Am I crazy wanting him back? Messy break up (long post)

[boltnrun]

He already knows all of that.

 

You just want to give him one more chance to tell you he made a horrible.mistake and he wants you back. Just like you insist you must attend his mother's wedding because she's just so sweet and loves you so much, but then you admit you're hoping to reconnect with him there.

 

I wouldn't send it, but I think you will anyway.

[CatHeroine]

No I'd rather not, I don't want to break my nc which I'm holding quite well... My last message to him was quite bad... I caused a lot of unnecessary drama too... Begging pleading.... Talking to his family (which he might not know about fully as they keep most things to themselves but who knows).

[Hollyj]

I'll try my best. I thought about reaching out one more time saying what I've found over here

 

I liked you very much, I wish this could have continued on a mutual basis. But if this is something you cannot commit to, then this is something I don't want either. So for now, lets keep things separated. I will miss you as a person but moving on is more important. Hopefully we can come in contact again sometime when feelings are buried, but now is not the moment.

 

Thoughts? I don't want him to remember me by the drama I caused during and after the break up

 

Please don't. You have already reached out enough. You gain nothing. You are still failing to recognize that he was cheating on YOU.

 

He did not treat you with any respect and he has moved on from the relationship. It is time to move on.

[Billie28]

I'll try my best. I thought about reaching out one more time saying what I've found over here

 

I liked you very much, I wish this could have continued on a mutual basis. But if this is something you cannot commit to, then this is something I don't want either. So for now, lets keep things separated. I will miss you as a person but moving on is more important. Hopefully we can come in contact again sometime when feelings are buried, but now is not the moment.

 

Thoughts? I don't want him to remember me by the drama I caused during and after the break up

 

Why???

This relationship was dysfunctional, it’s not going to change by you repeating yourself?

Why would you want contact when feelings are buried???

You have both clearly buried your feelings the entire relationship.

Now that they are out in the open and you hopefully realise this relationship was simply dysfunctional , why woukd you want to go there again and open up contact for a repeat of the same?

 

Why was his whatsapp open for you to access?

I’m guessing because of prior lack of trust and him trying to be an open book , which still didn’t sit well with you?

 

No partner should ever grant their partner access to any private social media , e mail etc.

And no partner should ever agree to it.

 

Trust is blind.

 

My smothering theory as you call it still stands.

 

His mother will love his next gf just as much and she won’t be in contact with you then. It is what it is!

 

My exes mum was super lovely , but when I split with him I split with her.

 

That’s life!

 

Your next bfs mum I’m sure will love you too.

[CatHeroine]

He uses WhatsApp Web and I use the laptop for work so he casually mentioned to look up the people he talked about while facetiming. I would have never had issues with him using my accounts, hell i wouldn't have cared if he snooped either, i had nothing to hide. The problem occurred when I was working and then the messages started to pop up and yeah I saw them even when I shouldn't have. But I would have felt like an idiot if i didn't know the way he talks to the girls. It was getting worse. The worse I felt the worse he got.

 

He was showing me his messages thinking that makes him (look) transparent and innocent. But even then I didn't like the way the teenager talked and how he was giving he the attention she craved. During break up this was his argument but I thought it was manipulative. Showing someone you're a murderer doesn't name you any less of a criminal.

 

I leave the smothering theory then to you. I still don't know what you base it up on.

[Wiseman2]

Then stop the drama and don't send this type of self-serving wound-licking nonsense. Leave him and his family alone. Go back to your country, family and job back home. Live your life, be happy.

I liked you very much, I wish this could have continued on a mutual basis. But if this is something you cannot commit to, then this is something I don't want either. So for now, lets keep things separated. I will miss you as a person but moving on is more important. Hopefully we can come in contact again sometime when feelings are buried, but now is not the moment.

 

I don't want him to remember me by the drama I caused during and after the break up

[CatHeroine]

I found this here on ENA and i found it good to give a closure on a more positive note but you're right i won't send it.