What's your opinion on walking dates?

Jibralta · June 13, 2021

3 hours ago, kim42 said:

It's true I'm not crazy about him, but I thought he was nice so I wanted to get to know him a little more, I don't see anything wrong about this.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

One thing that stand out though, is that you're already sort of complaining about him.

Cherylyn · June 14, 2021

I hope this guy isn't cheap. I'd suggest as others had mentioned, a stop for tea or coffee after the walk. Or, go dutch for lunch (each paying his or her way).

I remember when I dated and it was always lunch, dinner or something like that which was nice.

Did you say he wanted to come to your place? He sounds creepy and cheap! Use your intuition and gut feelings. If you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, then he's already a red flag. Something about him doesn't add up.

kim42 · June 14, 2021

10 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

I hope this guy isn't cheap. I'd suggest as others had mentioned, a stop for tea or coffee after the walk. Or, go dutch for lunch (each paying his or her way).

I remember when I dated and it was always lunch, dinner or something like that which was nice.

Did you say he wanted to come to your place? He sounds creepy and cheap! Use your intuition and gut feelings. If you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, then he's already a red flag. Something about him doesn't add up.

Yes, he wanted to come to my place when we were still in lockdown, I said I didn't like that idea, so now he's been suggesting a walk.

As O said, I wanted to give him a chance, but I see very little effort from him, when he texts me, it's only to ask me out, the conversation is sort of boring, I tried to initiate a more interesting chat, but it didn't help.

Wiseman2 · June 14, 2021

Ok, just consider him a casual acquaintance rather than a BF who needs to text or "put effort" into dates.

That way you can focus on dating and still have casual friends to take walks, do stuff with, etc.

Next time, ask if he wants to go to a museum with you or do something you like, since you are not dating, just friends.

DancingFool · June 14, 2021

I think you are over complicating this.

If something feels off about a guy, trust your instincts and don't bother with him. It doesn't really matter if otherwise what he is offering is normal or would be acceptable to most people. It's not about what he is offering, it's that your gut response is NO. Don't ignore that.

Other thing is that if the guy's idea of a date isn't working for you, just counter to what does work for you and see how he reacts. This right here can be a really revealing moment on whether or not you should date him. Basically, if he shows an attitude about you suggesting something different or continues to debate and counter offer instead of respecting what you want - run.

tattoobunnie · June 14, 2021

I would just ask him, "so what's up for only asking me on walking dates?" And don't add more, just let him respond. Could be because he wants you to feel safe and comfortable. He wants to see you in yoga pants. Or he's cheap. Or can't plan anything, and this is how it will be like, and BLEH.

Cherylyn · June 14, 2021

8 hours ago, kim42 said:

Yes, he wanted to come to my place when we were still in lockdown, I said I didn't like that idea, so now he's been suggesting a walk.

As O said, I wanted to give him a chance, but I see very little effort from him, when he texts me, it's only to ask me out, the conversation is sort of boring, I tried to initiate a more interesting chat, but it didn't help.

He's cheap, wants walking dates and wants to go to your place. NO.

Mona Lisa · June 16, 2021

I've read somewhere, possibly reddit, that guys do walking dates so they don't spend money and can leave quickly if they don't like the date. While I think walking dates are nice for couples, I think it's tacky for a man that claims to want to date you. If a man is that flaky, cheap and scared, why is he even asking you out?

Now, ask him why he wants a walking date. His intentions could be different from what I stated, but you never know.

The Invisible Man · June 16, 2021

It's got no written all over it. It just sounds weird.

Jibralta · June 16, 2021

8 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

I've read somewhere, possibly reddit, that guys do walking dates so they don't spend money and can leave quickly if they don't like the date.

I can see how that might be true. But I think walking dates are fine if you're meeting for the first time. Preferable, even. It gives both people an easy out if they find that they aren't into each other for whatever reason.

Of course, that's not the case here, because Kim42 already knows the guy. I guess the only way she's going to find out if he's flaky and cheap is if she takes a walk with him.

Kim, did you make a decision?

Wiseman2 · June 16, 2021

10 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

ask him why he wants a walking date.

Either you say yes to a date or no. It's that simple. Not insinuate or ask rhetorical questions.

kim42 · June 16, 2021

I said no to the walking date, I'm just not interested, he makes very little effort. Thanks everyone for your help 🙂

Mona Lisa · June 16, 2021

1 hour ago, kim42 said:

I said no to the walking date, I'm just not interested, he makes very little effort. Thanks everyone for your help 🙂

Glad you were able to come to a decision. ☺️

Mona Lisa · June 16, 2021

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Either you say yes to a date or no. It's that simple. Not insinuate or ask rhetorical questions.

I'm not the one asking for advice. So not sure why you're telling me this.

Mona Lisa · June 16, 2021

4 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I can see how that might be true. But I think walking dates are fine if you're meeting for the first time. Preferable, even. It gives both people an easy out if they find that they aren't into each other for whatever reason.

Of course, that's not the case here, because Kim42 already knows the guy. I guess the only way she's going to find out if he's flaky and cheap is if she takes a walk with him.

Kim, did you make a decision?

Focus on op, not me. Thanks.