Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 So there's this guy and he's my half cousin (he's 30 and I'm 23) (I've already posted about him before in an old thread.. I'm just updating it) Anyway, he's a really sweet and goofy guy and I like him alot and want him to know how I feel about it...there has been times where he flirts around with me ; like compliments me, calls me his babe, sweetie and he did tell me that he likes (over text) There was one time he even asked me to marry him, I didn't believe him but then he told me that his mother liked me and wanted us to get married (this was like a year back when he said all that to me even the past few days he would tell me that he likes me and calls me these lovey dovey names. But the moment I show him interest, he just stops!!! Like he literally just talks to me like his friend (when we were on the phone talking) I'm so confused about him like is he shy? What's stopping him? Like yesterday he was flirting with me over text but when we talk over the phone, he just talks to me like a friend!!! Idk if he's shy when he talks to me over the phone. What should I do.. I really want to ask him about why he's so on and off with me, like why can't he just be straight forward about how he honestly feels. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this 😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Marriage between close relatives increases the chance of certain genetic concerns. Specifically, it increases the chances of having a child with a recessive condition. Wouldn't it cause issues in your family if you dated a DNA relative? There are hundreds of local guys who don't share your DNA. How about going the route of less issues and find one? Even if that wan't the case, he sounds really immature. I would've guessed he was 17 if you hadn't mentioned his age. And guys who are really into you make that crystal clear. When a person doesn't, move on to someone who actually asks you on dates and ensures the relationship progresses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaHermes Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Newgirl Is this the same gem from back in mid-2018? You can be certain he isn't "shy". You were given excellent advice back then by all the posters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 Yes it's the same guy 😥😥😥 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 But he isn't my close relative 😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 You are an adult, just confront him about it. Like really tell him: you would like to date, and if he is too sacred to or whatever then stop with the flirting because it's confusing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 It sounds like you are too good for him. He seems a bit stupid.So there's this guy and he's my half cousin (he's 30 and I'm 23) yesterday he was flirting with me over text but when we talk over the phone, he just talks to me like a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaHermes Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 He sure has a real nifty line in chat lol "he said his mother liked me and wanted us to get married " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 What am I supposed to say.. Like when he does the 'flirting again' or the next time I talk to him 😢😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 You are an adult, just confront him about it. Like really tell him: you would like to date, and if he is too sacred to or whatever then stop with the flirting because it's confusing you. Also we're like living in 2 different states 😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Why don't you get a real BF that you like and who is closer to your age and not a cousin? Are cousin marriages or arranged marriages normal in your culture? It's unclear why you are flirting with a cousin or he is suggesting his mother thinks you should marry.What am I supposed to say.. Like when he does the 'flirting again' or the next time I talk to him 😢😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 He sure has a real nifty line in chat lol "he said his mother liked me and wanted us to get married " I think it's true because before when they used to visit us, his mom would drop hints at my mom about it 😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaHermes Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 All of this is quite beside the point OP. Never mind that his mother is acting as marriage broker. L. "I think it's true because before when they used to visit us, his mom would drop hints at my mom about it" You know this individual is unsuitable and all that was thrashed out on the other thread. An example (you remarked): "Also I just hate it when he tells me to shut the f**k up and calls me a bi*ch (he says he's just kidding but it pisses me off so bad) sometimes he flips me off too " Do get a BF closer to home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 All of this is quite beside the point OP. Never mind that his mother is acting as marriage broker. L. "I think it's true because before when they used to visit us, his mom would drop hints at my mom about it" You know this individual is unsuitable and all that was thrashed out on the other thread. An example (you remarked): "Also I just hate it when he tells me to shut the f**k up and calls me a bi*ch (he says he's just kidding but it pisses me off so bad) sometimes he flips me off too " Do get a BF closer to home. Woah woah you got the wrong thread... I wasn't talking about that guy, he's long gone from my life 😳😳😳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 All of this is quite beside the point OP. Never mind that his mother is acting as marriage broker. L. "I think it's true because before when they used to visit us, his mom would drop hints at my mom about it" You know this individual is unsuitable and all that was thrashed out on the other thread. An example (you remarked): "Also I just hate it when he tells me to shut the f**k up and calls me a bi*ch (he says he's just kidding but it pisses me off so bad) sometimes he flips me off too " Do get a BF closer to home. " I was talking about this thread that i wrong back in 2018 - " its a long story so please bare with me yall I knwww but I really need you're help!! 😢 so theres this guy and he's my half cousin ( he's 27 and im 20 ) we are 7 years difference and yea he's my half cousin and I really like him ..he came with his to my house last December and nothing happened.. but I wanted to let that I liked him ...like at least give him hints that I like him . So I started messaging him on Facebook and then he asked for my number and weeks started texting on whatsapp and things were going well between us like I gave him hints that I liked him and he did too like he used to call me sweetie, cutie , baba , pretty lady , and this one time he texted me like 'good morning my lady' ( he's like a goofy guy kinda attitude ) and one day he said he liked me very much and said i was a very caring person ...I mean if he just saw me as his cousin he wouldnt be sayin all this .....😢this one time he said that my hands were really soft and he liked it alot (we shook hands when he came home so he texted him that they were so soft) last Saturday he just randomly texted me that he couldn't wait for me to come to his place (we live in two different states) and I said me too and he put a sad smiley and he said that liked me ...like outta nowhere he said he likes me and then I said that I liked him too and he didn't messaged me after that " 😢😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaHermes Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 OP, you just said above: "So there's this guy and he's my half cousin (he's 30 and I'm 23) (I've already posted about him before in an old thread.. I'm just updating it) " so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 OP, you just said above: "So there's this guy and he's my half cousin (he's 30 and I'm 23) (I've already posted about him before in an old thread.. I'm just updating it) " so. But that wasn't the thread I was talking about 😢😢😢😢 idk how to add the old thread to direct you to it sorry 😢😢😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Mosse Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 What am I supposed to say.. Like when he does the 'flirting again' or the next time I talk to him 😢😢 Stop talking to him if you're feeling confused or like this is going in the wrong direction and something doesn't feel right to you. If you feel better about talking with him again, don't respond to any of the flirtatious comments. This person sounds like a predator and a creep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Do your parents know about this? Surely, if he's your cousin they know who he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 1) You are related, so that right there should be the end of it. Ewww just ewww and it's disturbing you don't get this. 2) He is 30 and you are only 23. Normally 7 years is not a big deal, but at your point in life, it's a huge deal. You are way too young and you and him are at totally different levels of maturity and life stages. You shouldn't even be looking at 30 something men. Another yuck. The fact that you are so infatuated and stuck on this just illustrates how young and immature you still are. 3) Hot/cold is NOT about shyness and never about shyness. Hot/cold is a grown ass man effing with you and your naivete. He is literally playing games with you knowing full well that you are too young and inexperienced to get what he is doing and he is pretty much getting a good laugh at your expense. His mother allegedly wants you two to get married? Seriously? What kind of creepy messed up family is this? What part of just say no to dating relatives is not clear to you OP? Please grow up and get your head screwed on straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirlforever Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 Do your parents know about this? Surely, if he's your cousin they know who he is. Yea they're aware of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Also we're like living in 2 different states 😢 Doesn't matter....this will put it out there so he knows, and probably make him stop the goofing around. PM me his number I will tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimthzz Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 OK, what is a "half cousin" I know what a 1st cousin, 2nd cousin, and a 3rd cousin are. I even know all once removed, twice removed, etc. are. Please tell us what that means? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimthzz Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 I figured it out. Some one who shares just one grandparent is a half-first cousin. OK, what is a "half cousin" I know what a 1st cousin, 2nd cousin, and a 3rd cousin are. I even know all once removed, twice removed, etc. are. Please tell us what that means? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Are your families encouraging an arranged or cousin marriage? Since your parents know him and you claim they are aware of your crush and his flirting, do they hope to marry you off? Is finding your own bf or someone your age or not related allowed in your culture?Yea they're aware of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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