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Lol mylolita, that guy got you going. They pretty much all plug crypto. I also noticed he kept flashing "the One" - which I only recognize because sometimes I like to wind down watching property tour videos. It's fun for me to see these lavish properties and then quip "yeah it's nice, but would I ever use half that? It's kinda stark? I think I'd be lonely!" and just let my imagination go wild on my ideal property. 🙂

I agree a lot of it is common sense, but when you consider how many people are house poor, regret buying, and a breath away from losing everything... there's some basic stuff in there a lot of people can use. 

One thing I wish I'd thought more about is how the location may change. I knew development would happen, I just was blown away by how fast and how dense. And that's something you can't totally predict. You can look at variables and guess, but change on a more fundamental level is hard to predict. 

That's one thing that blows about buying, you can't control the Ahole neighbour nor buddy selling off and a build blocking that nice view etc etc. I mean, unless you are so fabulously rich you can buy a neighbourhood and air rights! And if it's yours, it's not so easy as up and leave. 

Anyhoo, that's my rant. The housing market in Canada right now is just nuts. I know it is elsewhere too, but man, average Joe here has no hope of even a fixer upper unless they already had been working on that for a while. I'm grateful I'm older, had a chance to do something before it got to this, and I feel bad for the younger ones. The days of working up from being poor and just busting your butt, and being able to get ahead of cost of living, are fading away. I do think there are plenty who just aren't willing to do as you said - sacrifice, build, take some risks, work your ass off - but I also think it's very different now for a kid starting out. Without family leverage, it's a lot harder now. 

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5 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

Lol mylolita, that guy got you going. They pretty much all plug crypto. I also noticed he kept flashing "the One" - which I only recognize because sometimes I like to wind down watching property tour videos. It's fun for me to see these lavish properties and then quip "yeah it's nice, but would I ever use half that? It's kinda stark? I think I'd be lonely!" and just let my imagination go wild on my ideal property. 🙂

I agree a lot of it is common sense, but when you consider how many people are house poor, regret buying, and a breath away from losing everything... there's some basic stuff in there a lot of people can use. 

One thing I wish I'd thought more about is how the location may change. I knew development would happen, I just was blown away by how fast and how dense. And that's something you can't totally predict. You can look at variables and guess, but change on a more fundamental level is hard to predict. 

That's one thing that blows about buying, you can't control the Ahole neighbour nor buddy selling off and a build blocking that nice view etc etc. I mean, unless you are so fabulously rich you can buy a neighbourhood and air rights! And if it's yours, it's not so easy as up and leave. 

Anyhoo, that's my rant. The housing market in Canada right now is just nuts. I know it is elsewhere too, but man, average Joe here has no hope of even a fixer upper unless they already had been working on that for a while. I'm grateful I'm older, had a chance to do something before it got to this, and I feel bad for the younger ones. The days of working up from being poor and just busting your butt, and being able to get ahead of cost of living, are fading away. I do think there are plenty who just aren't willing to do as you said - sacrifice, build, take some risks, work your ass off - but I also think it's very different now for a kid starting out. Without family leverage, it's a lot harder now. 

Hey it’sall 🤣

 

Oh my God I know, who put 50p in Lo and wound her up right? 🤣🤣 I am easily off the mark aren’t I! Sorry Dias! (He doesn’t deserve my typing like the bongos!!) 

 

No I totally get your point itsall, I really do. Maybe I am too optimistic in this department! Eeep! I did get lucky, in that, on my own steam, I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for THE HUSBAND, y’know 🤣 But then again I think wait girl, you’re selling yourself short. I made some pretty decent money when I was dancing. I was making £300 a night sometimes for 5 hours work, sometimes more. So, maybe I would’ve bought my own nice little apartment? Y’know what, I think I would have! LOL! Who knows. It‘s a short career girls, you’re done by 28! 
 

But anyway, no I really do feel empathy and truly sorry for young couples or singles starting out, it is rough. It‘s a tough time. But people have been through world wars and great depressions and still managed to come out of it and purchase homes. I believe people can still do it, you just need some real hard work and a little lucky break somewhere down the line. 
 

People don’t want to buy first in a bad area. I get that, and I understand. And yes, getting good neighbours is luck of the draw, wow isn’t it just! We just met most of our neighbours (we have a celebrity that lives 4 doors down!) and they all seem lovely, been invited in all their houses to have a “look around” as nosey as I am this is just THE BEST and you BET I was in there like a bat outta hell oh yes Lil Lo wasn’t too proud to go snooping!! 
 

Canada ay! You’re a Canadian girl Grand? How do you find living there? And is it true Canadians feel just so much more sophisticated than Americans? 🤪 My husbands Aunt lived there for 10 years in Toronto. You do need coin to generally to live there. They were wealthy and put their 3 boys through private school and what not. They owned a dental practice they were both dentists. 
 

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Oh that's great that the neighbours are lovely so far! I have to say, most of mine are too. The family directly beside us are gems, a really nice family with 3 kids. I like them a lot,  and we keep watch on each other's properties when the other is gone. Sort of a stereotype here with kids playing hockey in front of my street and skidoos tearing around in winter. I like that though, and the huge lots - that's why I get sad seeing more and more houses go up. I like the peace, the nature, the fact I can't hear my neighbours! 

Haha, oh no, I don't think we are more sophisticated than Americans. Though there is something, it's easy to spot an American right away. It's hard to say why exactly but they can generally spot us too. 

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I met my brother this weekend. He came for the interview at Cambridge on Tuesday and we met in London for the weekend. We walked a lot, we visited some nice restaurants and stores, met a colleague of his for a coffee, we had a good quiet time. As always, the discussions were around career/success/money. Now that I am thinking about it, all the conversations I have had with my brother the last decade were career related. It makes sense in a way, we are both driven, our jobs are our lives pretty much.

We discussed a lot about the differences between the US and the UK. Both English speaking Western countries, very different cultures though. Different on many levels. We concluded what we already knew: if you want quality of life then the UK is better, if you want money and success the US is better (or if you want holidays Greece is better lol). The way people see and prioritize things is very different.

I asked him how he found the interview at Cambridge compared to the interviews he had in the US. He said in the UK it was easier, they didn’t scrutinize everything like in the US and people were more chilled. He said he made a couple of jokes and they really liked it. Yes, British like humour and banter even during very formal interviews, they are more relaxed and they don’t have this competitiveness Americans have. Aside from the interview, professors in the UK enjoy a lot more freedom and as a professor you can’t get fired which is quite awesome if you think about it (I think it’s the same everywhere in Europe).

That being said, the salary is almost 3 times lower than in the US. Moreover, the budget he would receive for research at Cambridge is 150K GBP whilst the budget for research in the US is 700K USD. So you see, it’s money vs quality of life. It really depends on your personality. Personally, I can’t really tell since I haven’t worked in the US. I very briefly worked with US clients when I worked in London, I didn’t like it, the moment you made a mistake they threw you under the bus. I love the go-getter mentality Americans have but at the same time I hate this nasty competition. Of course, my experience was very limited so I can’t form an opinion. However, I can form an opinion about working with British. British in general are very easy to work with and have (in my opinion) the right attitude when it comes to mistakes. As long as you are willing to fix it, then everything is fine, they have high tolerance when it comes to mistakes. I have worked 1,5 years in Athens and 4 years in the UK, the number of times I was told off in Athens in 1,5 years is 4 times higher than 4 years in the UK. I believe this is the right approach, mistakes happen, you can’t avoid it, but as long as you fix them it’s fine. I also like the fact they have a collective approach on things, I don’t like nasty competition, it’s the complete opposite of my consensus building personality.

There are always pros and cons I guess. I would like to move to US one day, mainly because I want to be close to my brother.

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Evening Dias!

 

Glad you and your brother had a lovely weekend, it’s so special to have such a bond! 
 

I think we’re alright here in the UK y’know 😉

 

I often think, for a teeny tiny island you can drive to the end and back in 14 hours or so, that are at the head of the western world, are still one of the financial powerhouses… I don’t know, it makes me feel very proud. I think we have a unique combination here of, independent thought, dry, depreciating humour of ones self, integrity, empathy and a bit of nerve too. When you think most of the western world speaks English, it is quite a feat. We don’t even have Scotland and Wales and most of Ireland anymore. Size wise we are a ridiculous blip yet here we are, hanging in there and holding our own, no matter how ridiculous it all gets.

 

We are honoured to have you here Dias! Please travel but always come back! I realise you are a Prince of Athens but to us, you are British, and we are proud to have you!

 

x

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PS - I was reading the kids a bedtime story tonight. It was a very traditional tale set in the nitty gritty tram and terrace streets of 1930s Liverpool and I thought ah! That‘s where Dias calls home for a bit!

 

All the best!

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23 hours ago, mylolita said:

I often think, for a teeny tiny island you can drive to the end and back in 14 hours or so, that are at the head of the western world, are still one of the financial powerhouses… I don’t know, it makes me feel very proud.

You should be🙂

23 hours ago, mylolita said:

 When you think most of the western world speaks English, it is quite a feat.

Facts are ....facts! 

https://citi.io/2020/01/20/the-10-biggest-empires-in-human-history/#:~:text=The 10 Biggest Empires In Human History 1,9 Yuan Dynasty. ... 10 Portuguese Empire.

23 hours ago, mylolita said:

We are honoured to have you here Dias! Please travel but always come back! I realise you are a Prince of Athens but to us, you are British, and we are proud to have you!

How can I leave when you say things like this 😘

23 hours ago, mylolita said:

PS - I was reading the kids a bedtime story tonight. It was a very traditional tale set in the nitty gritty tram and terrace streets of 1930s Liverpool and I thought ah! That‘s where Dias calls home for a bit!

Liverpool is a nice place for a family excursion! Kids would love the dock. 

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Empires, Rule Britannia 🥲 Not bad for an island the size of a coin right?! Queen Vic!

 

We were the first to abolish slavery as well, and give women the vote (my husband jokes, bad move! LOL!) We pretty much (with minor help) won both World Wars (you’re welcome western democracy as we know it no problem!) We invented the concept of a Parliament and a whole host of other major and scientific breakthroughs - hello Charles Darwin theory of evolution, hello gravity, Sir Isaac Newton! We have the best special forces in the world, the SAS (Who dares, wins!) Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliette! The Rolling Stones 🤘Wuthering Heights, George Orwell 1984, Isambard Kingdom BrunelI, Boadicea and Her Daughters! I could go on 🥲

 

It’s not fashionable to be patriotic today if you are British because, we are too apologetic as a nation but, I feel that soppy side of us is part of our lil ol’ charm! I am quite the proud little Celt and I think Dias, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being in love with your Greek roots and heritage whilst also enjoying our rainy windy little piece of rolling green fields!

 

Yessss! Well it’s far for us to travel with three tiny ones, 45 mins in the car with them is enough for me, anything longer and they start trying to burst out of their car seats! HA! But! I used to love going to Leeds Armoury, I have been about 4 times before having kids. I love history y’see. It’s a fabulous place! Liverpudlian female glamour is something to behold - hahahaha! Even if it isn’t the most classy, elegant or sophisticated (that is best left to the Italians or the French!) but, it is down to Earth and fun and lovely! Get those hair rollers out girls! 
 

Glad you are liking our tiny little nest! I am also very glad the people at work make you feel welcome 🤗 

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I had my official review yesterday. Basically there are two people evaluating me, my manager (officially) and Jake (unofficially) who is the manager of my manager. They told me they never had such an inquisitive and driven (they forgot to say creative as well!) person in the company before, it's hard for them to keep me challenged*. They want to keep me forever here. My manager told me Jake has informed the leadership team about me. 

That being said, I know they know there is an "expiry" date, maybe in a year, maybe in 2 years but there is certainly one. It's the best job I ever had, I never really enjoyed working that much in my life, I love the people I work with but it's my nature to always seek better. 

I asked for a 20% pay-rise but Jake said I am already making the max I can make for my position. I told them I am not satisfied. It's not like I am making crazy money and I am being unreasonable. The average data engineer salary at this company on Glassdoor is 61K and I make 50K so I told them if the typical data engineer makes 60K I want at least 60K since I am above average. They said on Glassdoor it includes salaries for Senior Engineers as well that's why the average is 61K. They said they will try to promote me to a Senior Engineer in the next mid-year review and then I will be eligible for a proper pay-rise. Usually I know those kind of promises are empty promises but people have proved me wrong in this company, they do what they say albeit very slowly(which is quite refreshing still) so let's see....

 

 

Below is the form I had to fill in. These are my manager's answers (which reflects Jake's opinion too). 

 

 What you’re proud of so far?

Manager: I think you can be really proud of what you have achieved this year, you are highly regarded. It's been a pleasure working with you and the way you share your knowledge to the wider team is good for the team moral. As a team we need to improve data quality and reliability of our frame work and you will need to be at the forefront of this. The move to Azure will help with us having more control and improve our reputation.

 

How have you adapted so far and met challenges?

Manager: You have done amazingly since you have started, your appetite for learning new things is infectious and it helps dragging the remainder of the team into the Cloud work. The VS D&A are in such a good shape because of you efforts and is appreciated. I am really proud of your achievements and I think the future is really bright for you within the company. Please keep this up.

 

What you plan to work on to improve?

Manager: If we can focus on Quality and time to market then we can demonstrate to the business our potential and we will get loads more work in. You are a real team player and the wider team is really benefiting from it. Please keep it up I would like to set you a goal of becoming the Python expert in D&A which will help with your progression to Senior Data Engineer

Employee Overall Comments on Performance

Manager: In my opinion you performance have been exceptional, you might want to learn to be a little more patent, the business does not always respond in a reasonable time. I feel you have taken on board my comments from previous reviews and are truly on your way to becoming a Senior Data Engineer.

 

What are your plans to further develop your career?

Me: Work more. Get better. Make less mistakes.

Manager: My advice to you is to work less and play more. You are doing way too many hours. If you want to reduce errors, ask your team members to peer review your work, this does not take long and will get somebody else's input that might prevent errors

 

 

 

*I always wonder, do people ever think why I am so driven compared to the average employee? maybe they are thinking I just want a good salary/position, I don't know. The reality is, I wasn't born to be an employee, I am thinking about financial empires, I took the wrong turns in life and I ended up an employee (which I am trying to fix)

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Dias!

 

This is excellent, and completely well deserved! Congratulations!

 

Please don’t take my word on this but, they are spinning you one. They could pay you more than 61K even if they wanted. If you are serious enough to actually leave, and really want the pay rise now, call their bluff, hand in your notice. Tell them you can get a higher salary next month somewhere else. Match it or I’m so sorry, I don’t want too go, but I have too. Thank them for the opportunity. Watch them match it straight away 😉

 

But you have to be prepared to actually leave and be okay with it if they said no! I did the same thing at my last job, was so highly regarded it made me blush, they thought I did a great job and I really think I did too; like yourself, hard worker, gave it my best, quality control was decent and for some reason I lifted the morale of the whole office they told me! You could feel the negative weight on the morning lift after I’d been through and asked everyone what they needed for the day and how I could help and a little joke here and a little coffee there. Anyway, I did the same thing, handed in my notice unexpectedly. Even at admin level they fell over themselves to keep me. They offered me money they told me no one in the company was getting paid at my level, not even people who had been there 15 years. (They all say the same thing). They gave me it!!!!! But I also wanted a change to my working hours also, which, they couldn’t do ontop. So I thanked them and left anyway. But I had my lovely offer on that table before the next day was out and I had the director call me at my house, out of hours, personally 😉 We had good rapport anyway. I made my mistakes don’t get me wrong but, I never tried to cover them or blame them on anyone else and I would stay back to fix something, that kind of thing.

 

Major congrats!

 

And they are right Y’know. Not to get back to the topic of “The British” but we aren’t all that serious and we don’t trust anyone too into their work or too serious about it. I’d take that advice. Take your holidays, ask for a day or two here or there. They will realise you are human and it will only warm and relate them too you even further ☺️
 

“Mr Churchill, to what do you attribute your success in life?

Conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down!”

 

- Sir Winston Churchill 

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4 hours ago, mylolita said:

Please don’t take my word on this but, they are spinning you one. They could pay you more than 61K even if they wanted. If you are serious enough to actually leave, and really want the pay rise now, call their bluff, hand in your notice. Tell them you can get a higher salary next month somewhere else. Match it or I’m so sorry, I don’t want too go, but I have too. Thank them for the opportunity. Watch them match it straight away 😉

I agree. Dias, you were active in my journal four years ago, when I faced this very situation at my then-current job. I asked for a 14% raise, and waited at least several months for them to follow through. I suspected they were banking on me giving up and settling--and I learned I was right later on.

You may remember that I ended up applying outside of the company, almost on a whim, thinking I'd use whatever offer I got to negotiate. I got an offer that was 19% more than what I was currently making. To my own surprise, I didn't use it to bargain with my current employer. They offered to match the offer, and I still didn't stay, even though I loved them dearly and felt sad to leave. I realized it was time to move on. 

And maybe that's why you are ok with them putting you off. You are not afraid to move on when you feel the time is right. Also, sometimes there's a trade-off between salary and experience. The lower salary can be thought of as tuition for learning a new skill.

By the way, I literally just read an article that said you should never ask for a raise during your review. I have no idea if that's true or not, but I thought the article made some interesting points. Maybe you will, too (Step 2 is where they tell you not to ask for a raise during your review):

https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-a-promotion/#asking-for-a-promotion-step2

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Yes I agree with Jib who, is intensely more career hardened than I ever could be - my 3 years n’all 🤣 not exactly speaking from a depth of experience here so don’t take everything I say too heart! 
 

Just hit them with it and hit them with it along with your notice too. That was the main impact I think. And in the nicest and most respectful way as well. I was shocked myself that it even worked at the time! My husband initially gave me the advice. He has been in the director manager hire and fire raise and demote role before and he knows the bs when he sees it. If they really need you, they’ll do everything to keep you, within reason, and within their power. 
 

I got what I wanted mostly, which was a big ask. They ended up increasing my salary by 7k a year which is a lot when you are simply admin and only been there just gone 3 years, no degree or qualifications etc. And I wanted to go from 5 days to 3. They said they could let me work 3 and then do a half day for the 4th - my choosing and my time. More money and less hours needed to work. But I really needed it to be just 3 days. We were on the edge of things maybe taking off. We had just bought the house, my husbands business was starting to gain big traction. I knew I wasn’t going to be working there at all even in another year if everything carried on; so I was completely prepared to leave anyway.

 

I remember the Director who I negotiated with was so friendly and respectful. He said, sincerely I believe that, he would happily let me do the 3, but it was really just too much with the salary increase and all. I believed him that time round, he had bent over backwards to meet my requests.

 

I remember him leaning back in his office chair. The creak. Stretching his arms, lacing his fingers together behind his neck, straining his pin stripe shirt. He sighed in admiration, we both stood up, he shook my hand and said, “We’re really going to miss you here. Are you sure you won’t stay and take the offer?” I smiled and shook my head and then he laughed. “Go on then, off with you! Go make your millions in your 7 bed mansion!”

 

But that was a real exaggeration around the office because, it had 6 😉

 

x

 

 

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Thank you both for the support 🙂

Yes Lolita I know how it works but I have found out trying to make them match another offer is pointless. The reason I am saying this is because every company has a certain budget more or less for each position, even if you are Elon Musk there is a limit of what they can give (they are running a company, not a charity right? we would do the same). I don't believe trying to squeeze some bucks out of them is the best move, the best move is to indeed change companies which offer a lot more. Like people, what you see is what you get pretty much, you can squeeze them for something more but it won't be much in the end. For instance the wage bracket they have for Senior Data engineers in my company is 50K - 70K. The wage bracket for Senior Data engineers in the market is 70K-90K. If I find another job with 80K they won't increase my salary 30K to match it, I can guarantee you that, no matter how good I am. You just move to another company that's it.

Gone are the days you stay in a company for years, that was in our parent's era. Now every 1-2 years you need to change jobs, this is how it works now. I chatted with my old housemate in Norwich who is a Software Engineer too and he told me they have been avoiding his annual review because they know he will ask for a lot more. Well, he got another job for 20K more. He was 15 months in the company. This is how it works now. 

Besides, I have been at this company only 10 months, they don't need me that much 🙂 If anything it is not the technical skills I bring to the table, you can find millions of better engineers, I bring to the table motivation and help everyone on the team to get better and move forward. 

 

20 hours ago, Jibralta said:

And maybe that's why you are ok with them putting you off. You are not afraid to move on when you feel the time is right.

Very perceptive. Yes I am not on the level I want technically wise, I have a lot of things to learn before I apply for a better job, I can't get it right now, I still have a lot of things to learn before I start looking for another job. I reckon I need at least 1 year. To be honest if they make me Senior Engineer and give me 10k pay-rise in October I would stay for another year. I am having fun and I have a lot of freedom. Plus, most companies now want people back to the office. As you can imagine most well paying jobs are in London and I just don't want to move to London......

 

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There is Spanish guy in the building, I don't know him well, we just say hi mostly. He had a gathering at his place Friday night and I joined for a few hours. There was a Mexican girl there, she told me she came for a couple of months in the UK and although she is staying with this guy they are not a couple (the next day she revealed they used to be a couple). Anyway, I brought the third bottle of JD that my manager sent me at Christmas (I finished the other 2 lol), and because this bottle was very sweet and I didn't like it I gave it to this girl. She said she can return the favour with a date. 

I didn't take it seriously but yesterday she texted me first so I thought given she is here only for 2 months and she already lives with this guy she might want to have some fun on the side. So I proposed a coffee. We spent 4 hours in the afternoon, we went for a coffee first, then for something to eat and then for a beer at a pub. She barely understands English so we were using google translation for most things. Not the best conditions for a date (especially for me who enjoy conversations) but well I just wanted sex. I took her some photos with the camera during the date and when we were in the bar I suggested going back to my place to check the photos on the pc. She wrote on google translation she was too tired to speak English and maybe we could not speak for a few minutes (I mean I have heard more plausible excuses lol). Anyway, a minute later she told me she is going to another pub with this Spanish guy. I was ok....?

I did all the boring stuff (and paid for everything) and he is the one who got laid probably hahahahahaha That was my good deed for the day lol. She implied another date but when she saw my face she understood there are no other dates. I am not doing the English teacher, tourist guy and meal sponsor for nothing, ok one time I had to take the risk, the second time it would be dumb. Well played from her part though, enjoying two (or more) guys, I give her some credit for this. 

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1 hour ago, dias said:

There is Spanish guy in the building, I don't know him well, we just say hi mostly. He had a gathering at his place Friday night and I joined for a few hours. There was a Mexican girl there, she told me she came for a couple of months in the UK and although she is staying with this guy they are not a couple (the next day she revealed they used to be a couple). Anyway, I brought the third bottle of JD that my manager sent me at Christmas (I finished the other 2 lol), and because this bottle was very sweet and I didn't like it I gave it to this girl. She said she can return the favour with a date. 

I didn't take it seriously but yesterday she texted me first so I thought given she is here only for 2 months and she already lives with this guy she might want to have some fun on the side. So I proposed a coffee. We spent 4 hours in the afternoon, we went for a coffee first, then for something to eat and then for a beer at a pub. She barely understands English so we were using google translation for most things. Not the best conditions for a date (especially for me who enjoy conversations) but well I just wanted sex. I took her some photos with the camera during the date and when we were in the bar I suggested going back to my place to check the photos on the pc. She wrote on google translation she was too tired to speak English and maybe we could not speak for a few minutes (I mean I have heard more plausible excuses lol). Anyway, a minute later she told me she is going to another pub with this Spanish guy. I was ok....?

I did all the boring stuff (and paid for everything) and he is the one who got laid probably hahahahahaha That was my good deed for the day lol. She implied another date but when she saw my face she understood there are no other dates. I am not doing the English teacher, tourist guy and meal sponsor for nothing, ok one time I had to take the risk, the second time it would be dumb. Well played from her part though, enjoying two (or more) guys, I give her some credit for this. 

You’re gonna get a total show stopper Dias, just wait! She’ll walk in there! 
 

I only ever had 3 dates in my whole life. I don’t know how people do it. Although, if I were single; it would probably be a whole lotta fun! HA! You have to look on the bright side don’tcha!

 

Anyway, it always amazes me that English isn’t even your first language. I don’t get it. I can barely say “ja” in German - LOL! 
 

And I see your point Dias, if you want that major career leap. I would simply just ask for the promotion and pay rise there and then or you are leaving, but that is me. Your current situation with work sounds perfect for you. It’s not just about the money is it. Most people would take more suitable working hours, holidays and liking their co-workers over quite a bit more money onto their pay cheque. As materialistic as I am, I always put how I feel and all of that above any earthly gain! Nice to have best of both but in this life I am learning, they rarely come as a pair, and if by someone lightening chance your personal life goals and your financial or career life goals meet as one, you are extremely lucky, and, it may be fleeting! 
 

PS Jib - you always have the answer 😎

 

x

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4 hours ago, mylolita said:

PS - can I also be very nosey 

image.png.48440869bfba27c280f5227a573e5117.png

Multiple reasons. 

1) Although I grew up in a big city I don't like living in big cities. I like middle size cities, still being able to do most of the things you would do in a big city but also more convenient and walkable. You get the best from both worlds.

2) I can't live away from the sea, I get depressed. It is just how I am wired. 

3) London like other big metropolitan cities has a lot of crime. I love walking, I walk everyday after work to unwind, I don't want to be in alert mode whilst I walk. Plus, usually there is a bad neighbourhood right after a good one. The only place I could live in London is in Canary Wharf which I really like but if you walk 10 minutes (in every direction) then it's like a ghetto. 

4) Cost of living. 60K is Liverpool or in the North is like 80K in London. It does not make sense to trade my job for more money so I could pay the difference for accommodation. I wouldn't gain anything and it's not like I want to live in London

5) London is not like the rest of the country. It's a financial multicultural powerhouse but it does not really represent the British culture and the rest of the country. What would be the point of living in the UK if I wouldn't learn the British culture?

 

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4 hours ago, mylolita said:

You’re gonna get a total show stopper Dias, just wait! She’ll walk in there! 

I ran into her today. She tried to initiate a conversation, we talked a bit but I don't want to invest more time. 

Later she texted me if I know a nice place for hiking. I replied with an area across the river but I didn't follow up. Maybe I can get some if I pursue it but I am not that interested in her to do it. 

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4 hours ago, mylolita said:

Anyway, it always amazes me that English isn’t even your first language. I don’t get it. I can barely say “ja” in German - LOL! 

Thanks 🙂 Although my English is quite poor for what it should have been. I started English lessons when I was 5 so by now I should have been able to talk like I am rehearsing Shakespeare's plays. I am dumb as a rock when it comes to languages. I am trying nonetheless because English is my favourite language!

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On 4/10/2022 at 5:37 PM, dias said:

I ran into her today. She tried to initiate a conversation, we talked a bit but I don't want to invest more time. 

Later she texted me if I know a nice place for hiking. I replied with an area across the river but I didn't follow up. Maybe I can get some if I pursue it but I am not that interested in her to do it. 

She reached out again the past few days. We went out for a pint yesterday. We kissed a few times. Hmm, she didn't put any tongue but I think there was chemistry. I liked kissing her. Now I am more interested lol. 

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On 4/10/2022 at 5:43 PM, dias said:

Thanks 🙂 Although my English is quite poor for what it should have been. I started English lessons when I was 5 so by now I should have been able to talk like I am rehearsing Shakespeare's plays. I am dumb as a rock when it comes to languages. I am trying nonetheless because English is my favourite language!

Dumb as a rock, I think not! 

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I erased my last post but it turned out as I expected (although I didn't know the reason behind it). So basically she texted me she has plans with the Spanish guy today and she can't make it. Later she texted me if we can see each other as friends only. I showed the texts to the ginger girl and she thinks it's the typical case that she just wanted to make the other guy jealous. And now that I am thinking about it, it makes sense. 

Damn, I think of myself as a clever and cunning person with questionable morals and in the end I am the one who gets played. Apparently I am not as smart as i think I am or cunning for that matter. 

And I suspect the same is happening at work, I think Jake and my manager are playing me. My manager sent me the yearly payrise and it was 3% (which is basically the inflation). Ok let's say they couldn't give me 20% because I have to become a Senior Engineer first but everybody in the company gets 3%, given that my performance was exceptional they could at least give me 4% just to show they mean what they say. 

Well I believe in facts and I don't like to squint when it comes to reality. It seems I am the dumb guy after all........hard to believe but facts are facts....

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3 hours ago, dias said:

I erased my last post but it turned out as I expected (although I didn't know the reason behind it). So basically she texted me she has plans with the Spanish guy today and she can't make it. Later she texted me if we can see each other as friends only. I showed the texts to the ginger girl and she thinks it's the typical case that she just wanted to make the other guy jealous. And now that I am thinking about it, it makes sense. 

Damn, I think of myself as a clever and cunning person with questionable morals and in the end I am the one who gets played. Apparently I am not as smart as i think I am or cunning for that matter. 

And I suspect the same is happening at work, I think Jake and my manager are playing me. My manager sent me the yearly payrise and it was 3% (which is basically the inflation). Ok let's say they couldn't give me 20% because I have to become a Senior Engineer first but everybody in the company gets 3%, given that my performance was exceptional they could at least give me 4% just to show they mean what they say. 

Well I believe in facts and I don't like to squint when it comes to reality. It seems I am the dumb guy after all........hard to believe but facts are facts....

Dias, make them promote you or hit the wind! Unless you are really happy there.

 

Ginger gals know these things best 🥲 If she has big, 80s curly hair, even better! Best for capturing knowledge and mindless t*t bits! 
 

Everyone gets played from time to time. You wouldn’t have a heart if you didn’t! 
 

x

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3 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Dias, make them promote you or hit the wind! Unless you are really happy there.

 

Ginger gals know these things best 🥲 If she has big, 80s curly hair, even better! Best for capturing knowledge and mindless t*t bits! 
 

Everyone gets played from time to time. You wouldn’t have a heart if you didn’t! 
 

x

I think she likes you actually Dias! (The curious ginger one!)
 

Would you give her a chance or are there no sparks there? 🥳

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