Guy won't stop texting me. Becoming a pest.

[brtex]

Hi all,

I used to be a streamer and got quite a decent following and there was a guy who would come to my streams a lot and was a supporter, though he did seem to have some behavior that seemed a bit as though he wasn't the best with social interactions and didn't seem very socially aware.

I have stopped streaming now but this guy is on two of my social media platforms. He lives in a different country and doesn't know my full name and I think he is harmless, but he won't stop reaching out. We have never video chatted but he has called me quite a few times over instagram via video call and keeps saying "let me know if you want to catch up", or "we should do a video call." I didn't mind chatting to him in a completely platonic way, but I noticed that when I did this before, the more I replied the more he would ramp up his messaging, so I really backed off hoping he would get the message that I didn't want to speak all the time. Also I never responded to his requests of saying we should do a video call or asking if I wanted to do one, so I really thought he would take the hint.

Lately, he reaches out multiple times a day and when I don't respond he sends another. I haven't been very responsive at all and I really don't want to be mean as he has been a supporter of mine, but it is getting way too much and I just feel like he is becoming a real pest and I am not sure how to politely say can you tone it down a bit.  He even told me he is in love with someone and I think that is legit because I have seen a photo of them on his instagram so I don't think it is a lie, but at the same time, if this is the case I don't know why he would even be trying to video call me or reaching out as much as he does.

Does anyone have any advice on how to politely let him down or tell him the contact is becoming too much? I don't want to block as I think that is way too harsh, especially with the past support. He wasn't this bad at the start but it has gotten worse over time. Even when I told him I am seeing somebody he just said "glad to hear, let me know if you want to video some time."

I am at a loss with what to do here.

[DancingFool]

Thanks for asking, I don't do video chats.

When you don't establish boundaries early on, these kinds of things can snowball like this. So be sure that next time he suggests it, just speak up and be clear. That goes for anyone contacting you - assert boundaries immediately.

[Wiseman2]

32 minutes ago, brtex said:

he reaches out multiple times a day and when I don't respond he sends another.

You need to delete and block him if he's becoming a pest or stalker.

You need to focus on real-life friends, family and your BF.

You are flattered by attention, but almost cheating on your BF with this cyberaffair. Stop.

[melancholy123]

Block and delete him.

[Capricorn3]

I agree with all the posts above.  As long as you keep responding to this guy he won't go away.

Don't want this pest around?  Stop responding. NC.  End of.

[brtex]

I'm not responding. He is seeing me read them and won't stop reaching out.

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[Capricorn3]

Just now, brtex said:

I'm not responding. He is seeing me read them and won't stop reaching out.

Um, ...... that's why blocking and deleting will work. You won't read them anymore.

[DancingFool]

5 minutes ago, brtex said:

I'm not responding. He is seeing me read them and won't stop reaching out.

 

Look, reading and not responding or responding only intermittently will get you exactly the kind of behavior you are getting. Just tell him "thanks, I don't do that." You are making this way more difficult than it needs to be and you are actually being rude because you are stringing him along.

Sure MOST people would get the hint and quit. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are pretty dense and will keep asking and interpret your intermittent responses as interest and that maybe you are just busy when you ignore them. They are OK with that. Besides, you trained him that if he persists, you'll respond eventually.

Stop it and just tell him "no, I don't do video chats." You will have to be direct with him in a hammer to nail kind of manner. 

[Kwothe28]

She cant block him, he is(or was) her Twitch sub. Streamers and their simps, ups, I mean donors, work on the principle where they literally pay you money to "support" you and chat with you. So no matter how creepy donor is, lots of them oblige because, well, they pay them good money. So you dont want to "upset" potential donor. Both sides are very codependent on one another.

OP, if you dont stream anymore just block him. You dont need to be polite with him anymore and he wont take a hint. Its not that big of the deal.

[melancholy123]

3 hours ago, brtex said:

I'm not responding. He is seeing me read them and won't stop reaching out.

 

Stop reading them!  Block and delete then there is nothing to read.

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

OP, if you dont stream anymore just block him. You dont need to be polite with him anymore and he wont take a hint. Its not that big of the deal.

Agree with this. 

Not responding isn't working, OP. He isn't thinking about your feelings or respecting your obvious desire not to interact with him, so you don't need to be too gentle here. 

[Tinydance]

Well, my first question is, when you say this guy is a supporter of yours, do you mean financially? Has he paid to subscribe to you? Do you do streaming to make money? Or your primary reason to stream is for fun? If this guy never spent any money on you then you owe him literally zero. Just because he liked your streaming doesn't mean you have to date him, be his friend or even so much as speak to him. Sure, maybe he hasn't done anything that bad as such, but talking to someone online is voluntary and a choice. If you don't enjoy talking to him and he creeps you out, that is absolutely fine to block him on everything.

Secondly, if you are talking about a streaming platform like Twitch for example, Twitch is not prostitution. Just because someone is your paid subscriber doesn't mean that you owe them to date them or like them. Sure, you can chat to them here and there but you deserve to be respected and not smothered to death.

This guy is completely bombarding you. Continuing to message when you don't even reply is harassment. I think you're within your right just to block him. If you don't want to do that just never respond at all. At some point he's bound to stop messaging you because he'll be getting no result. Another thing you could do is just say to him that you're quite busy, you're dating someone and you don't really have time to chat.

[smackie9]

Just tell him your fiance is getting upset with all those messages. It worked for me.

[boltnrun]

Is he still "supporting" you?

Just because he chose to subscribe to your stream or donate to your Patreon or PayPal account doesn't mean you owe him anything. He chose to send you money. That's how these things work.