Waiting for a girl to ask me out.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, That36guy said:

You tell this story every time you comment on my stuff. I don’t care.

I love repeating myself and am fairly certain that wasn't a repeat BUT I bet you anything someone else posted something very similar -wanna know why? Because I bet we've all asked someone out and been told no. It is repetitive because people are going to repeat and share similar stories if you don't continue to beat the whole woe is me I'm to scared to ask a woman for a date drum.  I agree you don't care enough about dating or meeting someone. If you did you would take appropriate actions and not have a neverending pity party, make lame excuses and be rude to those trying to offer advice and encouragement.

[waffle]

2 hours ago, That36guy said:

You tell this story every time you comment on my stuff. I don’t care.

Rude.

(for the record, I've never heard/read that story)

[boltnrun]

So in conclusion...you are not the slightest bit interested in dating or having a girlfriend.  You wish to do zero to make that happen, so that is the result you will get; zero dates and no girlfriend. You will continue to be free to spend your weekends standing in line with your friends to buy Pokemon cards and sitting on your couch watching movies and eating pizza by yourself. No worries if that is what you want!

I do find it interesting that you were confident enough to message that other girl to call her names and insult her but you're too scared to message a girl to ask for a date.

I'm wondering what the subject of your next thread will be. Maybe that you finally realized the only way to date and get a girlfriend is to actually ask for one?

[Batya33]

On reflection I changed my mind.  Based on how you express yourself here I don’t think you should ask her out on a date.  I mean that not snarkily.  Dating as the late Doctor Joy Browne described it requires higher level social skills than hanging with a friend or acquaintance.  Maybe you sense you’re just not there yet and you’re throwing up all these irrational roadblocks.

 It’s not an age thing but an emotional intelligence/maturity thing.  It’s not about disagree with advice either. It’s the way you choose to disagree.  I can’t see most typical women having a pleasant time conversing with you especially for a couple of hours.  even if they find you attractive looking.  You need to be able to interact in an engaging and even charming way that makes the woman feel comfortable in her own skin.  I don’t think you’re there quite yet.  Hopefully in the future.  Best of luck. 

[Capricorn3]

OP, seeing as none of us are having any success in helping you in any way, Admin has been putting up some videos/blogs about dating, first date nerves and all sorts of self-help and relationship topics etc.  Go have a look - hopefully something there will help.

https://www.enotalone.com/blogs/category/7-videos/

[lostandhurt]

I think you should listen to the women on here as I am sure they know about a zillion times more about women than you do. 

  They have all been pretty understanding and helpful and instead of being thankful for the insights you are lashing out because it isn't what you want to hear.

  Here is my last bit of advice if you are standing your ground on this waiting strategy.

Here it is:  Start buying lotto tickets and when you win several million I am sure once you are on the local news some women will ask you out. 

  I believe this has about as much of a chance of working as your current plan to get a date.  This way you are running two different plans at the same time which doubles your chances.

In all seriousness from what you have shown here I am afraid that once you get a date it will not go much farther than one or two before you get ghosted.  Women have their own opinions and when they do not align with yours you need to accept differing point of views without reacting like you have done here.

  And on that note I am out.  (Drops mic)

  Good luck, I hope things work out for you somehow

  Lost 

[maritalbliss86]

I didn't get to read most of the replies, but I'm sure there is some good advice being given.  

Just anecdotal, but there was a guy who I could tell liked me and seemed to be waiting for me to make the first move, which after awhile, I just found so strange for a man to do.  He gave me all these hints and non-verbal cues from across the room... for weeks... until it just got weird!

Then he seemed to give up and actually seemed angry and gave these non-verbal anger cues (it was a classroom/work-like environment).  The non-verbal anger I sensed from him just made everything all that more weirder, and confirmed I was right in sensing something was, "off."

Don't be like that.  If you want to ask someone out, it's best to just do it and see if they say yes or no.

[Andrina]

Negative energy practically oozes from the pores, even if one isn't actively in the process of engaging in their regular pattern of lashing out. The toxic fumes linger, and only broken people won't be repelled by that negativity.

Plenty of books are available on making improvements to change negative thinking to positive thought processes. It's very freeing and empowering to release the anger and choose positivity.

Think of the people you're attracted to. I guarantee they're bright lights shining with warmth, and it shows clearly in their facial expressions, body language, and how they speak to others.

[LaHermes]

Listen to me That36Guy.  Anger and lashing out for no reason is a most unattractive trait.  Whether on here or in real life.

I am wondering is the fear of your own reaction to "rejection" that is holding you back, as in, would you lash out at the girl who "rejects" you.  Would you lash out anyhow at any perceived "rejection" or slight?  

No matter who you ask out, and who accepts a date, do remember that after a few dates the girl might decide she doesn't wish to continue with you and withdraws.   And that could happen many many times.  

As Andrina pointed out above, underlying anger and hostility reek off a person, and can be quite palpable.