Money and issues with grandma

[JDAnthony]

Here's what I have been doing so far.

 

In 2014 I spent about a year on a website called Elancer which is now Upwork where I bid on projects and wrote about a variety of different topics. This wasn't the only thing I was doing, still had my retail job. Was making about 100 a week writing for Elance that but stopped when I realized I wanted to focus more on writing about dating and relationships.

 

Then my mom died and I went on a hiatus from writing for about 6 months.

 

Then in 2015 I created a blog style website of articles I've written giving dating and relationship advice.

 

Written about a hundred separate articles for content mills such as Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, Bustle, Bolde, Huffington Post. Some of which I have gotten paid for as a freelancer contributor.

 

I scaled back on my writing in 2017 to pursue a job as a fire and led performance artist (a skilled hobby I have been on for several years) with a group that wanted to hire me when we moved to SC. It's fun and makes good extra money but I don't have the energy or will to travel constantly like some of the other people in this group, so now I'm an alternate and take on a few local gigs here and there.

 

I am very present on several social media platforms and online communities where people inbox me advice for their specific situation, which I give them advice for free.

 

Built and email list to my more dedicated followers where I send out newsletter type of emails and more exclusive content.

 

I've been doing all of this in my free time and have always also had my job in retail working between 20-35 hours a week (since 2009)

 

What I want for the future: Build a larger following doing what I'm doing only more consistently. Write and sell ebooks, hard copy books. Service courses and one on one sessions through my website. Start a podcast/videocast.

 

So what degrees or certifications would be best for this? Social work and psychology? Marriage and family therapy?

 

Also doing this would put me back into debt and not the small kind I'm in right now, but like tens of thousands... until I can pay it off later. Is that a good idea?

 

I get discouraged about school because I know too many people with college degrees still working as Walmart Greeters and Gary Vaynerchuck barely finished high school and he's a millionaire.

[boltnrun]

Does your plan include full time work while you pursue your blogging career? Does your husband also intend to obtain full time employment?

[Batya33]

What you wrote sounds great for someone who has disposable income, a nest egg and savings and,if married, a husband who can be the main provider. Certainly people get rich without a college degree. In my experience and from my knowledge it's much harder to be employable without a degree. What you have pursued sounds like something to keep pursuing on the side while maintaining a full time job hopefully with benefits if your husband doesn't have benefits that cover you. Then when you've amassed a nest egg you can start to transition it to more like a full time gig.

[Seraphim]

My brother is a financial advisor . He has had to take many many courses ,exams, accreditations etc etc and has over 25 years experience. He is extremely financially solid both in liquid and saved assets. He is in the top 1% in income bracket in Canada. He is the top producer for his financial institution . He was also a comptroller.

 

When looking for financial advice that’s where people should look. People who have the qualifications and experience.

[abitbroken]

Here's what I have been doing so far.

 

In 2014 I spent about a year on a website called Elancer which is now Upwork where I bid on projects and wrote about a variety of different topics. This wasn't the only thing I was doing, still had my retail job. Was making about 100 a week writing for Elance that but stopped when I realized I wanted to focus more on writing about dating and relationships.

 

Then my mom died and I went on a hiatus from writing for about 6 months.

 

Then in 2015 I created a blog style website of articles I've written giving dating and relationship advice.

 

Written about a hundred separate articles for content mills such as Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, Bustle, Bolde, Huffington Post. Some of which I have gotten paid for as a freelancer contributor.

 

I scaled back on my writing in 2017 to pursue a job as a fire and led performance artist (a skilled hobby I have been on for several years) with a group that wanted to hire me when we moved to SC. It's fun and makes good extra money but I don't have the energy or will to travel constantly like some of the other people in this group, so now I'm an alternate and take on a few local gigs here and there.

 

I am very present on several social media platforms and online communities where people inbox me advice for their specific situation, which I give them advice for free.

 

Built and email list to my more dedicated followers where I send out newsletter type of emails and more exclusive content.

 

I've been doing all of this in my free time and have always also had my job in retail working between 20-35 hours a week (since 2009)

 

What I want for the future: Build a larger following doing what I'm doing only more consistently. Write and sell ebooks, hard copy books. Service courses and one on one sessions through my website. Start a podcast/videocast.

 

So what degrees or certifications would be best for this? Social work and psychology? Marriage and family therapy?

 

Also doing this would put me back into debt and not the small kind I'm in right now, but like tens of thousands... until I can pay it off later. Is that a good idea?

 

I get discouraged about school because I know too many people with college degrees still working as Walmart Greeters and Gary Vaynerchuck barely finished high school and he's a millionaire.

 

people who become biollionaires with a GED are the anomaly and not the norm. And you see things in black and white. Trust me, most of those walmart greeters are developmetally disabed, retired, or otherwise not looking to move up. Someone who is a go getter will be working stock on the night shift so they can go to all of their acting auditions, go to trade school, or while they are interviewing in their field during the day. They are not the greeter. Since you think you are qualified to give other people advice, what would you give someone such as yourself?

 

There are people who get college degrees hoping they will figure out what they want to do. If you are going to trade school or getting a degree in something in high demand - ie, special education teacher, medical technicians, pipe fitter, then there is no way you will be unemployed unless you are terrible at it.

 

You seriously lack boundaries if anyone can inbox you for advice for free. You are wasting your time and energy by focusing on things that don't generate income. Writing articles generated money for you, but they don't qualify you to advise people on mental health. So focus on your website getting you speaking gigs (motivational, not "counseling"if you are good at it) or more writing = things that might bring money, but do not advise people psychologically), but spend the other hours getting a W2 and taking classes instead of free advice.

[SherrySher]

Articles, blogs, and things along those lines, are fluff.

 

The average Joe with any kind of experience/opinion and a bit of writing experience can write them, it does not qualify you to counsel people or to be paid as an advisor.

 

At the very least, get some social work classes or psychology classes. Once you start them, you will see the difference between winging it and actually knowing what you're talking about.

 

On this site, we all advise. But it is a completely different world to having a paying client and being responsible and accountable for what you have advised, due to money being exchanged and it being one on one.

If you are found to have zero education in counselling and one of your clients decide to hit you with a lawsuit, you will be in a lot of trouble with no licenses or certificates.

You will come off as a fraud.

 

Articles are just an opinion, not for anyone specific and people can take it or leave it, same with blogs.

Things become a lot more serious when you take on clients for money. It is completely irresponsible to go down that road with no formal education.

I mean, you can try it, but it is a huge risk and could get you into hot water.

[Wiseman2]

What both you and your husband should want for the future is full time decent paying jobs and not relying on family to subsidize these pipe dreams.

What I want for the future:

[Batya33]

What both you and your husband should want for the future is full time decent paying jobs and not relying on family to subsidize these pipe dreams.

 

I agree and once that is in place then of course following dreams or passions or hobbies is more than fine and can be really enriching! My son is 10. Right now he wants to be a Youtuber. And at 10 years old also knows he is college bound. My dear friend's dream was to be in the entertainment field and a stay at home mom. After doing that awhile she met Mr. Wonderful. Got her dream and had a couple of kids. Had a grad degree but not in a field she could pursue (for medical/physical reasons). So for 20 years she had none of her own income and no employable skills (other than odd jobs for pocket money). He stopped being Mr. Wonderful a couple of years in. I begged her to get re-educated or re-trained in something employable or to get a job that was promotable. Nope. So now in her late 50s she lives in lower income housing, got retrained during the divorce in a field she can do (her husband paying for the licensure, education as part of the divorce deal) and is living paycheck to paycheck basically with terrible health insurance. Slowly working her way out of the financial struggles. Part of this was not her "fault" -she picked poorly in her early 20s but part was poor planning and not being willing to get out there and plan for the inevitable marriage decline and save for a rainy day (and even if it hadn't declined, her husband might not have been able to keep working at that pace for various reasons).

 

It wasn't her fault that physically she couldn't work in the field in which she had her grad degree. But she had at least 10 years to plan for what would happen if the marriage fell apart and she didn't face the challenge (taking care of kids is a full time job but she did have time to work part time/get certified in something else).

 

Look at your blogging stuff as a luxury not something you can pursue now. Many have to put off dreams like that for practicalities.

[JDAnthony]

My husband has a full time job now and he is looking for one within his means of capability that pays more. I’m willing to get a full time job in order to sustain a living now, pay off debt, and then start a savings but I vehemently do not wish to be working the 9 to 5 jive long term.

 

If that means I’ll have to work 40 hours a week for a couple years and an additional 40 hours a week working on my online business and additional schooling then that’s what I’ll have to do.

[Wiseman2]

Work whatever hours you wish, but work to earn money...or live in a hovel and drive a beater while blogging. Your choice.

I’m willing to get a full time job in order to pay off debt but I vehemently do not wish to be working the 9 to 5 jive long term. If that means I’ll have to work 40 hours a week for a couple years and an additional 40 hours a week working on my online business then that’s what I’ll have to do.

[JDAnthony]

I’ll do whatever I have to in order to accomplish my dreams of being an entrepreneur. I refuse to give up on them.

[Seraphim]

But an entrepreneur in what? Do you have a solid direction?

[JDAnthony]

Writer, dating and relationship coach. This has already been discussed throughout the thread.

[Seraphim]

Writer, dating and relationship coach. This has already been discussed throughout the thread.

 

It is better if one sticks to ONE specific thing not just a big general topic.

[Batya33]

I agree with your plan to work 40 hours a week at least at a job that pays the bills while you pursue your dream of having your own business.

[boltnrun]

Remember it takes most new small businesses on average 6 months before they start making enough to pay the bills (business bills, not personal bills). It would be wise to have at least 6 months worth of personal and business expenses saved up so you can cover for not having any income.

 

My brother started his own business a few years ago. Despite a lot of interest from potential customers it still took him a year before he could quit his full time job. He is very successful now, but he spends a majority of every day working on the business. And there's no such thing as "weekends". He would laugh at the idea.

 

See Seraphim's journal for an idea of the time commitment running your own business requires.

[JDAnthony]

Yes, indeed.

[SherrySher]

JD, I think the picture you're not seeing here, is that people who are life coaches actually have their life and relationships together.

You do not.

 

You cannot make things work properly with your family, you and your husband are having difficulties and are nowhere in a good place financially.

You barely have a decent place to live

 

Without being sarcastic, why would anyone listen to you? I mean, you could pretend that you've got it altogether, but you don't.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am not shooting down your dreams, but I think you are jumping the gun and again, you need to be properly educated.

Licenses, certificates, diplomas, they DO matter.

 

It's difficult for you to see where we are coming from. You might think we're being mean and negative. But you need far more experience, far more education and to be in a much better place in life.

Give yourself realistic expectations, 10 years down the line you could very well be doing what you want to do once you get educated and certified properly.

 

You've got great dreams, but you are no where near that right now. You can barely pay rent and are on the outs with your family.

[boltnrun]

Anyone can write a blog. Anyone can record and post YouTube videos. The trick is getting enough viewers/subscribers who are willing to pay you for your advice or information.

 

What exactly is a relationship coach? Is that someone who teaches people how to date or how to conduct healthy relationships? How does that differ from a therapist (other than the education requirements, of course)?

 

You apparently write well, but so do thousands of other people. How are you going to get your name out there so that people will be willing to get out their credit or debit cards to pay you?

 

My niece and one of my nephews decided they were going to forgo college to be "YouTube stars". My niece likes to do makeup and my nephew says he's funny. They think because they saw some kid making thousands posting videos that they can do the same thing. But how many out there are trying and not making it? Thankfully my niece changed her mind and decided on college after all.

 

I also have a coworker who has a YouTube channel and enough followers to have paid ads on his channel, but his ultimate goal is to quit working so he can be an R & B superstar singer. He's been trying for 8 years and still hasn't been able to quit his full time job.

 

I mentioned my brother earlier. It took him 10 years to get where he is right now. He is very successful but only after a LOT of blood, sweat, tears and false starts. And working a full time job until he could afford to quit. He's married but his wife understands completely that he is basically not available that much to her and their children. He had to make a lot of sacrifices.

 

I never want anyone to give up their dreams. But the kind of career you're hoping for absolutely has to be after you've worked a regular job and saved enough to afford to not be making any money for at least 6 months to one year. And have a "Plan B" in case the relationship coach/paid blogger gig doesn't work out.

[Seraphim]

I was only able to start my business because my husband floated my start up but I knew 100% there was a need for my business and I had the qualifications to do the job. I have been in business just over a year now. I will say I am exhausted. Having your own business is hard. It is ALL on you.

[JDAnthony]

JD, I think the picture you're not seeing here, is that people who are life coaches actually have their life and relationships together.

You do not.

 

You cannot make things work properly with your family, you and your husband are having difficulties and are nowhere in a good place financially.

You barely have a decent place to live

 

Without being sarcastic, why would anyone listen to you? I mean, you could pretend that you've got it altogether, but you don't.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am not shooting down your dreams, but I think you are jumping the gun and again, you need to be properly educated.

Licenses, certificates, diplomas, they DO matter.

 

It's difficult for you to see where we are coming from. You might think we're being mean and negative. But you need far more experience, far more education and to be in a much better place in life.

Give yourself realistic expectations, 10 years down the line you could very well be doing what you want to do once you get educated and certified properly.

 

You've got great dreams, but you are no where near that right now. You can barely pay rent and are on the outs with your family.

 

I didn't want to get too detailed on here. My niche is advice to women about dating and navigating relationships with men, attraction, standards, etc. It's to the women who wonder where all the good guys have gone, to the ones who want to get rid of the jerks and a-hole and instead date gentlemen and reward good behavior in men.

 

I might have financial obstacles to get around, but one thing in my life that I have mastered is how to be attractive to men, take the best one in the bunch, keep him around. I strongly believe I have a unique angle on these topics that doesn't exist out there nearly as much as it should.

 

Women already do want to listen to my advice. I know I could write sell books without getting formal education, BUT I understand that's still better to continue higher education, regardless, and I intend to do so in the future.

 

My grandma and I have talked and things are at a calm now.

 

For additional reasons other than what I have explained on here, it's best that I have a relationship with her from more a distance. We had a much better relationship before I moved here on her property. I'm sure it will be better again when we move out in a couple days.

 

Right now, I have to focus on packing and getting this place cleaned up for my dad to move in. Then I will be on the job hunt full time. Thanks everyone for your input.

[SherrySher]

I didn't want to get too detailed on here. My niche is advice to women about dating and navigating relationships with men, attraction, standards, etc. It's to the women who wonder where all the good guys have gone, to the ones who want to get rid of the jerks and a-hole and instead date gentlemen and reward good behavior in men.

 

I might have financial obstacles to get around, but one thing in my life that I have mastered is how to be attractive to men, take the best one in the bunch, keep him around. I strongly believe I have a unique angle on these topics that doesn't exist out there nearly as much as it should.

 

Again, nice ideas, but you're not the first. There are many many books, blogs, YouTube videos, etc out there from other women just like this.

Maybe do more research at the very least.

 

You sound like you think you know it all just from life experience, and no education. To those of us who are older than you and some of us ARE educated and have advised for many years, you can see why maybe why we're not taking you seriously.

 

I mean, you barely can keep a roof over your head or have money to look after a cat.

 

You've got great ideas, but it still does not mean you know what you're talking about or have had enough life experience or education to back any of it up.

 

Anyhow, I wish you the best. I am sure at some point you will find out that what we've been banging on about, is true.

[JDAnthony]

Thanks everyone!

[Wiseman2]

Have you read through this thread on internet relationship coaches?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563018&p=7188249&viewfull=1#post7188249

[Batya33]

I didn't want to get too detailed on here. My niche is advice to women about dating and navigating relationships with men, attraction, standards, etc. It's to the women who wonder where all the good guys have gone, to the ones who want to get rid of the jerks and a-hole and instead date gentlemen and reward good behavior in men.

 

I might have financial obstacles to get around, but one thing in my life that I have mastered is how to be attractive to men, take the best one in the bunch, keep him around. I strongly believe I have a unique angle on these topics that doesn't exist out there nearly as much as it should.

 

Women already do want to listen to my advice. I know I could write sell books without getting formal education, BUT I understand that's still better to continue higher education, regardless, and I intend to do so in the future.

 

My grandma and I have talked and things are at a calm now.

 

For additional reasons other than what I have explained on here, it's best that I have a relationship with her from more a distance. We had a much better relationship before I moved here on her property. I'm sure it will be better again when we move out in a couple days.

 

Right now, I have to focus on packing and getting this place cleaned up for my dad to move in. Then I will be on the job hunt full time. Thanks everyone for your input.

 

Good luck and glad you resolved your issues with your grandmother! - your niche from what you describe is nothing new under the sun and I mean that with all respect - many many women seek out and take my advice over many many years now - about 25-30 years - and I have no formal education and have never tried to charge for it or write about it nor would I because I'm very familiar with what is available out there and from women who have what you have plus all the credentials and academic accomplishments and representation by agents, publishers, etc - (one of my favorite talk radio psychologists/authors died a few years ago- Dr. Joy Browne).

 

I respect you think your angle is unique. It may be. It won't pay the bills and likely will get you into more debt. Helping others is laudable and keep doing it! Just not as a money making thing unless you want to pursue a degree and you have connections no one else has -that needs to be your unique niche.