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JDAnthony

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  1. My younger sister reached out to me about a month ago saying she was not doing well. A little background: She's 29 and living in the northern Midwest with her boyfriend and her boyfriend's mom. They have been living with, and living off of his mom for several years. My sister has been a supervisor at a party supplies store but was recently laid off due to COVID. She's been on unemployment for a few months now. Her boyfriend, also 29, hasn't had a job in quite a while. He thinks he's going to make it big as a gaming streamer on Twitch, so he spends all day doing that. (I've previously warned her about that part before). His mom works and pays most of the bills for the house. His mom is the only one with a car as well. So basically, my sister and her bf are almost 30 and still living like teenagers. His mom doesn't seem to care and has been enabling it. So when my sister contacted me, she told me that she's upset because she caught her boyfriend talking sexually with another girl through online. This is the 3rd time he's done this in the past few years. She said she wants to move out but has nowhere to go. I live in the South and we have another sister that lives here too. Her and I talked about our sister up north and how much of a toxic and unhealthy situation she is in. The sister in my city has offered for her to move here to the south and stay at her house because she has a lot of extra room. She has said she is welcome to come and be herself but she'll eventually have to get a job and get on her own feet. So she's been somewhat interested in this option but has repeatedly brought up several concerns about COVID and the lifestyle here. She is hesitant because she says it's a big change. I've told her that is is going to be an adjustment but anything is better than what she has going on right now. She seemed rather on board about the idea until yesterday. Sh's like, "Well I want to come, but COVID is on the rise and I'm telling you, I haven't left my house AT ALL in months and I'd like it to stay that way until the virus is over." She says she's not interested in leaving her house to have another job outside of the home until the virus is over and is looking for opportunities online to make money. I understand that because that is what I have done but I've worked hard for a couple of years to gain certain skills to be able to work and offer services online. But I told her that her unemployment isn't going to last forever. She understands that but she says she wants to wait until it runs out and then she'll get a job outside of the home only if she absolutely has to, and THEN she might think about moving down here. She says it's too much of a risk to her health to move down here right now. Meanwhile our other sister that lives here is getting fed up with her stalling and excuses. She's offering for her to move down here right now, not "maybe, whenever she feels like it, IF she gets desperate for money someday" So I'm wondering, is using COVID as her reason for hesitating a reasonable excuse? I understand there's concerns but I'm thinking she might not really be that interested in getting out of her situation. I just don't know why she would rather stay there and be cuckolded by her man and keep living off of his moms and whatever she's getting on unemployment. Is it a lost cause?
  2. Update: Hey guys. I just wanted to come back here and thank those that replied and inboxed with their advice about this issue I was having. Since this happened, my husband and I moved into our new apartment. It's really nice! We particularly enjoy the pool and Jacuzzi. Financially, we are doing so much better. My relationship with my grandma has improved greatly since there has been a little bit of distance. I'll still grab her a few groceries now because she's too vulnerable to be out and about with the virus, but my dad does more of that too now. I was hired for a 2nd part time job in January and we pulled ourselves out of debt and started a savings. I was recently furloughed from that job due to COVID until further notice. My performing gig is also on pause right now, probably for the remainder of the year. Then, since all of this with COVID has been happening, I've hit the ground running with my writing. I've put in many applications for remote jobs and have done several interviews, with a couple of really good offers. The competition has been insane since everyone started jumping on all work from home jobs, but I've gone through a great resume and networking course. I've been freelancing for the websites at a couple of different well known women's lifestyle magazines as well as a blog for a new start-up dating app. I've never known the opportunities that freelancing can bring when you really hustle at it. I've also recently been hired as a Relationship Coach for an online coaching service. I am being trained and certified through the company.
  3. I didn't want to get too detailed on here. My niche is advice to women about dating and navigating relationships with men, attraction, standards, etc. It's to the women who wonder where all the good guys have gone, to the ones who want to get rid of the jerks and a-hole and instead date gentlemen and reward good behavior in men. I might have financial obstacles to get around, but one thing in my life that I have mastered is how to be attractive to men, take the best one in the bunch, keep him around. I strongly believe I have a unique angle on these topics that doesn't exist out there nearly as much as it should. Women already do want to listen to my advice. I know I could write sell books without getting formal education, BUT I understand that's still better to continue higher education, regardless, and I intend to do so in the future. My grandma and I have talked and things are at a calm now. For additional reasons other than what I have explained on here, it's best that I have a relationship with her from more a distance. We had a much better relationship before I moved here on her property. I'm sure it will be better again when we move out in a couple days. Right now, I have to focus on packing and getting this place cleaned up for my dad to move in. Then I will be on the job hunt full time. Thanks everyone for your input.
  4. Writer, dating and relationship coach. This has already been discussed throughout the thread.
  5. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to accomplish my dreams of being an entrepreneur. I refuse to give up on them.
  6. My husband has a full time job now and he is looking for one within his means of capability that pays more. I’m willing to get a full time job in order to sustain a living now, pay off debt, and then start a savings but I vehemently do not wish to be working the 9 to 5 jive long term. If that means I’ll have to work 40 hours a week for a couple years and an additional 40 hours a week working on my online business and additional schooling then that’s what I’ll have to do.
  7. Here's what I have been doing so far. In 2014 I spent about a year on a website called Elancer which is now Upwork where I bid on projects and wrote about a variety of different topics. This wasn't the only thing I was doing, still had my retail job. Was making about 100 a week writing for Elance that but stopped when I realized I wanted to focus more on writing about dating and relationships. Then my mom died and I went on a hiatus from writing for about 6 months. Then in 2015 I created a blog style website of articles I've written giving dating and relationship advice. Written about a hundred separate articles for content mills such as Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, Bustle, Bolde, Huffington Post. Some of which I have gotten paid for as a freelancer contributor. I scaled back on my writing in 2017 to pursue a job as a fire and led performance artist (a skilled hobby I have been on for several years) with a group that wanted to hire me when we moved to SC. It's fun and makes good extra money but I don't have the energy or will to travel constantly like some of the other people in this group, so now I'm an alternate and take on a few local gigs here and there. I am very present on several social media platforms and online communities where people inbox me advice for their specific situation, which I give them advice for free. Built and email list to my more dedicated followers where I send out newsletter type of emails and more exclusive content. I've been doing all of this in my free time and have always also had my job in retail working between 20-35 hours a week (since 2009) What I want for the future: Build a larger following doing what I'm doing only more consistently. Write and sell ebooks, hard copy books. Service courses and one on one sessions through my website. Start a podcast/videocast. So what degrees or certifications would be best for this? Social work and psychology? Marriage and family therapy? Also doing this would put me back into debt and not the small kind I'm in right now, but like tens of thousands... until I can pay it off later. Is that a good idea? I get discouraged about school because I know too many people with college degrees still working as Walmart Greeters and Gary Vaynerchuck barely finished high school and he's a millionaire.
  8. Yes at this new place place we should be able to cover the necessities as far as rent and utilities but should anything come up, like a car repair needed (and stuff like this often does) that's what I'm worried about, along with actually paying off credit card and loan debt. Emergencies is how we got into debt here: First, we had to travel back home for his moms funeral. On the way there, our engine blew and we had to get the car towed, replace the whole engine, and use a rental car for a month until his car was fixed. Plus my husband had to help pay for the actual funeral. Then he went to the ER twice last year with no insurance. Then my sister gave me her car to use but it needed a lot of repairs and replacements. That was only a couple thousand and my dad helped pay for some of that but about half that went on my credit card. There's no public transportation here so before I had the car, I was Ubering to and from work if I couldn't get someone else I knew for a lift for a good while but that costed me anywhere between $30- $80 a week, depending. So now we have cut down on unnecessary costs. He had a gym membership he cancelled. I cancelled netflix and we both switched to a cheaper phone service plan. We'll probably eat cheap for a while too, no eating out. Just hoping nothing else happens that puts us in deep.
  9. I have enrolled in some through Coursera, although I don't yet have any formal degrees or certifications, but I'm looking into that. Most of my writing is based on experience, observation, and pulling from studies/statistical data. There are ways to position yourself as an authority in your field and build clientele without having a fancy University degree, (one called the "Know, Like, and Trust factor") but I intent on furthering my knowledge and education through whatever means I have.
  10. Grandma has been paid and I have apologized for hurting her. Thanks everyone for your responses. With regards to work, I'm applying for part time and full time within my field of skills, which is content writing and my niche specialty is dating and relationship dynamics, but I also write about other lifestyle topics as well. As I've talked about before, I'm building an online audience through articles and blog posts. For quite a while, I was only doing this as a hobby but I've since realized this is the only thing I really want to do. I think if I put enough effort and consistency into what I'm already doing, I can have an audience to sell products and services that I create directly to through my website. So I am dedicating at LEAST 20 hours a week to this, if not more if I have the time. I got up at 5am today and knocked out an article, before I went to my retail job. Then I come home and check job offers, both local and remote on Indeed, Linkedin, and Glassdoor and apply to jobs I find interesting there. This is going to be my routine until something happens. All I know is that I don't have what it takes to work in retail anymore. The job I have now wasn't the job I had when I first came to this place. I was stocking during non business hours and I loved it because I didn't have to interact with Karen and Doris about coupons. But the stocking overnight shift was done away with by corporate and they offered me a position on the salesfloor during the day and I've hated it ever since. But I've been sticking it out until I find something better. Don't get me wrong. I respect those who have in them to do this job effectively without anxiety, but that's just not me. We all have our place in life. To the last person who asked about moving back to where we were, we've thought about it. Neither one of us like it there aside from the little bit of family we have left there. That and there are no good jobs there for my husband who is limited to where he can work due to some medical issues. Rent was cheap but so are the employers. Wow didn't mean for this to turn into a whole story.
  11. We used a credit card for the vet. You know what, I'll just take a cash advance and give it to her. She just texted me overnight and called me and my sisters "dogs." I can't take this anymore.
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