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My now ex and I broke up a week ago after 2.5 years of dating (not our first break up btw)-the day he broke up with me I was numb, blinded by anger more than sadness. The day after the break up I was miserable I was crying almost all day-an emotional wreck pretty much.

 

The days that followed have been ok-I don't feel sad or depressed I haven't shed a tear since that day, I do think about him all the time though and I've dreamt about my ex everyday since our breakup. Could it be that I'm still in denial about the breakup? Is that why I'm not feeling anything? Or was I over the relationship and he had to pull the plug for me to realize it?? I mean he and I haven't spoken since then, but I still find myself secretly hoping its him when I get a text message.

 

Has anyone had this happen to them?

 

Thank you!

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Sorry to hear this. What were the breakups about? What was this breakup about? The same issues? It sounds like you are relieved from all the turmoil.

My now ex and I broke up a week ago after 2.5 years of dating (not our first break up btw)-the day he broke up with me I was numb, blinded by anger more than sadness. I mean he and I haven't spoken since then, but I still find myself secretly hoping its him when I get a text message.
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Sorry to hear this. What were the breakups about? What was this breakup about? The same issues? It sounds like you are relieved from all the turmoil.

 

The only other time we broke up was over something really stupid-we got into a huge fight and he broke things off. We got back together about three months after and the relationship was fine until he broke up with me a week ago saying our relationship had “ran it’s course”

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It could be a few things:

 

1.) Delayed reaction (haven't spent enough time apart yet to fully comprehend that it's really over).

 

2.) You really were over him and are glad it's done.

 

3.)As you said, in denial and don't think it's actually over.

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Stages of grief are different for everyone.

 

Give yourself time to mourn the loss of what could have been and in time you will see and feel things appropriately for you.

 

Be good to yourself and stay in touch with family and friends that love you.

 

Lost

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Stages of grief are different for everyone.

 

 

Give yourself time to mourn the loss of what could have been and in time you will see and feel things appropriately for you.

 

Be good to yourself and stay in touch with family and friends that love you.

 

Lost

 

I agree, but the first time he broke up with me I was miserable for about a month. I slowly started to get back on my feet when he popped back into my life. That’s why I’m so confused.

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My now ex and I broke up a week ago after 2.5 years of dating (not our first break up btw)-the day he broke up with me I was numb, blinded by anger more than sadness. The day after the break up I was miserable I was crying almost all day-an emotional wreck pretty much.

 

The days that followed have been ok-I don't feel sad or depressed I haven't shed a tear since that day, I do think about him all the time though and I've dreamt about my ex everyday since our breakup. Could it be that I'm still in denial about the breakup? Is that why I'm not feeling anything? Or was I over the relationship and he had to pull the plug for me to realize it?? I mean he and I haven't spoken since then, but I still find myself secretly hoping its him when I get a text message.

 

Has anyone had this happen to them?

Thank you!

 

Yes, of course.

 

Give yourself more time. Is this your first break up? Each one is different. I also want to mention the getting back together and breaking up again pattern makes acceptance of a final break up harder most of the time. It's only logical if your mind has been trained to anticipate a make up again, as if this time isn't final. It also sounds like the break up happened in the heat of the moment or in the midst of an argument and not something you were expecting.

 

Remember that when people check out of relationships as solutions to an argument that can be resolved through respectful discussion or conversation, you're witnessing a pattern of behaviour and ongoing difficulties with communication. This shouldn't be the way to resolve arguments or discuss issues.

 

Sometimes people do this on purpose to manipulate you into feeling remorse or to trick you into feeling guilt especially if that person needs to gain the upper hand. Stop that cycle of negative emotions and reactions to those emotions and giving into issues that you know are wrong in the relationship or shouldn't be handled a certain way. Never respond to that type of manipulation.

 

Take more time and reflect on why the relationship has reached this point. There may be a silver lining.

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Don't let him 'pop back into your life'. Decide to move d forward, especially with a checked out statement such as 'ran it's course'. Don't be lured back by loneliness, only to set yourself for this again..

I slowly started to get back on my feet when he popped back into my life. That’s why I’m so confused.
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The numbness could just be the denial stage or partially relief. Sometimes break ups can be different and you can experience the stages of loss/grief in different orders. Don't be surprised if it does spring up on you from time to time and you feel sad or angry. I think that's normal. Feeling numb might be normal too right now because if a relationship is rocky or there were ups and downs you could initially be getting some relief from not having that weight of potential new conflict on your shoulders. Break ups suck. I'm learning to go through the motions and feel whoever I feel and accept that feeling until it passes.

 

Keep focusing on the positive. When you're tempted to have second thoughts or if he reaches out make sure you have a list of reasons why it didn't work out and why things will be better in the long run. Love yourself and try to do things that make you happy.

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