrun]

And my reward for going out of my comfort zone was horrible, awful insomnia.  I was fully awake until 4:00 AM and only managed to piece together about 2 1/2 hours of sleep.  Thankfully it's not a work day but I certainly am not going to try to go grocery shopping today.  That will wait until tomorrow after work.

And I will definitely be taking a trazadone before bed tonight.  I cannot be like this tomorrow.

[boltnrun]

My manager notified me that I won't have to be going into the office three days a week after all. Although he said it wasn't required, I volunteered to go in one day a week. That's not bad at all and it would give me some in person interaction with my coworkers who are there. 

I admit, I'm grateful. I would have done whatever was required but I much prefer working remotely. 

[boltnrun]

What politicians say during debates, interviews and campaign rallies and what they actually do once in office are often very, very different.

It always puzzles me when some people don't seem to realize this. 

[boltnrun]

I've diligently been cutting back on how much I eat. I stopped having dessert after every meal and stopped eating things like ice cream and frosted cakes. I have been making healthier food choices. I eat more vegetables and am not eating things like hot dogs or fried chicken. I'm talking longer walks and walking more frequently. And what is the result of all this effort? I GAINED a pound.

No, it's not "muscle weighs more than fat!" because I haven't done any muscle building exercise. My only exercise is walking. 

I'm starting to feel like giving up. I weigh exactly the same  when I eat crap and have ice cream or frosted cake after every meal (except breakfast lol). The only time I lost weight was when my anxiety was out of control and I surely don't want to go back to that. So I'll keep walking because I enjoy that and I won't eat garbage at mealtime because I want to feel healthy but I'm not going to forego ice cream for dessert if I want it. There's no point when my weight stays exactly the same whether I eat ice cream or cake or I don't. 

[boltnrun]

My company is being mean.

I love my job. I do. But a few days ago they said we wouldn't have to go into the office three days a week. And... yesterday they said Just Kidding! You DO have to work in the office three days a week! And when I asked why I got a "Gee, I just don't know!" I think someone who does have to come in every day complained. And now we all have to waste time driving into the office to do the exact same things we all were doing at home. We even got an email telling us our productivity was the best it's ever been. But nope, let's have everyone come in and be exhausted from commuting and lower their productivity.

I love my job too much to quit over this. But I'm deeply disappointed. 

[boltnrun]

I have what I call "old lady bladder".  I have to make an about 5.5 hour drive today.  I've done this drive a zillion times.  I'll stop drinking anything an hour before I leave.  I'll pee twice and then once more right before I leave.  And without fail, 20 minutes after I get on the freeway my bladder will start SCREAMING "I gotta PEEEEE!!!"  I can't even imagine what's left in my bladder.  But if I do stop I'll pee what seems like a gallon.  Where did this water come from???  And I don't drink anything during the drive because then I'll have to find somewhere to pee and I refuse to use gas station bathrooms.

Ten years ago I could make this drive without having to pee once.

[Seraphim]

I am right there with you. I swear my bladder holds half an ounce and wants to pee a million times a day. 

[boltnrun]

I'm going to my former city (300 miles away) to visit friends.  Most of my good friends live there.  The people I had been friends with in my home state are all out of my life as they are either connected with my toxic ex or they're involved in something that I no longer have interest in.  Or they moved away.

Anyway...I'm meeting a friend and her daughter for dinner tonight.  Last time we had a meal together at a restaurant her daughter threw a spoon at me, put her feet (in her dirty shoes) on the table, got under the table repeatedly and threw a couple of tantrums. So this meal should be interesting 😆

I'm also meeting some dear friends who have been exceptionally kind to me.  The wife even came with me when I moved back to my home state during the worst of the pandemic.  I will be forever grateful to her for doing that.  They're wonderful people.

Anyway, I'm off!  I've made this drive many times and used to feel totally invincible.  But one time I had a high speed tire blowout while driving down a 7% grade.  Ever since then I've been nervous.  But, I do it anyway!

[boltnrun]

Trip there and back were totally uneventful which is perfect.  I made great time and my car ran like a top 🙂 .  The weather was perfect except for strong winds.  The city's soccer team didn't win 😞 But we still had fun.

I had kind of forgotten how pretty my old neighborhoods were.  There's been some new developments too.  My old neighborhoods are almost all newer construction and very well maintained.  I did feel some nostalgia.  But my family is here and I don't want to be out there by myself again.

When I got back to my city I took myself out to brunch.  It's kind of funny that out of all the meals I had over the past couple of days, a $47 sushi dinner on Saturday and a $67 Italian dinner last night, the $20 brunch I had today was the best food.  I don't mind spending good money if the meal is worth it.  The other two meals weren't BAD, but this brunch was perfection.

I also have tomorrow off so I'm taking care of a couple of appointments and going grocery shopping.

It's good to be home 🙂 

[boltnrun]

People keep giving me tasks to do and I get all the way through and complete them and then they realize they gave me the wrong documents. So then I have to delete what I did and do it all over again.

I don't know why I thought people with college degrees in specialized fields are much more intelligent than those without. I keep finding so many mistakes and things they overlook and I'm just a clerk. 

[Seraphim]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

People keep giving me tasks to do and I get all the way through and complete them and then they realize they gave me the wrong documents. So then I have to delete what I did and do it all over again.

I don't know why I thought people with college degrees in specialized fields are much more intelligent than those without. I keep finding so many mistakes and things they overlook and I'm just a clerk. 

It is so annoying for incredibly precise people like you and I. It makes me want to bang my head. 

[boltnrun]

2 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

It is so annoying for incredibly precise people like you and I. It makes me want to bang my head. 

Problem is, the industry I work in cannot have mistakes. Literally lives are at risk. And these people bumble around sending the wrong documents and making all sorts of other mistakes. It shouldn't be the clerk who finds these mistakes. Someone with a zillion letters after their name should notice these mistakes and fix them before they get to me.

[Seraphim]

11 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Problem is, the industry I work in cannot have mistakes. Literally lives are at risk. And these people bumble around sending the wrong documents and making all sorts of other mistakes. It shouldn't be the clerk who finds these mistakes. Someone with a zillion letters after their name should notice these mistakes and fix them before they get to me.

Oh I hear you. 

[boltnrun]

I love my friend dearly. I truly do. He's a wonderful person who would happily give you the last dollar in his pocket if you needed it. Wouldn't hurt a fly. But he absolutely CANNOT remember anything I tell him. He's asked me at least a dozen times if my apartment has AC. It doesn't. He's asked me sometimes two days in a row! He completely forgot we had daily text conversations about me moving back to my home state for over two months. We talked about the move, how it went and who helped me move, how I liked my new apartment, etc. About three weeks later he asked me if I'd found out yet if I would be moving! He'd forgotten an entire two month's worth of discussions! When I said "Um, I moved three weeks ago" he said "OMG! That's so exciting, when did you find out you were moving? Did you find an apartment yet?" 😕

I don't expect that everyone should remember every detail about my life. But when we've discussed something multiple times I do expect my friend to remember. 

Deep sigh...

[boltnrun]

Plumber came today to fix my kitchen sink that was draining very slowly and backing up. I told my brother I wanted to propose marriage to the plumber. He wore gloves, was very polite, didn't leave a big dirty mess (unlike every other plumber I've had in) and was done in less than ten minutes. Oh, and he obviously cleaned his work boots off before he came inside because he didn't leave one speck of dirt on my floor. I still cleaned after he left, but you really couldn't tell he'd ever been here other than the sink is now fixed. At my previous apartments I had to spend over an hour cleaning the clumps of grease and filth off my floor, counters, sink and tub. Not this guy!

[boltnrun]

Two big events in my city today (well, more than two but I attended two of them).  Walked over five miles which for someone who has arthritis (suspected RA), five miles is a lot.  I intended to only do about 3 1/2 but there was a young lady selling shirts and I really wanted to buy one.  But I have a very bad tendency to forget where things are.  I could have sworn her table was setup near the beginning of where the event was so I walked all the way back, then realized she wasn't there.  So I turned around and walked almost the entire way back and then realized some higher being just didn't want me to buy a shirt from her for some reason.  So I gave up and walked back toward home.  Very disappointed I didn't get the shirt I wanted.  Hopefully she'll be at another event soon.  Or I'll Google the slogan on her shirt and hope I find a website. (I just Googled and no luck 😞 )

I bought a chicken empanada with chili sauce from a sidewalk vendor.  OMG, it was absolutely delicious!  I kind of wish I'd bought more but I am trying to lose weight.

TONS of people at these two events.  A serious crowd.  I would have been supremely anxious and frightened normally, and I would have rushed home and jumped immediately into the shower, but I didn't.  I have a weird thing about not wanting to sit down on my furniture in clothes I've worn out in public, but right now I'm sitting in my office chair worried only about possibly getting sweat on the chair back because I'm sweating a bit from the walk.  I don't know, maybe I'm just giving up on trying not to get exposed to Covid and am just going with it.  I'm tired of being afraid and anxious and doing stupid, probably totally ineffective things to try to keep the virus out of my home.