How to seduce an older(and kinda popular) man?

[Tanzi]

Duplicate post. 
 

[wealthydior]

I have so many interests no worries on that. It sounded too much but I only go to those bars once a month. From august till now like in total I went to the bars 9 times. I’m seeing on his stories there are girls going there every week or even couple of times in a week. So mine is too normal for them trust me.

I already know that he doesn’t like me romantically. What I’m asking is how can I change that slowly. If I get rejected one time I can’t do the chasing anymore. I want stunning words or actions idk. You know sometimes someone whom you don’t see romantically says or does someting striking then you start seeing them romantically or maybe start thinking of them. It happened to me so many times.

Like I had relationships started just with an reaction on stories and I wasn’t thinking anything romantic with that person.

What I’m saying is doing what I’m doing so far worked actually he didn’t know who I was now he is almost a friend we got closer he sits with us we even sat alone together so I think I accomplished somethings here.

[Tanzi]

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

I know that he is casually hooking up girls my age. But as I said I don't want just hooking up or be ***buddies whatever.

Then this is not the guy for you. 

[Tanzi]

5 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

I already know that he doesn’t like me romantically. What I’m asking is how can I change that slowly. If I get rejected one time I can’t do the chasing anymore. I want stunning words or actions idk. You know sometimes someone whom you don’t see romantically says or does someting striking then you start seeing them romantically or maybe start thinking of them. It happened to me so many times.

I wish there was answer for this. It would heal so many broken or lost hearts. What you are asking for is a magic spell. All you can do is be YOU. You don’t have to do anything extraordinary. If it’s worked before then it will work again … with the right guy … whoever that may be. 

[Batya33]

34 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

You know sometimes someone whom you don’t see romantically says or does someting striking then you start seeing them romantically or maybe start thinking of them. It happened to me so many times.

Yes but if that is the basis from no interest to you saying or doing just the right thing which sparks interest, that interest may possibly get you a quick hookup but given who he is and how many adoring fans he has that look and act a lot like you it's highly unlikely he'll pick you to focus on.

[Jibralta]

26 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

What I’m asking is how can I change that slowly. If I get rejected one time I can’t do the chasing anymore. I want stunning words or actions idk. You know sometimes someone whom you don’t see romantically says or does someting striking then you start seeing them romantically or maybe start thinking of them. It happened to me so many times.

When you say you want him to "like you romantically," I get the impression that you want him to see you as relationship material. The problem with that is his behavior demonstrates that he doesn't want a relationship. Some people are like that. It's got nothing to do with you or anyone else. So, it doesn't matter what you do or say, it doesn't matter who you are, how special you are, you're not going to change him. 

30 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

What I’m saying is doing what I’m doing so far worked actually he didn’t know who I was now he is almost a friend we got closer he sits with us we even sat alone together so I think I accomplished somethings here.

You're definitely on his radar, but that just means you're on his radar. Lots of girls are on his radar.

[Tinydance]

35 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

I have so many interests no worries on that. It sounded too much but I only go to those bars once a month. From august till now like in total I went to the bars 9 times. I’m seeing on his stories there are girls going there every week or even couple of times in a week. So mine is too normal for them trust me.

I already know that he doesn’t like me romantically. What I’m asking is how can I change that slowly. If I get rejected one time I can’t do the chasing anymore. I want stunning words or actions idk. You know sometimes someone whom you don’t see romantically says or does someting striking then you start seeing them romantically or maybe start thinking of them. It happened to me so many times.

Like I had relationships started just with an reaction on stories and I wasn’t thinking anything romantic with that person.

What I’m saying is doing what I’m doing so far worked actually he didn’t know who I was now he is almost a friend we got closer he sits with us we even sat alone together so I think I accomplished somethings here.

I think you can't really change it as such, someone developing feelings is just a natural process. You can continue getting to know him better, developing that friendship as you say, and see what happens...

The thing is that when you really like someone, it's not like they're saying or doing anything amazing, but you just *think* they're doing it. You know, like their smile, laugh, their jokes. Everything seems cute. But if someone isn't interested then even if somebody is funny, smart, etc. I don't think it's really going to help. I think we can't always explain why we're into someone or not. That's why it's called chemistry or a spark.

I think for starters you probably need more one-on-one time with this guy. I think maybe you'll have to actually ask him out. It doesn't really sound like you have much opportunity to talk at the concerts or the cafe because he's busy. You've been crushing on this guy for like 6 + months. Don't you think it's time you did something about it? Lol

[Andrina]

Can I ask what the ideal relationship for you would look like, i.e., how many times would you get together during the week? What activities do you like to engage in with a bf (besides spending the night)? How often do you like to communicate with a bf? Do you want a relationship to lead to marriage and kids or not? What worked for you in past relationships and what didn't? Why did your past relationships end? How long did they last?

[wealthydior]

Guys I don’t wanna tell lies. I just wanna feel alive. My last relationship lasted a year and it just ended in August. After two days I met this guy. I ended my last relationship because he was too boring. What I want is someone whom I can chase. That is my problem.

When I see this guy I feel alive. He may be old but his energy is unique. I can’t even express it but I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I can get him. But again I don’t wanna hook up. And I don’t want a ons but I don’t really want a “so” serious relationship either.

[Jibralta]

So, have an adventure. Have fun. 

[Tanzi]

Well that's a bit of a conundrum .... you want a guy you can chase but once you've got him, you will no longer need to chase him .... so, what then?

At the end of the day this guy is living the rock star life style and is happy hooking up with girls so not only is it going to be hard to get his attention amongst all the other girls/groupies throwing themselves at him but it's going to be even harder to lock him into something more than a hook up or ONS.

He's noticed you, he knows who you are, he is friendly towards you .... there isn't anything more you can do.  He most likely knows that you are into him so if he wanted to take it further, he would already.

[Batya33]

If chasing someone and winning your "prize" makes you feel "alive" then go for it.  But that alive feeling is most often not the basis for any healthful ongoing relationship.  Might be a good idea to find healthy pursuits that energize you.

[Blue_Skirt]

You have received all the input you need, but you wish to ignore it. So go for the adventure of chasing him, but then also live with the consequences.

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, wealthydior said:

My last relationship lasted a year and it just ended in August. I ended my last relationship because he was too boring.

If you "want to feel alive", get involved in groups, clubs, sports and fitness. Broaden your horizons.

Volunteer, get a second job. Learn about finances. Take classes and courses. Learn to play an instrument. Become an interesting person.

Develop some interests in real life other than aspiring to be a groupie rather than a fan. That's so passive, like watching TV. Boooooring 🥱

 

[Rose Mosse]

16 hours ago, wealthydior said:

Guys I don’t wanna tell lies. I just wanna feel alive. My last relationship lasted a year and it just ended in August. After two days I met this guy. I ended my last relationship because he was too boring. What I want is someone whom I can chase. That is my problem.

When I see this guy I feel alive. He may be old but his energy is unique. I can’t even express it but I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I can get him. But again I don’t wanna hook up. And I don’t want a ons but I don’t really want a “so” serious relationship either.

You’re very honest with yourself so keep chatting with him. Your last relationship ended in August which puts it only six months ago. It’s ok to have such a crush like this and not want anything so serious. 

As Jibralta says, have fun with it. Nothing serious here and don’t frustrate yourself with whether it goes anywhere. I think you’re still recovering from your break up and looking for validation from a man who seems hard to get. It’s an ego thing, not about anything substantial or long lasting. 

I’d treat it as a crush. Flirt with him and chat when you’re there and date other guys too. 

[Andrina]

16 hours ago, wealthydior said:

But again I don’t wanna hook up. And I don’t want a ons but I don’t really want a “so” serious relationship either.

Nothing wrong with not wanting a "so" serious relationship, but the issue is that the parameters of that are very loosey-goosey. What does that term mean to you? That the relationship will likely have an expiration date of 4 months? Or is there no end date but you're both allowed to boink others? Or are you not allowed to boink others but you never want to move in together nor marry? Can you go weeks without contact and that's okay or do you expect daily communication?

And then with whatever it is that you're seeking, will the guy be on the exact same page for each of those elements? A tall order. 

 

[boltnrun]

Sounds like an episode of The Bachelor, where you and dozens of other young women compete for the attention of some dude.  And he gets to sample the goods and then choose which one he will grace with his time and attention.  Except in this guy's case, you would be one of many he's having sex with.  He wouldn't be choosing just one.

Maybe apply to be on The Bachelor, since you love competition and "the chase".

[Tanzi]

7 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

As Jibralta says, have fun with it. Nothing serious here and don’t frustrate yourself with whether it goes anywhere. 

The trouble is, although OP said she doesn’t want anything “so serious”, she also said she wanted a real relationship with him … and, well, this guy doesn’t seem as though he wants a real relationship at this stage in his life. To be honest, it sounds as though he’s making the most of being single and adored by so many. If she were just looking for a hook up then I’d be inclined to agree with you but I actually do believe she has a fairy tale romance in mind. 

[wealthydior]

I have received almost nothing from you guys. Come on like all you said were either ask him on a date or give him up. Don’t you know anything about flirting game? I just wanted you guys to gave me an examples of the striking sentences, phrases, actions that I could use towards him. For me this is a game and he will be my victim. I chose him because I like him.

I will give my fight to the end. You can slowly impress someone. Like I think my crush has no idea that he was seeing me in August and not talking to me. He probably has no idea how we got closer. We just got closer thanks to me. Anyone who rushes always crushes.

About that fairy tale romance you could say that yes because I wouldn’t say no to being “rockstar’s girlfriend.”

[boltnrun]

19 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

Don’t you know anything about flirting game? I just wanted you guys to gave me an examples of the striking sentences, phrases, actions that I could use towards him. For me this is a game and he will be my victim.

Sure, you could flirt and get him to hook up with you.  That's easy.  But how are you expecting him to give up all of the other young chippies he has access to and focus solely on you?  That's the tricky part.  Also LOL at wanting him to be your "victim".  He's the one with all the leverage in this situation, not you.

20 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

About that fairy tale romance you could say that yes because I wouldn’t say no to being “rockstar’s girlfriend.”

But does he want that? 

And is he a true rockstar?  Would any of us recognize his name or the name of his band?

I dated someone (and married him) who used to be in a very well known band.  In fact, this band is famous for a huge music festival they put on each year.  I met him after he'd left the band (he'd left it a few months prior).  And every one of the other band members had trouble maintaining relationships.  The only ones with successful relationships were the ones who left the band.  The rest were either completely single or had a bunch of casual hookups. It's not all glamour and fun.  You have to be completely fine with knowing there will be other women throwing themselves at him.  Also be OK with it if he says he won't be faithful to you.

Yes, you've created a fantasy inside your head.  Like many, many young women do. Reality seldom matches fantasy.

[Blue_Skirt]

25 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

For me this is a game and he will be my victim.

Wow, what a "wonderful" human being you are.

You don't always get the answers you want to hear in life.

[Jibralta]

30 minutes ago, wealthydior said:

Don’t you know anything about flirting game? I just wanted you guys to gave me an examples of the striking sentences, phrases, actions that I could use towards him. For me this is a game and he will be my victim.

He's not a robot. There's no secret code or phrase. You have to be a live act to be a successful flirt. You gotta be able to read the room, so to speak.

[Tanzi]

1 hour ago, wealthydior said:

I have received almost nothing from you guys. Come on like all you said were either ask him on a date or give him up. Don’t you know anything about flirting game? I just wanted you guys to gave me an examples of the striking sentences, phrases, actions that I could use towards him. For me this is a game and he will be my victim. I chose him because I like him.

I will give my fight to the end. You can slowly impress someone. Like I think my crush has no idea that he was seeing me in August and not talking to me. He probably has no idea how we got closer. We just got closer thanks to me. Anyone who rushes always crushes.

About that fairy tale romance you could say that yes because I wouldn’t say no to being “rockstar’s girlfriend.”

That’s because you’re playing a kids game. This is the real world honey, not Camp Rock.

Seriously though, what can we say that you haven’t already thought of? Do you think we all have some jiggery pokery up out sleeves where we can just pull out a magic trick and get someone to fall in love with us.

Honestly, there really isn’t anything you can do other than get him to notice YOU … and it will be YOU he falls for, not your fluttering eyelashes or damsel in distress act or your pheromone spray or your rhetoric of poetry.

You are lost in a pure fantasy. If it were that easy then don’t you think we would all be doing that to our “victims”.  

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, wealthydior said:

I have received almost nothing from you guys. Come on like all you said were either ask him on a date or give him up. Don’t you know anything about flirting game?

Not the kind of games you're suggesting.  It's not ok to treat another person that way. I was very good at flirting and I did so to show genuine interest in a person I wanted to get to know. Yes, I hooked up some many years ago but never where the person was my victim or thought of him that way -just two people at a party or a resort wanting to dance, kiss some, for one night maybe two - both into it, no ridiculous ensnaring you're referring to.  

What you're suggesting isn't a flirting game -you have some notion that there are things you can say or do to get someone to want to have sex with you and then also want to date you.  Certainly you don't need advice on how to try to get him to have sex with you.  If he's horny and thinks you're cute and you're throwing yourself at him, and he is a person who has one night stands or casual sex he might choose you.  

Leave what you're thinking to a fantasy and ask yourself why it feels so compelling and desirable to want this person to be your "victim" you seduce.  What's missing in your life that you actually would wish to treat a person this way?

[MissCanuck]

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

Don’t you know anything about flirting game?

Yes, and we're trying to help you because you clearly don't: 

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

For me this is a game and he will be my victim.

Girl. You are you going to embarrass yourself with this seductress fantasy you have going on in your head. 

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

I just wanted you guys to gave me an examples of the striking sentences, phrases, actions that I could use towards him.

None of that works when the dude isn't into you. And this one isn't, or he'd have you hit you up on IG or in person by now. 

11 hours ago, wealthydior said:

He probably has no idea how we got closer. We just got closer thanks to me.

Kindly, this is the sort of narrative stalkers have running through their minds. Don't go down this slippery slope. Maybe speak to a trusted friend or family member who can offer you some guidance, because this is going to become unhealthy quickly if you don't get some real support soon.