A new chapter

[Jibralta]

25 minutes ago, reinventmyself said:

There are articles regarding routine alcohol use lowering serotonin.  I came across them when I noticed a pattern of drinking and waking up in the middle of the night feeling super anxious and wanted to know why.

Interesting! This happens to my boyfriend when he drinks.

[reinventmyself]

2 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Interesting! This happens to my boyfriend when he drinks.

At first it raises serotonin. But continued use does the opposite.  It's miserable enough for me to make the change.  At the very least I will drink early and spend the rest of the evening drinking lots of water before I go to bed.  That seems to work for me.

[Jibralta]

6 hours ago, dias said:

I believe alcohol lowers your inhibitions and you are more like your true self in a way. So it makes me more like my true self without the logical veneer, this is how I experience it. This means I laugh with pretty much everything, I laugh very easily under normal circumstances but only when I am with people I know and I am comfortable with. With alcohol I just laugh with everything and everyone or even with some random thoughts. Also, I get angry very fast with alcohol, not aggressive whatsoever like some people, for example if someone says something provocative that I would normally ignore, when I am drunk I am more than eager to reciprocate. I could very easily get into fights (even knowing I would get my *ss kicked lol). 

I agree and am similar except that I don't get provoked very easily whether I'm drunk or sober. However, when I do get provoked, I will fight you whether I am drunk or sober lol!

[dias]

15 hours ago, reinventmyself said:

There are articles regarding routine alcohol use lowering serotonin.  I came across them when I noticed a pattern of drinking and waking up in the middle of the night feeling super anxious and wanted to know why.

I stopped for a while and now just drink socially, rather than having that glass or two of wine a night.  The longer I go without the better I feel and better I sleep.

I didn't experience the waking up in the middle of the night part but I believe alcohol makes me feel more anxious and more emotional than usually without any valid reason. I can't explain it. I guess this is why they say alcohol and drugs impair your abilities. Everything is fine at first but when it becomes a habit things change. 

I stopped drinking on Thursday, I will update in a week, let's see if it's alcohol indeed that causes this internal havoc. 

[dias]

This project I am doing this month is a pain in the *ss, the most difficult project I have ever done. And I have to do it alone without guidance whatsoever because nobody in the department has this knowledge. I have to research and research and research and experiment with these new technologies and I have to usually do it outside of the working hours since I have to work on the BAU tasks during the working hours. 

I am doing it because 1) I suggested this solution 2) I need to learn the latest technologies, nobody is going to teach me so I have to do it myself. This knowledge is my ticket to the next job. 

Jake provided a solution but it was not stable and the performance was poor so my manager asked me to come up with another solution. The fact that Jake came up with a solution albeit not the best in two weeks is mind-boggling. Keep in mind the guy is not an engineer on paper, he does have a Masters' degree in Math from Oxford so he has good technical background but coding is not his day job and still he is probably the best coder in the company. I think Jake is one of those very rare truly gifted individuals. 

I am in the right path to solve the problem but man it's painful. I started 1 month ago and still I haven't finished. It would take more weeks (or weekends to be more accurate) to finish. At least if I manage to provide a good solution I would get the satisfaction of solving a problem that even Jake couldn't solve. 

He is certainly the smartest person in the company but I am certainly the most persistent person in the company hahahahaha 

[Jibralta]

4 hours ago, dias said:

And I have to do it alone without guidance whatsoever because nobody in the department has this knowledge. I have to research and research and research and experiment with these new technologies and I have to usually do it outside of the working hours since I have to work on the BAU tasks during the working hours.... 

....I am in the right path to solve the problem but man it's painful. I started 1 month ago and still I haven't finished. It would take more weeks (or weekends to be more accurate) to finish.

Sounds like my profession!

I've been reading a lot lately about time management and task management. All of the solutions revolve around breaking down a problem into tasks. But when you have a complex problem that requires research, it's not so easy.

Let's say on paper, the problem can be broken down into 10 fuzzy tasks, each of which require analysis and research to define (let alone complete). In my profession, it's common to discover that Task 1 takes 22 steps to define, and 12 steps to complete. I don't even want to think about Task 2 at that point. I just want to go to sleep!

[mylolita]

23 hours ago, dias said:

This project I am doing this month is a pain in the *ss, the most difficult project I have ever done. And I have to do it alone without guidance whatsoever because nobody in the department has this knowledge. I have to research and research and research and experiment with these new technologies and I have to usually do it outside of the working hours since I have to work on the BAU tasks during the working hours. 

I am doing it because 1) I suggested this solution 2) I need to learn the latest technologies, nobody is going to teach me so I have to do it myself. This knowledge is my ticket to the next job. 

Jake provided a solution but it was not stable and the performance was poor so my manager asked me to come up with another solution. The fact that Jake came up with a solution albeit not the best in two weeks is mind-boggling. Keep in mind the guy is not an engineer on paper, he does have a Masters' degree in Math from Oxford so he has good technical background but coding is not his day job and still he is probably the best coder in the company. I think Jake is one of those very rare truly gifted individuals. 

I am in the right path to solve the problem but man it's painful. I started 1 month ago and still I haven't finished. It would take more weeks (or weekends to be more accurate) to finish. At least if I manage to provide a good solution I would get the satisfaction of solving a problem that even Jake couldn't solve. 

He is certainly the smartest person in the company but I am certainly the most persistent person in the company hahahahaha 

Dias, 

 

You can do this! You are more talented and intelligent than you maybe realise - teamed with your work ethic? You can get this done. Too easy!!! 
 

Jake has pure maths or whatever from Oxford? They were gonna let a bum like me potentially read History and English there - the place has slipped 😉

 

Your colleges have respect for you and you them. I feel like, from your latest writings Dias, you are just going over a bump. It’s alright, we all do. 
 

Remember! You’re Greek! Didn’t you guys invent maths? And most of our basis for philosophy? This is a breeze. 
 

Keep pouring that whiskey down the sink and instead go out on a weekend, let off steam and drink with friends and chicks at a bar. Sometimes for our big problems, we need a bit of time away, lots of sleep to let our brain work through it and also, just to let our hair down. Catch a nap if you can? Even 15-20 minutes. When you are relaxed, it’s such an underrated state. A lot of good things happen. In boxing, there is nothing worse than a tense fighter. You have to go in loose. 
 

Work out what’s winding you tight! 
 

We’re in your corner! And when you get this done, huge job opportunities, and get that whackin’ pay cheque my friend! You will have earned it!

 

All the best Socrates! 
 

x

[mylolita]

On 5/13/2022 at 5:00 PM, Jibralta said:

I agree and am similar except that I don't get provoked very easily whether I'm drunk or sober. However, when I do get provoked, I will fight you whether I am drunk or sober lol!

You’re a dark horse Jib 😉

 

🐴 x

[mylolita]

4 hours ago, mylolita said:

You’re a dark horse Jib 😉

 

🐴 x

I’m just a fun drunk until I’m snoozy and sleepy and curl up in a booth. Doesn’t make me any flirtier because I am, to my own detriment, a shameless flirt - with booze or not! 🤪
 

x

[maritalbliss86]

On 5/14/2022 at 2:09 AM, dias said:

but I believe alcohol makes me feel more anxious and more emotional than usually without any valid reason. I can't explain it.

When it wears off, your brain *does* feel more anxiety and out of control.  

From a medical website:

Quote

Alcohol changes levels of serotonin and other neurotransmitters in the brain, which can worsen anxiety. In fact, you may feel more anxious after the alcohol wears off. Alcohol-induced anxiety can last for several hours, or even for an entire day after drinking.

I can't drink very much at all because of this... like half a bottle of beer LOL

[dias]

The ginger has been avoiding me since I met her boyfriend a few weeks ago. Apparently the guy didn't like me. It's not the first time guys who don't know me don't trust me near their girlfriends. Funny thing, I am  not the type of guy a woman would cheat on her boyfriend with. I do look the part but the reality is I am not even a womanizer. Women and sex are not in my top priorities to begin with, it's after work and exercise. At least I think that's the reason as she has been avoiding me since then, I can't think of anything else, maybe it's something else though who knows...

It's not that we talked a lot anyway but I miss the debates, she has a Polish friend who is single and we chat frequently but it's not the kind of girl who would discuss science, economy and politics etc etc.

I have no one to discuss things I am interested in. 

* I know I pursued the girl in my previous job knowing she was in a relationship but that was only because she was my "ideal" girl. Yes it was a unique case, I never liked a girl that much in my life, there are times in life you need to be greedy sorry.  It's not like I have a habit of chasing girls who are in a relationship lol. 

[dias]

On 5/15/2022 at 8:24 AM, mylolita said:

Dias, 

 

You can do this! You are more talented and intelligent than you maybe realise - teamed with your work ethic? You can get this done. Too easy!!! 
 

Jake has pure maths or whatever from Oxford? They were gonna let a bum like me potentially read History and English there - the place has slipped 😉

 

Your colleges have respect for you and you them. I feel like, from your latest writings Dias, you are just going over a bump. It’s alright, we all do. 
 

Remember! You’re Greek! Didn’t you guys invent maths? And most of our basis for philosophy? This is a breeze. 
 

Keep pouring that whiskey down the sink and instead go out on a weekend, let off steam and drink with friends and chicks at a bar. Sometimes for our big problems, we need a bit of time away, lots of sleep to let our brain work through it and also, just to let our hair down. Catch a nap if you can? Even 15-20 minutes. When you are relaxed, it’s such an underrated state. A lot of good things happen. In boxing, there is nothing worse than a tense fighter. You have to go in loose. 
 

Work out what’s winding you tight! 
 

We’re in your corner! And when you get this done, huge job opportunities, and get that whackin’ pay cheque my friend! You will have earned it!

 

All the best Socrates! 
 

x

It might came across I am jealous of Jake but I am not, I admire him, I admire great people. He is a good guy, I wouldn't know he studied in Oxford if my manager didn't tell me. He does not look like the nerdy weirdos who talk only about science and can't do anything else, he is a normal dude. 

 

Thank you for the support Lolita, I appreciate 🙂 I don't know how to reciprocate 🙂 

[mylolita]

16 minutes ago, dias said:

It might came across I am jealous of Jake but I am not, I admire him, I admire great people. He is a good guy, I wouldn't know he studied in Oxford if my manager didn't tell me. He does not look like the nerdy weirdos who talk only about science and can't do anything else, he is a normal dude. 

 

Thank you for the support Lolita, I appreciate 🙂 I don't know how to reciprocate 🙂 

No need to reciprocate or even reply Dias!

 

Just know you can do it and beyond.

 

I’m only joking about Oxford, don’t worry. Of course not everyone who went there is a stiff 😉

 

Ever seen the film ‘Waking Life’? You might find it very, very - very! - interesting…

 

 

Best, as always,

 

x

 

 

[dias]

Couldn't sleep much yesterday, I was looking for solutions for this project until late last night and when my brain is working all day it doesn't stop at night unfortunately. No switch to turn it off. I woke up early and continued working, I made headway and I like to think I solved the most difficult part of the problem. I keep my expectations low because in coding whenever you think you are close you are actually not close at all. Ah this problem solving jobs...............No coding in the next life, that's for sure. 

I was contemplating whether to go to the acting class today, very glad I did although I was tired. I really enjoyed it, we rehearsed scripts of a play, it was fun and surprisingly it helped me relax. It's the  completely opposite of coding so it's a good break for my brain. 

I went for a walk at the waterfront to enjoy the sunset after the lesson. It was such a mesmerizing sunset. Too bad I didn't have my camera with me. It was truly glorious. The camera can't capture the beauty of nature sometimes. You can see the cruise ship, usually it cruises to Norway or Spain. I might take it  next year.

 

And a selfie with one of the most iconic buildings of Liverpool in the background. 

 

Damn, I aged lol Certainly look much older than I am. This job aged me. Everything has a price I guess....

[Jibralta]

I'm glad you went to your acting class. It's important to keep fun things in life--even when you have to make them mandatory!!

[dias]

Guy at 7.50. I thought he was being sarcastic at first, it would make more sense if he was. 

I have to admit, it's difficult to detect when a politician lies, there is no inner conflict at all. I get it, lying is their job, still, it always surprises me when people lie so well even when they are faced with unexpected questions. 

I can be convincing when I am prepared to lie like most people but if you catch me by surprise I can't do it. 

 

[dias]

My manager informed me about my annual bonus that I would receive tomorrow and it was worse than I expected. It was half of the maximum I could get which is 15% of my salary (I got 7%). We had a talk about it. I told him with 3% payrise and half of the maximum bonus I don't feel appreciated by the company. Only inflation is almost 10%.

Everybody else got pretty much the same. I told him if everyone crosses the finish line at the same time regardless of the results we produce what is the point? I told him I expected more and the company let me down. He said he understands and he was disappointed as well when he found out they gave me such a small bonus but he gave me the best rating he could and it was something out of his hand. He said he has already started pushing for my promotion. Well let's see, I believe him but we will see in the next review. The promotion to Senior Engineer is one thing, the pay rise I deserve is another. No mention of a decent pay rise so far. 

The good thing is, the leadership team seemed to like my telematics project and they called Jake to join a meeting (in person) in Birmingham about it. It does frustrate me I am the last to know and I wasn't invited. It was my project and I would be the main person who will implement almost everything if they decide to proceed with the idea, the least they could do is to keep me in the loop. And I told the Chief of Technology to keep me updated. I guess I am not important enough. Lucky them I still have things I can take from this job otherwise I would be gone. 

[dias]

It took me a while to gather all the necessary documents but I finally managed to submit an application to the Greek government to remove my Greek citizenship since I live in the UK. I don't want to have anything to do with the Greek government, hopefully they will accept my documents and the next time I visit Greece would be only as a tourist. I could have done it when I moved to the UK but I wasn't sure if I would stay or go back. Now I am sure, there is not way back, only forward. 

I will apply for UK residency in October, I might take the exams for a British passport in a couple of years. Having two passports would be cool, I would have the benefits of both the UK and EU passports. I can get a Polish passport as well via my father just to have one more lol And maybe if I find a way to move to the US I would get a US passport to complete my collection lol. Like a MI6 agent 😎

I spent a bit of time checking how you can move to the US. Damn, is so freakin difficult. One way is to do a PhD, I could go down that path but it would be 6 years and a lot of work with no money. I don't mind the work but I don't want to live on a meager salary again. It took a lot of work to get a decent pay job, I am not going back to pinching pennies. So PhD is excluded. There are only two options left:

1) find an American company which would offer me a job and is willing to provide sponsorship (which is very very difficult even for the company to provide you this kind of sponsorship let alone compete with so many candidates). Plus sponsorships are numbered every year and I would have to compete with a few billion Indians and Asians lol Not great chances. 

2) find a company in the UK which has branches in the US and transfer to the US branch. This is the easiest option since companies can do it without having to explain too much to the US government. It's easier to issue a sponsorship for internal employees. 

I guess when the time comes (unless I decide to stay in the UK forever) I will try both ways. 

I don't know what the future holds but in general I am very optimistic, I think I am in the best position I have ever been in my life by all aspects: career-wise, fitness-wise, confidence-wise. 

 

 

[Jibralta]

4 hours ago, dias said:

It took me a while to gather all the necessary documents but I finally managed to submit an application to the Greek government to remove my Greek citizenship since I live in the UK.

Why don't you keep your Greek citizenship? Is it only because you dislike the government?

[Jibralta]

5 hours ago, dias said:

1) find an American company which would offer me a job and is willing to provide sponsorship (which is very very difficult even for the company to provide you this kind of sponsorship let alone compete with so many candidates). Plus sponsorships are numbered every year and I would have to compete with a few billion Indians and Asians lol Not great chances. 

My friend/coworker went this route and despite the sponsorship she still wasn't able to extend her green card. There is also a green card lottery that she didn't manage to win. I really don't understand the whole process. Our boss was very frustrated. He wanted to keep her. My friend was such an asset, so knowledgeable. And the ironic part is that she was working on Federal projects, actually benefitting the US population. But she still couldn't get a break lol.

[dias]

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Why don't you keep your Greek citizenship? Is it only because you dislike the government?

Actually I am not sure if it's the residency or citizenship. I said citizenship but it must be residency. It's for tax purposes, I was registered as unemployed in Greece all those years I am in the UK . I would probably get a hefty penalty because I didn't do it when I moved to the UK. You can't work or be unemployed in two countries at the same time. Good thing I never claimed unemployment benefits there  because they would have searched it a lot more.

 

[dias]

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

My friend/coworker went this route and despite the sponsorship she still wasn't able to extend her green card. There is also a green card lottery that she didn't manage to win. I really don't understand the whole process. Our boss was very frustrated. He wanted to keep her. My friend was such an asset, so knowledgeable. And the ironic part is that she was working on Federal projects, actually benefitting the US population. But she still couldn't get a break lol.

Yeah it's complicated and very difficult. Even if the company wants you, it has to prove to the US government that it can't find any suitable US candidate so it has to offer you a sponsorship + still has about 30%  chances to get you this sponsorship since the sponsorships are limited. Or something along those lines. Plus this sponsorship is for 5 years, it does not necessarily means green card. 

Funny thing, it's easier to move to a country illegally than legally. But illegally you can't work at a company, you can do only menial jobs.

The easy way is to apply to the US branch of my current company which I would probably do when I feel ready.

Or start a consulting company with my manager who has half jokingly asked me 1 million times about it, get rich and go wherever I want. That would be the ideal scenario. And I would get a yacht as a bonus lol 

[mylolita]

16 hours ago, dias said:

Yeah it's complicated and very difficult. Even if the company wants you, it has to prove to the US government that it can't find any suitable US candidate so it has to offer you a sponsorship + still has about 30%  chances to get you this sponsorship since the sponsorships are limited. Or something along those lines. Plus this sponsorship is for 5 years, it does not necessarily means green card. 

Funny thing, it's easier to move to a country illegally than legally. But illegally you can't work at a company, you can do only menial jobs.

The easy way is to apply to the US branch of my current company which I would probably do when I feel ready.

Or start a consulting company with my manager who has half jokingly asked me 1 million times about it, get rich and go wherever I want. That would be the ideal scenario. And I would get a yacht as a bonus lol 

Do the consulting 🥳! 
 

x

[dias]

I really have to achieve it this summer, it's been years I wanted to do human flag. I am lacking the freakin technique, I still haven't found the right balance between the arms and the core. I have to spend some workouts only on the technique. In theory I have the strength it's the technique I am lacking. 

 

[Jibralta]

My friend could do it. He wasn't big or anything. You might not have known by looking at him. But he had that strength. It was like nothing to him. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a little while. It wasn't the right situation for me.